Some thoughts as we Progress in our Journey
We had our first visit back to the clinic after starting treatment yesterday. Not a lot new to report. Bloodwork was good and liver function is fine. Nadia also seems to feel that the tumor in her breast is shrinking. As a husband, I am still waiting for the objective measure that we are making progress against this. She told me after the visit that I sounded grumpy with the doctor. I don’t think I meant to be. I think what actually happened is that I chose to dump my fears on the doctor. I realize now that I shouldn’t do that. I shouldn’t dump my fears on my wife especially. She needs to focus on staying strong and playing the long mental game that comes with this. What we know:
- We are going to have bad days
- Own my bad days and don’t rain on her parade.
- Fear is normal, process it privately for now.
- Don’t anticipate things that have not happened, arent happening, and happened to someone else.
Right now, you would think we were making up the whole diagnosis if it weren’t for the packets of Verzenio laying around the bathroom. We are watching Apple Cider Vinegar….its hitting closer to home that we had thought. Anyways…just checking in with some thoughts.
Comments
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Hugs, @natron0802. We've all got you both!
Just a note: we've moved this to the Just Diagnosed With Recurrence or Metastasis forum to better help you find your people. We're all here for you and your wife!
—The Mods
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Thank you all. Some additional thoughts and news….She says the tumor in her breast is noticeably smaller this week. I can only assume that the lesions on her liver are gone or significantly smaller. They were already extremely small (not in the mm range), but we wont know for a couple of more months. That objective measure of progress alludes us for now, but if she is saying its smaller…..I will take it all day.
As for me, its hard to come to this site, read all of your stories, and fully accept that this too is where we are in life. In three weeks of treatment, we have been very fortunate to have had very little in the way of side effects. Initially, this made me wonder if the treatment was even working. Nadia is different but I cant pinpoint it and our love has definitely changed. The initial shock and trauma of the diagnosis has subsided and we have eased back into a pretty routine existence. Enjoy the moments we have now or cave to the nagging voice in the back of my head that keeps saying "this isnt it"?I remain grateful for this guy though. Having a happy baby sure is helpful and everyday he surprises us.
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