Focal Asymmetry - Feeling Anxious
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@maggie15 I admire your the way you think. Makes absolute sense, wasting energy on a maybe when it may not happen is definitely the better plan.
I have 2 adult children who have moved out, 1 that will be leaving next year but have a 12 year old at home and I am concerned about him the most. He will be devastated. I will keep things from them all as best as I can and for as long as I can. He doesn’t know about my previous cancer as he was so young at the time.
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Having a preteen at home makes it very difficult. That age group is old enough to pick up on signals that there is something going on but young enough to need the security of stability. When you know what’s going on you can explain appropriately but it’s hard to pretend that you have no concerns.
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I’m not going to sugarcoat it for you. Spiculated edges is not good. The good thing is it’s been 9 years and it’s in a different breast. If the biopsy shows cancer then you know what you have to deal with because you have done it already. Perhaps you will get to go another 9 years and the treatment protocols will have cured breast cancer or made it a manageable disease like HIV. You are a breast cancer warrior and while this shit sucks you will get through it Sister. Deep breaths and stay strong!
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@bitchonwheels yes you are right, spiculated is not good, and with the associated architectural distortion I am resigned to the fact that this is another cancer diagnosis which is totally shit!!
Yes I know the processes of the journey but am terrified that this time my pathology won’t be as plain sailing as it was 8 years ago. Last time I had a no nodal involvement, an oncotype of 7 and so had a lumpectomy, radiation and 5 years of Tamoxifen so was able to get through it although my mental health suffered greatly and put a huge strain on my husband. I can do the surgery but it’s the chemo that I don’t want to do. This time I am almost 100% set on a bilateral mastectomy which in hindsight I wish I done years ago.
I am not sure mentally I can do this again. I don’t want my husband or my children to have to go through this nightmare again. My youngest child does not know about my last diagnosis as he was so young at the time and I know he will be devastated. I also have 2 adult children and another child that will be leaving home next year. I want to shield them all from this.
I am also a very private person in my community and at my work, so not sure how I can keep this from everyone, likely I can’t, I just hate anyone knowing my business.
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