Starting chemo February 2018
Comments
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laurie- nice to hear from you. Sometimes I vacate these threads for a couple weeks at a time. Just to get a break from the cancer.. I had trigger thumbs and De Quervain syndrome( iveruse of thumb) prior to my cancer. Something I've had off and on for the past 10 years. I even had surgery on my left thumb about 8 years ago and a cortisone injection in the right. The steroids from the chemo took away all the pain from the trigger and the De Quervain's syndrome. Now that I'm 4 months post chemo the pain has returned with a vengeance. Being a therapist I've started wearing my splints again as well as icing the hand. If I'm unable to control it with rest icing and splinting I'll have to consider a cortisone injection again. Oh what fun.
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Hi laurie! Nice to see you again!
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congrats 22fightfor ! Your poem touched me deeply. You deserve the end of chemo.
I will do my radiation simulation on the 6th. Then 5 weeks of treatment. My moral is very low. I am officially separated and without my work I would fall into depression. I am living my second nightmare at the end of the first one. I guess things will be better in 2 years from now.
Cheers everyone!
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lolotte- I am so sorry you are going through so much. Cancer is difficult enough to go through without the additional burden of officially separating from your husband. I don't know of any words to make you feel better because time is probably the best medicine. I am thinking of you.
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hugs lolotte.
this all sucks big time but you're right - it will get better. One step at a time, one day at time. Hang in there.
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moth- my neuropathy in my left foot has worsened significantly during this past week and the arthritis pain in my right hand has worsened. I agree with you it's probably related to no longer receiving steroids. It's been four and a half months post chemo and I seem to have more side effects now that I did during chemo. Hopefully this too shall pass.
I'm having a difficult time sleeping tonight thinking about that horrific situation in Pittsburgh. My heart goes out to the Jewish community for the senseless loss of lives. Hate is never the answer.
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moth- I forgot to add my neuropathy is probably related to my herceptin and perjeta.
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hi jo - I didn't realize herceptin and perjeta can cause neuropathy as well. That sucks. Are you able to take glutamine or b6 etc for it? I thought it did help when I was on taxol.
I hear you about Pittsburgh.
I saw this excerpt from a poem today:later that night
i held an atlas in my lap
ran my fingers across the whole world
and whispered
where does it hurt?it answered
everywhere
everywhere
everywhere.
-Warsan Shirehttp://amberjkeyser.com/2015/11/warsan-shire/
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Is anyone else relieved that Pinktober is almost over? I didn’t think I would feel like this, and I appreciate all the money raised for bc research (as long as it goes to research- which is a whole other topic). What I’m having a hard time with is I’m realizing some friends and family would like me to be the token breast cancer warrior to attend these events with them- walks, fundraisers at local places, etc. There are so many conflicting feelings when you are in and then done with treatment that I find I don’t care to show up somewhere to show that I’ve “fought” cancer, or “beat” cancer because quite frankly until I die of something else I’ll never really know that I am cured of my disease. Of course I feel like a hypocrite because I celebrated the end of chemo and have bought into the whole “kicking cancer’s ass” mindset, because I want to be positive, for myself and my family and friends. I guess I'm just a little crabby about other’s expectations- I don’t want to attend every bc event just because I have bc! I’m tired and crabby and want to do things to forget about this terrible disease that has stolen so much of my time and my head space already this year, and likely will for years to come! (Hopefully!!! 🙏🏻). I know the solution is to explain my feelings or (more likely) come up with a reason I can’t do these things, and I do, but I was wondering if anyone else going through this felt the same? Maybe next year and the years after this won’t be so raw and fresh, and I won’t be so prickly about it all.
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22fightfor-yes yes yes! I totally agree with you. I am grateful for all the fundraising for cancer research, but I feel like I am constantly being reminded I have breast cancer. Everything pink is a reminder. When I check out at store I'm asked to donate to breast cancer cause. I always donate like I have for years, but I feel like I can't go anywhere or turn on the television without my thoughts being brought back to my cancer. I am finally at the point where sometimes I can actually just live my life for hours at a time without the big C on my brain. It's a wonderful feeling to be away from all of those thoughts and fears, even for a little while. This month has made it tough to do that. I will be happy for November too
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22fightor and rockcity: I have been active in bc fundraising for over 20 years. This was my first year as a person with breast cancer and I had a lot of mixed emotions. I did participate in the walk and fundraising. Most days I don't even think about my cancer. During the month of October my friends think I should be the poster child for breast cancer. I've had cancer for approximately 10 months and they want me to represent ALL women with breastcancer. Not happening. Pink has always been my favorite color though. LOL
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moth- according to my oncologist neuropathy is common with taxol and herceptin. He still believes my neuropathy isn't permanet. Today it isn't so bad.Thanks for sharing that beautiful poem. I'm going to take a screenshot of it and use it for a screen saver. I want that title to my baby even with all the evil in the world I still believe love trumps hate.
