Starting chemo February 2018
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lolette19-I was one of those who did everything healthy. Vegetarian, run and exercised daily. Never smoked, an aoccasional glass of wine. Even though I have cancer; I dont regret my healthy lifestyle. I do believe it has helped me deal with my surgeries and Chemo. The only days I dont run are my Chemo days. Exercise keeps me focused and happy. I work 6 days a week as an OT. As soon as I arrive home from work, I take care of my pets. Then I put on my running shoes and Im out the door. Each person needs to do what is best for them. Im not coordinated, so Zumba is out. My MO informed me from day one that he didn't care if my house was a mess, overgrown yard, etc. The only thing he wanted from me was to exercise 45 minutes to an hour daily and dringk 2 quarts of water or gatorade daily. There are days I don't feel like running or power walking or drinking water that tastes like metal but I push on. I continue to get a lot of information and inspiration from these threads. None of this is easy.
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Hi ladies! Day#2 after my first taxol - So far I just feel a bit tired, but no nausea. I am waiting for a worse SE To start...the waiting as I don't know what's coming is hard. Let's see what tomorrow brings. I'll report more tomorrow.
22fightfor - hang in there! I know the last couple days before infusion are hard but you have the right spirit! Come Thursday Put on your pink v-neck shirt with enthusiasm - your super hero outfit - because that's what you are a super hero! We all are! We are strong, we are brave, we are facing our energy and we are winning! 💪
JO - my MO is Schwartz too! What a small world! My plastic surgeon is Rosenbaum and surgical oncologist Paramo. I'm very happy with them too!
Indahood - Hang in there! You will soon be over your last infusion SEs and things will look much better. You will be able to celebrate the completion of one of your steps. Chemo as we all know is NOT easy! It is tough and you beat it! You finished it! You are an inspiration to us all who are still going through it. You need to give yourself time to celebrate this accomplishment! Then move on to face step 3 & 4. You too are a super hero!
About exercise - I’ve been walking and it makes me feel great. I haven’t been doing much else...except run after my kids (which I consider exercise 😄). I am thinking about increasing my exercise level though. There’s a small idea that’s growing in my mind - im thinking about starting to work towards training for a half marathon. Now, I will need to slowly get myself to that level - this is probably a year away but it all starts with a thought. Now I need to inform myself of what I’ll need to do to get to that level of fitness and then work towards it slowly. It’s been so long I’ve set a goal for myself (I’m usually busy with making sure everyone else is ok - kids, hubby, sisters, parents, etc). I haven’t focused on ME and I think this BC journey has shown me I need to carve a bit of time out for myself.
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Rockcity, I definitely was not the normal with my se's from perjeta, I think you'll do just fine but if ithe D starts at all takes your immodium right awsy. I am doing round 4 of 6 this Thursday and am totally bummed about it, sick of feeling sick too and have felt pretty ok the last few days hate to think I'm voluntarily making myself sick again, grrrrf. Seems like we're all getting a bit weary with it all but we can do this, we have to do this. Hope the rest of you getting treatment this week do alright. I'll check in after mine.
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Congrats inthehood for being all done with chemo! Seems like many of us are just a bit down right now as we go through this tunnel and someone having navigated through to the other side gives so much hope.
Moth more excellent info for all of us. I try to walk everyday but some days it easier than others for sure. I make my self walk to my mail box most days. It is about a 1/4 mile all down hill to the box so of course that means all up hill and I mean a steep hill coming back so about 1/2 mile a day.
Thanks to all who are keeping us update on the taxol SEs love how very careful the nurses and doctors are in how they word things. I keep hearing most but not all find taxol easier. Hope we all fall into that most catagory.
Today was port number 3 day. This was done by a completely different Doctor and is a totally different type of port. They took out the port from my upper chest area left side and the new one is on the right side. The old port already had a lot of scar tissue and was more difficult to remove than anticipated. The new port actually has two cuts a tiny one at my the base of my neck and a second just above the collar bone about an inch to inch and half below the first much smaller cut. I am pretty bruised all ready turning black, especially where they took the old one out. Not to painful tylenol is keeping the pain where I can handle it.
