Starting Chemo July 2019
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shelligirl it is def hard! And trying to keep our normal lives up at the same time. But we have a great group of women, sisters, and fighters. I am glad I am able to walk this walk and this journey with y’all! I am glad we are here to help, listen, and encourage one another.
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Same JJ- hoping all is well with Maggie and Diane and looking forward to posts saying the BS got everything that needed to be gotten !
Shell yes we have to educate and advocate for ourselves. Many advances and studies coming out all the time - like some allergies meds - like Claritin might help reduce reoccurance . So I take a Claritin every day - doesn’t hurt to try. --Victoria
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I’m done. No more Taxol. NP said 12 is a “suggested” number and 9 is the magic number for me. Neuropathy and other side effects so bad she said we stop. Getting fluids today for dehydration. See the Dr again Dec 5 to talk surgery. 🙌🙌
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OMG MELMAX THAT IS WONDERFUL NEWS!!!! IM SOOOOOO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!
2019whatayear wow I didn’t know that about the Claritin 😳😳 I guess I shall start taking it. Thanks for that!
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GREAT NEWS MELMAX!!
It cant hurt right JJpope? Plus I have some weird allergies. so really I should have always been taking it.
I finished Taxol #9 today just 3 more to go!
Hope everyone has a great night!
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2019whatyear - I am right there with you - it seems we are literally one day apart on our journey! I do Taxol #9 tomorrow then the home stretch!
This week has been a bad one - I have tried to keep my spirits up but the depression has grabbed a hold of me and is ruling the roost. I have fears that the cancer has spread, that this won't be my only battle, and I will die young with a pile of regrets. I have questioned everything from how I've raised my kids, to the kind of friend I am or could be, to the quality of wife I have been. I have analyzed my career choices and hobbies (or lack of at times), to whether I could have exercised more to prevent this. Then I batter myself over what kind of changes I plan to make moving forward to live a better life with less regret - I then question if the effort is worth it because what if the cancer comes back? AND THEN THE CYCLE STARTS AGAIN. I just don't know how to not live in fear, the constant nagging that there is something I could have done to prevent this and if I don't make amends, this is my journey. I know I have posted before about one step at a time but this week, well, it's knocked me down. And I know that it is in my thoughts, change my thoughts, change my life, but is a little bit of a pity party okay at 4 months in? Lift me up Ladies - I'm stuck in the mud!
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A pity party is okay whenever, Deanders. Just don't stay in that mindset too long. With one more chemo treatment to go, I'm cycling through an irritated state of mind. Have no time for the "cancer creepers" ... those people who I haven't heard from since high school who now want to friend me on Facebook just to have a lookieloo! What??? And, no, I don't want to rehash how I'm feeling to every single person I meet and go over all the specifics of my treatment. I just want to carry on with normal life.
This article is relevant ... so VERY relevant to all we're going through:
"Now I realize what the cancer club really is. It's a real network of patients who pass advice to one another—in my experience, over social media—about how to pick treatment programs and how to deal with their side effects."
https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2019/11/10...
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2019whatayear and deanders IM SO HAPPY YOU ARE ALMOST TO THE FINISH LINE!! the last cake so fast for me and I’m hoping it will for you too!!!
deanders we love you through the good bad up and down! I can speak for myself and feel like I can for the others to say we are here to listen, love, and uplift! We all go through it, sometimes it takes longer than others to get over it, or it’s harder for some to see any positive light, or it’s hard for some to get down because they do have peace, a lot of faith, and are in a better spiritual mind at the time than others. I also believe it’s hard to do what we do when you(meaning anyone) has hard a hard road/journey prior to the cancer. I could have already written 10 best sellers about my life 😂😂 someone’s you feel like what else can I take or have to push though. We all have the right to be down and out, BUT we can’t stay there long! The brain is a terrible thing and so is the devil!! Get it out, cry, be mad, have your fear, and then rise back to the brave, strong, determined, smart woman of God that you know you are and take a step forward. Get your mind back right and keep going. 💕💕💕 I say that to you and speak to myself I promise. I have such a bad attitude right now that it sucks, but I know I can’t stay here in that attitude and I have to pull myself out of it.
