Starting chemo February 2018
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Hi everyone, just wanted to check in as I realized Feb 15 was my one year anniversary of starting chemo. What a year! I spent the day at school - had a huge pathophysiology midterm and a clinical evaluation interview which was nerve wracking. School is keeping me busy but now I have reading break for a week. I booked my scheduled mammogram and pap smear for this week. I hope that the results come soon & everything comes back clean.
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moth- you're right. It has been quite a year. We started this journey together. I started with a BMX on January 28 and chemo on Feb. 16. You helped me so much when I was going through chemo with your suggestions about nutrition. Good luck with your studies.
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I started chemo on Feb. 14th last year - happy Valentine's Day to me, right?? I marked the date this year with my favourite V-Day treats that I didn't get to enjoy last year, a box of chocolates from my favourite local chocolatier and a single red rose (would've loved a full dozen, but money is a very serious problem for me right now, thanks to this diagnosis). It's been a long, tough year since chemo started, but I've got four inches of new hair, most of my eyelashes and eyebrows (if only they'd stop shedding!), and a clean bill of health, so here's hoping for bigger and better things in the coming year (and every year after this one!!), for me and for all of you ladies, too.
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Anxietygirl-my eyelashes and eyelids continue to shed.
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jo, I always had big thick eyebrows, they've been my trademark my whole life and I loved them. Now I have to fill them in with eyebrow pencil still, 8.5 months after I finished chemo, it makes me sad.
A constant, daily reminder of this mess, along with my short hair and sparse eyelashes.0 -
anxietygirl- I get it. I wasn't as fortunate as you. My eyelashes and eyebrows we're always blond . I do miss them. I'm not very good with eyebrow pencil.
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I'm terrible with makeup in general, I've never really worn it (outside of a few special occasions over the past 20 years that I could literally count on one hand), never ever wanted to, and being forced to now just adds to the unpleasantness of this whole situation. I worry that I'll never look like myself ever again, and since I still plan to live to be 90 (and I'm currently 33), that's a very long time to look weird. O.o
Who knew that I, the girl who was teased endlessly as a teenager for having big thick eyebrows and a small chest, would end up like this. :P
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Hope everyone is doing well!
I just wanted to share a car sticker I recently got. https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/528425667/fu-cance...
(the one in the upper right corner is not the pink one, in case anyone wants to order it. I think that might be oil slick? Anyway, the pink is just a nice plain pink. I have a picture of it on my car on instagram if anyone wants to see it https://www.instagram.com/p/BxYesvygBhc/ )
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Hi guys, it's my 18 months cancer free (18 months post surgery) day today! Hope everyone is doing well. I have a couple medical appointments this month (physical exam, prolia shot, blood work to check my vit d) but I'm doing well and keeping busy in school. Hope to hear from some of you soon!
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moth- congratulations on 18 months. We started this journey almost together. I'm 16 months post-surgery. I know you have been very busy with school. You were the one person who was giving me food tips during chemo. It was greatly appreciated. Will you have a summer break? Don't forget to take care of yourself.
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Hi jo! Happy 16 months cancer free!
No summer break for me. The program is 3 years, year-round. We get about 2-3 weeks off between semesters in April, Aug and Dec. I'm having a hard time fitting in all the physio I have assigned + sleep + eating well into this very intense and packed educational program. It's an ongoing juggling act.
I was mourning a bit how I've suddenly become high maintenance. All my joints require attention, I have to do strengthening exercises and stretches and be careful about how I move and go to physio and massage regularly. The exercises my physio prescribed for me take about 30-45 min a day (& actually she wanted me to do more! but that was just not going to happen). My skin and hair are also suddenly a lot of work. Minor things overall but I do miss that feeling of being carefree. I have been sloppy about doing my meditation practice (because no time!) but I think that's a mistake as it does help me to get to that carefree head space.oh also, forgot to say, if anyone would like to connect on facebook, dm me
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Happy 18 months, moth!!
Funny that I was just thinking about when one is supposed to start counting for being "cancer-free" and whatever, and I logged in here just to see what was up, and there was your post, telling me how you count it, and that seems like a pretty good place for me to start, too.
