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Starting Chemo July 2019

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Comments

  • 2019whatayear
    2019whatayear Member Posts: 468
    edited November 2019

    Great news Shelligirl it is so important to have a doctor that is on the same page as you.

    Thanks for posting Lulu!

    I had my penultimate chemo today- One of my favorite words so I'm overusing it today .

    Next week is my last chemo!! Then meet with radiation on 12/19 and after that looking at Feb for my ovary/tube removal. I will be happy to celebrate spring having finished active treatment. It's a nice metaphor..

    xoxo Everyone!

  • Flnana2
    Flnana2 Member Posts: 102
    edited November 2019

    Congratulations shellgirl! Finding the right match up with all your doctors is worth striving for. Your confidence level alone in working with each doctor will bring down the stress of this journey.

    2019, you made me use the lookup feature of my iPad for your word of the day. I’m blaming it on chemo brain! Congratulations on only having one more chemo!

    I’m meeting with the oncologist gynecologist to talk about ovary removal on Wednesday and then have my first H & P infusion on Thursday. Still trying to get my strength and energy back before surgery the following week.

    I hope everyone has a restful day surrounded by family and friends.

    I’m thankful for a place to share and learn and pray that we all come through our treatments cancer free!

    Gobble, gobble!

    Julie

  • jjpope1
    jjpope1 Member Posts: 190
    edited November 2019

    Happy Thanksgiving! I’m thankful for each of you 💕

  • 2019whatayear
    2019whatayear Member Posts: 468
    edited November 2019

    happy thanksgiving everyone! Today I accomplished a special goal for me- I ran a 5k this morning ! It was the Pilgrim Pie run so it was 3.14 miles LOL -anyway a victory over chemo and cancer ! image

  • jjpope1
    jjpope1 Member Posts: 190
    edited November 2019

    2019whatayear AWESOME job! And you look amazing

  • 2019whatayear
    2019whatayear Member Posts: 468
    edited November 2019

    Thank JJPope! I've never been a fan of getting my picture taking- too hard on myself I think I look terrible in all of them - but these days I'm trying hard to get over that- going to take some time - ie. I want to have hair long enough to say fashion statement not cancer patient.

    I hope you all had a wonderful day with family if you celebrate thanksgiving and even if you don't!


  • UpstateNYer
    UpstateNYer Member Posts: 331
    edited November 2019

    2019whatayear- Thanks for posting the pic. You are one beautiful lady, inside and out. Congrats on completing your race of over 3 miles. You are amazing.

    Pat👍

  • Divergent
    Divergent Member Posts: 49
    edited December 2019

    2019 thanks for sharing the pic! I love the name of the run...3.14 miles lol. It's great that you were able to do the run.

  • rubydream
    rubydream Member Posts: 38
    edited December 2019

    I have trouble following up with everyone’s posts as you all do. How is everyone’s post chemo hair? Mine is doing nothing! Six weeks post and nothing!


    Previous posters who are going on anastrozole. I lost it when MO informed me I would have to take it for five years and proceeded to list the side effects. Ugh so I’ll feel good again in five years? But may also might develop more permanent arthritis and osteoporosis?

  • Flnana2
    Flnana2 Member Posts: 102
    edited December 2019

    Rubydream, unfortunately, I think the hair regrowth is a long process. Try not to be in too much of a hurry as I have seen women at 4 months out just starting to see some new growth. I’m only three weeks out so I’ll be watching you to lead the way😀. I too am going to be starting my 5-10 year journey on letrozole soon. It’s a very long path and the side effects sound terrible but remember, not everyone gets every side effect. I’m going to definitely be doing daily exercise with weight bearing exercises twice a week. Osteoporosis scares me. Are you on H & P now? How’s it going? I start Thursday.

    Fairydragonfly, are you seeing any new hair growth on your head?

    Hope everyone is having a good week and those of you in the snow are enjoying the beauty. We are having a cold snap in central Florida with a low of 40 this morning! I’d be wrapped in a blanket all day if I didn’t have to go in for blood work for my surgery next week!

    Stay strong 💪🙏💕

    Jul


  • britgirls
    britgirls Member Posts: 54
    edited December 2019

    Rubydream, here's where I am with hair. It's growing back, but not as it used to be. This is male pattern baldness, grayish-white, downy fluff. Still feeling bloated and moon faced from the steroids. Or maybe that's from Thanksgiving? Loopy

    image

    Now ... has anyone had vision changes from taking steroids? My vision is definitely more blurry. I have an eye appt next week to get it checked out.

