May 2018 Surgery Support Group
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Kandyhunt- ZERO!!!! that’s amazing!!!!!
Blessed- I’m with you on the whole reading about this medication! I just can’t bring myself to do it, I’ll just freak myself out. I did ask my oncologist what the major/dangerous side effects were and that I’ll call if I think I am experiencing those. I’m alresdy stressed about having to take a pill for 10 years I dont need to stressed about every little possible side effect too!
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May Peeps: Thank you for all the encouragement! Who else outside of our elite club could possibly know what this is like? My PS either reads this board or felt bad about how he treated me on Friday because he called yesterday and is going to refer me to a pain specialist. While I am grateful that he came to his senses, I just can't imagine that I'm his first patient to have these issues. My pain is improving bit by bit, but regardless, I want to meet with the pain doctor since I have at least one more surgery in the future and I may have a similar reaction. Also, my cording is SO much better - I can straighten my arm all the way and the cords in the armpit are getting looser. The PT has been awesome to work with.
kandyhunt: ZERO Oncotype?! WOW! That is fantastic - I've never heard of someone coming in at a zero. For once, it's good to have the lowest score on a test! My score is a 19 and when I meet with the MO in a few weeks, I'm sure he'll have a big ole bottle of Tamo waiting for me, lol.
sn75 & blessed: the sunburn feeling/sensitivity is nerve pain - it's what I've been moaning about for the past month. There are 4-6 nerves on each side of the breast that are cut during a bmx and they sometimes react angrily to surgery. A few things I have found that help (besides drugs, since my PS wouldn't give me any): Penetrex cream (Amazon) - I slather it on 3-4 times a day and rub it in well. I think rubbing it on my skin, although painful, has helped desensitize the painful areas. Shower: putting the shower head on a strong setting and letting it hit the sensitive areas also desensitizes the skin. Caveat: I could even think about doing either of those things the first week or two of nerve pain, but now that I'm in week 4, it's tolerable. I also spent a considerable part of the first two weeks just walking around the house topless- fortunately, I have daughters. A friend who had nerve pain with her bmx said that she kept wanting to invent an inverse cone like dogs wear after surgery - one that would go around your neck and lift the shirt away from the skin - I have thought about that a gazillion times since!
Bras: for those of you wondering about which bras to wear after surgery, there is a thread about this: https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/44/topics... Several people have recommended Coobie bras to me, and they seem to be comfy, but right now I'm more comfortable in zip up athletic bras from Athleta. Naked and Eberjay are also brands that have been recommended.
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Fir the first time since first grade I walk around bra-less, and I am loving it! It feels like I have a built-in bra, so to speak, anyway. My PS said I don’t need any support anymore and if my skin feels ok, I don’t have to wear anything. I got a bunch of tank tops, which I was never able to wear due to 34DDD boob size, and feel somewhat younger in them. With my new chemo buzz cut, my hubby says I look like Demi Moor in G I Jane. Wishful thinking, of course, but I appreciate the thought 😜0
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I had fill #3 done today, I’m up to 175cc’s and looking to get probably 2 more maybe 3 tops, ending around 300cc. I have only been getting air, and will get air next week too. My ps wants to really let things heal well and will probably swap the air for saline on my 5th appt. hoping to have exchange surgery in August! I continue to have no pain just some discomfort if I move certain ways. They are most uncomfortable along my rib cage where the bra band would sit. (And I haven’t worn a bra in 4 weeks and it’s amazing! Don’t think I’ll go back to one!
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I am actually jealous of all you braless folks. I only had my right removed and expanded. I still have to wear a bra for the left, which much more droopy than the right. I am hoping I can get a little lift to that side during the exchange. I would totally go braless if I had both done
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I had a successful 1st appt with MO today. I liked him a lot and appreciated that he took the time to answer all my questions and did not freak out when I said that I was considering declining Tamoxifen.
My Oncotype score was 10 and he confirmed no chemo was needed. He explained that 5-10 years of Tamoxifen was the recommendation. He addressed each of my concerns objectively and put several of them in better perspective for me. The 2 that also gave him pause were that fact that I have been taking a low dose of Paxil successfully for many years now and I would need to switch that out for something else to take Tamoxifen and the fact that my younger sister has already had 2 deep vein thrombosis' and pulmonary embolisms. He is going to look over her medical records on that and possibly do a work up on me to see what we are dealing with. After we figure that out, my husband and I will decide if we think Tamoxifen is right for us or not.
