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Chemo starting October 2017

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  • 70charger
    70charger Member Posts: 591
    edited March 2018

    Congrats to everyone!!

    Tip for those in & out of surgery, I would have hubby put everything I would need for cooking out on the counter before he left for work. Toaster frying pan, plate, bowl, tub of margarine, cup, glass., This way I could make toast / eggs for lunch without reaching up into the cupboard. Good luck, You are all doing great.

  • AgathaNYC
    AgathaNYC Member Posts: 317
    edited March 2018

    I hear what you're all saying about wondering how you know they "got" it all. I talked to my MO about it before my last chemo session. She told me that I will go in for physical check ups with her every 4 months the first 2 years, and 2 mammos a year. Sloan Kettering doesn't do full body scans like PET or MRI as follow-ups. Their research shows that the survival rate and longevity is the same whether you do them or not. The important thing is if I ever feel anything amiss anywhere in my body to go in to see her ASAP. I have to admit that didn't make me the most comfortable, but I trust her and I trust their research. I would like the reassurance of a clean scan, but not enough to pay for one on my own!

    Lisa - how did you get from the Nuclear Medicine dept to the Surgery area? Did you have to get dressed again and drive? How uncomfortable is it right after the dye procedure?

    DKK - good luck on the rad mapping. every procedure is one step closer to the end!!

    Jennifer - cool, I'm glad you got the Pink Pockets. I just put some inside a few zip-up and button-down tops this morning.

    I don't think the lumpectomy recovery will be so bad so i'm really prepping for the bi-lateral reduction that's in a couple of weeks. I also got a wedge pillow from Amazon. I slept on it last night and it was comfy. It's not as high an incline as it looked on line. I actually just put fresh sheets on the bed and it fit under the deep pocket fitted sheet. I haven't dealt with the shower. Hope it's not that big a deal. I have set up a card table in my kitchen and stocked it with water, food,disposible cups, plates, and utensils so that most everything I need is at tabletop level. I feel so lucky I don't have my long hair anymore -- what a bitch it would be to wash it!

  • LisaCincy
    LisaCincy Member Posts: 316
    edited March 2018

    Agatha, I got dressed and walked to the other building to get from nuclear to the Op site. Once there, I changed into my gown and met with my BS, my PS, my Pain Mgmt team and the PA for the BS. They all used permanent markers to draw on me, which was pretty funny. I mean, I can see drawing for a single mastectomy, but how could they screw up a BMX? Take out my gall bladder?

    I got the epidural installed about a half hour before surgery time. And the next thing I remember is waking up in recovery. Surgery was 8 hrs!

    FYI, The nuclear injection was no picnic but it wasn’t a big deal either. 4 injections total The pain lasted maybe 3 seconds so definitely nothing to stress over. We’ve all been through a lot worse and survived.

  • MamaFelice
    MamaFelice Member Posts: 165
    edited March 2018

    Whew! Of the grid for a week and once again, so much going on! 🎉Congrats Petey on finishing chemo-- YaY! 🎉 Hate to hear about your neuropathy struggles, but it should subside in a few weeks. I too had some from the Taxotere, but it has since almost faded away. Hang in there and keep your fingers and toes moving!

    Glad to hear both Lisa and Hiker made it through surgery with great success! I imagine you are just waiting on path results-- please keep us posted!

    DKK-- my doc's methods are like that Tri-lady mentioned.... no scans unless pain that lasts longer than 2 weeks. My BC was removed by surgery, BMX & ANLD. After that, PET scan was done and was clear....then onto chemo. I plan to find "something" hurting me in 6 months just to have scan.

    I've had a whirlwind of a week! Went to Florida to escape the cold and celebrate end of chemo with my brother. Flew from there to MD Anderson to meet with proton therapy radiologist. They did an extensive Ultrasound of all my nodes, and completed the treatment simulation and I'm covered in a rainbow of marks on my torso. Arrived back in NC on Wednesday and headed to onco gynecologist appointment to discuss oopherectomy. I mentioned how I would need the procedure (& port removal during same surgery) before heading back to MDA in 2-3 weeks to start treatment. And just like that, the doc was able to arrange all the tests, scans and biopsies I needed to proceed with surgery which she managed to coordinate for that Friday!

