My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Thanks Chicagoan. I am sorry they did not say hello to you. I know we will make it too. Guess I will just have to walk more. Take my mind off quarantine.
Philly, I know that video had him washing down packaging but I cannot imagine doing that all the time. I did it with my deliveries and was exhausted. Just going to wash hands and live my life.
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re: Frisky - she's in NYC and was having real problems with her hemoglobin I think, and that was some weeks ago based on a posting she had in one of the other threads, I think the Jane McLelland protocol thread.
Elderberry: I've taken to sticking a large pillow between us, upright along the long end, so at least one person isn't breathing directly on the other, and Other Half more or less hangs off the far side of the bed most of the time anyway. Our place is also really tiny so if someone got really sick Im not entirely sure how we would manage it with bathrooms/cat transit/office and sleeping space.
Mae - congrats on the scans and (brain) stability, at least all this trouble has been worth it for that (I hope, although I know when you are in a real long haul of pain/less than comfortable you tend to wonder)
Dodgers - any chance to use a local meal delivery service (already prepared, not like Hello Fresh)? Or alternatively something like a frozen meal delivery service like Home Bistro, at least for a few meals so you have some options in the freezer? That is a real conundrum (and the pain nausea while cooking is awful, I know!)
I hope they can get this antibody test sorted out somehow soon - I think that would go far to alleviate a lot of public stress and panic.
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I haven't dropped in for a couple of days and so much has happened here that I have not caught up. Not that I'm ever caught up.
Have been self isolating and not wearing real pants and today I had to go to town and had to put on real pants and it felt weird. Town is deserted. I got a really good parking spot! In the drugstore, where I have to go to mail something, a lady stopped me at the door and made me wait there until anyone else in the store had done their thing and left. They are not allowing 'browsing'. You get in, do your stuff (mail, purchase, prescription) and get out. Grocery store has installed big plexiglass shield around check outs. Now no one can hear what the lady is saying. That will be $56.00. What? $56.00. Can you speak up? FIFTY SIX DOLLARS... we have a lot of deaf elderly around here.
People have asked me to sew them face masks. Yes, we all know they are not going to protect anyone from anything. But they are a courtesy. Mostly for people who work with fragile populations but can't get medical masks, because they are being used in hospital settings. I have some very dense 400 thread count fabric (it's a bed sheet) that I use to line the masks. This is far more tightly woven than the average quilt store cotton, which I use on the outside. Had a friend who is having a new baby ask me about masks, for guests, just to take one little step to keep the baby protected - when visiting is actually allowed.
I won't go into my feelings over this whole thing. They are complicated. Suffice it to say I work out my angst by going outside in my gumboots, piling up a big bunch of branches and mess, dumping diesel fuel on and tossing a match. Where are the marshamllows?
Mae, I am sorry to hear you are in the dumps but happy to hear that all sounds stable medically. Hugs to all and I hope you can each get out of the house and set something on fire.0 -
Rosie,
Thinking of you today. Let us know how the scan goes.
Mae,
Also very happy to hear things are stable. I’m hoping better days are ahead.
(Big sigh). I am so weary of this virus and the news each day. I am trying to stay positive, but it’s hard. I bought a book to keep myself occupied.
Hoping all of my dear MBC sisters stay well.
Love to all.
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Rosie- Pocket duty for scan today.
Mae- Glad you got good scan results, but sorry you are struggling so with the swallowing issues. Any helpful advise from doc? Surely they can offer something to help. Hugs.
Hi to all---Elderberry, Minus Two, Shetland,Tanya, Mel, Mara, Dodgers, Chicagoan, Philly, Sondra, runor.
This virus stuff is surreal. The numbers keep climbing-- in my State and in the U.S. as a whole. They are talking months of quarantine. And that it may be seasonal and come back in the fall with cold/flu season. But vaccine still a year and a half away. They are talking a test to see if one has had the virus with mild symptoms and be immune. I have not even had a cold this season, so I know I am not immune. Will I ever be able to go out again? Even if it slows, if 1 is sick and I have no immunity I could get it. Makes you want to go out and purposely get it--- like having kids around kids with chicken pox. Get it and get it over with.
Another day of laundry, treadmill, TV, and books. When this is over, it will feel weird to see other people (I live alone).
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If we are lucky all this effort will just mean we can avoid rationing care. That's the whole point of the quarantine.
