Deciding to Go Flat . . . Maybe. Please advise.
Hey there. You all are my foob posse so I wanted to reach out to ask for your thoughts, suggestions, insights & questions on going flat. I am 95% sure that's what I'm going to do sooner than later. Meeting PS this Wed to discuss.
Can you talk it through with me? Anything I should consider before I decide? Questions I should ask? After care & prosthetic wear I may need?
I've been open about how uncomfortable I've been this last year & 1/2, but this last month I've had intermittent pain on my left side, like severe heart burn. They just don't seem right or part of me at all.
I'll discuss with Oncologist tomm too- going in to see him as well. Thank you for your support & any info or help you may provide. I appreciate all the love & guidance you've each given me.❣️
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Hi there
My experience has been wonderful. I had a bilateral mastectomy in March, 2018. I knew I was not interested in reconstruction right from the start. I'm a senior athlete and really needed to get right back into the swing of things. I've found it completely fine -- a very easy transition. It's quite a free feeling when you don't have to worry about a bra in 90-degree heat, or straps falling down, etc. I'm so comfortable with my body that when I tried on the fake boobs my sister got for me, I couldn't accept them because they no longer made me look like myself. I don't think people have the least bit of interest in looking at my chest, and if they do, well, hope they get a kick out of it! It's different for everyone, but I encourage you to do what works for you and not worry about it.
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Hi Geez,
My experience going flat has also been very positive. I had a BMX with no reconstruction mid August and have been going flat ever since. Have not had a single comment, question or even a second glance - at least not that I have noticed. This week I went to a specialty store and bought foobs, mastectomy bras and a swimsuit that will hold the breast forms. Tried wearing the foobs for a while today and like MDRR, I felt like... "not me" or something, don't know how to describe it! Kind of wishing I hadn't bothered, but at least I have the option now (certain items of clothing just don't hang right without them, if you are a person who cares about that kind of thing).
FYI, if you go that route, the prosthetics from Amoena come in a firm or looser style (I picked the firmer ones as I figured why go back to being saggy!) and of course they come in different sizes. I have also ordered the swimming foobs, which are similar but apparently they don't float like the daily wear ones. (The lady who fitted me says she has heard of women losing regular forms that got away and floated out to sea, not sure how likely that is.) The bras have pockets into which you stuff the forms. I thought I might be able to use some of my old bras but the forms are quite heavy and you wouldn't want them shifting around in a bra without pockets. You can also get camisoles or tank tops with built in pockets to hold the forms, which look pretty comfy.
Don't have any insight re: the change from foobs to flat, but I can say that my recovery from BMX seemed very straightforward compared to some of the reconstruction stories I have read about.
How did your meeting with the PS go? Hope you got all the info you need to make your decision. Keep us posted.
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i had a BMX 18 months ago and have been flat ever since. I don't miss having boobs and I hate foobs! Love the freedom i have now!
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Thank you for your sweet reply, I appreciate your insights and experience. I booked my explant surgery for next Thursday! Can't even wait. I will keep you posted and may have further logistical questions down the road. All my best!
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Thank you! I appreciate all your great advice, insights and experience.
I booked my explant surgery for next Thursday! Can't even wait. A little nervous but overall excited it's happening sooner than later.
I will keep you posted and may have further logistical questions down the road. All my best0 -
Thank you! I appreciate all your great advice, insights and experience.
I booked my explant surgery for next Thursday! Can't even wait. A little nervous but overall excited it's happening sooner than later.
I will keep you posted and may have further logistical questions down the road. All my best0 -
I had a bmx without reconstruction. The first time I went out after surgery I bumped into someone I know and she remarked how good I looked and wanted to know how I lost weight. I said I lost it quickly one morning. She didn’t understand and I had to say I’m flat (I had a buttoned down plaid shirt on). She felt embarrassed until I thanked her for the compliment
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That's hilarious-- I hope I end up looking like I've lost weight too. Thank you for sharing.
