Chemo Starting September 2018
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Hi anxiouslady, thank you for stopping by. The American Cancer Society has some good common sense advice for chemo and pets. They recommend not playing rough (so you don’t get unnecessary cuts) and for your pet not to lick you, especially the couple of days after chemo. I would not sleep with your dog the few nights after chemo though I bet people do. But if your pet is otherwise healthy it is fine. I could not have dreamed of banishing my dog. Mine is sulking because he thinks being a therapy dog means he can get on the couch with me after my husband goes to bed and I just told him no
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Tigerliy, thank you for your reply, I don't let her lick me but she follows me around like my tail. It will be hard to keep her away, she loves to lie down besides me or close to me. I will check the American Cancer Society site.
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Thanks to all for the congrats on finishing up chemo. It is a relief to have that step over and I'm here cheering you all on!
Sunocean - Welcome and I hear you on feeling that chemo is just the beginning of a life-changing road. You're right about that. The chemo ends, but often there are still surgeries or endocrine therapy ahead, and a long road of healing and adjusting to the changes in your body. This is the place to vent about it!
BeingPositive - I hope the advil helped. It's an agonizing decision you have to make, to be sure. I had my mastectomy before chemo and had just a couple of weeks to decided. It felt crazy.
Tigerlily - I had been married not quite two years before I was diagnosed but I do believe that a marriage can grow stronger with this sort of trial. You find out for sure that you aren't loved just for your body. As for the "what if" of it happening before you signed on the dotted line - my husband (who was 49 at the time) had a stroke while we were engaged. I remember thinking as I sat with him in the neuro CCU that whatever happened, it changed absolutely nothing for me - I still very much wanted to get married.
Brink - is it an allergic reaction to the skin care products or a chemo skin change?
Piksie - Glad your first Taxol went well. Maybe you have time to put in a request for them to install a bell? I think they should be standard in all infusion centers. I can't imagine forgetting all this in 7 yers, either. Or ever. What a great photo!
8 days PFC and I have to echo what Tigerlily said about this last round being both harder and easier. I have a hell of a sore on my tongue (which the diflucan seems to be clearing up) and I still feel like my legs are made of cement. But I think there was a huge psychological boost of knowing it was the last time I'd cycle through all the side effects so they just don't didn't bother me as much. I find myself obsessing a bit about my hair (the little fluffy hairs on my head look so weird to me!) and wondering when I'll ever have to shave my legs again. But all in all, I find myself more hopeful than I've felt in a good long time. Now I just need to get through the surgery where the nerve damage that happened gets fixed.
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wanderweg - I was not allergic to my skincare products before, but since I am doing immunotherapy that definitely causes more allergies and rashes. Hopefully it'll all go away after I'm done.
Piksie - Yeah gabapentin definitely helped my hot flashes and sleep! Although after my body got used to it the effects wear off a little faster. Still I'll take whatever I can get!
On another note we're thinking to move out of the city, thanks to a guy who got arrested for building and hoarding guns illegally a block from my current place... I'll be done with my weekly Taxol on Thanksgiving week, have surgery probably around Christmas, and start AC some time in January. When do you think I can handle the whole house-buying/moving process? Should I wait until next spring?
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Piksie-I need to learn about these burritos-what do you put in them? How do you store them so they don’t get weird in the freezer? The kitchen has always been my zen place-seeking out recipe ideas, prepping, chopping, etc. Even not being able to taste correctly I still try to cook like I used to-though the frequency that I resort to frozen pizza/takeout/breakfast for dinner has increased since this shit started. Also-hoping you are safe from the SoCal fires!
So glad for all of you finishing this part of the cancer journey!
My first taxol week has been fine. I believe I have bronchitis but no fever so it’s been hard determining what symptoms to blame on what but for the most part I feel like I just have a cold plus a yucky chemo mouth so I’m hoping that I don’t experience any additional taxol SEs for a few more weeks at least.
Wanderweg-I totally regret shaving my head since I still have a head full of bristles. But maybe I’m ahead of myself-taxol could do the rest of it in any week I’m sure. I keep wondering what the new growth will look like!
BoE- I can’t imagine moving during this process, so if you don’t have to I’d wait! Crazy people can live anywhere-at least this guy was caught and hopefully new normal people can move in.
I know I will get out of this current self-confidence hole I’m in- I feel ok when I’m made-up with a cute scarf-and I even found some bralettes that make me feel “normal”, but I was just never that woman before. I was confident in my skin even with all of my flaws, now I feel like I need this armor to feel feminine. Ugh. Obviously I need to keep working through it.