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Hi guys. We survived Pinktober. I had mixed emotions about seeing all the pink ribbons. I hate pink. Always have. But I like to think of them as reminders to myself to keep doing things I need to do like eat better and excercise. So I've mentally turned pink ribbons into personal reminder ribbons instead of awareness ribbons.
As for the donations...someone asked me for a donation at some checkout counter and I told them I've already contributed about $20,000 so far this year and I didn't have any more change at the moment.
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CBOK- it's nice to see you back on this thread. I'm with you I had mixed feelings about the pinktober. I love the color pink. I sold a bunch of pink bracelets and bandanas to benefit the charity of my choice. I donated all profits to a local mobile mammogram van. They provide free mammograms to women who don't have health insurance. It definitely pissed me off when my friends thought I should be the poster child for breast cancer awareness. Most of us fundraise, participate in walks and advocate for research and better treatment options. In 11 months time I have paid out over $15,000 in co-pays and deductibles. My cancer was diagnosed mid-December. So I was slammed with co-pays and deductibles in December and had to do it all over again starting January 1st. I met my max out of pocket expense and deductible within 3 weeks. We live with cancer every day. It's. our Choice what we choose to or choose not to participate in.
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Hi Ladies,
was meaning to come here earlier to check how everyone is doing? Lol i hear you about all the pinktober and the breast cancer donations at the cash register. I did a bike ride for cancer sponsored by the Columbia Medical Center in October. They had about 1200 people raising > 1.1million which is great.
So, looking back after chemo ended in May - 1) my period never came back, so i guess chemo put me in menopause? Anyone else experience this? I'm 41. 2) Prior to finding out i have BC i did 2 IVF cycles and have frozen embryos. But pregrancy is a bit scary now with my BC being estrogen positive. I'm on Tamoxifen for many years for that. So i've been looking at surrogacy options which is so costly it makes my head spin
Hope everyone is doing great!!0 -
Butterflylily-Wow! Sometimes I forget that so many of you are still in your child bearing years. What does your doctor say about you becoming pregnant?
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It never rains but it pours.... so my dad had a mild heart attack and is in hospital. He had it sometime the previous week and I actually saw him sometime after it happened. He was complaining that he'd been feeling unwell and having some pressure in his chest, "but not pain!", he reassured me. I told him to get his butt over the emerg if it happened again and he did the following day. He's been there ever since, had an angiogram, discovered he has many blockages in his cardiac arteries and the cardiologist is trying to decide whether to proceed by balloon or do a full bypass. He's pretty healthy, swims every day, takes long walks etc..My parents travel a fair bit and are active and fairly young seniors so I'm hopeful but still. And I kind of suspect that my cancer was a factor. My parents both suffered greatly with worry about me all this year.
And then.... my dogs got into cocoa. If you don't know, dark chocolate, baking chocolate and especially cocoa can kill a dog. Milk chocolate less so but it depends on how much is consumed and since it's sweeter, sometimes dogs eat more.... Anyway, the vet checked them out and they appear not to have ingested a toxic dose. But my old setter who is very arthritic and had some mobility problems already, either slipped on the powder (which was everywhere and so so slippery!) and injured himself, or maybe he had a small stroke? He's been having pain, not really able to weight bear and been needing to be carried about. He's improved overnight and been gathering more strength so this is a good sign but I was up all night with him.
And cleaning cocoa powder is not easy! It's such a fine powder that it sticks and coats everything. Open floor plan house so you can imagine. And we're all kicking ourselves for leaving the cocoa where our young dog could get into it. She's been really good the last few weeks but I guess she got bored and decided to explore because she got into all sorts of things and then the cocoa on top if it all. I'll be rearranging cupboards once again so we can go back to having totally empty counters when we leave.
on the plus side, school is going well, I'm really pleased with my grades so far. Just a couple more weeks and we have finals. I'll be done after Dec 12 - which happens to be my cancerversary so once again school will help stop me obsessing about breast cancer because I'll be busy writing a final exam lol.hope everyone is well. I'm planning to meet some of the local gals from bco for a lunch soon and that will be fun.