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I’ve been flat for 6 years. I wear what I want, no foobs, ever. The only problems I’ve had is getting called siroccasionally. My hair is very short, and when the clerk calls me sir, I growl back, that’s ma’m to you.
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I have not missed mine at all, nor the perspiration around and under them.
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JoyceA, LOL. That's a good one liner to make us laugh. My twin sister said I looked like I'd lost two dress sizes after my surgery.
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I had BMX 6 yrs ago with no reconstruction. I had considered it because I had large breasts my whole life. I researched a lot & made the very personal decision to not have reconstruction. I have not regretted that decision once. My surgery & recovery were a breeze. It is a personal decision. I just know I made the right one for me.
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liza- I had a BMX in January of 2018 without reconstruction. I have no regrets. It's been a year since diagnosis and recovery and treatment has went relatively well. You really need to see it
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I’m in the same boat!! I hate these things..... they HURT..... my skin is so tight, I feel like there are two ticks on my chest! I really want them GONE... but am hesitant to undergo another surgery... and risk knicking a vocal chord and losing my livelihood. They make my skin ITCH! ......... I’m so on the fence here
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I had to get a mastectomy at age 35. I am annoyed I had to lose my breasts still in my prime and while "hot" and in shape etc... but VERY glad I don't have any fake objects in my chest or that I didn't ruin other areas of my body to make a fat mound. I don't think about it 95% of the time. Wish I had known this was coming so I could have enjoyed my breasts more. It's a sexual loss either way - recon or not. Just make sure you get a surgeon who will give you nice results and not leave extra skin. Personally I have a small torso/ribcage so flat looks decent with my body type. Larger women seem to struggle more, especially if they have a belly etc. But then maybe just wear prosthesis to balance it out. I have a lot of friends who I haven't told about my health issues and they don't even notice. People are more prone to stare at tits than lack of them. Most people are self absorbed and not even paying attention to other people's bodies. I also like not having a wall of fake breast between myself and another person when we hug. I sleep on my stomach too, so glad I don't have to deal with any of that. Reconstructed breasts don't look that good to me and I felt they were an insult to my real, perfect breasts so I was like hell nah
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I did a lot of research before I made my decision. Spoke with my surgeon and saw a plastic surgeon, but after hearing what they would do, nope....
Also saw a friend who just had recon and she was very open about showing me her results. They looked nice but fake. She mentioned she hated feeling them move when she vacuumed, slept and that they were cold (temp) on her. I had a radiologist consult (pre surgery so I could decide lumpectomy or bmx) and the receptionist had recon. She dragged me into a waiting room to show me results. I almost cried because she had not had nipples reconstructed or tattooed and the whole thing looked extremely negative/ugly/amputee-like...fill in the blank. It sealed my decision.
Now that there are more and more studies coming out about secondary cancers from implants, it makes me happy I didn't put my body through it.
When the drains came out and I was able to wear my usual clothing (yes, everything still fit, albeit a bit loose/not ideal, but wearable), my husband said I looked 10 years younger (not matronly). My boobs were fairly large. My friend who had the recon had small breasts originally. Maybe we want what we never had.
I miss my breasts and I miss the nipple sensation but I do not miss lugging around D cups or being gawked at.0 -
Like wallycat says, maybe some of us always want what we never had. I had large, matronely breast before BMX and I did not want back the inconvenience. I also appear younger without them and I can move freely. People don't realize I don't have breasts until I tell them. Then they are perplexed and I get comments like "Wow, you look so normal, I don't know why, but you do!" I do wear sports bra always, which give me a slight shape. I wear it for protection, as chest area us still painful.
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I had 2 small breasts in 2014 when diagnosed and a tumor in the right breast, so I had right-breast mastectomy and kept the left. With my Triple-Negative BC diagnosis, the consensus is if I have a recurrence it will probably not be in other breast. At the time of surgery, my surgeon suggested double mastectomy and recon, but I had a sick husband, and nobody to take care of both of us while I recovered, so I just had one breast removed, the end. I now wear a prosthetic bra most of the time if I go out for the day or night, just to fill out clothing, while at home and just out and about locally I don't wear it.