I really appreciate hearing how everyone else is doing. Kandyhunt - 0 is a ridiculously wonderful score!!!!
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Oh boy...had a 70cc fill yesterday afternoon and I'm feeling it today. I'm at 330cc now and the original plan was to get to 400 but I can't imagine 70 more getting in there right now. I know the first 24 hours are the worst so hoping it will start to feel better. I was an A-B cup before and wanted to be a full B cup. I'm tall but have a small frame so my PS thought 400 would be good. But I'm feeling huge right now. I know it's not an exact science but so ready to be done. In other news, since I'm 4 weeks out from surgery I'm finally cleared to do stretching and start PT.
I also wanted to say I'm in awe of you ladies who've gone back to work already. I'm happiest on my recliner these days and can't fathom working. I'm a teacher so I'm very lucky I have 2 1/2 months to recover. I do have a 4 & 7 year old to chase after but I've hired a teenager in my neighborhood to help nowthat school's out. Anyone else have young kids? My 7-year-old is definitely affected by all this. He misses his mommy who always had energy and could take him places easy peasy. But now everything is a struggle. Anyway, if anyone has advice on that front, I'd love to hear your experiences.
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SPDGirl: Great news! It's the news we all hold our breath to get. I'm glad you don't have to do chemo. That was my worst fear. More so than losing my breasts.
ljm33: Feeling your pain today...literally. I am feeling every single cc from yesterday. I've been nursing it with ibuprofen, but I woke up in middle of the night with pain and then again this morning. The hot shower helped some, as did the ibuprofen, but I let the meds wear off and I can barely move my arms. I really want to at least go 50 more, then do the final fill, but OMG! This week hurts more than last. I have to wear a bra, so I'm always second guessing the one I'm wearing and wondering if it is causing some of the pain too. What I would love to do is take a dose of heavier meds, but I have my 4 year old today, so I can't. The first several weeks of recovery were easier because he was going to the sitter everyday. She is on vacation this week, so I have him all day. This morning I pushed through the pain and took him to a movie. Now I'm done. Really done. I can't imagine 50 more, but I'm praying this eases up a lot in the next day or two. I purposely made my next week appointment on Thursday to give myself a little more time to recover. I too have the summer off, so I feel for those who have had to go back to work. I may have been able to go back before the last two fills, but I'm glad I didn't have to. I don't have anyone to come get my little one or spend the day with him. Since he was a midlife surprise, none of my friends my age have toddlers so we could arrange play dates, and most of them work full time. It's a struggle, but we do what we have to do. I don't have any advice on having younger children and going through this. I can only offer sympathy. My toddler and I do EVERYTHING together. Nothing slows us down. He is handling it pretty well, but I feel guilty all the time. I play and go as much as I can, but it sure isn't much. 😢
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I have an almost 2 year old so it’s been a struggle not being able to pick her up. I miss the snuggles! Luckily my mom normally has her when we are at work so we’ve been hanging out there during the day and will head home once my husband is home. I’m just thankful she’s so young and all she knows is that mommy has booboos and I haven’t had to explain anything more.
As far as the fills I’ve been very lucky so far and my PS has used air so they aren’t heavy at all. I’m trying to get to 300cc but don’t know if I’ll even get there as I was barely a B cup prior. I will be getting one more fill of air next Tuesday and then the following week she is going to swap it out for saline. Not looking forward to that as I know the pressure will really come once they’re heavier. I will be returning to work on July 12 so hoping I can have my fills done by then
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Readyabout - does the Penetrex cream really help you with the pain relief of nerves? Also, is there a good lotion to use on the incisions to help them? My doc told me to try Benedryl for the itching so I'll try it tonight but I'm not convinced it will help. The itching starts around 2:00 and goes until I go to bed.
