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Beyond anxious…

dsc Member Posts: 50

Hello. I just need a bit of support. I’m feeling super overwhelmed by this diagnosis. Tomorrow is my mri and next week I meet with the surgeon. The HER2 results should be in by then. At this point I feel like every ache and twitch is further disease and the thought of death is consuming me. I just retired, and can’t believe this is what I’m dealing with. I’m very anxious on a good day so I’m pretty much a mess now. Super Sad Dee


  • monarchandthemilkweed
    monarchandthemilkweed Member Posts: 151

    very normal feelings. Once you have a treatment plan in place and begin treatment it does get easier, I promise. Focus on now. Honestly, try to plan and do things you enjoy. I know that might sound difficult. But for me since i was still raising my kids when diagnosed and going through treatments, I was determined that this time wouldn’t be looked back upon with sadness and gloom. I actually bought a camper which was a lifelong dream and we made happy memories during this time. Not to say I wasn’t sad/depressed/anxious. At times I was all of those things. But I was also joyful/happy/fun. Hang in there. It will be ok!

  • dsc
    dsc Member Posts: 50

    Thank you so much. I’ve always been a huge hypochondriac so this is just the worst. I too am reading about all the different possible breast cancers and all the treatments. But it just freaks me out. Dr Google is not my friend!

    I am really praying for something easy to treat so that I can get back to life but the fear that it will need a year or more of treatment keeps Kleenex is business! I will keep trying to find some positivity, and wish the same for you. Keep in touch and good luck with your appt next week. I will be thinking of you.


  • jh40
    jh40 Member Posts: 140

    Fellow hypochondriac here, ladies. 20+ year veteran of panic and anxiety disorder. It felt like the earth slid right off the axis when I was diagnosed last April, at 40, with no family history of breast cancer. I had to face my worst fear, which was definitely cancer. A lot of people on here can be quoted as saying you don’t have to be brave you just have to show up. Never a truer statement in my case! I was petrified. It got easier though. I never believed it would but it does and it sounds bonkers to say that but it’s very true. This is the toughest time in the beginning when you’re newly diagnosed. But know that so many women have come before you and gone down this road, and they’ve made it to the finish line. You will too. Use this forum as a source of information and community; it’s invaluable. We’re all here with you!

  • dsc
    dsc Member Posts: 50

    thank you JH. Means so much to have your support and kind words of wisdom. 🫶

  • bsmiz
    bsmiz Member Posts: 19

    Dee i’ll be thinking of you too and hoping for the best!

  • momgoose
    momgoose Member Posts: 71

    I'm so sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis. I am just a little over 6 months out from mine and I can say that the waiting and wondering about what comes next has been the worst part. I was blessed not to need chemo or radiation, but I also chose a double mastectomy, which was perhaps overkill for what I was facing, but in the moment with all the unknowns and knowing that I did not want to spend every 6 months getting mammograms and MRIs and biopsies (I had dense breasts with lots of cysts) I did what I felt would give me the best chances of a normal life.

    For me, there was a fine line between researching to be as informed as possible and knowing when I was getting overwhelmed and needing to take a breather. For now, wait for the hormonal receptor testing to come back and the stage/grade before doing too much more research. That will make a lot of difference in how the cancer will be treated.

    You will get through this. It's horribly overwhelming at first and terrifying and emotional, but get as much information as you can about the type/grade/stage/hormone receptor status and then go from there. It will get more manageable with time.

  • dsc
    dsc Member Posts: 50

    Thank you momgoose.

    May I ask, did you have any immediate or lasting issues with the BMX? Any regrets? Thank you. ❤️

  • jh40
    jh40 Member Posts: 140

    dsc - I’ll chime in here and say I had a mastectomy and stayed flat. I have no regrets! It’s a personal decision and there’s no wrong choice.

  • deniseml
    deniseml Member Posts: 68

    dsc; I'm sorry you are going thru this too! I found the beginning to be the most anxious time for me also. Treatments couldn't start soon enough! once biopsy results were available and port was placed my anxiety lessened. It is most definitely one day a a time ! I wish you all the best . Hang in there and. know that many have gone before you and are here to tell their stories still .

  • danagail
    danagail Member Posts: 2

    DSC…I feel like I could have written your post. I'm newly diagnosed as well. Waiting for appt with the breast surgeon and every ache terrifies me that my body is signaling the cancer is somewhere else. BC was never on my radar because the horror show that runs in my family is pancreatic cancer. So that's always been in the back of my mind. I don't have any words of wisdom except to say we don't know what's in our future but try your best to enjoy today. That's all I've got. Sending you a virtual hug. ❣️

  • dsc
    dsc Member Posts: 50

    Thank you for your comments. They really mean so much to me and give me hope. I’m trying to stay positive and enjoy one day at a time. I had my first therapy appt today and she was lovely but my physician wants me to interview a couple more therapists. Words I never thought I’d speak, I have breast cancer, and, I’m interviewing therapists to help me through it. 🤪