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mixed feelings


I don't know how to start this topic

I am still waiting to see the surgeon Thursday and I can't tell you how the waiting time feels like...

every single cell in my body is literally aching, I just go to bed and sleep to run away from the current moment..

I have been posting randomly under several sections in this forum to get some hope and answer...

it all starts when we find out through the annual checkup that my Mom cancer came back in the opposite breast and so the doctors ordered all kind of tests..

to see her eligibility for surgery one of these is the PET scan ..

can you imagine that I am blaming my self for accepting those scans ? just because the feeling I have currently ..

why should I know ? is it really the right thing to know ? why cant they just do the surgery and give her hormonal therapy that make since as per the cancer type ?

I spoke to a friend and he told me its good to know so she can get a right treatment plan so she is not under or over treated !


for me and her we will be living the rest of our lives in anxiety and fear from each single symptom and related it to the disease ..

I am trying to convince my self that even with worst case scenario there are treatment options available to support her for long time ..

my mom is my best friend and I can't imagine my life without her ... I pray to die before her .. I hope I can kick away the horrible misconception that cancer is dead sentence


  • quietgirl
    quietgirl Member Posts: 165
    edited July 2022

    I understand it’s hard but you don’t know until she get the test and results. It’s a scary, unsettling place to be but until you have that information it’s difficult to have a plan for treatment. There are things within your control right now but very much of it is out of your control and that’s very hard. Obviously if you had no plans to do any sort of treatment then the tests would not matter but you do have plans and at this point if only her breast is effected it’s going to be different then if they find something else.

    Waiting is the hard part I know but it’s part of the process at this point.

  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 5,080
    edited July 2022


    I am trying to follow your story but since you have started several different threads, I am not sure I understand your mother's situation so I hope my response is accurate.

    -Your mom has been diagnosed with breast cancer in one breast

    - There is a suspicion that she also has cancer in the other breast

    - She is awaiting a PET scan

    - You seem to believe she has metastasis but don’t state why. Being diagnosed with metastatic disease initially is not a common thing. Do you have any reason to believe she is metastatic?

    Am I correct about this? If so, without PET results, why do you believe she has metastatic breast cancer? Although less common, cancer in both breasts is still considered local and not metastatic. I know this is a frightening time for both of you but please try (not easy) to not get ahead of what you know. From the info you've posted, your mom appears to be a long way from being terminal. You might want to speak with a counselor or therapist to help you cope with your anxiety as they can be very helpful in showing you how to cope and gain perspective. This is a very common thing for cancer patients, and sometimes their family members to do. I should also add that it is not common for patients to be diagnosed at stage IV initially. This only happens about 6% of the time.

    It will likely be easier to have members respond to you appropriately if you stick with one thread so the information is in one place. This post is in the stage IV caregivers forum but you don't know if your mom is stage IV (remember, cancer in both breasts is NOT stage IV). Take good care of yourself.

  • fathea
    fathea Member Posts: 33
    edited July 2022


    Thanks for your follow up and reply , that means a lot to me ♥️

    So the biopsy confirmed cancer in the opposite breast and they decided to do scans to decide if they will do surgery or no based on that

    The doctor said if no Mets then they will do mastectomy and give hormonal therapy

    But if PET scan comes with Mets they will not do surgery and just give medications

    Why I am assuming it’s Mets , maybe because I saw many cases when cancer comes back after so many years of cure it comes in other part of the body

    She dose not have symptoms but I am just thinking about the worst case scenario not sure why

    I talked to my psychiatrist and she gave me medication to relief my anxiety till I can pass all this

    I am alone my mom lives with me and I have no support from my siblings , they are all busy