Skies are bright blue and the sun is shining though it feels like winter is blowing in. I should be doing chores! Enjoy your weekends!
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Brink - If it helps, my next-door neighbor is a cranky retired cop who has an aresenal of about 50 guns, he told me, and thousands upon thousands of rounds of ammo. He accidentally shot a hole through this own dining room table. Probably wouldn’t have bought the house if I’d known, but I love this little house and I figure if it can happen in my beautiful old neighborhood, it can probably happen anywhere. All that to say, if you can avoid adding the stress of moving mid-chemo and surgeries, I would.
KK - a friend from an earlier group showed me her hair 2 1/2 PFC and I was really encouraged. I don’t like bald, but I would take the cool crew cut she had by that time. I have to trust that it’s just going to take adjusting our concepts about ourselves and growing to really love our bodies again. I hope tos Taxol continues to go well for you.
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Piksie, my aunt too is a BC survivor, 12+ years now. It is funny that she too can’t remember much about her journey or diagnosis. I don’t think I will ever forget...
I am on day 7 of my last infusion, also on last dosage of steroid. I have not been able to sleep much with this damn med and feel wired during the day, I look forward to have a decent sleep soon. Oh, I took a half dosage of ambient last two nights, nope, it didn’t help with my sleep. Without Neulasta this last round, I feel like I bounced back rather quickly (or it might had been the steriod). I didn’t care for the bone pain, but of course my 5 years old is coughing again, so I am preparing myself to catch whatever it is that she has.
The rashes happened on day 8 last round, so I am walking on the eggshell hoping that it doesn’t happen again.
All of you are inspirational. I am glad to be part of this wonderful (yet difficult) group.
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KK2018 – my burritos usually start with leftover Thanksgiving turkey or a rotisserie chicken, then the sky's the limit. Some of my staples: stuffing, rice, beans, onions, green chili, jalepeno, enchilada sauce, cream of _____, cheese. Sometimes I stuff them with veggies, just to make sure kids don't eat them all. The most important thing is to have a quality tortilla (wraps tight without breaking or tearing) and someone who can master saran wrap to make it air-tight. Then I have a quick snack/meal for months, depending on how many veggies I put in them.
Wanderweg, I missed your Tamoxifen remark. I took it Jan '16 to Jul '18 and had little to no SEs. I hope you find the same, and I hope it is more effective!
JNKK, hope you're still rash-free today!
BoE, glad they found your crazy neighbor! If it were me, I would wait until after AC to move as it is so unpredictable. But house shopping is fun for me. I'd be all over that now! J
So Taxol infusion went really well, Taxol SEs have not. All I've heard is that it's "easier", so I was completely surprised by the bone pain that started Friday (day 3) and is luckily letting up today. I read that Percocet was not effective for Taxol bone pain, but it allowed me to sleep. I've started taking L-Glutamine as a possible preventative measure and will cross my fingers. Three more to go…. I've been reading forward to have some realistic expectations and it's kind of kicked me in the gut. (bone pain, neuropathy, hair regrowth, radiation and all its lovely gifts, long-term SEs, etc) The timeline just keeps getting longer. I guess hobbling around all weekend has left me susceptible to feeling sorry for myself. I need to snap out of it and invest in some quality fake lashes.
Love and peace to you all! xoxo
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JNKK - You're at the end of Day 8 now - any sign of a rash?
Piksie - I was thinking about your aunt. My mom had BC 25 years ago and did lumpectomy, chemo and radiation (and then a local recurrence 20 years ago and did a mastectomy with flap reconstruction), and she has fairly clear memories of it. She still talks about the chemo nurses and about how tired she used to be when she was teaching while going through treatments. So maybe memory loss is really variable. Or maybe some people don't want to remember and push it from their minds. And thanks about the Tamoxifen - that's encouraging. I start mine on 12/01. I took L-Glutamine throughout myTC infusions and never had any issues with neuropathy.
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KK2018, Wanderweg and Piksie - Thank you for your advice! Personally I don’t have anything against responsible individuals keeping guns, but this was someone making loads of untraceable guns and had no permits to own any. And since he and his families have been living in the same block for decades I doubt they’ll move... Sigh. I think emotionally it is harder as I stay home a lot more than before, so having this at the back of my mind is just not pleasant. I must say though, house-shopping (online anyway) is rather fun. It’s funny that I have new preferences in mind now, like having bedroom on the same level as everything else! I guess my mind is still rather occupied with chemo SEs. Yikes.