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moth- so sorry to hear about your father. As you stated he is a Young Senior and very active which is a huge positive. Im glad your setter didnt experience any serious or adverse effects from his Cocoa experience. It's a good reminder for all of us to treat our pets the way we would small children when it comes to safety. I'm glad your elderly dog seems to be recuperating.
It's good news you will soon be celebrating your cancer versary. What a year you have been through. New Year's is right around the corner so hopefully the new year will be good for all of us. Keep us posted on your father and your fur babies
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Moth - I'm sorry to hear about yout dad and the pups. Hope everyone if feeling better now and that rough spot is behind you!
Jo - my MO says maybe in 1.5-2years on Tamoxifen she will let me stop it to try to get pregnant but that makes me nervous. Not sure i have the cojones to do go that route
Does anyone have any good suggestions on diet & nutrition info post BC?
Hugs to all
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ButterflyLily
there's a Diet & Lifestyle thread that's pretty recent and has some good info https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/79/topics...Also I started a plant based & vegan thread: https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/58/topics...
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butterflylily- I have been a vegetarian most of my life. I tried the vegan lifestyle for almost 2 years but I decided I wanted my cheese back. I do believe having good nutrition and physical fitness assisted me in dealing with my BMX and chemo. It did not prevent BC though. I personally don't believe in quick radical changes in one's diet but gradual changes over a period of time until you attain the diet which works best for you. We all have different philosophies. The most important thing is you find something that works for you and makes you feel better.
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I just had my 1st mammogram after treatment and it was difficult. Normally, I'm not one to panic but today was really different. As per the OC's recommendation, I had the mammogram followed by a ultrasound. I thought that the whole shebang should take 30 minutes or less but it took 2 hours. After the mammogram, while waiting for results, a nurse came in to ask me if I'd ever had any breast surgery other than my lumpectomy. I hadn't. Then in the ultrasound, the technician kept going back over the same spot and taking a lot of pictures. My stress was raising. She went out to consult with the doctor who then came in and they started discussing what it was they saw with each other while leaving words out. EX: "right here, you see, it's what I thought looks like a ................, a possibility. I think the technician saw something, showed the picture to the Dr. who wanted to see it but couldn't find what the technician clearly could. Stressful right? then the ultrasound machine froze while they were trying to bring up the still image they had taken to compare. Argh and because of this they had to keep me for longer while they rebooted. The doctor asked how long until the machine would be back up, because it was nearing the end of the day and she had biopsy waiting. (she didn't bother to tell me that it wasn't for me) Finally the doctor came back in (after doing the biopsy on another person, thank goodness) without the technician, looked quickly and said she thought it was a shadow from a tendon and that probably nothing, and wrote me a req. to come back in 6 months.
Can't say it was very reassuring. I'm seeing my doctor this week, I think I'm going to ask for an MRI. Anyone else have any recommendations or better understanding of this?
Kinda stressed,
Laurie
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laurie-it does not hurt to ask for an MRI. If you arent feeling confident in her assessment, insist upon additional testing or have your doctor clarify her reasoning for the decision made. Based on your experience, you have every right to insist upon a clarification.
Good luck to you
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moth: thanks for the diet and lifestyle link! I've added it to my faves and will monitor it closely.
Jo6359: I know what you mean by drastic change just for the sake of it not being as good as finding what works best for you. I was a fairly healthy eater prior to my dx so I think it's just a matter if a few tweaks. I have started a list I keep on my fridge with 2 columns: one for foods to choose, the other for foods to avoid. I keep adding to that list as I find out my useful info.
Laurie: I went to a breast recon awareness event at Lenox hill. There was a lady speaker there, a survivor, and one of her main points was, it's your health, you fight until you get the answer. Follow your instinct. MRI will not hurt I agree. I hated my MRI but glad I had it.
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butterfly-ir was so hot today I couldn't run. I am attending a play today "Hello Dolly". Great performance so far. I'm like your idea of a list to choose and a list to avoid. There are a few food items I need to add to my list which I don't particularly enjoy but it's good for me. Thankd
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Advanced Happy new year all.. wishing you all a better year of happiness, love & health
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Aanoliver - nice to see you again! Thanks for the wishes & wishing the same to all of you!!!
May 2019 be a year of joy and good health for all of us.
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Happy New Year my February ladies. I hope you are all well and that 2019 is way more than just an improvement of last year.
Laurie
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Happy New Year everyone! Wishing you all the best in 2019
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happy New Year to everyone! Thank you so much for your support
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