I got another fill today - 100cc so I'm now at 450cc. I'm 5'9" and was a 40DD before surgery. I'm looking to be a full C or D. Today's fill is more uncomfortable. More pressure for sure. I'm a little jealous of those only going to where I am at now. I know I can get to where I want but wow, we got some stretching to go! I don't want to be as big as I was before but when I put on shirts I just don't look right
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it’s so difficult with young kids, I have an almost two and four-year-old and it’s been really challenging with the youngest one, as you mentioned SLL, to not pick her up. Thankfully I have loads of help (it takes a village!) i’ve definitely felt guilty though, and let’s just say we have walked up to the ice cream shop way too often due to mommy guilt! Lol
The fills are awful, and honestly I felt very sore for 4 to 5 days after each Fill, thankfully my next one isn’t until July 11 and likely will be the last..I’m up to 520 now and I’m happy where I’m at. I feel really heavy right now on my pec muscles so I can’t imagine being able to handle much more..
Oddly I find myself totally fine during the day, even walked about 6 miles this afternoon, but I am very sore every morning when I wake up, and it’s really painful to pull myself out of bed.. I havent ask my PS about it but I’m guessing it’s because my pec muscles are sitting all night with the stupid tissue expanders on them and are just tight in the morning. Once I stretch and have a warm shower I feel better, but today is the first day I haven’t taken any Advil in the morning. Anyone else waking up with this kinda pain? I know it has to be the tissue expanders because it literally feels like giant rocks sitting on muscle, which is exactly what it is since mine are under the muscle. I’ve also wondered if I have been overdoing it during the day, I’m the type of person who cannot sit still so I literally go crazy sitting on my couch and trying to relax. I find when I keep myself busy I forget the rocks are there. At the same time my surgeon warned me this would happen and not to push myself too soon. Did you guys get clearance at 6 weeks to lift over 10 lbs again and start back to light excercise? I saw a couple people on another forum were running again at 6 weeks?!
Can’t wait for this exchange
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I went for the first fill today and PS removed the air from the expanders and then put in 180 ccs. I had prepectoral reconstruction so my expanders are on top of the chest wall and I think that makes the fills a bit easier. I don't feel any discomfort yet. I'm going in for one more fill, but honestly, I could be happy with that size - is that crazy? Maybe I got used to the crumpled look of the tissue expanders, but my foobs looked normal to me in the office. I'm 5'4" and on the lean side so I don't want to very big. I guess I'll hang out with them the next 3 weeks and see how it goes.
sn75: I really think the Penetrex cream has helped; in fact, I just ordered a refill yesterday. Maybe it's a placebo effect, but either way, it has helped with the nerve pain. I'm seeing the pain specialist tomorrow and will report back if I get any good advice. My nerve pain definitely improved after 3 weeks, but man, those 3 weeks were r-o-u-g-h. I think I have maybe had 6 days since surgery where I haven't cried at some point in the day, and I am not a crier. Also, I was allergic to the foam padding they put all around me after surgery and I took Benadryl for it- it was awful trying to get under the foam to scratch and when they finally took it off after a week, there were a few big blisters that had popped. At the very least, the Benadryl will help you sleep. I'm sorry you are going through all this!
Michi: I definitely feel more pain in the morning. It's like a little thought bubble with "WTH?!" pops up above my head when I sit up in bed. I take an Aleve, make some coffee, and then sit still for 30 minutes while I wait for the Aleve to kick in. I also wake up every night with some pain but I usually just ignore it. I am 5 weeks out and have tried to run a little bit but each time I do, there's a painful tugging sensation on the lower outside corner of each breast, apparently from the sutures that hold my expanders in place. In the meantime, I've done spin, elliptical, hikes, treadmill walks, etc. I did 5 lb bicep curls yesterday, then briefly wondered why my left bicep was sore today, lol. My PS gave me the ok today to start lifting light weights, but my tissue expanders are on top, not under, the chest muscle and that may be why I can start.
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I am doing well. Every day I feel better. It certainly helps to see where everyone else is in their journey.
I went to the oncologist today. Oncotype score zero. Was thinking I was going to get Tamoxifin or something like it. But instead got Anastrozole which is Tomaxafin for menopause women. And told that maybe I should do radiation too. I freaked. I told all my surgeons, plastic, breast and the oncologist that the only reason I was doing the BMX was because I was NOT going to do radiation. The oncologist said he understood. I asked what were the percentages of increase in survival if I did it. He said not much. I asked him to tell me what he would tell his mom. He said, I'd tell her to skip radiation unless there was above a 5% increase. So he is going to talk to a radiation oncology specialist and get back to me. I am not doing radiation. Left side near my heart and I already have high blood pressure.