    So now I am resting and recovering from oopherectomy. I laughed at Lisa's comment about being a character in a Frankenstein novel-- because when I showered today and caught myself in the mirror I thought the same thing-- between my BMX scars, all the rads grafting marks, my bloated surgery tummy and 3 marks scattered about that! My oh my! I'm also starting on Arimidex this week-- I just first wanted to get over this surgery hump and then I will start. Waiting to hear if insurance will cover proton therapy and hope to know sometime this week. MDA told me I would start rads in 2-3 weeks. Treatment will last 6 weeks. I hate thinking about being away from my family for that long....and the cost of it all! Whew! That's my crazy past week, but glad to have gotten some of that behind me!

    Thinking of all of you-- praying for easy peasy lumpectomy for Agatha tomorrow and for great pathology results for everyone waiting! 💪🏼🙏🏻😘

  • LisaCincy
    LisaCincy Member Posts: 316
    edited March 2018

    Thank you, Mama Felice. My Surgical Pathology results were posted online today. I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty certain that there's no evidence of cancer in either breast or any of the 3 lymph nodes examined. Here's exactly what the final section says:

    SYNOPTIC REPORT
    Procedure
    Total mastectomy (including nipple-sparing and skin-sparing mastectomy)

    Specimen Laterality
    Right

    Tumor Site: Invasive Carcinoma
    Upper outer quadrant

    Tumor Size
    No residual invasive carcinoma

    Histologic Type
    No residual invasive carcinoma

    Histologic Grade (Nottingham Histologic Score)
    Glandular (Acinar)/Tubular Differentiation
    No residual invasive carcinoma
    Nuclear Pleomorphism
    No residual invasive carcinoma
    Mitotic Rate
    No residual invasive carcinoma
    Overall Grade
    No residual invasive carcinoma

    Margins
    Invasive Carcinoma Margins
    Cannot be assessed

    Regional Lymph Nodes
    Uninvolved by tumor cells
    Number of Lymph Nodes Examined: 4.
    Number of Sentinel Nodes Examined (if applicable): 3

    Treatment Effect
    Treatment Effect in the Breast
    No residual invasive carcinoma is present in the breast after presurgical
    therapy
    Treatment Effect in the Lymph Nodes
    No lymph node metastases and focal fibrous scarring in the nodes

    Lymphovascular Invasion
    Cannot be determined

    Pathologic Stage Classification (pTNM, AJCC 8th Edition)
    TNM Descriptors
    y (posttreatment)
    Primary Tumor (Invasive Carcinoma) (pT)
    pT0: No evidence of primary tumor
    Regional Lymph Nodes (pN)
    Modifier
    (sn): Sentinel node(s) evaluated.
    Category (pN)
    pN0: No regional lymph node metastasis identified or ITCs only

    Microcalcifications
    Not identified

    ***

    I believe it's the best possible result for me. I've been weeping like a baby all morning. You'd think I'd want to celebrate, but instead I'm just relieved and sad. Relieved that my cancer seems to have responded so well to treatment, yet so sad for others who won't be able to celebrate such good results. And sad that even in my case, I'll still have the fear of TNBC niggling at me for the next 2.5 years. No one deserves this hideous disease and we all deserve a long break from it. But I guess that's not the nature of cancer, and learning to cope and thrive in the face of fear and uncertainty is probably our biggest challenge.

    So...I guess we'll have to rise to that challenge, too. Fearlessly and gracefully. As women tend to do. Because we rock.

    Hugs to you all. Praying for all of you!

  • tri-lady7
    tri-lady7 Member Posts: 95
    edited March 2018

    Lisa- so happy that your pathology report showed good news! What a relief for you. Today was my last chemo. I feel great that I don't have to put my body through this any more. I'm looking forward to returning to some sense of normalcy even though I know that will take some time. Good luck to everyone who will be going through surgery soon! I will be starting rads the first week in April. Onwards to the next phase of the journey!

    image

    image

  • LisaCincy
    LisaCincy Member Posts: 316
    edited March 2018

    Congratulations, Tri-Lady! Woot! On to radiation and recovery!