On another thread, I saw a twitter comment that made this very powerful point: those empty streets and stadiums are evidence of how very much we humans love our fellow humans.... Most of the US population *will* get this virus. Most people will have a minor illness and move on. And yet people are staying home to protect our elders, our immune compromised, our chronically ill.... we stay home to save the lives of people we will never meet, and never know. To honor how brave out medical personnel are. To work together as a group for the best outcome of the group. It gave me a good feeling to see it this way. Our fellow citizens care that people on this thread are not put at risk. We are loved.
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Hello Ladies~ I am feeling each and everyone of you! I am not liking the numbers and or being the country with the most cases? How the hell Is that even possible? When it didn't even start here? I'm hoping because we are testing so much. But it's very depressing and scary. I am also worried I'll get it for sure. Really wish I knew if my son had it two weeks ago. And maybe we didn't know. Basically we know. Nothing and are a country flying by the seat of its pants. We are dealing with something that creeped up on us. Did people know about this a lot longer then they let on? Could that have helped. It's all just crazy. I have a respiratory issue. Two actually. Asthma And one lung I breathe on. I do not want to take a chance. If I knew I could survive it, I would be in agreement of the chicken pox theory. Get it over with. But I don't know how severe this really could be. Flu's have almost put me in the hospital and this thing is killing thousands. I don't want to stay in anymore either. I want my days back to my days.
i also know the flu kills a hell of a lot people as well!0 -
I read somewhere that they think perhaps the severity of the illness has to do with the intensity of exposure. So if you get a tiny airborne particle vs an emergency room nurse who has someone cough all over her, the severity of disease might behave accordingly. This is a current theory.
The Chinese outbreak was known-about in late December. There has been national pandemic planning for some years, and an outbreak in China SHOULD have touched off a ramp-up response in the USA and other countries as early as January (eg get more ventilators, develop rapid tests, etc). So about 8 weeks were wasted.
I saw an interesting graphic that conveys how it spreads. It was a cellphone data map. They began with showing the "pings" of all the cell phones on one Florida beach at spring break. Each phone was a red light. Then the map showed all those same phones over the next several days. From a pin dot of one beach in Florida, the red lights spread across the whole southeastern USA. We are so mobile that every area is at risk.
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they took the cooties with them! Spring break should have been canceled by their parents. Where are they in all this? I would not allow my child to go. Even if I’ve paid for the trip myself. Their safety, and of course DH & I as well is first. So I just wish people would stay in to shorten the time of exposure. Some aren’t heeding still. Also, basically everyone is essential except restaurants and bars. Etc..... those people are suffering the worst. My sister is a bar Tender, she makes her living on tips. If you’re not at work. You get no tips. She’s at her tipping point. It’s a mess it truly is. Peoples lives here and the politicians should be ashamed of themselves, puttzing around with peoples lives. Get moving.
Runor. Good to see you Lol at not wearing real pants!!! You make me laugh.......
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I am sorry that your country has the most cases of covid. I am hopeful, and this goes for both countries that we flatten the curve of infection enough so that everyone can get treatment as necessary. I do think places like italy and spain were just caught up so quickly that there was not enough equipment to adjust.
The PPE is important to get out to people right away and hopefully it arrives before there is a swell in cases as there will inevitably be showing up. I have limited my exposure to the news of this disease to my local news and also the update my prime minister gives. i don't need to hear 24/7 coverage otherwise or even pay attention to anyplace but my own location. I just can't combine my quarantine stress with any paranoia about covid. I minimize outings, don't ride public transit and when walking, keep a safe distance. I also did go to the grocery store when it opened as the sign does indicate immune compromised people were welcome. More stock and more room between people, cashiers have plexiglass barriers and rub their gloved hands after every order. My store is also less busy than a place like Walmart would be. I am only going to shop my local store for now. Washing my hands everytime I touch my face, even at home.
I am going to cancel an echo I have scheduled for apr 3 rd since it is just routine. I want to wait until the quarantine is over before I go for tests. Just eases my mind. I also had cancelled the neuro onc appointment since that one was about drugs I would not take. Again, the quarantine had taken effect by then so I did not want to go anyway.
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Just got a call from the pharmacy that my missing letrozole has arrived to be picked up at any time. Great - guess Ill just trundle in to the hospital on Monday morning to get it over with before the real mess hits. At least the bus takes no time at all these days and Im the only one on it!