Crazy.
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wow... there are a lot of us with young kids. Mine are 5 and 3. It is tough!!
I actually did not have any restrictions from day one. More or less went by how I felt. I think stretching has really helped me. I have full range of motion. I am back to my normal workout routine. It is a really weird feeling when I contract my pec, not pain just weird. I could be one of those guys in the gym who makes there pecs jump on command. Probably not attractive for a female 😂.
I am at 550 on my fills. Trying to decide if I want a little more. Looking to be a full C. To match the other side. I think my recovery has been much easier only having one side reconstructed
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I was beginning to think the pain I have in the mornings was because of sleeping in the recliner and maybe slumping. After reading your posts, I'm relieved to know it is common. I can't decide really where the pain is. Sometimes I think my expanders are digging into my ribcage and maybe that is what causes the pain. It doesn't help that my skin feels horrible underneath the expanders, but it isn't even red. The skin on my chest has certainly changed since surgery, as has the skin on my whole torso. I am seeing a dermatologist tomorrow to make sure that there isn't something going on that will interfere with my progress. My PS has been concerned about it for a few weeks, but I also don't moisturize when I see him, so it is extra red and dry. I haven't been good to my skin over the years. Lots of sunburns have left me with loads of freckles and I am already beginning to have my grandma's "age spots". BC has me terribly paranoid about other cancers, so I want to make sure I don't have any type of skin cancer. I will also be using a lot of sunblock from now on. I like to tan, but I'm all done with letting myself fry.
My main goal now (besides getting my life back) is to lose weight and try to get into shape. However, I love to eat and I haven't been released to do much of anything. No PT yet and still no lifting over 5lbs. I've been secretly envious of those who are already working out. A friend and I are going to start walking. Maybe I can walk enough to help lose some of the extra pounds. I feel like I'll be much happier with a smaller chest if my gut wasn't so big. I just can't seem to be motivated to do anything about it yet. It doesn't help that I have a house full of picky eaters, none of them heathy habits.
Right now I'm just trying to recover from the fill yesterday. It sounds like the walking might even help that. I've also figured out that when I overdo it, I suffer more in the mornings. If you think you could be overdoing it, you probably are. Hang in there ladies! Thanks again for sharing your experiences!
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Not quite 6 weeks post BMX and I would say I turned a corner about 5 days ago. The tightness in my chest seems to have lessened a bit or my tolerating of it has increased. It has made me anxious to "do-do-do", but my stamina is so short lived and the tightness seems to ramp back up as the day progresses. I keep trying to envision the day when I will feel like this is behind me
I am in awe of and praying for all of you! Those that have been working, those with young children, those already working out and driving, those conquering the fills... Your milestones are inspiring!
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First visit with the oncologist today, exactly 4 weeks after bmx. No chemo or radiation needed, good prognosis. He started me on Femara 25mg daily. He was informative and answered questions thouroughly, and had obviously read my records beforehand (don''t count on that, or even that they read the right patient's chart) so I feel pretty confident that I'm in good hands.
Healing is ongoing but slow. Non cancer side (left) is doing fine, only a few small scabs left. Right side still has large eschar on the vertical part of the Wise pattern (anchor / inverted T). Surgeon assures me it will heal fine so I'm trying not to rush things. I still miss being in the pool, but until it heals completely there's no chance of that.
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Wow...there are a lot on this board with young kids. Makes me sad. My 4-year-old is pretty oblivious. Though he did tell his pre-K class that mommy went to the hospital to get her boo boo fixed. That led to an impromptu circle time on doctors and healing but his teacher said it was all good. It's my 7-year-old who misses the cuddles and keeps asking when I'm gonna be better.
Blessedinthismess: Yes it sounds like our experiences are very similar. My tightness from my Tuesday fill is getting better but my left side is just really sore. It's been that way since Day 1. It actually hurts (sometimes a lot) around the edge of the expander like a big bruise where as my right side feels pretty good.Mornings are also the worst for me too. I wake up stiff, tight, and in pain everyday. It takes forever to get moving. But once I shower and have my coffee, I do feel better. I was actually out and about all morning today so I guess my stamina is improving. But my back sure did pay the price later.