    Also, yes, I'm going to be taking anastrazole in the spring after my oopherectomy/hysterectomy. I just don't even want to think about the side effects ... my mum had osteoporosis and arthritis so I already have a family history of that! Will take it as it comes and see how it plays out. I took Tamoxifen for five years and didn't have side effects and still had regular periods.

  • Melmax
    Melmax Member Posts: 168
    edited December 2019

    Like everything else in this journey I think hair growth is different for everyone. Ugh 😑 I think this Thursday I'll be 4 weeks out from my last chemo and today I can see white/gray peach fuzz growing where there was complete baldness.

    Britgirls that looks great! 😊 And yes my vision has changed. I've always been nearsighted and now my vision is blurry sometimes. Don't know how to explain it any other way just that it isn't constant. 🤷

    As always, I've been trying to catch up on posts. To all of the runners, joggers, walkers, weight lifters....Im still weak and out of breath just walking around the house and at work so you all are my inspiration and heroes!

    Can't believe it's December already. We've all come so far. Thanks for sharing your journeys, your ups and downs, and being a great group of ladies.

  • Melmax
    Melmax Member Posts: 168
    edited December 2019

    one more thing, lol

    My eyebrows and lashes are nonexistent. This happened most recently.I think losing them was more of a shock than losing head hair. I want them back!

  • rubydream
    rubydream Member Posts: 38
    edited December 2019

    Melmax, I have not taken the steroids so can’t answer about vision.

    Finana2, I had more side effects from the H&P than I anticipated, nothing like the T&c but headache, mild nausea, fatigue for a day or two post infusion. Second H&P is tomorrow.

    I know I’m being impatient on the hair but I really thought 6 weeks I’d have a little something!

    And...I went to barre class last night for the first time since this all began 7-8 months ago! My 16 yo went with me which was so awesome! It felt so good to get a little piece of normalcy back! image

  • dvhmouse
    dvhmouse Member Posts: 130
    edited December 2019

    Rubydream - great picture! You look ready for some fun!

    Melmax & Britgirls - I had a lot of vision problems on Taxol. My oncologist did send me to the optometrist to get checked out to make sure it wasn’t something that would lead to permanent damage. It turned out to be keratitis or very dry eyes so I had minute little scratches on the cornea. She gave me eye drops with a steroid that was really thick. I used that and my vision started clearing up. I now have thick artificial tears drops for daily use.

    My hair is just starting to come back in and it’s really dark, almost black, which is surprising as I expected all white and silver. My eyelashes and eyebrows started coming out a couple of weeks ago and my eyebrows are almost completely gone. It’s been two months for me off chemo, so as some folks have said. BC, the gift that keeps on giving!

    I had a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving, not least of which is the folks in this group. You have all been wonderful about sharing a your experiences and advice, which has gotten me through a lot. Thanks ladies!

    Diane



  • deanders
    deanders Member Posts: 61
    edited December 2019

    Hello all! Hope you had a wonderful and relaxing Thanksgiving. Mine was low-key, which is just what I needed (sister hosted) but we went and bought a turkey on sale and roasted it on Saturday so we could have sandwiches.

    WELL - My last taxol is this Friday! #16 of 16!!! I was thinking back on this journey earlier this week and remember doing treatment #1 - watching the red liquid go down the tube and into my port and holding my breath waiting for something to explode. It didn't - well things fell apart but not in a literal sense.

    Reading through your posts to get caught up - My eyes go weird every time I have Taxol (about 2 days after infusion) and they take about 2-3 days to get better - just in time to do it again. I have some hair growth, mostly on the sides and it is gray and soft and a classic horseshoe pattern of male baldness. Hopefully the top starts to fill in because I don't want to wear my hair hat (wig) when I go back to work after surgery.

    Melmax - hate to say this but I am so glad you mentioned being winded so easily - I thought I was the only one and was starting to think I was being a weenie.

    I have an MRI tomorrow to see how much this thing has changed during the last 5 months of poison. I can tell you it has not changed as much as I would have hoped - it was over 5cm at the beginning and I would guess it has only gone down to about 3cm at best. I just want to get to surgery and get this thing off of my body, I am over it. I am tired of being tired, tired of missing work, tired of having a to-do list that I can't to-do.