Piksie - I think the bone pain is from the other meds, not really Taxol itself. I'm taking Abraxane (a form of Taxol) with no other pre-meds and haven't had any bone pain.
JNKK - How are you doing?
Today my MO decided to lower my Taxol dosage by 20% because she doesn’t want my neuropathy to get worse and I’m on #11 out of 12 anyway. It was kind of a bummer as I wanted to go full-on until the end. But reading about long-term effects of neuropathy does give me pause. She assessed me as a grade 2 right now (moderate symptoms limiting some activities). Given how I’m feeling now I do think I’ll fully recover from this some weeks from now. Numbness in my fingers and toes do not bother me much.
On forgetting, I do consider it a blessing. But I’m writing everything down and putting them in a binder, in case I need this info in the future...
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BoE, clinically, it's referred to as "Paclitaxel (Taxol)-induced myalgias and arthralgias" or "Taxane Acute Pain Syndrome" http://www.theoncologynurse.com/jhop-issue-archive/2017-issues/jhop-june-2017-vol-7-no-2/17180-a-taxing-consequence-taxane-acute-pain-syndrome and is quite common with Dose Dense Taxol. The only other med I'm taking is Gabapentin for hot flashes, which coincidentally is often used to treat this pain. So hopefully that and Glutamine will provide some relief for my next three infusions. I'm glad to hear that you have not been affected by it. It's one I wouldn't mind forgetting.
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Piksie - Sorry I didn’t realize you are on DD. As you build up gabapentin level in your body hopefully it can better counter the bone pain next time.
I read somewhere that melatonin may help prevent neuropathy too but I never got to try. Hope it can help you.0 -
Hi All - 2nd weekly taxol on Monday and so far so good - other than infusion day I don't have any "down" days (yet). Piksie - before I finished AC I reviewed the weekly taxol versus the DD with my MO in the hopes that I could do DD - I would finish before the holidays, I would have my week off like I did with AC - it just seemed more manageable than doing this weekly for 12 weeks. He talked me out of it bc of the reduced SEs and exact same efficacy. If you are miserable maybe you can discuss switching it to weekly? I know the SEs are cumulative but so far I feel so much better than I did with AC. Thanks for the burrito tips - I think I will wrap up a few dozen to have as quick meals when I'm just not in the mood to cook!
A woman I know from my children's school was diagnosed a few years ago and I reached out to her to discuss when I was diagnosed. She literally could not remember anything - she didn't know the size of her tumor or the drugs she took - but she did remember that she had positive nodes (but doesn't know how many) and had to do radiation - she kept saying, I'm not sure - you'd have to ask my husband. I still shake my head in disbelief - I guess some people really are able to block it all from their minds. My brain doesn't work that way!
Met with my PS today and he thinks my frankenboobs look "good" and don't need additional fills - I agreed with him, and then he looked over at my husband asked him if he thought they were big enough (they are significantly smaller than they were when they were mine) and I literally cut him off and told him it doesn't matter what my husband thinks. I was laughing but seriously - what year is it - 1965? And my PS is probably in his early 30's so it isn't like he is from an older generation! Oh well. I'm glad that I have fewer doctors appointments to deal with since I don't go back to him until radiation starts. I'm starting to get used to these TEs that I will be stuck with until 2020! HA.
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Brink - I can understand that making you uncomfortable. Hope you find a place you like and are able to move when you are ready.
KK - I can't believe your PS asked your husband's opinion on your breast size! I'd have cut him off, too! I actually asked my husband his opinion after my second fill - not to let him decide but I was curious about what he thought. He told me it shouldn't matter what he thought, and I'd be beautiful no matter what. Smart guy!
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Hello everyone,
I apologize for my absence but life took over, seems like I got into the rhythm of the AC treatments and was working as much as possible because I have to be mindful of my FMLA due to the heart surgery on the horizon. I get my first taxol treatment tomorrow and I’m a little freaked. It was nice to jump back on and read through the last five pages or so. I found everyone’s comments so reassuring. Many of my fears were calmed by previous posts. Still nervous though. Wondering whether to ice or not to ice- not so warm and fuzzy hear in the Chicagoland area, they may look at me weird in the infusion room, but I really don’t care. How has everyone tolerated the dexamethasone they take prior to the treatment? That seems like an awful lot to me. I’m supposed to wake up at 2:30 in the morning and take 40 mg and then Dallas with another 40 at 8:30 tomorrow. I guess it’s better than the possible side effects.