My DIL had double mastectomy and recon, but had a looong recovery time. She had husband and 2 children tending to her and lots of neighbors bringing food. I do miss my missing small breast, but just didn't seem the right thing to do at the time, and I don't regret my decision.
Be well! Mary
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I had 2 small breasts in 2014 when diagnosed and a tumor in the right breast, so I had right-breast mastectomy and kept the left. With my Triple-Negative BC diagnosis, the consensus is if I have a recurrence it will probably not be in other breast. At the time of surgery, my surgeon suggested double mastectomy and recon, but I had a sick husband, and nobody to take care of both of us while I recovered, so I just had one breast removed, the end. I now wear a prosthetic bra most of the time if I go out for the day or night, just to fill out clothing, while at home and just out and about locally I don't wear it.
My DIL had double mastectomy and recon, but had a looong recovery time. She had husband and 2 children tending to her and lots of neighbors bringing food. I do miss my missing small breast, but just didn't seem the right thing to do at the time, and I don't regret my decision.
Be well! Mary
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For those who opted out of reconstruction, which I did, how did scars heal? Would anything help me now? (surgery Nov 2016). Cancer left breast (dense lumpy breast), and I opted to have right one removed as well, even though the surgeon said there was no medical reason to do that, but it was my choice, and many women do bi-lateral. 2 lymph nodes removed left side. The left side healed well, but I still have a red streak on right side. I've wondered if that has anything to do with being right handed, and maybe that side was to active? I am fairly active. I declared I would get monarchs to replace the breasts, but still have not gotten a torso tattoo. Tattoo shop said I should wait 1-2 years after surgery, that it would take at least 4 hours, and maybe 2 days, depending on my tolerance. I feel shy in the locker room and no longer shower in communal area, but usually at home. I use bathroom stall to change shirts. I take a number of supplements/vitamins.
2009 ER+ left breast. 52 yrs. Lumpectomy, Sentinal node removal, negative. Radiation 6 weeks, tamoxifen 5 years. Dense lumpy left breast, normal right. Acupuncture offered at facility as part of integrative medicine. It really helped with anxiety/stress during radiation treatment.
2016 ER+ left breast. Probably a new cancer, but unknown. 4 rounds TC Aug-Oct 2016, Bi-lateral (my choice) Nov 2016, no reconstruction. 2 sentinal nodes remove, negative. Cold Capping using CHemo Cold Caps (DIGNICAP not available). Anastrozole 1 mg starting May 2017. Joint issues noticed immediately. Stopped Anastrozole after 3-4 months do to joint stiffness in. After several months of no AIs, fingers were feeling better. Started tamoxifen March 2018
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Hello BlueGirlRedState,
I don't think the right side is not as sightly because you move a lot. I do, too, and scars on both sides look fairly equally healed. I read very often that the non-cancer side does not look as pleasing and does not heal as well as the cancer side. Knowing that double mastectomies are done simultaneously by two surgeons to minimize time under anesthetic, I would surmise the more experienced surgeon does the cancer side to make sure this is done the best possible way. On the other side someone gets to practice...
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I have decided on a double breast mastectomy no reconstruction and in the back of my mind keep thinking about how i will look... What clothes to wear? What type of prosthesis do I get?
I am a big woman 5'11" who wears a 40D bra. Don't want people staring and saying 'he/she'.
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Christene,
If you wear prosthetics, you should be able to wear everything you own now except something that would show your "cleavage." Nordstrom sells prosthetics in some cities, and in Houston there are several stores that sell bras, swimsuits, prosthetics, and your insurance will pay for them--you will need to get a prescription from your doctor.
