The Waiting is Making me Irritable
This is my first post here and I'm not going to lie, I feel like I am intruding where I don't belong and being overdramatic.
The end of September, I had my first screening mammogram at 46. I didn't think anything of it, and the tech told me that being my first mammogram, not be surprised if I got a call back because there's nothing to compare it to.
On October 7th I got a call from the office where I used to have a family doctor (I'm Canadian, and there's a shortage of GPs where I live. My GP moved to another province in July, but because I didn't yet know he was gone, I had listed him as my doctor when I booked my screening) telling me there was an abnormality with low degree of suspicion in my right breast, and giving me my appointment for a tomosynthesis work up, which I had late Friday afternoon.
My rational brain knows that statistically, I'm fine. But I can't stop stressing about it. I took pictures on my phone to show my husband, because it is pretty interesting to see the inside of your body, but of course now several times a day I'm looking at them and trying to interpret them myself. I had to work on Saturday, and I just had no patience for anyone, which is incredibly NOT like me. And today, back at work again, I am feeling irritable and can't think about anything other than wondering who and when someone might call me and let me know what the report said. And even as a write this, I feel like an idiot for coming to this place where so many of you have been diagnosed and are waiting for results that have far bigger implications on your lives and venting about this when it's probably nothing.
Anyhow, thank you for letting me vent, and if anyone has any suggestions on how to switch the part of my brain off that keeps thinking about this and making me a cranky b***h, I welcome them.
EDIT: whelp. 4b. Now I'm more scared and upset than cranky.