The crazy part was them having trouble with of all things at first my picc line did not want to work. I was in tears but they finally got it working the whole idea of picc lines and ports is you don't have to have so many needle sticks and a better vein along with less scar tissue in the veins for the chemo, in my case that just has not happened. Hoping this new port finally fulfills that premise and I get fewer needle sticks and less other issues. First taxol a week from this coming Friday so will know very soon.
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Hi all,
I'm getting ready for my last infusion this Thursday. Feeling scared as usual just thinking about it. I'm usually bed ridden for at least 4 days, so exercise is completely out of the question. Last round I spent an hour getting my son ready for school and it triggered SE of extreme fatigue, heavy breathing, that lasted for most of the day. Can't imagine an hour workout every day if walking around the house did that.
I want to thank you all for sharing your good wishes and your down moments. I know exactly what some of you mean when you say I've had it with the SE, I just want this to stop! Other people are supportive butdon't really understand what that's like and it can make me feel very alone. Then I read your posts and I know two things. I'm not alone and I will get through this! Feel the fear and do it anyway!
Moth- thanks for the excellent video, despite what I've said above it's inspired me to excersise whenever possible. My doctors never discussed it, so I had no idea of it's importance.
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Hi ladies! I finally got my wig in the mail! I was so happy when I put it on that I cried (happy tears). I love my wig! I’m going to wear it out this morning. Here is a picture.
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Ambert, hope this port works out for you. It sounds like mine, small cut higher on base of my neck, bigger scar lower on my chest and I had a lot of bruising also. Again hope this one is the answer for you!
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pbello- great wig. It looks great on you. I have 2 10ks scheduled for May and June. My biggest concern is the heat. Yesterday evening I definitely felt the humidity. It was 87 degrees and humid as hell. Its great you are consideriing a half marathon. I would prefer training for a half-marathon than chasing after small children. LOL I have tremendous admiration for parents with small children.
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Pbello - you're gorgeous! The wig suits you very well!
I had bloodwork & an check up with my MO today. Platelets are too low (& my neutrophils aren't great either but at least they're in the acceptable chemo range). I'll have to repeat bloods tomorrow and if they're still low, my final AC will be delayed a week again. I was bummed because I've felt so good. Round 3 AC was smooth sailing for me and I've felt great. Apparently my bone marrow disagreed lol
He's also recommended that given the challenges I had with dose dense AC, we should do weekly Taxol x 12 instead. I think that sounds like a good plan though it will cut into my summer plans. I'm really hoping for smooth sailing through Taxol0 -
hello ladies,
Pbello you look great! I bought a long hair wig and i went to Chipotle with it and I didn't like it because the hair from the wig kept going into my mouth. We went home to finish the dish so I could remove the wig.
Moth, I got my blood test too today for my Friday infusion (last AC) and my platelet are too low too! I need a second test on Friday but because my number is 90 instead of the minimum of 100, they think they will proceed with the infusion. I think I would not mind the extra week although it would mean far into July before ending my chemo treatment.
I have a job interview tomorrow at 7:30 am. It is for a school 10 min max from my home. I would really like to work at that school but I am quite pessimistic by nature and experience. I have applied countless times for this school district and a lot of times got the interview but it always failed. I am pretty sure it is because of my English and my lack of self-confidence. And let's face it I have had a lot of bad luck recently between the cancer and my future separation. We have a say in French that is "never 2 without 3" which means when you face 2 things similar, a third one is also coming. Oh well, if I don't get the job, at least I'll be less stressed with juggling a full time teaching job with radiation and recovery from surgery.
Amburt, I hope the third port is the good one!
Walden, are you done with taxol? That is great! Congratulations! Could you please let me know if you had side effects from taxol and which one? I am desperate to get rid of my super smelly sense. I want to enjoy again drinking water as it is my main source of hydration and currently the smell of the tap water makes me puke, literally. I have to plug my nose when I use the tap. I drink water coming from the fridge but this water is not easy to drink either.
Take care ladies.
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Oh lolette, je ne savais pas que tu es une française! where do you live? Up here in British Columbia and Alberta there is a severe shortage of French Immersion teachers and aides. Who knows maybe you can become a Canadian. ;-) Bonne chance avec ton interview! I am a French Immersion teacher, 25 years now, getting ready to retire in the next 5 years.
indahood
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Moth, thanks for the video and the uplifting words. I'm climbing out of the hole today, was able to walk the dogs and the weather is nice, which is so helpful. Darn bloodwork, isn't it amazing that sometimes when you feel shitty, your bloodwork is fine and other times when you feel great, apparently you're not. Such a guessing game this Cancer ride.