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Seems like a lot of us are in the same boat as far as pain. This morning I could barely move my arms and I wanted so badly to take a muscle relaxer, but instead I took a hot, 30 minute shower and tried to move around a lot. I took my toddler out in the rain this evening and let him splash in puddles, then gave him a shower. It's the first time I've given him a shower since surgery. My hubby has been doing it. I sat on the tub with my feet in the tub and did it, but I did it! It actually didn't hurt, so I'm celebrating that tiny victory. Today I kept reaching above my shoulders and the muscle spasms sternly reminded me that that was a no no. Each day things are getting a little more normal. It's a new normal, and I long for the day I can get these bricks out of my chest, but I know I'm closer everyday. I'm also really tired of going to appointments, as I'm sure many of you are. Monday I had a dentist appt, Tuesday was my fill, Wednesday I took my son to the doctor, and today I saw a dermatologist. I am thankful that I don't have appointments for radiation or chemo, so I really shouldn't complain. I am also thankful that I am able to drive and make it to these appointments without having to be chauffeured. I hope you are all starting to get back to your new normal and your pain is diminishing each day. Thanks for letting me babble about nothing. ☺️
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OK Friends, I went to the pain specialist yesterday and here is my book report for anyone who needs it. She was SO helpful! She slowly listed several different medications and the side effect of each, and then we agreed on a plan. For those of you with nerve pain, there are several drugs that are effective for treating it and it just depends on your situation/pain. My doctor and I decided on Cymbalta, which happens to be an antidepressant also used for treating nerve pain in diabetic patients. It won't make me sleepy or groggy, I can drive on it, it's not considered a narcotic/opioid, and it's kind of a 2-for-1, as it will treat any situational depression I may have in slogging through cancer treatment. She also prescribed a topical ibuprofen gel called Voltaren; it is used for joint pain but can be effective for nerve pain as well. I'll slather that on several times a day and also keep up with the Penetrex cream I've been using. She also mentioned taking Cymbalta ahead of my next surgery to minimize potential nerve pain afterwards.
Finally, she said that although opioids get a bad rap because of the addiction issues that are always in the press, they are precisely the drug people need to take after major surgery. She said no other medication will touch the post-surgery pain as effectively as narcotics like Percocet, especially after you've been "flayed open in a mastectomy". It was just nice to hear a doctor acknowledge what a ruthless surgery this is.
Hope this helps! It sounds like many of us are dealing with some challenges at precisely the point we expected to be getting back into the routine of our previous lives. I really feel for those of you with little ones at home! I don't know how I would managed this back when mine were that age; my younger one is a whirlwind of energy and was always swinging from the rafters on a good day.
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Happy Weekend Everyone. So glad to continue to read about everyone's experiences, and I don't consider any of it babble!
ReadyAbout - thank you for sharing about the pain consultation. Sounds like a great plan. Are you putting the Penetrex right on the incisions?
Do any of you still have glue coating the incisions?
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ReadyAbout: Thank you for sharing that information! Very helpful!
SPDgirl: Don't be too in awe of me, who is back to work. I can set my own hours and for the most part pick and choose which duties I partake in. Mostly I do the desk work. That being said, my job is physical, and I do think I've overdone it with lifting things and working with dogs that are heavy leash pullers. (I do dog boarding/training/daycare). I am in constant pain and today was just suffering all through the morning. So, yes, technically I am back to work, but it is not a pleasant experience. The pleasant part is that it gets me out of the house for a bit of time and makes me feel semi productive.
As4me: The pain is just unbearable. Today for example, I feel like I have bra constricting my arm area, binding around my arm pit and shoulder and breast area. Except that I am braless. So, it's internal pain. I have swelling just outside my armpit area. Pain everywhere around the surgical area. Rib pain. The same type of pain most of you are describing. I am not getting nerve pain though. I have significant numbness still. Even so, I have gained some feeling back in my underarm. I was surprised to read a while ago who many of you are shaving your armpits since mine are completely numb. I was afraid of cutting myself. Though I did it, because I needed it! Well, overnight, the other day, I woke to a patch of feeling back in my underarm. Just an area, one particular area. The rest around it is still numb. But, I have that one spot with feeling again!
