DCIS, too much info, just saw biopsy result, confused
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Kotchaj..
I appreciate your words. It's been a long year for you! I am waiting for the pathology results from this second surgery...but either way I'm on this train and can't jump off now.
I appreciate your insight re: relationships/friendships. I don't have family..except my husband, dog and cat. On his side is brother, sister in la, cousins. Let's just say I know where I stand with them so let it go. (Family party and I am not invited.) I realize people struggle with what to say or how to be supportive...but even if they make a bit of effort in recognizing the struggle then its appreciated. I think. I've told very few.
wishing you comfort this holiday season thank you for keeping me in your thoughts. It is confusing, scary and I still can't wrap my head around it.
HUgs Amy
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Second Surgery Update
so I've been camped out on health portal, finally pathology results came in. Margins are now negative. Yippee. But there is residual DCIS and residual papilloma. This confuses me..."small foci of residual dcis". Is this the norm? I thought if the duct was removed all the gunk was removed too. It is non invasive yahoo I imagine radiation will take care of the residual part...was just surprised o see it. Nothing showed up macro=scopically except fat. embarrassing.
so good news for what it is...next on to Dr appointment, then on to oncology and radiation. I'm still in shock..and just going through the motions it still feels surreal...and my mood can be low...and I am tired of well wishes comparing this to "my friend susie had it and she said this and that". I respect more and more that each one of us is an individual; and each diagnosis is individual...and it all takes a strength that no one else will understand unless you step on this path.
Thanks friends (ps it's ok to still get weepy every now and then, right?)
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if your margins are clear now that would mean they have no cancer cells in the outer edges of the what was cut out. so is the “residual DCIS in the sample they just removed. So it’s now out of you which is why they went back in the first place because you didn’t have clear margins. Am I making sense?. Remembering your first surgery they weren’t looking to remove DCIS so it’s hard to say if they got a completely, it makes sense to me that they might find residual in this second go round. Doesn’t mean that radiation isn’t still a possibility but again that is something you will need to discuss.
Oh and get weepy all you want and mad and angry and whatever other emotion fits in the moment. But find joy in life when you can even if it’s only because you are eating your favorite candy
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Thank you...so okay I was looking at this in the wrong direction I guess. If I look at it as they did not get it all out the first time (as they did not know it was DCIS) then this second surgery got the rest which was at the margins, and the rest of the papilloma..so the remaining bad cells and then a chunk of good cells for clear margins. I think the word margins was throwing me.. I think it all is throwing me.
I am still reeling from the shock of all of this......the shock and also the effects from surgery.these fireworks, zaps, zings are not fun. I'm embarrassed to see people, whom my husband has told, I'm still having trouble trying to say I have C* the c word, there have been some reactions from a friend or two that totally surprised me and not in a good way and my boob is crooked. Which is fine but just a reminder . Thanks for hearing me out and letting me lean. I have no other place to turn. No other support. Hubby thinks I am fine, I do have an angel of an email support but what I so need is an in person friend to just not say anything, not try to fix anything, not tell me what I should be doing because her friend so and so said to do it, just sit here and sip wine and say yeah this sucks. And I am feeling a heavy guilt, as when my Mom had cancer..there was little understanding (colon cancer) and I was away from home and not as supportive as I should have been. But this was 42 years ago so it was all different then.
and its Christmas. which can be a struggle as it is...... It's my husband, dog and cat. I have no other family.
My appointment on Tuesday will let me know more...and see where the next steps will be thank you for setting me straight
with respect for everyone who is going through this, whether it be "simple" or extreme...this struggle hits hard in so many ways
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starsnow,
I understand how you feel and equally understand that we are all different. One thing that might help is seeing a therapist to help you put things in perspective and help you understand that there is no c word, it's called cancer! I personally found that learning to deal with bc was not embarrassing or shameful. It was simply a disease, like a myriad of other diseases. I feel that we need remove whatever stigma exists rather than perpetuate it. I've been stage IV for 11 years and not feeling shame or embarrassment has made my life infinitely better. Again, we are all different and if you are comfortable with the way you're publicly dealing with it, great! If not, a therapist, particularly one who deals with cancer patients, has been a good thing that many of us avail ourselves of.
As for friends, family, etc., who make not so comforting comments, this is a great time to look them straight in the eye and present them with medical facts. You don't need to rude but you simply have to firmly present the facts. If they are close friends you can explain why previous comments made you uncomfortable. Remember, most people only know that bc exists in the most general sense*. They have no idea about everything that comes with it and it's possible variations. And for those who are not close to you? F* them!
* I was one of those folks who knew nothing about bc. I probably had some very mistaken notions about the disease too!
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Thank you for your words, exbrnx....it's a comfort to know my emotions and reactions are expected and in line with others. At east most of them<S>
It's overwhelming.
Thank you for your support...and to others thank you for being a safe place to vent
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