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and as I type this what I think is what I need to hear and do myself I'm struggling bad! It's coming at me from ALL ANGLES! I can't catch a break and it's killing me. My home life and add this mess to it. But I do what I do best keep it in and I'm at my breaking point. I've always been the one that I can help others and give good advise but can't help myself
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jjpope1 - that sounds like me - I am able to lift others but not myself. Often the things I post are things I need to hear myself, just as much as they are things to help you guys. I find myself reading back over my own posts just to hear it again and again. I go for Taxol #9 in about 2 hours and this week is a week that I meet with my MO. I still find myself pissed that he is leaving - not because I love him and his plan - but because I don't want to hear his sh*t. What does he care? How does the advice he gives today matter? He won't be here for the outcome. So I want to go in there and tell him the things that are troubling me, but then I think why bother? Shouldn't I be meeting with the MO that will take your place? The one that will be there to tell me if it's spread or if our relationship is now less? It's not that I don't trust him and what he says, it just feels less invested, more of the cattle call cookie cutter patient #XYZ123 instead of the wife, mother, friend, co-worker, sister, daughter etc that I am. I often think that I need to start seeing a counselor, which isn't a bad idea, but I have been through counseling over the years and know the tricks and tips to being present, CBT, self talk, the whole sha-bang and know that it will just be me venting, them listening, giving some advice and off I going to battle with myself in private. I don't know what my ears need to hear, how much sleep will actually help, what to eat or drink to find a balance that stays with me and the harder I look the more frustrated I get. I just want this tumor out of my body and want to hear that my nodes are clear. I think it's the unknown that hangs like a cloud over all of us.
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I totally get it!
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So I'm still in hospital after DIEP surgery on Wednesday. I'm recovering okay, but was bed-bound the first 24 hours. That part really sucks! I have one drain, a front close bra and an abdominal compression garment which is as medieval as it sounds! The girdle has to remain on for 2-4 weeks, 24/7 (except for showers). Ye gads! I will go home either tomorrow or Sunday morning.
Diane0 -
So glad to see you post and it went well!!! You’ve been on my mind!! I hope you continue to do well and get to go home soon 💕💕
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Diane - thanks for posting!!!! I hope you get to go home soon!
Britgirls - ONE MORE TO GO! Awesome!!!!! I will check out that article.
Deanders- re the post about should you have done this or that. The more I read and the more I go thru this cancer season/ new chapter in my life etc etc. The less I feel that we should blame ourselves or lifestyle choices for the cancer. What do people think when a man has prostate cancer? Is it due to a lifestyle choice or is it due to being a man who is aging? Right? So I think BC same thing overall. Some of us have bad genes and some of it is due to age and some of it is due to the diagnostic tests getting better so that it detects BC that might never become life threatening but the technology to tell what is life threatening and what is not. BUT far too often BC is like blamed on the person who gets it because if it's your fault then other people don't have to worry about themselves getting cancer. Ya know? I know you will feel a cloud lift once you have your surgery.
JJpope. cyberhugs. You are doing doing great.
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UpstateNYer and fairydragonfly since you have completed your treatments for a lil while now could you give us your inputs on how you're doing feeling anything that stands out that you would like to share?
