Wish you still had cancer?
Is it common to have the thought that i wouldn't care too much if i had a recurrence? That i want to stop my meds? Does anyone ever think this? Is it weird to bring up? I've been looking at my life since diagnosis, treatment, remission, and daily preventive maintenance. Maybe treatment and losing my hair was much easier than my current life situation as a leader in a prominent role at work. MYbe I didn't get the closure from my providers. Maybe I wasn't cared for enough. Maybe i'm resentful. Maybe I feel like my "friends" weren't there when I needed them the most. Maybe I've bottled it all in and it's coming out now. Maybe I'm just depressed and don't have the time, money, or will to get help. Or maybe I'm normal thinking about this. Who else has these thoughts? Does anyone ever wish they still had cancer in order to feel even the slightest cared for again ?