I had my surgery on Dec. 14th, 2017 (and they got it all out then, too - wide, clear margins, no nodes, no signs of LVI), so that makes me 18 months out now, too, I guess! And so far, so good - I'm back to work finally (got a new gig in April finally), feeling about 98% normal (still a bit tired sometimes), and had my most recent three-month checkup about a month ago and was pronounced "the picture of health" by my new PCP (she's a nurse practitioner and she's really great). Fingers crossed that my next three-month checkup in August (with the oncologist this time) will also be clear.
(Think I mentioned this in a previous post, but my mammo in January was clear, too, nothing of note.)
Now, if only my eyebrows would get back to normal. My hair is getting there (still totally the wrong colour, which I'm super-bummed about, but it's getting longer and it's as thick as it always was and the same texture), my eyelashes are back to normal, but damn, if my once-luscious eyebrows aren't still sparse and shedding almost constantly.
I'm so tired of filling them in every morning before I can go out in public, they used to be so thick and wonderful and now they're patchy and pathetic, it's so discouraging. This whole messy situation stole my two biggest trademarks from me - my long thick copper-highlighted hair and my thick eyebrows - and that has made getting past it all that much harder.I also miss being more carefree - I've been getting better about it (I think the chemo rewired my brain, I'm less pessimistic in general now), but sometimes, I still hit a wall when I'm trying to think ahead and make future plans. "Ooo, maybe next year, I'll take that big trip I've always wanted to... if I'm still around." "Maybe it's time for a change of scenery, I could move to another city... if it doesn't recur." "I should visit friends/family that I haven't seen in ages, meet the new nieces/nephews... if I don't get sick again." It's a bit of a bummer to be 34 years old and afraid to make plans and look forward to things because this thing might come back to get me any time now, I feel a bit stuck. Not as much as I did, say, six months ago, it does seem to be improving (especially now that I'm feeling more like myself again), but I do find myself thinking that way and adding caveats to potential future plans because everything feels so uncertain (and it's not like medical professional I've seen has ever given me any reason to expect to stay well and live a long life, nobody wants to talk about that with me). I just feel like I'm always looking over my shoulder, despite telling myself (and everyone who will listen) that I fully intend to live to be 90.
(And still not being recognized by people I know still bothers me - I have hair, I look like a normal human again, but I don't look like me, nobody recognizes me without my long hair, and no matter how often it happens and I have to re-introduce myself to someone I've known for years, it never gets any easier.)
I'm glad to have a place to come where other people get it, too, and where I can get some of these thoughts out of my head, I am grateful for all of you lovely ladies.
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Hi everyone, just read a bunch of your posts and am super glad to hear you are all well. I've been doing pretty well too. Still, Cancer free. Yaaaaa. Looks like unless some of us are no longer posting we are all doing well on that note.
I've been teaching 3 days a week but have not been able to work more than that. I have a specialised cancer doctor who has told me up until now that this is pretty normal for women in their 50s as we were already winding down career wise and sometimes the stress of cancer just ages us that much more, or... also I think, I'm just much more aware of my limitations being more energy and health conscious. I'm 56.
Some of you are talking about joint pain and I'd like to share with you what I did that inadvertently got rid of my joint pain. I decided that since I was overweight, I should lose some and started the Keto diet. Anyway, since February I've lost 25 lbs and as soon as I got the carbs out of my diet, the inflammation went away and I stopped having joint pain. It was quite bad before. Maybe it might work for some of you. You don't have to do Keto for weight loss either if you don't want. But.. I advise to not go crazy with the meat fat as some do, there are healthy fats out there, meat fats are really not great for heart health. Now that I lost the weight I started to add back carbs into my diet and instantly the joint pain returned. So I'm going to stop the carbs again.
And now for my bad news. My insurance company wanted me to increase my workload and I kept telling them that I was at my max and it was cognitive issues that were slowing me down. So they got me a brain MRI that showed I've been having chronic mini strokes, probably from before the cancer diagnosis. These strokes have affected my ability to function in certain areas, mostly executive functioning which means scheduling, organizing, sequencing, emotions. (think about teenagers, they lose their ability to use executive function for awhile during puberty) Anyway, it's progressive unless I can stop the strokes from happening but not sure what is causing the strokes. Might be my genetic high cholesterol, or family history of early dementia, as my mom developed dementia in her late 50's too and was fully dependant by 65. I'm hoping not the latter and that if I just get my cholesterol down then I can be healthy and happy. Please pray or put out your best energy for me in these upcoming months. This site has helped me tremendously over my cancer treatment and you ladies were a lifeline for me.