  • MamaFelice
    MamaFelice Member Posts: 165
    edited March 2018

    How amazing is it to stop by this thread and find such great news!!

    Lisa, what an amazing blessing from above to have your pathology come back NED! You have to be shouting from the roof tops! You have been fearless and graceful over these past months, and will continue to carry that strength through radiation and beyond! Gooooo Lisa!! 💪🏼😃🌈 How is your chest feeling?

    🎉Congrats Tri-lady on crossing the chemo finish line! 🎉 Such a huge piece of treatment to endure and finish! Love the bell pics! On to rads-- you've got this! 👍🏼😃

    Still resting after oopherectomy here.... my belly is like an inflated basketball, Anyone have this surgery done and know about how long it takes for the air to absorb into the intestines and get expelled? I'm going to check some ooph threads for some answers. Toodles ya'll!

  • AgathaNYC
    AgathaNYC Member Posts: 317
    edited March 2018

    MamaFelice - Sending waves of healing your way. I don't know about oophorectomies - hope you get answers in the oooh thread.

    LisaRx - that's the best news possible!!! I'm so happy for you. Good to know chemo was worth it.

    Tri-lady - Congrats on finishing chemo! It's a great thing to have it behind you.

    My lumpectomy went well - sentinel nodes were clear so need to take any axillary nodes. I'm really happy about that. I'm fairly uncomfortable but it's not so bad. Ice and Norco keeping it under control.

    In a little bit I can take off the bandages and take a shower - I'm really looking forward to that. Curious to see how big the incision site is.

    Keep up the good work ladies. I'll check in soon. :-)

  • LisaCincy
    LisaCincy Member Posts: 316
    edited March 2018

    Agatha, Wonderful news re the clear nodes. Here's hoping that what was left of your tumor was dead, dead, dead!

  • LisaCincy
    LisaCincy Member Posts: 316
    edited March 2018

    MamaFelice, the chest is not feeling like my own yet. It's definitely an alien feeling. It actually feels exactly what it is: that I have implants inserted underneath my skin, except that the skin has no feeling yet. It's odd to touch my chest and feel the warmth, yet not feel any sensation. Hope I'll recover some of that. Also, I'm not going to have radiation unless the BS tells me otherwise. I was talking to Tri-lady when I said "On to radiation."

    I haven't had an oopherectomy, but I have had a c-section. It took maybe 36 hours for my belly to start expelling all that gas. I remember them being really interested in when I was able to pass gas. :)


  • LisaCincy
    LisaCincy Member Posts: 316
    edited March 2018

    On to other important topics. I’ve started back on Nioxin after taking a week off the week prior to surgery. Here is my hair 21 days PFC.


    image

  • HikerVA1956
    HikerVA1956 Member Posts: 53
    edited March 2018

    Tri-Lady Congrats on Ringing the Bell!!! What great photos! Agatha, I thought about ordering all the special pillows, but since I have several extra bedrooms with lots of pillows I had done well with what I have. I have one of those large-bigger than king size behind me on the bed, two pillows on each side another behind me and small one where ever needed.... sort of boxed in-effect. I was NEVER a back sleeper but have had no problem, plus the surgery and drains keep you from wanting to roll over. I do the same in a large over size chair I have down stairs, with the pillows surrounding me. Worst part is getting in and out of the cozy spot to go to the bathroom (lol). I also thought about the shower chair, but have not needed it. I do have a shower downstairs with the seats in the corners, but have just used the one upstairs. I was able to remove the bandages and shower the second day. I went yesterday for my one week follow-up and everything is healing fine, my right side (cancer side) is still more swollen but both sides are still draining and proceeding to heal normally. I go back in a week. My hospital gave me this little net apron after surgery, pink and has two pockets and ties in the back. That holds the drains and I can raise and lower my pjs as needed without messing with the position of the drains. I had not seen one on line, but like it. I will probably not need it for too many more weeks. After surgery, they gave me nothing else, no cami or support bra or anything. I had asked them pre-surgery and they had told me nothing supplied, so I had brought a cotton cami that would fit by stepping in, to wear home. I did purchase a snap front cotton type bra for use later, probably try after the drains are out.

