My whole body feels scared - possible findings, biopsy and axillary aspiration
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salamandra,
It feels like a quick kick to the shin. Really God! I hope it goes like your other side and the sentinels come out clean. I remember my mom's underarm and realized she had more then the three sentinel i did with her surgery in 1958. She never spoke of it. A day at a time peace to you. Getting to the Dr., getting results and a plan are comforting. Walking this path before is a bit of comfort. As has been said above, this group knows what you are going through. I had a dbl mastectomy due to Brca2, and chemo. I do know any treatment is a stressor. GREAT doctors and nurses make the procedures manageable. Drugs? Norco? 800 tylenol. Nerve block for the breast? Heaven. No pain. Get some good sleep. 💕
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@salamandra thank you very much for posting an update. Glad to hear that things are moving for you. I have been thinking about you and checking for updates in this thread. Good luck and my best wishes to you.
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I am guessing that my oncologist will want to switch my meds since this new cancer developed while I was on the toremifene, but so far we seem to be following the same pattern of not addressing that until after surgery so I'm staying on the toremifene for now. I guess it might impact the recommendation if something comes up in the lymph nodes anyway.
Honestly, I don't want to change. I'm so relieved that I have minimal side effects from the toremifene. I'm worried about the health and even the cosmetic impacts of going completely without estrogen. But I'm trying to be open to at least fully considering whatever my doctor recommends, including taking out my beloved hormonal IUD. I guess at least if I were on OS+AI at least I still wouldn't have to worry about periods!
What are you doing for meds now and how is it working for you?
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So far all they've mentioned is alternating tylenol and advil! Last time the pain wasn't bad and I'm hoping for the same this time. I think I"m actually really nervous. Like, my head isn't nervous, I feel as good about this as I could hope, but I think my body is nervous. I'll be glad to at least get the surgery over with, and I am looking forward to the time off work tbh. Work has been super supportive but I keep making dumb mistakes. Today I failed to show up for one of my own classes - admin had to come find me in the teacher's lounge, sitting working thinking I was on a Wednesday schedule on Tuesday.
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Thank you ichan <3
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Hi Salamandra. I tried tamoxifen, toremifene, OS+AI, and I couldn't tolerate any of it, so I discontinued it all over two years ago and have been on nothing since. I live with fear, but that's still better than the side effects I was having.
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That makes sense. I could not have lived with the side effects of tamoxifen. What kind of ongoing monitoring do you get? Did you feel like you were at least able to get back to your baseline after coming off all the meds?
Surgery tomorrow! Today was LONG with lots of waiting between things, but radioactive seed was placed and the radioactive dye was injected, so I'm all nuked up and ready to go. And the notifications for my work emails are OFF.
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salamandra - I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping for the best. I hope you will update us when you feel able to. Will you have someone staying with you afterwards? (((Hugs)))
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Good luck tomorrow!!❤️
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Hi Salamandra. Yes, I got back to baseline.
I wish you the best of luck tomorrow! Sending big hugs and healing vibes.
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@salamandra hope your surgery went well. Wishing you a speedy recovery and best possible results.
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I hope you sailed through it. In recovery to your own room and they are keeping you free of pain.❤️
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I've been thinking about you salamandra. I hope your surgery went well, and you are doing well now. Sending you warm hugs.
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Just checking in to see how you’re doing. I hope surgery went really well and you’re well on the road to recovery!
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Hello <3
Thank you for checking on me! I kept meaning to sign in and update but I think I just couldn't wrap my head around it.
Surgery went well, recovery went well, and then I caught a very nasty cold and the last month has been kind of a blur. I'm just coming out of it now.
My oncotype came back higher than last time, showing 1% benefit of chemo. My doctor didn't recommend chemo but gave me the option - she said some women want it.
Instead, I'm going to do OS+AI. Which I'm pretty nervous about but it makes sense to me as the best thing to try.
I appreciate you all so much. I have many other feelings that I think I'm not ready to put through my finger tips yet, but at least I'm ready to start reading again and get some tips and insight from women who've been through the OS/AI thing.
I'm starting radiation next week. I'm going to try to keep working through it if I can, but ready to take time off if I need to.
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Salamandra, thanks so much for checking back in! I can only imagine the sense of “UGGGG, here I go again” and the mental energy it must take just to cope with all of that without also writing about it. I’m so glad you are doing OK and that it’s a similar experience to last time instead of something even more taxing. Your posts are a gift - always thoughtful and perceptive and have helped so many people. Right now I’m nervously awaiting my own 5-year mammogram, and one of the thoughts that helps pull me out of the moments of paralyzing anxiety is “Salamandra got bad news at five years, but it wasn’t the worst it could have been, and she’s trudging on, and so can I.” Sending all good thoughts, vibes, and prayers that your radiation experience will be smooth sailing!
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Thank you Purplecat <3 I'm holding that close.
When is your mammogram?
I've had the first two radiation sessions, and the first shot of letrozole. Menopause, here I come!
I had an appointment at the rad onc's office before my first treatment. His nurse came in first and congratulated me on being finished with radiation. I was very confused and so was she. It turns out that my first day of radiation this time around was on January 4th, which was the exact day I finished radiation in January 2019, and I guess she'd skimmed the chart too fast. But isn't that a bit trippy?
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Salamandra, how has the Lupron been for you so far?
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Hiya,
I got the injection Friday afternoon. I had a headache yesterday (not so usual for me, especially it was bad enough that the aleve helped but didn't make it go away completely), but I don't know if it was from the lupron. Other than that, things feel ok so far! 🤞
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Salamandra, what a weird coincidence with the date! I’m glad you’re several sessions into it - that means it will soon be done. I really hope you can still go on the trip you were planning!
My MG is next Friday, late enough in the day that I probably won’t get results until early the next week. I’m using every strategy I’ve ever learned for coping with anxiety, and will likely take Ativan or something if any followup is needed, although I feel like I might need it just to check MyChart. For some reason I’m fine with the actual procedure but am almost phobic about receiving the results.0 -
Salamandra - how are you doing? Been a little bit since I've checked in on here and I wanted to see how things are going with you.
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Hi jh40,
Thank you for checking in <3
I'm ok. Mainly struggling with the impact of hot flashes on my sleep. They are annoying during the day but tolerable, but I've never been good at sleeping and this has made it so much worse. I wake up to kick the blankets off. I get cold and wake up to put them back on. Repeat. I'm not sweating really, just terrible quality sleep.
The doctor gave me oxybutynin to help with the hot flashes and it has helped, and I took my tiny usb c fan and point it at my face and that helps, but it's just decreased the frequency/impact, and I still feel like I'll never be rested again.
I ordered an Embr Wave to 'rent' on their $20 a month plan, to try it out, but it's taken almost 3 weeks and it's not delivered yet.
It's frustrating. On the other hand, it could be worse. I'm definitely a bit creakier and need more stretching and movement, but physically I feel generally fine, and my skin is still ok.
I can't wait for my next scuba diving trip! Nothing feels better than being underwater. I'm also feeling a little more fatalistic/pessimistic about the prospects of living to a long and healthy retirement, and that's impacted my spending. I had been saving a lot because the memories of precarity and fear feel very close to the surface, so I think it's not foolhardy to adjust a little, but it's still anxiety-provoking.
I'm always so grateful for this community <3
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