Congratulations to everyone his finished treatment. Kudos to those of you who are still hanging tough.
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@anxiouslady -I have a 55 lb mutt, and she keeps me honest by demanding long walks and poop-scooping. I've heard that through chemo you should let someone else handle animal waste... but I've ignored it. I wash my hands very thoroughly, and am careful to wash my hands after playing with the dog as well. We cuddle lots, no problems yet.
I did buy a robot vacuum to help keep the dog fur at bay. I don't miss vacuuming at all
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Hi all, today is day 11 and I am rash free! I waited to be sure before I tell everyone that I am fine. I was on steroid for 7 days. I barely slept and was able to function, I felt like a super human! But now after the last dosage on Monday, I am crashing. I feel so tired and my muscles are sore. I've learned that steroid and I are not friends!
My left boob has been swelling since chemotherapy and I have been complaining to my MO, so last time we met, she went ahead and set up an ultrasound appointment for me. It was nerve wrecking. The tech left the room in the middle of the ultrasound, I freaked out! After she was done, she told me to wait for her to speak to radiologist, and I waited for a long time which felt like an eternity. While I was lying there, so many bad thoughts went through my head... I honestly don't know what I would do if I received any bad news. Luckily, no bad news here.
Tigerlily, how are you doing lately? I hope everyone are doing well and have a better handle with the side effects. Sending lots of love to you worriors!
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JNKK - So glad you got through with no rash and no bad news! I have also had swelling on my surgery side with each chemo and no one seems to know why. It is hard not to think the worst!
Thanks Sue, KK and everyone for your kind and wise words. I am feeling better emotionally now -- of course just in time for my next round of AC. At least it's the last so I can hold onto that going in.
How is everyone on taxol doing? M-and-M, that sounds like an awful lot of steroids!! Is that standard??
On the body image front, I've found this process has paradoxically made me more accepting of my body. What did it for me was having to choose between no reconstruction and implants in both breasts because apparently the healthy one is too small to create a match otherwise. Before this I had always thought I wished I had bigger breasts, but when it came right down to it I discovered I was actually quite attached to them as-is (no pun intended!). Relatedly, I thought I needed to lose the 10 pounds I gained a few years ago, but being told I was too thin for autologous reconstruction made me look at my body differently. Turns out I feel ok with my small boobs (well, boob now) and an extra 10 pounds. That said, sexuality is a different story. I applaud anyone who is maintaining any kind of sex life through this. When the specialist nurse gave me the guidelines for double-condom wearing in the first 48 hours after the infusion I burst out laughing! I miss it, but am holding onto the idea that this is a temporary phase of treatment that will pass. And what I wouldn't give for even a consistent quarter inch of my own hair!!
Hope everyone is hanging in there x
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Hello everyone, bouncing back on day 9 of 3rd TC round. This round was harsher. Had body ache n bone pain till yday. Today feeling better. I also observed that emotionally i was a wreak this time. Was either sad, hyper, irritated or frustrated most of the time. Got angry on my 7 yr old many times and later thought why did i do that. Hope this treatment will leave me as me at the end.
Tigerlilly and wanderweg, thanks for your views on the surgery. Personal experiences are so helpful in decision making. I met with surgeon and radiologist. Radiologist confirmed that they have newer techniques which will not even touch heart. Surgeon said both options are good though with mastectomy recurrence chances are slightly less. But there is no comparable data available to see results after 40 yrs for both options(considering im 40 and avg women life expectancy is 80/85). Going to meet plastic surgeon and then will decide. Good news is, surgeon confirmed that tumor is responding v well to chemo and shrinking significantly!! Yeey, something good is coming out of all the pain.
BoE, you are brave to even think of moving during the treatment. There are many days when i dont even feel like getting up from bed. I agree with other ladies, if you can wait and avoid the stress for now, that will help treatment and healing.
Piksie, JNKk and wanderweg, good to read about the first hand survival stories. It is encouraging and gives hope. Thanks for sharing.
Piksie, hope the bone pain is not troubling you anymore. I think taxol is same as taxotere. I take claritin n advil for bone pain. But could never avoid it.
Kk2018, those experiences ( both, about the lady and PS response) are amazing. Both made me wonder how ppl respond uniquely depending on their individuality.
Jnkk, good to know that you are rash-free and that ultrasound went find. I can relate to how you must have felt. I had same experience when they did my lymph node ultrasound before starting this treatment. Every min felt like ages!!