    Good luck to everyone in the treatments and recovery. Lisa RX: Wow, now that is SOME hair.... good to see that someone has hair starting.

  • petey111
    petey111 Member Posts: 157
    edited March 2018

    Sara - I'm sorry you are still not feeling well. I've been really dragging the last two days. I was hoping to start rebounding a bit, but I feel almost worse. I don't know if there is a crash of coming off of chemo or not, but if there is, I'm on it. Take care of those calves in this cold weather! We had a taste of spring this weekend and then a winter storm yesterday. :-( Stupid March weather.

    Agatha - I hope all went well yesterday!! I hope your shuttle ride was ok and that they didn't decide to push you down 1st ave! LOL I ended up calling my MO and running things by her and she agreed with the RO, so I decided to leave it the way it was. If those two both agreed to not radiate the super clavical, then that's good enough for me.

    2brandy - How far out are you from your last treatment? And yup, I struggled to open my can of doubleshot coffee this morning!!

    Lisa - Sounds like you are healing ok. That's good. I hope you got a step down in drugs. I'm glad to hear you can do Nioxin. I was going to ask about Biotin, Nioxin, Rogaine... I keep getting compliments about my complexion too. And my skin is very smooth. Of course, they also say I look tan, which is because of the darkening spots all on my face from the chemo...but oh well. I hope your foobs get better as the swelling goes down. I know my SIL got switched to a bra yesterday that she said would help give her two boobs instead of uniboob, but mostly she was glad to get this new fancy wound vac off of her that they had on. She looked awfully good when I saw her after surgery, I'd be very curious to see what she has going on now. (Hope that's not too weird a thing!) I know I need to walk...I need to muster up the energy. I don't sleep well right now and I hurt. :-( But if I can get my butt on the treadmill, maybe that will all help. Now I read your second post...glad you are doing better!! I think that the docs worry that if we have a "clean" scan, we think we are in the clear forever. I don't know that they understand, once you've had cancer, you will never again think that you are "in the clear".

    DKK - My SIL had spots too and she was told they would "watch" them. I don't know what that means. I assume there has to be a follow up scan at some point right? For your peace of mind, I would definitely ask!

    Jennifer - Those all sound like things my SIL ordered and used. She got a wedge style system she put on a spare bed (hers was too tall) and that helped her. Maybe you could rig up a system somehow on the chair to make it easier to put the feet up and down....I'm not handy though, so I don't know what that would be!! I think you are preparing well.

    I didn't check in the last couple of days. Monday I was busy and then yesterday I felt like pooh most of the day. I don't feel great so far today either, but at least I don't have to go to chemo!! My hands are still so numb and my feet are a bit too. I'm exhausted and not sleeping well. I thought about looking into "detoxing" after chemo, but the Dana Farber page says the chemo drugs are really only in your system for a couple of days, so it's not like there are still chemicals to pull out. Is anyone taking any vitamins or anything special to help them rebound? I'm doing B6 for the neuropathy. And what about hair growth, what's been ok'd by your MOs?

    As far as my radiation, the family friend nurse I talked to suggested that I start with my MO. I trust her a lot and even if she didn't have an opinion, she could run it by her partners or by the breast conference board that meets weekly here in our metro area. (Sort of weird to think that both my SIL and me would be talked about at that meeting this week!) In any case, she said she wouldn't do the radiation to that are due to the concerns of the side effects. Of course, I could get a second opinion if I wanted, but I decided if they both thought that, then why go get a third. That would just stress me out more if the third opinion said something different! LOL So, I'll stick with my eccentric radiologist and my appt. on the 15th.

    I think I might go lie down for a bit. Two nights ago, our house alarm (which was actually not armed and is not hooked up to a service) went off for no apparent reason at midnight. It went off again around 5:30 pm last night despite being unplugged. Apparently, there was a battery in it though. Then last night, our tv in our bedroom turned on at 1 a.m. for no reason and wouldn't turn back off. We had to unplug it. We have a serious poltergeist around her. I had bizarre dreams...like I was drowning and other weird ones... I'm tired from going to bed. I'm hoping if I take a nap now, I'll feel better.

    Hopefully, everyone else is hanging in there!!