Laurie indahood
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Laurie- so nice to hear your cancer free. So sorry to hear about the results of your brain MRI. There are many persons who have TIAs throughout their adult life and never is it diagnosed unless there are overt symptoms or scan scheduled to observe other suspected issues. I don't know that a history of early dementia in itself can cause mini strokes. I would have to do more research on this topic. Of course, strokes can cause dementia. There are compensatory techniques which can be used to adapt to loss in executive functioning. Being an intelligent woman I'm sure you've already have been making adjustments and maybe not even have been aware that you were making adjustments for some loss of organizational and memory functions. You have already mentioned losing weight, diet changes and lowering cholesterol as positive changes you made in your life. Have you Incorporated exercise with the other changes you continue to make? I wish you the very best of luck. Sometimes we focus so much on cancer we forget the other diseases lurking in the shadows. I think it's great you've already made many positive changes to your life.
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Thanks for your reply and your reassuring words. It's always great to reach out here, and seeing a site monitor reply makes me smile. Just more evidence that we are all looking out for one another. I sure do hope that it is only TIA's and once I lower my cholesterol I will be looking forward to enjoying many more years with a very small part of my brain affected.
But there is a type of dementia that is caused by chronic stroke, CADASIL. The strokes start at a young age but the cognitive decline is slow and small. People with this disease are typically diagnosed in their 50's as this is when the accumulated stroke damage is getting hard to ignore. This hereditary disease is passed down directly 50% chance to offspring. It may not be what I am experiencing, but I do have a mother who was diagnosed with dementia at 58 and gone by 70. We assumed early onset alzheimer's, as CADISIL was at that time an unknown disease. There was no definitive alzheimer's diagnosis in the 80's either so it was never confirmed. It can be genetically tested but in Canada it's hard to get a doctor to agree as the tests are expensive. I may have to pay for it myself.
Just some knowledge. I'm taking it day to day and pushing the doctors around me to push for genetic testing. I just want to know. It's ok if I only have 10- 15 years left, if I know I will plan my activites to have the best time I can while I can. Much the same as many of us living with cancer.
Thanks again for your comment and care,
Laurie
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Laura- I might have misunderstood your earlier post. Stroke can most definitely cause dementia. In your earlier post I thought you had said the dementia caused the strokes. I probably just misread your earlier post. Sorry about that. I hope you continue to live a long and healthy life.
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AnxietyGirl - I remember us starting together! You are so young girl! Get out there and make plans and do all the things! I mean c'mon, if I can start a bachelor's nursing program and plan on a 10+ yr career then you can do any.thing. It's always uncertain and our uncertainties have a nasty grain of reality underlying them but still, I figure I might as well try it and see how it all works out.
I'm glad you're back to work. I remember how your work situation was a cause of much stress.Hey Laurie, nice to see you pop in but I'm bummed about your TIAs. Otoh, knowledge is power and maybe with tackling cholesterol and other interventions it can dealt with. The genetic testing sounds interesting but what would be gained? I've always wondered if I'd want to know stuff like that. If there's no treatment, then perhaps I'd rather not know, kwim?
hugs everyone
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anxietygirl- I concur with moth. You've been through a lot with your work situation. Sometimes it's scary planning for the future when there's that underlying uncertainty that comes with a cancer diagnosis. Life Is For Living. You are young, go for it.
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Hi Moth, I guess for me I would totally want to know because I would know how much time I have left to enjoy. I would know if I should stop working and enjoy the last years of my life since, if I do have CADASIL, then I only have a life expectancy of 10 more years. I would be able to plan my exit strategy while I was still of sound mind. But that's me. I'm sure some would prefer not to know.
Laurie
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Hi girls!
Just wanted to check in and say hi. Hope everyone is doing great! I think of you all often.