Pbello, Amburt, Walden and all you others who heard me a few days ago, thanks for letting me vent. Living alone with no family members around makes it tough to find places to let off steam and I tend to internalize shit and then feel down. It's so good to be able to vent here and to have people I know get it, hear me. Walden thanks for giving me the permission to vent with your comments about how our shared negative feelings too make this forum a better healing place. I agree! sometimes I offer advice but your comment reminded me sometimes it's just better to listen and validate.
indahood
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pbello- your wig looks very pretty and natural on you. Your smile is priceless. Go out and feel beautiful!
Amburt- hopefully this is your final port!
Laurie- chemo is the nastiest part of this treatment. Know that every day you are getting the side effects out of your system for good.
Deb- I have to say your experience with Perjeta certainly has me concerned and weighed on my decision to give it a try. My MO did not prescribe it originally and only talked to me about it after I brought it up to her after tmy first TCH treatment. She felt that it is a modest benefit for something that can be so rough on your stomach. I’m just had to fusion four and decided to give it a try, knowing I can quit if it’s too much to handle. I had gotten a second opinion on my treatment plan a few weeks ago and that MO said he would have put me on it and it’s still worth trying even at this point. My last three infusions have left me constipated. Maybe the Perjeta will balance it out and I will be fine?🙂 I know. Let me live the dream until the symptoms kick in. Good luck with your round 4 tomorrow. We’re getting there...
Day 2 always feels so good. Waiting for fun times to kick in soon. Hope the rest of you ladies continue to feel better and wish the best for everyone’s chemo coming up the next two days
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Laurie, je suis belge francophone. J'habite en Virginie. It is funny but just before i stopped working I was teaching French to the Canadian military at the Canadian Embassy in DC. I didn't know that you were teaching in a French immersion setting. The world is small☺. I could not live in Canada, it is too cold although my students told me that BC is beautiful.
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indiahood- there is nothing wrong with sharing negative feelings. One of the best things about this forum is the ability to share about positive and negative experiences. Sometimes when a person is having a really bad day it's nice to have validation from a person who's been there.
Lolette- good luck with your job interview.
Amburt- best of luck with your third port and may this one work. You have been through so much.
Moth-good luck with your labs. Hopefully your platelets and neutrophils will be in the acceptable range for chemo.
What exactly is dose-dense AC? What is the difference from taxol and taxotere?
Best of luck to all of you who are going through chemo this week? May your side effects be minimal.
Thanks to all of you for sharing.
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lolotte19,
Yes I finished Taxol (paxlitaxol). My experience was mixed. It was much easier on my system in general. I had very little side effects, and fatigue compared wth AC. Unfortunately I was allergic to it. It is very common to have an allergic reaction during the treatment. They typically get control of that with extra premeds and can complete the treatment. I was one of the rare cases that had a reaction during treatment and again several days later. The medications that normally work to prevent that didn't work for me. My doctor canceled the fourth treatment due to concern that the moderate reaction could progress to severe when I was at home. That a side, I generally did very well on Taxol with good energy levels, and only minor neuropathy in my big toe that has now gone away.
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Hi Laides! You guys are too kind!! Thank you so much for the complements. I wore it out to Publix and felt pretty good. Lolotte, I can see wigs can become a problem when eating. I’ll have to watch out for that too!
Lolotte - good luck on your job interview. Confidence is important. Walk in like you own the place, like you own your resume - because you do. Show them how valuable you are. Highlight what you can bring to their school.
AMburt - I hope this new port works out for you! I’ll be praying it does. 🙏You’ve been through enough port issues!
Jo6359 - wow! May and June 10ks! That’s awesome! I hope I’ll get to your fitness level sometime soon. I agree, the Miami heat can become quite umbearable.
Moth & lolotte - hope your counts increase so you can go forward with your infusions this week.
Indahood - vent on! We all need to vent sometimes and this forum is the perfect place. We are all here for you!
Rockcity - I’m waiting to see what tomorrow brings too! With AC tomorrow (day 4 was the start of my bad day...let’s see what Taxol brings). Hope you don’t have much SEs.
