I’ve been down this road before…trying not to panic
A brief backstory, I found this forum a long time ago in the mid 2000s back when my mom was diagnosed. I lurked all the time and am pretty sure I had an account but it’s been over a decade and I don’t remember any credentials so new account it is. 😊 I must say I am grateful this great forum still exists after all this time.
My mom was diagnosed back in 2007. They found calcifications on her first mammogram at 53 and told her it was probably benign but did further imaging. Again they told her it was likely benign but did a biopsy to confirm. It was not benign and they told her it was “only” DCIS and “she would not die from breast cancer”. Following her lumpectomy they discovered it was indeed invasive and, though small (9mm), had already spread to her to sentinel nodes (the remainder of nodes removed during her auxiliary clearance were clear). She did 4 rounds of AC, 8 of Taxol, put on tamoxifen (as she was ER -, PR +, HER2 - ). It came back three years later to her lymph nodes, lung, liver, then spread to her brain and CSF fluid a year after that.
I tell my mom’s story as background as to why I am so afraid of the road I’m now facing. Because of her history I had my first mammogram at 35. BI-RADS 1, completely normal but noted I have heterogeneously dense breasts. I just had my second mammogram at 41 a couple weeks ago. The technician made a weird comment, “hopefully it looks the same as last time” which I thought may have been a red flag but told myself I was just being overly anxious. Sure enough, a week later I got my results, focal asymmetry and follow up spot compression with possible progression to ultrasound needed. This abnormal area is in the outer left quadrant of my breast, which is where I know many breast cancers start. The report reads “focal asymmetry” but I’m pretty sure it’s actually developing asymmetry as this was not visible my first mammogram (which was done at a different facility). Further both mammos were done using DBT (with tomosynthesis). I’ve never had any trauma or surgery to my breasts and have never taken HRT. My 2nd mammogram also confirmed my breasts are heterogeneously dense.
I have to wait until December 16th for the follow up imaging and I am a total wreck. I know folks say “it’s usually benign” but they told my mom that over and over and it wasn’t. My lifetime risk (depending on the calculator used) is 18.7-28% so I’m not exactly low risk either, though I am BRCA 1/2 negative.
Prior to getting my abnormal results I already talked to my doctor about supplemental screening (MRI or US) due to my breast density and family history but she waived it off saying insurance won’t pay without a reason. After I get through this diagnostic mammo I’m going to insist on additional screening. I can’t help but wonder what these dense breasts are hiding and the doctors aren’t the ones who have to deal with consequences of lack of proper screening.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get through the waiting period. My mind is just constantly going to very dark places and I am finding it difficult to do anything. I can’t even focus enough to watch a 30 min tv show. I have chronic anxiety that is now untreated (went off my SSRI a few years back). I was managing it ok but this just sent me into a tailspin. 😔
Comments
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Hi @rdelrigo2007, and welcome back to our Breastcancer.org community. While we hate the reasons that bring you here, and are so sorry for all you went through with your mom, we're glad we can be here for you as you wait for more answers.
Have you thought about reaching out to your GP to talk about going back on an anti-anxiety medicine, if only to get you through this waiting period?
Also, it's easier said than done, understandably, but try to keep busy to take your mind off your worries. A nice long walk in nature might help clear the mind, a hyperfocused activity like word searches or crossword puzzles might occupy the thoughts, or just talking with some friends and getting support might do the trick.
In addition, you may want to share the following with your doctor to help persuade the need for supplemental screening:
Study: Supplemental Ultrasound Screening Audience Too Narrow
American Society of Breast Surgeons Issues Updated Breast Cancer Screening Guidelines
We hope this helps. Please keep us posted on your results. We're thinking of you!
—The Mods
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