I have a lot of itching, in spots in areas that are numb. So, I kinda search for where is the actual itch?
I still have significant bruising and ring around the top of my surgical area where my hematoma was. I am guessing that could be the cause of the pain.
I stupidly lifted a heavy 5 gallon water jug at work the other day which gave me more pain. I've decided to call my PS Monday and request a check in, just so he can just take a look to be sure all is well. I don't know that I should be having this much pain this far out of surgery. Still need the narcotics. I keep NOT taking them just because I don't want to ALWAYS be stoned on pain meds. But, then I suffer all day, until I finally choose to take them. I am seriously getting some marijuana this weekend. I think it may work as well as the oxycodone with less side effects.
All THAT being said, I think I am getting better.
The pain, yes, constant and debilitating. BUT I am gaining FEELING back in many areas, so that is a good sign. As always, thank you to each and every one of you who are sharing your experiences, it helps so much to learn how similar our experiences really are. Those of you with kids, KUDOS and I bow to you!! I can't even imagine. I have 7 dogs. Yes SEVEN in my household. They are enough work, I can't imagine little ones! My hat is off to you.
ReadyAbout, thank you again. I love hearing your surgeons take on our pain. It truly does add validity to our suffering!
Have a GREAT Friday everyone. Try to be good to yourselves!
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Oh Spdgirl, Yes I had glue, it's been peeling off and I've been working at getting it off. The scars are worse than I expected after the glue came off. I know it'll all change as I heal and look very different over time. But, yes, I have the glue and it's peeling off now. You?
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FaithsMama: I'm certainly not a doctor, but I wonder if an oral steroid would help with some of the symptoms you are describing: the swelling and the itching? I had numbness/tingling in my hand on the SNB side the week after surgery and my PS put me on prednisone for about 5-7 days. Apparently I had swelling in the arm that was pressing on nerves? Just a thought. I'm sorry you are still in chronic pain - it can feel very isolating, especially when you are surrounded by people who have no idea what you are going through.
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spdgirl- I also had glue. It took awhile for it to come off, about 5 weeks. It just peeled right off.
I am so sorry for those of you suffering from chronic pain and nerve pain. It wears on you both physically and mentally. You are correct those who have not experienced it do not understand. Hang in there and hopefully some of the alternative therapies will help. Being in the hands of a pain specialist is probably the best place to be. Surgeons are great at surgery, but generally at a loss with continued post-op pain. It is not their specialty and honestly they stink at it
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So the past few weeks I’ve been struggling with something not pain or recovery related. I miss my husband. He has become very distant in the last 5 weeks, and I think it’s his way of dealing with what I just went through. He was very touchy feely before surgery and doesn’t really want anything to do with it’s me lately. I don’t know know if he’s keeping his distance so he’s not tempted to touch or what. I’m hoping once my exchange surgery is done things will get better. I know if I try and talk to him he’ll just shrug and say he’s fine.
Thank you for letting me get this out ladies.
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SLL, you are still new in your BC journey. He might still be processing your diagnosis and treatment. My husband retreated also and I couldn’t understand why. When I asked him he said, “you said you just want to be left alone...you need peace and quiet and space.” I did say that but not intended for him...I was telling him to explain why I didn’t want to socialize...stand around and chat after church, have friends over, etc. So once that got cleared up then we got back on track connecting emotionally not physically...but I was in so much pain I didn’t want to be touched except for a shoulder rub or a foot rub.
I also asked my nurse navigator if there was a marriage counselor/therapist at the breast cancer center. There was and she said he was excellent. Sometimes I thought about us going together and other times I thought about going for myself. I also had my sister who walked this journey with me and was a great sounding board
Men are made to conquer problems. They can’t fix this cancer diagnosis and I think they feel helpless. and scared. He may be withdrawing without even realizing it or because he doesn’t know what to do. We are in our 31st year of marriage and I can say that communication is so important. Even if he won’t talk about it he can listen to you and how you are feeling. He can hear what you need from him. Cancer is a full out assault on our bodies and our lives. Everyone close to us will be affected in some way.