Today was ok. No nausea. I was tired, but couldn’t sleep. Last night I kept waking up every couple hours and today I tried napping and again couldn’t sleep more than 30 minutes at a time. Hope tonight I get some sleep. I’m exhausted
Hugs!
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Hi all,
I’m posting again with a new topic for you. I’m planning a mastectomy without reconstruction in 3 weeks. Have any of you chosen the same surgery option? My surgeon says my breast would be too deformed to do a lumpectomy
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Hi all,
I'm full of posts, anyone experience a change in blood pressure? Mine went from 120/80 to 107/76. Still considered normal, but wondering if this is common and when it would become concerning. My doctor is not concerned, but I find she only reacts when something is very serious.
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Hi Walden- My blood pressure has gone up a bit too high on chemo. I’ve talked to the nurses and my MO about it. They said that it’s common for some to go up and some to go down. They look for trends. I wish I had your blood pressure right now. That said if it keeps dropping or you start to feel lightheaded I would talk to your MO. It never hurts to get all of your questions answered by an authority
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hi Walden1, my BP also dropped same range as yours. I thought I would need a mastectomy but surgeon said lumpectomy is enough. When I got my head into mastectomy i was also thinking about immediate reconstruction without implant although hospital stay would have been longer.
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lolotte19-what location is your tumor? Upper quadrant or lower
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HI Walden, your second question is timely since this morning I had my infusion with blood pressure taken prior. I was also always 120/80 consistent, but today I was 133/60. The nurse was completely unconcerned, when I brought up the numbers she just asked it I felt ok- and I do. But I might bring it up to my onc when I see him next, just to find out at what point we worry about this. Sorry not too helpful, but I wanted to let you know you’re not alone with the different blood pressure numbers, and nobody at my center thought it was reason for concern today either.
Pbello I love the wig, it looks great on you, and you look so happy! Amburt here’s to hoping the third port is the golden one. Laurie I hope today is finding you feeling in good spirits. When I was feeling down a couple nights ago I found it so comforting to be able to shout out to this group for understanding and maybe a little sympathy.
Does anyone else feel the pressure to constantly be so upbeat, like we have to be the biggest cheerleaders? I never tell any of my family or friends how I'm really feeling at times- scared, anxious, a little pissed off. I am generally a positive and happy person, lessons hard won over the years and took to heart. I also know that a great attitude is so important to help in healing, especially with this challenge, so I strive to keep it front and center. But this whole medical scare leads my mind to dark places at times. I feel that everyone expects me to keep up the good warrior bit, and in the early stages of this I shared this outlook wholeheartedly, and even named myself 22fightfor. But it’s wearing on me and I’m not sure how to start being real with the people in my life, or if I should. My family expects me to put up a good fight, and my kids are definitely my biggest motivator to get healthy. (I would never share any dark thoughts with them). My dear friends are great and so incredibly supportive, so I don’t want to repay all of their great kindnesses with being Debbie Downer, so I’m always upbeat. I know that when people hear negativity they tend to stay away, and that’s the last thing I want as that would make me feel worse. Just wondering if any of you lovelies have shared these feelings and can tell me how you cope with it.
My good news is that today with the third infusio I’m halfway done with chemo, and I’m feeling very happy about that. I think quite a few of our Feb. group are having their infusions today and tomorrow, so I’m hoping for an easy infusion day and minimal side effects for you all. Hugs.
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I love the wig too Pbello!
22fightfor- it’s funny you asked that. I’ve been reading the posts all week but haven’t been participating because I’ve been having one of my worst weeks emotionally. I was sick and thought they were going to delay chemo, then they did an ultrasound because my liver counts keep going up and my liver was fine but there were other issues so I was starting to regret doing chemo, and I’m getting super nervous about my exchange surgery when chemo ends. I’m in a better place now (and had chemo as scheduled) but seeing other people here express their dark times and worries has helped me feel validated- although I hate that you all are experiencing it, I thank you for sharing! I do find that I have to stay upbeat all the time and when I do express any frustration, everyone except my husband tries to put a positive spin on it and I feel shut down. My husband is the only one who doesn’t but I hate to take all my pent up negativity out on him, so I started seeing a therapist at my cancer center. She’s been great about helping me feel normal and (again) validated.
Good luck to all of you! Hope your treatments are going well this week and hope side effects are minimal! I’m glad we have a place to both vent and lift each other up.