  • Joyseeker
    Joyseeker Member Posts: 247
    edited March 2018

    Good morning beautiful ladies. Today is four weeks since my last chemo. I saw my MO yesterday. I start tamoxifen today. I also started Rads this week. I am done 4/21. I’m wondering about a few symptoms. I still have a fuzzy kind of full head with a tiny bit of ear ringing. I had this during chemo but it’s taking a long time to resolve. Anyone else have a funny head a few weeks out of chemo?

    My Mo said to me yesterday that she will not follow up with my. She considered me cancer free and no need to see her. I will see another dr in the cancer clinic for follow up. She used the word “cured” as well as encouraged my to be hopeful and focus on things like diet and exercise. I have a meeting with the pharmacist about T and a port flush today after I get back from my radiation road trip. Here words were reassuring but also terrifying. The end of treatment is challenging.

    I love hearing about those of you finishing treatment and moving on to the next stages. Inspiring!

  • 2brandy
    2brandy Member Posts: 32
    edited March 2018

    Hi Ladies,

    Congratulations Tri-Lady for finishing chemo. It's quite an accomplishment!

    Agatha - good news on successful surgery.

    Lisa - awesome head of hair - what is the stuff you are taking that helps with hair growth? I'm 2 months PFC and don't have near that much. Been taking Biotin.

    MamaFelice - glad you are resting well after your surgery.

    Hiker - hope you are still doing well and staying positive.

    Good luck to all the ladies starting radiation.



  • Tewks
    Tewks Member Posts: 79
    edited March 2018

    tri-lady, congrats on your last chemo! I see you're from NJ...me too. Im halfway through radiation and doing proton. Have you looked into it? Supposedly much safer for BC than traditional. Just tossing it out there...

    Everyone else, congratulations on all the wonderful progress you all are making. So many success stories!I've not posted much because either we've had no internet after two blizzards or because I'm just so tired and so done with thinking about dumb cancer that I don't feel much like talking about it anymore. I'm so fed up with people telling me what a great attitude I have, how strong I am, blah, blah, blah...

    You all seem to be so upbeat...how the heck do you keep up the attitude?? I'm not crying or anything like that, I just do the radiation like I've been told and then go into "don't talk to me about it" mode. I don't think I'm a very pleasant person to be around right now...

    My RO says it's just post chemo fatigue and once I'm done with radiation and winters over I'll start to feel more like going out, doing things and being myself again. And having barely any hair after four months PFC really has me down too.

    Even though I'm supposedly cancer free right now I just feel like I'm going to be a cancer patient forever. Does this never go away??? Or should I just resign myself to being in some sort of cancer free limbo from now on, going from one scan to another, waiting for the other shoe(boob) to drop??? I feel like I'm in mourning for my old self, I feel like the real me is gone and I don't know who the new me is yet.

    Clue me in please? My BIL's a shrink and he keeps telling me how remarkably well I'm doing. Why don't I feel like that? I'd love to be as positive as you all seem to be!!

    Thanks for the collective shoulders...


  • peoy
    peoy Member Posts: 48
    edited March 2018

    Tewks - I like your write-up. You are so cynically funny!

    Tri-Lady - congrats on finishing chemo. You must feel utterly relieved. I'm 24 days post chemo and I'm 90% back to normal.

    Lisa - thanks for the list of things to bring to hospital

    Agatha - saw your "pink pockets" and tried to order but they don't ship to Singapore. After which my friend sew this pouch to hold the drains. I'm sure it's gonna be useful. Surgery 15Mar.

    image

  • tri-lady7
    tri-lady7 Member Posts: 95
    edited March 2018

    Thank you so much to all!! Feels good to be done!

    Tweks- yes I am from south jersey will be going to MD Anderson for radiation. I asked the RO about protonbut he said not for early stage. May I ask where you go? I think every doctor seems so different in what they say. I too am done with this whole cancer thing. I struggle now with how to deal with the future and the fear of recurrence. Will I worry about this forever! I'm trying so hard not to think about it but must admit I think about it a lot. I even went on lexapro to help with the anxiety so I completely understand.

    Poey- glad to hear that you are feeling almost back to normal! Wishing you good luck with your upcoming surgery.