    Here's to 2020 ladies! We've got this - we are all near the next steps to healing and becoming better versions of ourselves. I can't wait to see what the trauma and fear of this diagnosis will morph in to as I heal with a greater appreciation for what my body and mind are capable of.

  • jjpope1
    jjpope1 Member Posts: 190
    edited December 2019

    surgery this am, nervous but ready for this to be over.

  • Flnana2
    Flnana2 Member Posts: 102
    edited December 2019

    Jjpope1, you got this girl!!! I’ll be praying for a successful surgery, a great recovery and a wonderful pathology report. Best of luck!! Let us know when you can how it went and how you are doing.

    🙏💪❤️🙏💕🙏

  • Melmax
    Melmax Member Posts: 168
    edited December 2019

    jjpope1 praying all goes well for you today 💕 I’ll be thinking of you today!

    Deanders I hear you girl! I had mri and echo Tuesday for pre-surgery and should get the results today. I can still feel my lump but it’s a lot smaller than it was. Just want surgery DONE! Hoping and praying all goes well with your MRI! We’ve got this


  • Melmax
    Melmax Member Posts: 168
    edited December 2019

    Nurse called with results from my MRI and echo ...

    “Echo was fine." “MRI showed progress in shrinking the mass". No kidding that's what she said. I told her I needed to know EXACTLY HOW MUCH PROGRESS! She called me back and said mass was 2.6 cm before chemo and now it's 1.7 cm with clearer margins. So it's almost half the size it was. I have an appt with surgeon Next week to schedule surgery.

    Question: As of right now I'm having a lumpectomy but were any of you told that after mastectomy breast implant reconstruction wasnot an option, only Flap reconstruction?

  • 2019whatayear
    2019whatayear Member Posts: 468
    edited December 2019

    Great updates! Jjpope thinking about you and sending you good vibes for an easy recovery! Rubydreams you look beautiful! Cheers to feeling 'normal'!

    Today was my last chemo!!!! I'm done with chemo!!!!

    My hair is growing back in- it is as it was before I started getting grey in my late 20- early 30 so have been dying for ages. but at one appt. my hair stylist said that I have a halo- my hair is a white ring around my head and then dark brown on the inside. So maybe I learn to love my halo and not dye my hair in the future.

    Melmax and Deanders, If I recall correctly Dvhmouse Diane said her mass on the MRI didn't show much shrinkage but when they did surgery it was gone. So maybe when you have your surgery they will find less than the MRI is showing/ all my fingers and toes are crossed for you guys!

    Victoria

  • Melmax
    Melmax Member Posts: 168
    edited December 2019

    2019whatayear

    Congratulations 🍾🎈🎉 last chemo! And your 😇 will be be😊

  • deanders
    deanders Member Posts: 61
    edited December 2019

    Melmax - I know that reconstruction after lumpectomy is a challenge since the shape of the "dent" can be difficult to work with. Depending on where the lump is (on top of your breast or under it) some people decide to just use shape wear. The term "flap" can be deceiving and you would need to work with a Plastic surgeon you feel good about. My plastic surgeon plans on using lipo to remove fat from my tummy and pump it into any "dents" that are left around my implant - that technically could be considered a "flap". Some "flap" procedures are huge chunks of flesh from other places on the body.

    Main point - if you are not sure of what your plastic surgeon is telling you - go find a second opinion on your reconstruction.

  • deanders
    deanders Member Posts: 61
    edited December 2019

    LAST TAXOL TOMORROW!!!! Woo Hoo

    image

    What really surprises me? The mixed emotions. I am happy but scared, proud but worried, relieved but hesitant. There are so many layers to this disease. I just want to be done with this but at the same time fear that I will never be done.

    And that brings me to the pressing question - how do you all plan to live beyond this?

    I am terrified that after I go through all the steps - do everything they tell me to, improve my lifestyle and general health and be vigilant - that this will always be a fear sitting on my shoulder whispering to me "It could happen again". How do I quiet that evil little voice that tells me every day that it has probably spread? The one that questions every twinge or pain as being sinister. How do I live a non-cancer life after having cancer?