Oh and thanks to Jo and Moth, you have motivate me to plan to run a 5k in the fall and start training. I really need to be exercising when I can and having a goal will help me. Thanks for your inspiration!
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22fightfor - I hear you. It's tough to be continually be upbeat. Breast cancer is exhausting and scary. This is a battle we never planned on Cancer suddenly makes us suddenly wonder how long we have to live. Stuff I've never questioned before. I think it's hard to confide in most people our fears of this. How do friends respond? It’s awkward, uncomfortable, scary and makes them wonder if it will happen to them. If they get scared, they may retreat. I have a friend who when I told I had breast cancer, she said “My Aunt died of breast cancer. You need positivity- let’s go to the movies! Not too helpful. I wont even talk about cancer to her.
I noticed your are around the midpoint of chemo like I am. We’ve done so much already and it feels like there is so much more chemo to go.
The way I look at it, I’m not a warrior. I never asked for or imagined this would happen. The point is here we are. We don’t have to be brave, we just have to show up and do what we need to do. It takes some of the pressure off of trying to to be always upbeat when we actually feel like crying. Just show up, do your treatment and be yourself. No one can ask for more.
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HI Walden, this is timely since just this morning I just had my every three week infusion and had blood pressure done before that. I was also always 120/80 consistent. Today I was 133/60. So weird, but they were completely unconcerned, when I brought it up to ask if that was a worry the nurse just asked it I felt ok (I do, thank God!) But I will ask my onc when I see him next, just to find out at what point this is a concern. Sorry I'm no help with the mastectomy, as so far I've been told I'll be getting a lumpectomy. This is pending genetic testing that I'm awaiting results on. It could change everything if it's positive, and I might need a mastectomy. This will mean a steep learning curve, just like every other aspect of this journey.
Pbello I love the wig, it looks great on you, and you look so happy! Amburt here's to hoping the third port is the golden one. Laurie I hope today is finding you feeling in good spirits. When I was feeling down a couple nights ago I found it so comforting to be able to shout out to this group for understanding and maybe a little sympathy.
Does anyone else feel the pressure to constantly be so upbeat, like we have to be the biggest cheerleaders? I never tell any of my family or friends how I'm really feeling at times- scared, anxious, a little pissed off. I am generally a positive and happy person, lessons hard won and took to heart. I also know that a great attitude is so important to help in healing, so I strive to keep this front and center. But this whole medical scare leads my mind to the dark places at times. I feel that everyone expects me to keep up the good warrior bit, and in the early stages of this I shared this outlook wholeheartedly, and even named myself 22fightfor. But it's wearing on me and I'm not sure how to start being real with the people in my life. My family expects me to put up a good fight, and my kids are definitely my biggest motivator to get healthy. (I would never share any dark thoughts with them). My dear friends are great and so incredibly supportive, and I don't want to repay all of their great kindnesses with being Debbie Downer, so I'm always upbeat. I know that when people hear negativity they tend to stay away, and that's the last thing I want.
I think quite a few of our Feb. group have their infusions today and tomorrow so I'm wishing and praying for an easy infusion day and minimal side effects for you all.
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lovecanada- I don't feel the pressure to be constantly upbeat. Most of my friends are health care professionals and they tend to be very matter-of-fact and pragmatic about issues. And I pretty much have the same attitude. I tend to be very positive and upbeat about most things. For the past several days I've had to deal with severe rash on both of my arms with skin peeling and open sores. I know it's going to go away so I accept that. But when I showed it to my friends they just shrugged their shoulders and said "what's the big deal or. you know its not permenent". Part of me agrees yet occasionally it would be nice to hear yeah that sucks. When I'm feeling that I want a little sympathy and I'm not getting it I just usually tell my friends oh come on give me something. We all end up laughing. When it comes to my elderly parents, I will go to hell and back to keep them from knowing about the bad moments. They already worry enough. I guess most of us have that tendency to protect our loved ones from our bad moments.