    Today I am enjoying my day off because of the nor'easter yesterday!

  • littlebee72
    littlebee72 Member Posts: 19
    edited March 2018

    So, my last chemo was January 28th and within the last few weeks my joints have become very stiff and painful. My ankles hurt when I stand and walk, my hips hurt and ache (it is hard to sit at my desk job), my hands are swollen, stiff and achy (I can hardly close them at times) and I am generally feeling like I am 80 years old. Is anyone else going through this and does it get better over time??

  • Tewks
    Tewks Member Posts: 79
    edited March 2018

    trilady, that's a new comment about proton I'd not heard before. I didn't realize it's not appropriate for early stage, and I'm curious about that. I also am not familiar with MD Anderson, but wish you tons of luck anyhow. Radiation is such a breeze compared to chemo. I did not do well with that at all, and I do envy those who got through it in one piece. For rads I'm going to ProCure. Usually I mute any drug or pharma TV ads but this is one I didn't and when I learned more about them and asked my MO she said Absolutely! Go for it! The only reason she hadn't recommended it on her own was because she thought I'd have to drive to Philly. Turns out one of their main facilities in the US is here in NJ, close to Somerset, just 20 minutes from me. They're all incredibly nice people, the ROs, nurses, techs, the entire staff. And patients come from all over the world...France, Ukraine, Israel. I just hope it all works cuz I can't do chemo ever again; side effects nearly killed me so this and Femara and that Great Master Plan are the only cards I have left.
    And I've managed to get through it all with the help and relief of my dear friend Xanax.
    Little bee I do hope you're feeling some relief soon! I know that joint pain and swelling were some of my side effects(they were the minor ones) but I think I got relief from OTC meds. Some days I, too, feel like I'm 80 because of the fatigue and joint pains, and then other days I feel so back to normal that I can hardly believe any of this has really happened.
    Meantime, there are so many people in my neighborhood who haven't had power since the first blizzard last Friday, so I'm going to be thankful for heat and water and other small favors and go make some braided challah.
    Keep recovering everyone!

  • petey111
    petey111 Member Posts: 157
    edited March 2018

    Tewks - I can totally relate to your feelings. I feel so frustrated right now that I don't feel great. I don't feel like I'll ever be the same. I try to put on a "brave face", but the fact that I've spent the last three days on my couch on my computer tell you I'm not doing great. I don't know what we do right now, but just get through it and hope that we will feel better down the road.

    littlebee - I'm only a week out and I feel some similar things. I'm sure it will go away, but that's not very helpful is it?

  • Tewks
    Tewks Member Posts: 79
    edited March 2018
    petey-- yes, it does help. It helps me, anyhow, just to know I'm not the only inmate in this asylum, and that's a big relief. So thanks for that! Stay on that couch for as long as you need, this is probably the one time in your life you can get away with it, right?
    Since I was diagnosed I've told very few people and have been carrying this secret around for almost 18 months now. Maybe in hindsight that wasn't such a smart idea but at least I don't get the dreaded "you poor dear" looks I've heard so much about. One good friend did say "welcome to the sisterhood you don't want to belong to," and I keep thinking how right she was.
    So, here I am; here we are; this must be the famous "new normal" and once again, thanks for the time and place to vent and share privately...all without the looks and the judgement calls.
    This site and all of you really do help...I feel better already, and soon so will everyone else.
    Happy International Women's Day!!
  • AgathaNYC
    AgathaNYC Member Posts: 317
    edited March 2018

    HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY to all you wonderful, strong women!

    LisaRx - your hair is glorious! I am so envious. I still look like Tweety Bird: all bald with a few random hairs that are over an inch long.

    HikerVA - sounds like you have an excellent pillow set-up. I've been able to figure out the right combination of throw pillows to put under my surgery arm to make myself very comfortable for sleeping. Glad I sprung for the wedge but didn't need any other special support pillows. Keep up the good work healing.