  • deanders
    deanders Member Posts: 61
    edited December 2019

    Since some of you are brave enough to share photos - I thought I would too. Before and after.

    image

    image

  • Melmax
    Melmax Member Posts: 168
    edited December 2019

    deanders

    This is such a rough road both mentally and physically. My thoughts flip flop back and forth so often I'm going to give myself whiplash. One minute I'm thinking it's spread, the next minute I'm positive I can beat it. One minute I think if my treatments end, I'll go back to my healthy lifestyle. The next, I'm thinking I might take up drinking and hanging out with Willie because it doesn't really matter what I do or don't do.

    I've been on this crazy train of thought since the beginning and can't make it stop.

    BTW....Love the pics! You're beautiful! 😊

    I'm not having any reconstruction after my lumpectomy. I was just curious if anyone who had a mastectomy was told that breast implants were not an option.

    Congratulations on reaching that last Taxol milestone! 🍾🎉🎈

  • 2019whatayear
    2019whatayear Member Posts: 468
    edited December 2019

    Congrats Deanders! Whoo hooo!!! finish line!

    Thinking about you Jjpope and hoping you are having a good first day of recovery!!!!

    Re the ongoing what if machine. I have found that what helps me to keep my anxiety of - is it gone? will it be back? how long do I have left of my life? down to a mostly manageable level is to start my day with a run. The exercise and the being outside grounds me. What grounds you? I say try for a couple weeks to start your day with whatever grounds you- exercise, journaling, sitting with a cup of coffee, etc and take note of how your day goes and how the worries go. Also if it's unmanageable, don't hesitate to see a therapist - ya know?

    If I have more than 2 drinks or if I have any pot - it gives me a ton of anxiety so that keeps me in check. When was in my 20s and 30s I could drink with more abandon but now that I"m in my late 40s it's no -good. Oh well. If I didn't get anxiety from pot I'd probably indulge in 2020- it will be legal in IL for recreational use-

    Happy Friday everyone!

  • Shelligirl
    Shelligirl Member Posts: 61
    edited December 2019

    I finished chemo 12/6 and have my surgery this Thursday. I am so excited to be done with all the hard parts and start 2020 feeling better everyday.

    About those black feelings: I watched a Ted Talk recently by a neuroscientist describing what chemo does to the brain. The hippocampus is affected and that’s the area that controls emotion and memory, so besides chemo-fog, depression is a real physiological result of our treatments. I liked knowing it’s not all in my head and it’s a real thing. Also, the quickest way to repair our brains is by doing all the things we already know we should be doing.


  • britgirls
    britgirls Member Posts: 54
    edited December 2019

    2019whatayear, I finally started running again. I was really scared to get out there as I was so terrified to see how much strength/endurance I had lost. As it turns out, like most things, it was worse in my head! I haven't lost my pace, but I've definitely lost endurance. That can be built back up. My heart and lungs felt good. I had that good clean feeling in my chest that I get after breathing deeply on a run. I've also started doing some yoga at home. I'm not ready to head back to the gym, but I think with the running and yoga it's a good balance for right now.

    One other thing, I'm mulling not taking the Arimidex/anastrozole. My mother had osteoporosis, osteoarthritis and rheumatoid arthritis. This drug will increase the risk that I already had. I'm going to have to get a second opinion, but what do you all think? I've already done five years of Tamoxifen and I will be having my ovaries out and a hysterectomy. I had not started menopause (still had regular periods) before starting chemo. My period stopped about a month into chemo.

    Happy dance for all that have completed chemo, and best wishes to all going through surgery and radiation.



  • 2019whatayear
    2019whatayear Member Posts: 468
    edited December 2019

    Heck you still have your pace? Awesome Britgirls! I was fairly shocked at how much muscle I lost in the 6 weeks btwn my BMX and when I was cleared to run again-- and I walked the whole time after my surgery. Anyway every bit of research I read says exercise is really great for us BC people however you exercise. :-)

    Thanks for that bit of science Shelligirl- it's good to know the depression is connected to chemo.

    My MO has told me from day 1 10 years of AI. I don't have a fam. history of osteo or rheumatoid arthritis however. Knowing I have the BRCA and the Oncotype was 31- I need the 10 years on AI. Hopefully I will find the SE manageable.

    Happy Monday all! Please share any surgery updates and chemo finishing everyone! How are you doing dvhmouse and jjpope?

    -Victoria