Rockcity-you are so right. A lot of people just don't know how to deal with cancer. Some want to deal strictly with statistics and others want to pretend that it's no big deal and there isn't anything wrong. Finding the balance is the difficult part. I find my friends who don't work in healthcare are the ones who want to tell me about every friend or relative that they know who died from cancer. I usually tell them "I don't need this information right now". I need something more positive from you. Sometimes the individual will apologize, other times they become angry because they feel they're being supportive . Most of the time when I'm out with my friends, I want to forget about cancer and chemo. I want to hear about everything else going on in their lives and in the world. Anything other than cancer. I am fortunate because when I need to talk I have friends who will listen. These threads have been very beneficial. I learned so much from Reading posts from others who have experienced similar issues and are generous enough to share what has or has not worked for them.
Please do not give me too much credit for running 5 K's and 10 K's. I've been running for over 35 years. At 59 my speed isn't as it once was but I just enjoy running. I consistently Run 2 to 3. 5Ks every month even with chemo. Some of these runs are equivalent to a sliw jog but I'm just glad to be out there. 10K is my new goal. I was running 10 K's at the same time last year but now my body require adjustments due to BMX and chemo . Hopefully Round 4 5 & 6 of chemo won't knock me on my butt. I will never ever wear a wig again when I go running. LOL
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Hello ladies,
Walden1, my tumor is in my left breast, 3 o'clock. To the left of the nipple, a little up. When I started the treatment, it was touching the nipple.
22fightor: I feel that I should not complain either but I don't show an upbeat attitude. 1 week ago, when I wanted to stop, everyone was telling me that I was not reasonable and that I should continue. They are not in my body and they don't know what I feel! my sister keeps telling me that I am courageous but I am not. My brother keeps talking about his colleagues who had BC and who is still alive and working meaning shut your mouth and do the damn treatment and stop complaining (at least this is how I interpreted his comment). When I told my father that I have lost 10 kg since my diagnosis, he told me that it was a good thing. Yes I was overweight (not now anymore) but last week I lost a lot and I was worried and I don't need that kind of comment. My mom tried to judge me at some point and I told her frankly that I didn't need judgmental people, just someone to listen. My fake husband also told me that I have no other choice but to continue. frankly nobody understood me when I wanted to quit. Being on this forum helps me a lot too as I know others are going through what I am going through and I can read how they overcame their SE.
Ready for my last AC tomorrow. I hope my platelet number will be high enough to have it. I think that during the worse of time next week I will watch the 8 Harry Potter movies. I am quite a fan of this series and I am hoping that my liking the movies will be enough to overcome that weird and awful feeling I get after chemo.
Have a good evening everyone!
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My platelets went up & so I'm done with AC! Everything went fine but I'm so tired. We had to go early to repeat bloodwork and wait around for the results and then my first vein wasn't cooperating so they needed to start a second one. I'm going to eat, take my meds and go to bed.
In two weeks I start 12 weekly Taxols.
Lolotte - fingers crossed for your platelets.
About the "having to be cheery & optimistic & presenting a happy face all the time - screw that. If ever you get to be bitter and angry it's now. If other people can't handle that, too bad. This isn't fair. It sucks. It changes your life, it sucks a stupid amount of time and energy and money and causes us tons of worries, and we're allowed to be cranky about it.0 -
Moth congrats on being done with AC! Get some rest.and lolotte hope you get have urs tomorrow!
Walden.. as a RN the 2nd blood pressure Is the better one. Although both are perfectly normal .. I just wouldn't want it to go too low.
As for the being cheery part..fight like a girl thing.. part of me loves it when my friends and family cheer me on.. I mean you also don't want everyone being like. Ok .. this sucks all the time. But I found blogging about my feelings and what chemo is really like and putting it out there for everyone to see( or who ever wants to click) is really helpful. That way most everyone knows what I'm really going through so when I see them I don't have to relay it all and I get a little more empathy than the normal cheery" you look great " squad. I mean really.. I don't look great...haha. Today was the first day in 2weeks post chemo I got out with kids and enjoyed the day. ..it was a sunny 50 degrees out and it just felt nice to get outside and I had a little energy to play.
Btw pbello, love ur wig. It looks very natural! I hate mine, I wish I was more comfortable with it on, but it looks very puffy and just not me.. I might try to go back to salon to get it more thinned out.
Tomorrow I have an appt with my plastic surgeon ( I think I'm done with my fills for my reconstruction) and have my surgery date for my implants mid may. Love canada when is yours? I'm glad everything ended up okay! I'm always so nervous when I get my blood work.
Next Thurs is my last TC treatment, craziness.
Wishing everyone the best this week .
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