Listening to my husband respond to family and friends who were asking about me revealed a lot about how he was dealing with my breast cancer, especially after my BMX with DIEP Flap reconstruction. He was very protective of me in that he explained what a huge surgery it was and never gave the impression that I was just breezing thru it. He was honest about the pain I was experiencing and/or the lack of strength and stamina. That told me “he got it”. He got what I was going thru.
This past week I received results from my full body PET SCAN. It came back negative, NED. No cancer anywhere in my body. That was such a relief. It is like a dark cloud that had been hovering over us was finally lifted. The future didn’t seem so uncertain. Laughter and fun has come back into our marriage.
Continue to vent here! We are here for you.
Barbara
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SLL-
I have to tell you my husband and I have been in the same boat, honestly since this all started back in February I feel like he’s handled the situation extremely poorly. Thankfully I didn’t end up with an invasive cancer, only the pre-cancerous cells, but to be honest I don’t know how he would have handled anything major like chemo or even radiation. It was shocking to me because he has always been our families anchor. He really disappointed me and we had a long conversation about it just last week and I told him exactly how I felt in an effort for us to move forward. He basically explained to me he didn’t know how to handle everything I was going through, he was scared and felt very alone. In my mind it was a little bit of a cop out but hey I’ll go ahead and say it; we are stronger of the two genders, literally starting out the level of the sperm so...
I’m not sure my little rant was super helpful but I just wanted to let you know you aren’t alone andI think going through anything so major like this can undoubtably cause stress on a relationship.
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Thank you for the answers on the glue - mine is still there close to 6 weeks out, but I haven't been peeling it. I have been trimming any pieces of it that stick out or up, but I wasnt given any instructions on it, so I have been wondering.
Shaved under my arms today for the 2nd time. Still super numb. This time I did it at the sink instead of in the shower and kept my contact lenses out which allows me to have a better precision type view. Went better than the 1st time, but it was quite the process.
Even with the success of the above, am quite discouraged today. I am still having so much rubber band type tightness around/ under arms and across my chest at the incision area and above. I still don't know when people ask, if this is a type of pain or if tightness is something entirely different. I have not had any relief with Tylenol or Advil. Has anyone had relief for tightness with medication? I do the stretching 2-3 times a day and I think it helped some to begin with, but I don't see anything noticeable lately. My range of motion continues to improve, but I am surprised that the rubber band feeling does not improve alongside it. I have also been surprised that my non-node side seems to be losing a bit of range as time goes on. The node removal side is improving range wise better, but much worse on tightness and comfort. I find that having the little heart mastectomy pillows ( do you guys use those?) under my arms provides some relief and/or a folded up towel across my chest and under each arm, but can't be very productive either way.
It is so understanding to have so many marital dynamics during all this. My husband has been seemingly handling it all very well, but I feel like a slug of a wife.
FaithsMama- 7 dogs must keep you hopping
We have 1 cat here (our 2nd cat unexpectedly passed away right after my diagnosis and it just broke our hearts. I sure do miss him)0 -
RE: tightness of pecs over TE's
I am almost 5 weeks post BMX. I have constant, extreme tightness of pecs as the TE's press against them. It has definitely improved since surgery, but it is still uncomfortable, all the time. The spasming of the pecs isn't exactly pain, but it's definitely discomfort. My system: I take 5 mg of Flexeril (= Cyclobenzaprine) every 3-5 hours during the day, which calms down the spasms and makes the tightness feel much better for 2-3 hours at a time. At night, I take 10 mg + also 5 mg Oxycodone, to be sure I rest well and sleep okay at night. If I feel achy, I might take Ibuprofen or Tylenol, but usually it's been tightness, not pain, so the muscle relaxant has worked well.
My TE's are 500ccs, and PS put 200 ccs in (each side) at surgery. I haven't had any fills yet, because my right side incision has been slow to heal. I'm in no hurry. The swap surgery will have to be in October or November, because I now have chemo starting in two days.
I'm 60 years old, and I was fairly fit before surgery--had strong pecs and strong arms. I am not sure whether that has anything to do with patients' relative discomfort. I wasn't a candidate for the "pre-pec" type of reconstruction, because right breast had radiation in 2003, 15 years ago with 1st breast cancer--damage includes slower healing, less blood supply, and generally is more fragile as a result.
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