Otherwise end of another week and I've got a pizza dough rising right now in the cupboard, so that should keep me occupied for an hour or two making dinner with the 80s radio station on. Im rewatching Arrested Development for the laughs - need something these days - interspersed with an old classic movie or some Golden Girls. Too easy to get into an online news depression hole.
I went out an hour ago to enjoy the sun and get some air. There was an adorable puppy out and about enjoying the waterlife and I saw two middle-aged men strolling along and talking, each carrying a pint glass half filled with beer they probably poured at home. So ok its a bit of breaking the rules, but had to laugh a little at the ingenuity of getting in their Friday drink and catch up!
Stay safe everyone!
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Ok so I need to vent.
I think I am living in an alternate reality anymore.
I live in a small rural town. Everyone drives to places in their vehicles. Not walk. I have not been out of my house, out of my yard, for the last week. Last Friday I went to pick up groceries at Walmart--pick up option. I live alone. So today I went to my church. I am the volunteer secretary so I have a key to the building. I can check phone messages remotely from home and no services planned for who knows how long so not much to do as secretary. But today I needed to look up some info at the church. The pastor was there with another guy from the congregation. They were working on setting up a conference call for Sunday mornings service. So at least the congregation can have a service over the phone, audio only. I said Hi but stuck to the 6 foot distance rule. The roads were busy with traffic. I drove past a Dollar store, parking lot full. Gas station full. Past a food pantry, full with the people in line NOT adhering to the 6 foot rule. Nothing looked different about the town.
It felt weird. I have been alone for a week in my home. Scared of this virus. And life seems to be going on around me. Surreal. I want to be back in life. I don't want to live out my days (who knows how long with MBC) inside alone. I want to live again. I don't know if I can do months of this.
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I hear you about that. I had to get out today myself so I got a couple of staples at the grocery store which was about a 20 min walk. I went early and hardly anyone was there which was good. This afternoon, I was itching to get out so walked up a different street than usual, you can see the river from there. Not too crowded so was able to avoid any close contact.
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I usually spend a ton of time alone. Usually everyday. But when this shelter in place happened. My DH was here and he got ordered to work from home. So he’s been here 15 days today. I don’t know what I would do if he was not here. He prepared before the craziness hit. I feel blessed. I would have my son at night. But he’s still walk-ing around with his head in the clouds somewhat. My DH calms me. He does have to run down Sunday, to get the mail stopped and check in to the office. I won’t like that!
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Thanks to all for the pocket duty 😊 and the well wishes today from Booboo and Candy 😊. My scans are done. There was one hitch in that the bone scan machine was down when I arrived and luckily they were able to take me at a nearby hospital with just a short wait. I was glad I didn’t have to reschedule because I already had the nuclear stuff running in my system for a few hours and was ready to go. That place is usually bustling with lots of people everywhere but I was the only one in the waiting room today. The roads were pretty quiet but Chick Fil A (I’m a new fan!) and other drive throughs were hopping.
Covid 19 forecasts here are showing mid to late April as our peak and some are even giving numbers like 6,000 to 7,000 new cases a day at our peak. That seems crazy (since right now Ohio is at about 1,100) and I sure hope it doesn’t happen!! 😳.
I don’t see my MO until April 7, so I’ll probably call and ask for my general results by phone next week. I know I won’t be able to stay sane that long without knowing something.
Take care of yourselves, friends. 🌻
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Appreciate all the good wishes, although that was pages ago! Mae great news, but you’ll be fading away to a shadow and surely your energy levels must be really low! Rosie jus the waiting for result to do now....
Candy is it you who has the treadmill? Was just thinking today If I could find someone to lend me one or a static bike. We are literally being policed off the streets now...my DH works part time in Asda( Walmart) and there were 4 officers controlling the flow of the 100+ queue
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Karen- Yes I have the treadmill. Purchased it online at WalMart in 2018. Not expensive. $300.00. Not fancy. Start, stop, and speeds of 1 mile per hour to 10 miles per hour. I usually walk 1 -2 miles per hour for 30 minutes. Glad I have it. I can walk in the comfort of my own home- warm in winter months, cool in summer months. I keep it in a spare bedroom. Does take up quite a bit of space.
So I got a call from MO office today. I have MO appt Tuesday. They asked if I wanted telemedicine appt---audio call since I don't have video capabilities. I said Yes, but I am due for monthly blood work, off week Ibrance. They said they will discuss with MO and call me Monday to tell me whether I need to physically come in. I am ok with skipping the labs, taking Ibrance as scheduled, and doing audio call from MO. We will see.