    Petey - no, I was too boring to get rolled down York Avenue on a gurney. There was a cute little hospital mini-SUV waiting right outside the doors to drive my friend and me down to the surgery building. I wish you were feeling better overall but I'm glad to hear that you are satisfied with your radiation plan after speaking with your MO. Don't push yourself or be too hard on yourself for being down. It's natural to have some off days given what we're going through. Is it still too cold in Minnesota to go outside for a walk? Fresh air and sunshine do help, even just a short burst of it. It's funny about your house "talking" to you lately. Take it as a sign it's trying to cheer you on :-) Next to my bed is my great-grandparent's pendulum clock. The spring is broken and it hasn't worked in years, but it's pretty and I like it. It reminds me of my late father and grandfather who would always lovingly wind it. Last week, out of the blue it gonged - it'd been silent for years! I like to think it was just a little reminder from my father and grandfather that they were still on my side :-)

    Joyseeker - good, good luck with the new treatments. How are they going? I can empathize with the challenging feelings you are having. Of course it's amazing that your MO told you you are CURED, but now you're a little cast adrift, right? That's how I felt after chemo ended (without the amazing "cured" part) Hopefully you will bond with the radiation crew and still feel supported by them. Since I'm TN I don't really know anything about Tamoxifen treatment. How long does it last? Are there suspected side effects?

    Tewks - I think all of us have both upbeat and dark days. I can't imagine that I'll ever feel like I'm free from cancer, even if I am declared cancer free by my doctors. It changes us. I hope you don't feel any pressure from your friends or family to put on a brave or happy face. That's exhausting if it's not how your really feel any given day. You're still actively doing treatments and you are allowed to feel a little "over it." (at least that's how I feel about it)

    Peoy - one week to surgery! Good luck! What a nice friend you have that made you that little apron. That looks perfect.

    TriLady - i asked my RO about proton radiation, too. She told me that her department doesn't prescribe that for breast cancer. I hope whatever radiation we all are getting does what it's supposed to and kills any lurking cancer cells!

    LittleBee - I'm 4 weeks out from my last chemo and while i don't have the same joint pain you do, my hands feel similar. My neuropathy in hands and feet keeps getting a little worse each day. I have my follow up appt with my MO next week. I'm going to ask her about Rx nerve medication.

    STAY STRONG everyone!


  • Jennifer522
    Jennifer522 Member Posts: 194
    edited March 2018

    Congrats Tri-Lady on finishing Chemo. I am down to my last one in 11 days.

    I had a breast MRI on Wednesday. I so want to see the results but they don't post any imagining results to online chart for 16 days. I see my BS next week, so that will be the soonest I can see the results. I was doing fine but last night the anxiety over what the results could be kept me up. Just trying to keep positive that chemo is working and those cancer cells are dead and nothing in my lymph nodes!

    I stopped using the Nioxin after a few times. Dummy me forgot to check the ingredients before I bought it. Anything that has sulfates in it (95% of hair care products) irritates a patch of psoriasis I have on my scalp. Of course with chemo, I have not had a flare up since chemo kills all those overactive skin cells. After I heal from BMX, I want to go to dermatologist to talk about it. I know its genetic and my mom has it too. Anyone want 2 large (33 oz) bottles of #2 Nioxin, send me a message and I will mail them to you.

    Loving the good news Lisa, Agatha and Joyseeker!

    Petey-how is your SIL recovering?

    I saw Lisa's post on the surgery site and it was so helpful of what to expect. Thank you! With a small child at home, if they offer me a 2nd night in the hospital I would probably take it, as crazy as it sounds. As long as I was getting sleep there.

    Tewks-so many people don't know about my cancer. Family and a couple of close friends. Sometimes I think I will just post it on facebook but other times if makes me nervous to share so much person health info. It can get lonely living with this and all that is in my head.

  • LisaCincy
    LisaCincy Member Posts: 316
    edited March 2018

    Oh, I'm so glad to hear that other ladies have been struggling. Even though I've known since Monday that my pathology report was really great news, I still hadn't allowed myself to celebrate or even feel happy. Quite the contrary. I was actually somber. When people congratulated me, I felt numb, almost like a fraud. I'd been liberated, but couldn't allow myself to celebrate my new freedom because I really didn't believe in my heart that I was done with cancer.