The one thing I did was request a plastic surgeon to close me to prevent dog ears and make the incisions as neat as possible. I would do that since you're not planning on reconstruction! Are you familiar with dog ears? I have a friend who has two and it affects the clothes she can wear and just bother her. Her surgeon also did an abysmal job on her incision lines. I think he was convinced she would change her mind and have reconstruction done. I can send photos of a dog ear I found online to show my doctors what I did NOT WANT (my friend's are worse than this). For what it's worth, even though I had a plastic surgeon close me, I do have two prominences on either side--even though my surgeon said I was too thin to have a real problem with dog ears. I used to think they would become smaller over time but now that it's been two months, I think this is the way they'll be unless I have revision surgery. I needed to remove one breast and not two--but ultimately chose two for symmetry reasons, which was very important to me. I have not regretted that. I am undergoing radiation right now. If I had one breast, I'd have to wear a bra--but without, I don't--and boy would I be in agony given my current state of lobster. My preference is to wear a bra where I'm with people who know me, but it's getting to the point where I might not be able to very much longer, at least temporarily. I have ¼-½" of hair growing back from chemo, so you'd think between that and flat-chestedness, people would notice, but I can honestly say that I've never noticed anyone staring at my chest. I do have people stop me and tell me they love my haircut! Funny enough, I've never worn short hair, and I may never go back--though maybe not this short.
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Beesy
First let me start off by saying good luck with your radiation treatments. Hope it goes smoothly for you... I do need to read up on that myself. Being after surgery, I will be have Radiation myself...
My oncologist said I could always have reconstruction down the road if I wanted....Never mentioning "dog Ears". Which I do not want at all. No flap for me. Personally that would make me ill seeing that.
My Breast Surgeon will be doing the surgery. He did not mention plastic surgeon at all... Should this concern me? My BS did put in a port in my chest... Looks great. Plus he did three biopsies and can't see any marks on my boob.
I haven't had chemo even though Drs first though I was, that's why I have the port. They read the scans after the port was put in only to find out it wasn't necessary being my cancer spread to my bone and chest wall. They assured me that maybe one day it will be used for chemo, as the last resort... Been on IBrance and letrozole 18 months now.0 -
Hi I just had a double mastectomy 14 days ago I went flat and am staying that way. I suggest definitely discussing dog ears with your surgeon though I think they are inevitable, however some are worse than others. I showed my surgeon pics of them she knew what they were and that I didn't want that she is the Chief of surgery at one of the leading cancer centers in the country. My left side the non cancer side and the bigger of the 2 boobs a c - d cup has a lump of skin like a dog ear. I am still swollen a bit and it is not a big dog ear flapping over but yea it is probably going to need a nip-tuck. Remember that the bigger your boobs are the more chance you are going to have of getting them. Bessy that posted above me was sooo right about everything. I know someone that was a AA cup she had a general surgeon and no dog ears...why...bc she was extremely flat to begin with. So my personal opinion is that even if you have a plastic surgeon...you will probably have some residual extra lump of fat, skin, dog ear... something like that , that may eventually need a nip tuck. If you don't awesome but go into it knowing you may then if you don't great
I get the whole he/she look. I am tiny though 5 foot 110 lbs. so I have been buying great flat fashion friendly clothes from the Loft all their models are flat
They have petite and plus sizes so its great. I find their clothes very feminine. Just look for very feminine clothes and I do not think you will have the he/she issue.Good luck!
Nicole
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Christene, you would have to ask for a plastic surgeon--but insurance will pay. My breast surgeon did my first surgery in 1997 and he did the actual mastectomies this time, but I asked for a plastic surgeon to close. He had done a beautiful job on my first surgery, but I felt that asking for a PS to close gave me the best hope for an attractive outcome. I still did not fully prevent dog ears. If you can't already tell, it's a touchy subject with me and I hope to help others prevent them if possible, or get the best outcome.
Last thing: my PS said the same to me--I could always have reconstruction later. But I am 99.5% certain I will not do that, told her that, but I think THAT is why they leave the dog ears there.