My last treatment was 10/16 and the main thing I see that lingers is swelling. Mostly my stomach is the worst looking like a hippopotamus 🥴🥴(and gets worse after eating) arms hands and feet still a lil swelling. I did go back to doctor Tues or Weds and he sees the swelling but has no idea why 😡😡 and wanted to do ultrasound or endoscopy to make sure all was ok. I've started on a probiotic and think that would be great for all to help put the good stuff back into your gut that the chemo has killed. I got mine at Sams Club and even started my 13 yr old on it just for his well-being. I am nowhere as tired as I was and feel pretty much normal with that. Of course by the end of the day I'm ready to call it a night but it has gotten a lot better. Chemo brain has gotten better, not as sharp as I was yet but a lot better. The bathroom visits has gotten 1000 times better thank goodness. The taxol about made me wonder if I was a kid again cause sometimes I couldn't make it to the bathroom it was so bad. My eating and drinking is normal. Pre chemo I was drinking 4-5 liters a water and during chemo I couldn't get half A bottle of water down and in back up to 3 liters working on 4 so I'm really happy about that. So as a whole I feel great it's just the mental beast I'm battling now. The one thing I see is the same is my vision is still off, hoping that gets better. My skin has also been dry, and bumps.
I would also like to throw this idea out here. Would anyone be interested after we complete treatments and surgery maybe meet somewhere in the middle from where we all live and have a girls weekend. I would love to meet you all and just celebrate us. We could work out details later, just wanted to put that out there and let you think about it. Or a cruise, NOW THAT SOUNDS AWESOME 😎 🦀🐠⚓️ Wish we could find a sugar daddy to pay for it Bahahahaha.
flnana2 divergent amanda710 starr42 rubydream beastmode19 you were on my mind hoping you're doing good!
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britgirls flnana2 and 2019whatayear I think y'all are the next 2 to finish. Let me know when you are and anyone else that does so I can go back to the list on page 12 and put you as completed.
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I would not be opposed to a cruise :-) Also I live right outside Chicago so if any one should have occasion to visit the best looking city around- LMK it would be great to meet up.
:-) I am a big fan of lotion I moisturize everyday a couple times a day. I hope your skin starts perking up ASAP and the swelling is no big deal and goes away very soon.
Happy Saturday everyone!
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Diane- great to hear you are doing well after DIEP. I'm also planning on doing that but I need rads first so it will be a while before I'm at that point.
Jjpope- a cruise sounds awesome. I've thought about doing something like that but my husband isn't interested in traveling. Might be a good excuse for me to go! I have a long way to go though. My last AC is the day before Thanksgiving. Can't wait I feel so drained by it. I'll have tissue expanders in Jan. I'm hoping to have all my surgeries done at the end of 2020.
Deanders- I get what you are saying too about regrets and doubts in life. I'd love to quit my job and move back by family but it would be really hard. I have a good job with great insurance. So we'll see what happens. I'm not making any decisions like that now. At my last chemo I met a lady probably in her 80s that said she had cancer 44 years ago and had a double mastectomy. At first I was thinking that it was great she made it for 44 years. But it might mean that the cloud of worry will always be there for me. Maybe though she didn't have any other treatments like Tamoxifen though. Things have improved a lot over the last 10 years. And I hope that they continue to improve more quickly. Did any of you see that they just started clinical trials using CRISPR to use the immune system to attack cancer? The article didn't go into much detail but it sounds promising.
Hope everyone has a great weekend.
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I didn’t read through all the posts recently but will. I finished the six TCHP and did the first of eleven with just the HP herceptin and perjeta, surgery Wednesday to take out expanders and then radiation. Anyone else on the HP train?
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jjpope1-I know that I haven't posted in a while, but my July chemo friends are always in my thoughts and prayers. You gals are so brave and so very strong. It's been a long road for most of us and often times a road not so easy to navigate. I can so empathize with each and every one of you.
I am 4 months post chemo and 1 month post rads. I am feeling very good. Hair is growing back nicely and I am not experiencing any fatigue or chemo brain. I am taking anastrozole with no se's at this point. I started it on Sept. 5th.
The only advice I can give is to just try and stay active. Do at least 30 minutes of exercise daily, stay hydrated and just try to do things that make you happy. I know that may be hackneyed advice. I don't mean it to be. I also take supplements. Vitamin D is important. I do 5000 Iu's. daily. Also I take calcium, vitamin C, zinc, turmeric, astragalus, osteo biflex, fish oil, magnesium and ginger root.