    But, yesterday, on the road to meet with my BS, providence stepped in. I found myself listening to an interview on NPR with Diane von Furstenberg, the famous clothing designer. They were interviewing her in honor of International Women's Day. When asked who inspired her, here is what Diane had to say:

    "Well my mother, clearly, I mean my mother was a young girl of 22 when she was arrested in occupied Belgium, and was shipped to a concentration camp. She spent 13 months between Auschwitz and another camp. And when she was finally found at the end of the war, she weighed 49 pounds. But she survived, and soon later she got married, and she wasn't supposed to have a child, and then I was born. And she always taught me that fear is not an option, and no matter what happens to you, you should never be a victim. So I am a fruit of a survivor who never wanted to be a victim."

    Here is this woman, who faced incredibly bad odds. She lived for 13 months in an environment that should have crushed her body, if not her soul. But she survived, and thrived. Because she didn't give in to fear!

    A half hour later, my BS walked in to her office with a huge grin on her face. She handed my the biopsy report and confirmed that I'd had PCR. She then declared that my prognosis was "fantastic." And I realized that I had two paths in front of me: I could model myself after Diane's mom and and go celebrate with my family, or I could continue to let fear overwhelm me and ruin that wonderful day.

    And so we celebrated.


    Fear is not an option. We are not victims.

    Petey, get the hell off that couch and go do something fun!

    http://www.wbur.org/hereandnow/2018/03/08/diane-vo...


  • Tewks
    Tewks Member Posts: 79
    edited March 2018

    wow. Just wow.

    Lisa, I wasn’t on the couch when I read this, I was still in bed but I’m up and dressed now, going to put on makeup, choose a wig and go out and get that list of errands taken care of.

    To all of you/us who’ve listened to my venting and have been so right there with each other, thank you all for sharing your feelings, your fears and tears and smiles and joys...we are not victims! None of us are and let’s promise that we never will be. Instead, we are strong and we will overcome.

    Let us all choose that path of strength and keep ourselves and each other on it!

    I’m off to the grocery now, my kids will be here this weekend and I’m going to make Guinness Stew, shepherds pie, Irish soda bread and grasshopper pie with Irish coffee for dessert.

    Thank you Lisa! Congratulations! And I hope everyone continues to feel better


  • AgathaNYC
    AgathaNYC Member Posts: 317
    edited March 2018

    Lisa, Thanks for the story from DVF. I had never heard anything about her mother. It does definitely put things in perspective.

    I have a question for you guys who've had surgery. How soon after surgery did you start massaging your scars (if you did) to help smooth out the scar tissue? A couple of years ago I got 12 stitches on my forehead from a dumb fall on the sidewalk. Massaging that scar really helped it heal well. Somehow I'm much more nervous with these scars.

    Thanks!

  • petey111
    petey111 Member Posts: 157
    edited March 2018

    Tweks - I am glad it helps a bit! And you are right we need to keep each other strong. (PS Your Irish meal sounds awesome!)

    Agatha - That story almost made me cry. I know it was a message from your loved ones! It reminds me of the Grandfather clock song that my mom and I used to sing all the time.

    Tri-Lady - I think I might have missed saying congrats on being done! It's a good feeling right??

    Jennifer - I know you will get good news! My SIL is recovering really, really well. In fact, my mother-in-law left them alone yesterday and went home. My SIL folded a tiny bit of laundry and cut up her own veggies for lunch. She held her 18 month old on her lap a few times too. The doctors appts went well this week. The PS even considered taking out the drains, but decided to leave them until next week. She is on the fast track to recovery.

    Lisa - Stories like that certainly do put it in perspective right?? I got the hell off the couch! I went to OT and then had coffee with my MIL. Later, I'm going to take my son to get his hair cut and my wig trimmed. I'll likely try to pick up around the main level today too and do some laundry. Generally try to be a bit more active!!

    My body feels sluggish today, but I'm trying to not let that stop me! I sat and had coffee with my MIL and will go out for a bit and also try to clean. I'm going to be more productive today!!

  • petey111
    petey111 Member Posts: 157
    edited March 2018

    Jennifer - I forgot to say that my SIL got to stay a second night in the hospital and was super glad for it. Though they were ready to go home the next day...if nothing else to get more uninterrupted sleep!