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Jedrik - My Oncologist assured me that a training surgeon was not involved , since the facility was not a training facilityand that it was the same surgeon for both sides. Other than the redness, the non-cancer side seem to heal the same as the cancer side. She also wondered if my right-handness and maybe overuse during healing contributed. She said it looked as if sutures had not completely healed before being stressed. I thnk I did shovel snow that winter. She said I could probably get a plastic surgeon to "fix" it, but I don't think I want to go through any more surgery. No dog ears as some have described. So, if I go forward with a tattoo, I will ask the artist to considered that in the design.
2009 ER+ left breast. 52 yrs. Lumpectomy, Sentinal node removal, negative. – 1. Radiation 6 weeks, tamoxifen 5 years. Dense lumpy left breast, normal right. Acupuncture offered at facility as part of integrative medicine. It really helped with anxiety/stress during radiation treatment.
2016 ER+ left breast. Probably a new cancer, but unknown. 4 rounds TC Aug-Oct 2016, Bi-lateral (my choice) Nov 2016, no reconstruction. 2 sentinal nodes remove, negative. Cold Capping using Chemo Cold Caps (DIGNICAP not available). Anastrozole 1 mg starting May 2017. Joint issues noticed immediately. Stopped Anastrozole after 3-4 months do to joint stiffness in. After several months of no AIs, fingers were feeling better. Started tamoxifen March 2018
10/2018 noticed stiffness and some trigger finger again. Was eating meat a lot more (daily) than normal. Usually 1-2 /wk. Have cut way back on the meat, seems to help, but one finger still very prone to trigger finger. 2/2019, trigger finger and stiffness much better.
Supplements: GAIA turmeric-joint; glucosamine-chondroitin; magnesium glycinate; biotin; potassium-iodine; low dose calcium; C; B-complex ; D; Fish oil (but not now). For a year or so after bi-lateral used Juven Nutritional therapy for wound healing with 7g arginine, 7g glutamine. Often add turmeric to meals. Ran out of fish oil supplement that I liked, other brand caused fish burps, so have not taken for a while.
Exercise very regularly, if not at the gym, then walk/hike, x-country ski, weights, stretch, swim etc
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Beesy and NicoleRod
I don't understand why the surgeon can not remove the "Dog Ear' while he/she is performing the mastectomy? That you need to go back and have a 'revision'. It doesn't make sense to me... Why not get it over at one time?....
My Breast Surgeon is the Chief of Breast Surgery & Director of the Breast Health Center at a local hospital. I decided to go with him being My second opinion was at Sloan, where they treated me poorly, not going into details.
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I too am thinking about explant surgery, so I am very interested in what is involved. When the f'ing plastic surgeon convinced me to get the silicon implants she said if I didn't like them they could just "pop" them out. At this point I understand that to likely be a gross oversimplification. There is the scar tissue in there (the capsule) and my poor pectoral moscules have been stretched beyond all reason. What should i expect afterward for recovery (not just from the sutures, darn doctors think that is "recovery"). How much PT will I need etc? Tell us how it went Geez Already! thanks.
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Christene, all I can say is that I did everything humanly possible to prevent these, and while I did not get the extreme version as in the photo I originally PM'd you, they are still an issue. When I asked my breast surgeon whether I could have a PS in there to close while we had the army in there to do it with so that I could avoid having to come back for a revision surgery, I thought I was preemptively dealing with it. As I said to you in my PM, there was a man with breast cancer on this forum who had a dog ear, so that says to me that they are harder to prevent than I might want to think. As soon as I heal from radiation, I'll be visiting my breast surgeon. By this point, after knowing each other for 22 years, at least I'll get a straight answer from him about reasonable expectations. Surgeons make women into men surgically now. Is it too much for me to expect a smoother, more attractive result? By the way, I'm being treated at MD Anderson which is supposed to be the #1 cancer center in America and my PS is a M.D. PhD. I am very pleased with my care at MD Anderson but very unhappy about these dog ears I tried to prevent!
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