Beeline, wishing no/minimal SEs for last AC round. You are so articulative about your thoughts. Well done, knowing and accepting what we think/believe in makes every decision worthwhile. I am currently in the process of finding it out as i decide on surgery.
Wishing everyone good weekend, Hugs n strength....
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MandM - How as your first taxol? I only had 20 mg dexamethasone with my TC infusions. It’s interesting how much the protocols vary
JNKK - I think the shadow of recurrence will hang over us for a long time. Maybe forever. It’s hard not to wonder if any change is a bad sign.
Beeline - I’d have laughed at the nurse, too. I can’t even think about sex in the first week after chemo. I just feel too cruddy. But I’m in a relatively new marriage (diagnosed right before our second anniversary) so I try to stay connected physically. Took me almost two weeks after the last round, though - I just wanted sleep more!
Being Positive - very good news about the tumor shrinkage! I hope the plastic surgery consult is helpful. How many TC rounds are you doing?
I met with the local breast cancer support group last night I was the “newest” person there so it’s interesting to hear how people are doing a year or more out from chemo. It was a good reminder to me to be patient with my healing - it’s going to be a long process. I had my pre-anesthesia testing appointment yesterday and the nurse decided my chemo bloodwork would be enough, so yay to not having an extra stick. I’m good to go for my ankle surgery and hoping it will fix the damage done during my reconstruction. Nerve damage in my ankle surely wins some sort of most bizarre side effect award
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Has anyone gotten a cold and or cough during chemo? I have 3 small kids and they got me sick. Not sure if I can take cold medicine. I plan to reach out to my doctor but I wanted to inquire here. Good thing is no fever just head congestion and cough. Chest feels a little tight. Being sick sucks
I get my next chemo on Tuesday so hoping i get better by then.
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morning,
The first taxol is ok so far. Pretty different from the AC. I mostly feel fatigue and some tingling in my fingers and toes. My mind is kind of convincing me that my big toenail is going to come off. Probably not though. Although I’m sure there’s more to come. I did have a bit of a reaction during the infusion. Towards the end I was hot flashing and had a rash on my throat. But they gave me some more steroids and everything seemed OK. I think I’m getting towards the tipping point now that Ive been in chemo for nearly 2 months now. I feel like I’m kind of a ghost.
This too shall pass I imagine
Wanderweg-Beeline-You are right about protocols varying from region to region. I often wish I was in a warmer fuzzier place than Chicago land. It’s pretty old-school here. If I wasn’t nearly finished with my chemo, three more treatments, I might change MOs-He’s been really kind of a jerk the last few times I’ve seen him. He even rubbed my boyfriend the wrong way this last time which was pretty out of the ordinary. I’m glad you’re moving forward with your ankle surgery.
Do any of you feel like you’re completely a hostage to the situation? Earlier on someone told me that you can’t control what’s going on in your life after a cancer diagnosis, all you can do is try to manage it. Thats what I’ve been trying to do with mixed success.
I agree on the sex thing. Number one it’s hard to even look in the mirror let alone feel desirable- honestly I don’t even feel like this is my real body anymore, not really in tune with that at all. My guy is wonderful and so so patient, so I try and show up for sex for his sake every couple of weeks. It is what it is. But this too shall pass- I just keep telling myself to break this into small pieces. I think it’s the only way I can really move forward.
Any advice on neuropathy? Don’t like anything pressing down on the top of my feet. Doesn’t really hurt but it’s like it’s on the edge of pain. It’s wintertime here so I can’t go with open toed shoes- maybe I’ll try the UGGs.
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KK2018 - Wow, your PS made me doubt whether we have made any progress at all in the past decades.
JNKK - So glad to hear you are rash-free! Congrats for finishing!
Sunocean - I did catch a cold from my 3yo who had been coughing in my face for days. I asked my MO and she said I can take cough medication like Robitussin or Mucinex, etc. Hope this helps.
BeingPositive - I’m not sure if I’m brave or just plain ignorant. I assumed with the AC “off” weeks I’ll be able to do some moving. But maybe not.
Do people need to take days off after AC infusion? Or did you work through them?
Next Monday will be my last Taxol (#12!) before my surgery! I can’t wait. Honestly weekly Taxol hasn’t been that bad. With my reduced dose this week the neuropathy has gotten better. Some of my nails are starting to lift, but my MO doesn’t think they’ll fall off as I only have 1 more to go. Athough some people say their hair start to grow back during Taxol, mine certainly have not. And by the time my hair starts growing after this I’ll have surgery and then AC during which I’ll lose them again. I don’t think I’ll start feeling normal for a long while...