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I’ve had a similar experience to candy’s today, of venturing out and seeing business as usual going on around me. People standing close together in a line in front of a dental office or chatting in a parking lot, people out shopping. It’s surreal to see this. Kind of like when we got the cancer diagnoses and were surprised to see the world still going along as usual when our own world had just imploded. These people tick me off, actually. I want to say to them, you do realize that by not staying home, you increase the chances that I will go to the hospital with covid19 and find no bed or ventilator available?
What am I doing out? Picking up plants that I ordered via email and phone, to be loaded by an employee into the back of my long vehicle. Gardening is going to save my spirit in all this.
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Shetland- I know, right. I think the stay at home order needs to be enforced. I started thinking I was being ridiculous by staying at home. Just found out we have our 1st case of COVID in my county. It is all around our area.
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I would love to have a treadmill also! Or an elyptical! I miss moving physically. I figure either I use it or loose it and I don't want that. I'm going to take a look online at Walmart. One thing I have been Doing is some Christmas shopping, I figure. A little each paycheck couldn't hurt and it keeps my mind looking forward to organizing and getting everything together. I know it's super early. But i need a project other than just cross stitch. Dh works all day. So I am making my lists. I consider myself almost done with the women in my family, just have to start the men. They take more thought. Women are fun to buy for. Men are trickier.
Your pocket was pretty full Rosie! Glad it's over. Sorry the one machine was broken. But glad they made it happen!!
Hello to Karen! Candy and Mara, Tanya, Sondra,Runor, Minnie, Mae! Hope you're in better spirits today my friend.... minus,Dodgersgirl, Shetland, Grannax,hope everyone is doing good !
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Shetland~I totally agree. Totally. It’s like business as usual. It really is ignorance. People think they are invincible..... My town same thing. Wawa packed. Lowe’s. Packed. I mean people wondering around close to you even though you should be 6 ft or more away. I was about to loose my shit.... like get a clue people. Stay at home means stay at home!!!!
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One reason to wear a mask/gloves out: it reminds clueless people we're having a problem!
Shetland I just started my garden too. Good therapy, and some salads!
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I am starting to find it difficult to hide my worry about getting this. At first when our numbers were with in reasonable numbers I was like, well maybe I won't get it. Well.... I'm freaking scared to get it. DH asked me tonight what was wrong and the water works went off. I told Him, how I felt like the odds were stacked against us with getting this virus that may, could , maybe, possibly, kill us , or give us a bad cold or who the hell Knows what. It's hard to fathom one person causes all this death and illness by being bitten by a bat? Seriously? I feel like it's only a matter of time before i get it. It makes me anxious and that is what DH was seeing. I'm Just not myself. I'm scared. Plain and simple. Add this on top of MBC's effects. Scary stuff. Double whammy of unknowns. Sigh. My eyes are puffy and I feel tired. But my mind won't shut off. This is just plain awful. I hope for all of us, this clears up. Somehow someway and sooner than later. A $1200 check won’t calm our health fears. Not even close.
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Where I am, there were a lot of people out walking, as was I BUT nobody was congregating together or standing near each other. If I was going to pass a person on the sidewalk, either myself or the other person would go to the side of the road instead. Most people respected the 6 ft rule.
I went for 3 separate walks today, all outdoor since it was nice outside.
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Just to note - a few weeks ago (heck, even last weekend!) I felt the same way you ladies are now - why aren't people staying more apart? Why are you still going out in groups? Dont you read the news? And you just KNOW those same people aren't washing their hands fully either. Things seem to have sunk in a bit more here (the line going aaaaaaalllll the way around the grocery store because folks are standing 6 feet apart and they are limiting entrance and quantities now), a LOT more masks when out and about, and people respectfully swerving to maintain distance when they pass others doing their daily exercise. I haven't seen any police in my area, but I have seen Horse Cops out in the City (what, to break up some errant stockbrokers?) and it mostly looks like they are keeping people out of parks and off beaches.
For me the greater fear isn't the virus or the virus + cancer, its the fact that any other medical care is more or less curtailed right now. Having problems with something else? Well.... hey Dr Google! Who do you turn to get help? You can't even get through to the ambulance service right now if its a major situation. What if I my situation from last fall happened now and I needed to be checked nothing was impinging on my spinal cord? Or something like moomala or Dodgers and their serious D requiring observation and liquids/meds? We all know cancer doesn't play fair so beyond the worry of getting the severe strain I just don't want to have a situation where I need actual medical help.