Stay strong ladies. Much love, Pat💞
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Like UpstateNYer, I continue to think of you all often.
September 9 was my last chemo. I am not doing radiation as I will be having my prophylactic double mastectomy in January. I did start Tamoxifen on October 9. My last chemo treatment seems to have thrown me into menopause, not sure if temporary or not - will be permanent once I have my salpingo-oopherectomy and hysterectomy in the summer.
I am slowly regaining my energy, but do have to be careful not to overdo it or I am tired the next day. My main complaints would be hot flashes (which I started Gabapentin for on October 31), brain fog (slowly improving, but find it flares up at times - especially if I overdo it), and low mood/depression. What I can't determine is if these are from chemo or the Tamoxifen.
I am continuing to have sleep issues, which compound the rest of my problems. The sleep/insomnia seems to be linked to my anxiety. I dwell on things all night instead of sleeping.
My hair is growing back, but I still have distinct bald spots on my head. Stupid arm and leg hairs are back. That's a disappointment 😜
Like many of you, the fear of recurrence weighs heavy on my mind. The what ifs and irrational thoughts constantly plague me. I am also struggling with body image and feminity relating to the upcoming surgery.
Cancer sucks.
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Upstater thanks for the post. I"m of the opinion that as someone who has this experience your thoughts and opinions cannot be hackneyed!
Fairydragon I'm glad you have energy returning I think energy has a big effect on our mental state- low energy = more likely to feel depression. RE. sleep issues. Some people have had good luck with melatonin. I can't use it- it gives me restless legs- but it does work for lots of people. Chemo effect, Tamoxifen effect or a Menopause effect- it's difficult to know what gets the blame for many of our side effects! How lucky we are!
I'm in the camp that boob and ovaries do not make the woman.
sending you lots of love Fairydragoni hope everyone is having a nice Monday and that Dvhmouse/Diane is enjoying a nice day of recuperation and no pain at home.
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jjpope1-👍💞Very inspirational and encouraging words. Blessings and thanks to you. Pat😊
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I received this traveling quilt from a dear friend last week. It was made in 2013 and has travelled around the country to breast cancer patients to use during their treatments. Every woman warrior that has had the honor of being wrapped in it's love has survived. I will keep it until I am through with my treatments and then send it back to the friend who made it to be sent off to the next warrior. I have found such strength and hope while having it wrapped around me that I wanted to share the story and love.
I have finished my TCHP and will start H & P Dec. 5th for 12 treatments, 3 weeks apart. Surgery and radiation during that timeframe also.
Rubydream, good luck with your surgery on Wednesday! Fairydragonfly, glad you are coming out of the fog and getting some hair growth even if some of it is unwanted. I have enjoyed not shaving! Dvhmouse, I hope you continue to have a great recovery. May I ask, where did you have your diep surgery done? I know a lot of people travel a distance for that surgery. Jjpope, great suggestion to meet up sometime...a cruise is always fun and relaxing! Victoria, you are such a positive influencer of our group and it is so appreciated.
Take care and stay strong!
Jul
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days after my last Taxol I started itching. This happen to any of you?
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Good luck on your surgery Wed Rubydream!!! Prayers going up 💕💕💕
Melmax didn't happen to me but I wonder if you took Benadryl if it would help?
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thank you jjpope1- I’m really dreading surgery-tired of being the patient and answering the same thousand questions. I was not very gracious with the nurse who called to gather the pre-op infotmation
I don’t come here often bc it’s clunky on my phone. I wish there was an app that would make it easier to connect with you all.
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finana2- it sounds like we are on a very similar track. When did you finish the t&c (I could do the math from 7/24, every three weeks but that would use most of my brain power!)
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wonder if we made a private group on fb, would that be easier and would y’all want to participate?
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