As for me, I'm feeling great. move to a new apartment, i go to the gym regularly and eat healthy. Work is going well and my hair is getting long enough where i don't look like a boy anymore. I think it's a little waiver than it used to be. I'm seeing my MO next month for the regular every 6-months checkup. Always makes me a bit nervous. Will ask her what she thinks about stopping tamox to have a baby but I'm not even sure i have the courage to get pregnant and have estrogen levels skyrocket. It's just that surrogace is so expensive
. But hopefully everything will work out for the best.I also started using the nutribullet a lot. I read that brocolli, brussel sprouts, mushrooms lower the level of estrogen in your body. I put them in the nutribullet with some banana, walnuts and strawberries and add some almond milk. It's healthy and delicious! Try it out!
Hope everyone is doing great. Hugs from me!
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HI ButterflyLily! Glad you're doing well. I hope you find the family making solution that meets your needs; certainly such a difficult decision.
I do green smoothies too! I have a Vitamix. Spinach and blueberries are my go to. I've read similar recommendations about cruciferous veg, mushrooms and nuts... I try to organize around Dr Greger's Daily Dozen & Dr Funk's list https://pinklotus.com/powerup/resources/dr-funks-favorite-14-eat-to-beat-breast-cancer/I finished first year of nursing school just a couple weeks ago; two more years to go for my BSN. I'm enjoying school; I like keeping busy & have been really pleased with the warm welcome from my fellow students who don't seem phased at all by this crazy old lady in their midst. I occasionally worry that I'm not getting as much sleep/exercise/meditation/good food as I should but overall I think it's ok. I keep tweaking schedules and trying to get more organized but there are only so many hours in the day & nursing school is pretty intense.
My hair grew back curly in sections and straight in others - it's been a bit of a mess but I think I'm now starting to get some control over it. I'm going on Sunday for my 2nd haircut since chemo and I think I'll manage something a bit like Claire Underwood's longer pixie.hugs everyone
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Hi everyone!
Just dropping in to say hi and see how everyone is doing? How are the holidays and spirit?
Wishing you all a fabulous and healthy start to 2020!
Hugs
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Hi Butterfly Lilly and the rest of you if anyone is still out there.
Hope everyone is well.
Laurie
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moth, I just read your update on your diagnosis history. fucking sucks. I'm so sorry. I'm going in for more surgery as theve found ADH, atypical ductal hyperplasia. anyway, I see you. Sorry this is happening.
Laurie (indahood)
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Laurie, thx. I'm still gutted. Have u had your surgery yet?
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Moth, I haven't even talked to the surgeon yet, damn may long weekend. And over the weekend my armpits feel puffier and puffier and a bruise has appeared on the side of my breast. Dr Google hasn't given me much hope so I'm waiting for a second opinion once the doctors are back at work tomorrow. I did call the health link just incase it's Inflammatory or IBC. Hoping it's just my immagination, running away with me. I'm also gutted for you, Moth. I have a very close teacher friend here in Banff that has stage 4 and is living fairly well except, of course for side effects from treatment, I hope that will be the case for you. You and I had almost the exact same initial diagnosis with mine being stage 2 only because it was just over 2cm. Sneaky mother fucker. Excuse my language but sometimes they are the only words that express the anger and frustration I feel about cancer, mine and that of my BC sisters.
Does anyone else post here? I'll stick by if you need an ear. I know I do again.
Laurie
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more of us are posting on the diagnosed in 2017 thread https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/152/topic...
Hope you finally got to see your doctor and are making progress with this
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Moth,
I just saw your update in your diagnosis history too. I am so sorry hun. Hope you are keeping a positive spirit! How are you doing? Are you done with chemo? Thinking of you.
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Hey Butterfly Lilly and Moth, Guess it's we three here. Hope your doing all right. Just an update on my surgery. I was offered a second lumpectomy but I decided that instead, I would have a double mastectomy and get it over wtih. Since there are no rebuild surgeries going on due to Covid and since I want the mastectomy and rebuild at the same time, I will have to wait until at least the fall.
Hope you are feeling alright, Moth. and nice to hear from you Butterfly Lily.
indahood
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Hi indahood, good to see you on here too! miss all the ladies. glad you made a confident decision on the surgery and that you for a date for the surgery+rebuild together. Wishing you a great outcome!
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