Finally, all this fear about 'getting it' or 'being infected' and the perception of it practically being a death sentence, like for those heavily publicized cases (which for the most part it isnt), maybe now the MOs will understand the fear of the cancer patient and what its like to wait for testing results or the fear of your status changing at any moment to a more life-threatening one. That may be more true for the UK where I suspect these folks will be drafted in at various points (god help the person who gets my bookworm MO with terrible communication skills) - but tiptoeing in our shoes for a few weeks/months will hopefully help some of them understand the anxiety a bit better.
On a more positive note - sun still out here and I was able to get a grocery delivery slot for just before Easter. Had to park a really nice bottle of scotch in there to hold the order which I will amend later, but I suspect that bottle will not be removed from the cart
I've found a scotch and soda is a rather nice tipple in these days of Ibrance - you can water it down a ton and pretend you are having a drink (unless its the week off), and its less sugary than a gin and tonic.Have a great Saturday everyone!
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There is a facebook post I will paste as it is public. I agree with this man that we need to hear more about survivors than just number of infected and deaths. Yes, those numbers are important, yes we need to know to keep physical distancing but we need more good news survival stories. We also need to know that although you could be young or old and be hospitalized, most people have mild symptoms. Even those of us with underlying conditions can have mild symptoms. It is hard to think about that when we are constantly told the bad of the pandemic.
This is me with my mum she has survived Hitler open heart surgery 2 replacement knees and 2 replacement hips. Few weeks ago she fell fractured her hip 2 ribs and her spine. Last week she was diagnosed with Covid 19 and spent a week in intensive care she is 86.......
Today she has been given the all clear this is the sort of thing the media should be concentrating on there is hope people
There is hope and people need to hang on to that. Not everyone who gets the virus winds up in hospital and it can be survived.
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The biggest thing I am struggling with is not being able to actually see my family. I had a big cry when someone posted on facebook we could still be physically distancing in August. I was hit with having to be so totally on my own without ANY real friends and family in my life. I just don't know how I will survive that part of the pandemic even with all the online social. I appreciate my phone friend Shirley, I know I can talk and call family but it is not the same. Not going to put this on my SIL and DB as they already are stressed themselves.
I do know that my pain is nothing compared to people who have lost or are losing someone and not being allowed to be with them. I try to use that as an example of how I am lucky I guess. I guess I need to think about others who don't have enough income, businesses that are having to close etc to get out of my own head for a while. The world doesn't revolve around me and that I must keep reminding myself/
I will keep exercising and talking to you guys and hopefully this all goes away sooner and that it does not come back in a few months as is expected.
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Morning Saturday to all.
Mara- Sorry you are feeling lonely and missing family right now. This virus is mental as well as physical since we have to distance from loved ones.
I have my windows open this morning. Cloudy and 70 right now. Chance of rain/thunder today. TV shows and treadmill today. I just wonder how this is going to play out--the virus. I mean, so many in the U.S. and the world that HASN'T had it yet. At some point, do we just move on and the ones that are going to get it, get it. I mean, we cannot social distance FOREVER. Life has to move on--schools open, businesses open, people go back to work. Sometimes I fear I will have to stay inside my home for the rest of my days. If I knew I would have a mild case I would deliberately go out and catch it. But, how will it effect me--- ventilator and death? Doesn't sound like a good way to go--struggling to breathe. Wow, never saw this coming. I always worried about the cancer.
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Hi, Candy and all,
Yes, this really is a mental game, isn't it?
I am a news junkie, and always watch multiple news programs per day. I just can't do that now. It is so depressing to see all of the death, the illness, the bad situations at hospitals and other healthcare facilities, etc. Like others, I have found it to be too depressing. Also, as we are all always doing -- it's tough to imagine getting this on top of MBC. Talk about a double whammy.
It's raining here today in the DC area. Very gloomy. We had about a half hour before where the sun peaked out, but the forecast says rain. Doing some work, but also I think I'm going to find a good movie to watch at some point today. We all need a break from this constant bad news!!!!
Take care, folks.
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>>>>also a newsjunkie
>>>>Television junkie
>>>>Netflix junkie
And so on and so on. ozark started. 🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤩🤪
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