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wanderweg, my last 4th TC round is on 27th. Then would be done with one part of the treatment And will have surgery. How are you feeling after the treatment completion? Must be relieved. How did your ankle nerve got damaged with reconstruction? Hope that surgery goes well. Wishing you the best.
Sunocean, how are you doing now? Did MO suggest any medication for cold and cough? I was given flushot along with my second TC infusion. Wishing you speedy recovery and minimal SEs for upcoming infusion.
MandM37, are you icing your feet and hands during infusion? I have been doing that to avoid neuropathy issues from taxotere. Also taking B6 throughout chemo. My MO suggested it and seems it helps in avoiding neuropathy. Thankfully have not faced it in past 3 rounds.
BoE, good to know that your neuropathy got better. Few days back we were discussing about starting chemo and our fears around it. Now few of us are already done and your taxol is almost done. Yes, it feels like a long tiring journey before we get back to life.These wonderful ladies and everyone’s support will take us through. Hang in there....
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Hi all....checking in.
M-and-M, I tolerated the dexamethasone ok. I also took a lot, I believe they were 40MG and took 4 day before (2 2x a day), 2 morning of (and more in the IV), and then 2 the day after in the morning, and 1 in the afternoon, and then 1 the following morning. I didn't like them at first and they made me turn red but no rash. I think I got used to them. They did make me hungry, especially the following week. I also iced - only during the Taxotere. I've had no neuropathy so I'm thinking I'm out of the woods.
I'm 2 1/2 weeks PFC. It'll be three weeks on Wednesday. I think my hair is growing. I still have the low grade headache, fuzziness, and the biggest things are general fatigue and muscle fatigue. My legs feel like I climbed Everest and sadly I have not.
Piksie, thank you so much for posting the article about the Taxanes! That is me! I asked my oncologist about muscle fatigue and knee pain and he said he had not heard of it - but he must have thought I was saying something else, maybe about the knee pain. I'm being seen at Mass General which the article references so I'm going to print and bring with me next time I see him, though that is not until January. I also wonder how much of the pain is also water retention. Any ideas anyone? I'm up 10 lbs since July/diagnosis but my clothes fit, so not sure what is up. I do have no more excuse for steroid eating.
I got my tattoos and mapping for radiation last week. Easy. But I'm worried about ongoing fatigue with that since I still have it from chemo. We'll see, I still have two weeks to recover more.
JNKK, glad the rash situation is improved. You must be so relieved.
Have a good night and good start to the new week!
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Anxiouslady... I asked my oncologist about whether I should take steps to protect my 2 cats. One of them is quite small, and he lies on me constantly when I'm sleeping or even just sitting down. The oncologist said there was no reason at all to be concerned about them. The only warning was to be sure I flushed the toilet really well, especially because cats are interested in human litter box habits! I'm on apparently a pretty high dose of TCHP. I hope this helps!
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Sunocean: I'm 39 too. I had a double mastectomy in August with no reconstruction and am currently on round 3 of 4 of TC. I decided not to reconstruct - and while this is a very personal decision for everyone - I just wanted to let you know that I'm really happy with my decision and don't think about my breasts really at all. There's lots of great styles to wear that are sexy and feminine. Just wanted to offer my perspective and let you know I've felt very positive and happy after surgery. I think it is a hard thing to imagine and think about, also why I didn't overly think about it once I made my decision. Different is scary and concerning and sometimes inconceivable, but sometimes it just is what it is and it's all okay! Big hugs!
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BT39: thank you for your response. Means a lot to hear that. I will need 25 sessions of radiation so I'm definitely leaning more towards no reconstruction. Not interested in DIEP or any other fat grafting and due to my low blood platelets dont want to risk my life for boobs. If I didnt have this condition maybe i would think otherwise. So it's great to hear from you. I am scared to think of my life at such a young age without boobs.
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Sunocean: My surgeon did a really great job in getting me flat so I actually find my chest - though no breasts - still very attractive. It's funny, even my husband said it's not that noticeable (not having breasts). Like, not as much of a focal point as one would think. Any change is scary, for sure. I'm focusing on how amazing it is to not wear bras and other positive things though! Feel free to message me at any point in your journey if you need a pick me up!
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sun ocean and BT39, I have mentioned before here, but if you did not see it, I highly recommend the memoir “Flat” by Catherine Guthrie that was recently published. It is about her journey and part of it was her decision to not do reconstruction. My story is different but it hit home. My dad even read it and really enjoyed it and found it very helpful at explaining this disease.
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