Is hospice care the right choice for my mom, or should we explore other options?
My mom has been battling breast cancer for years, but recently, the doctors gave us some devastating news. Her cancer has progressed to stage 4, and they’ve informed us that chemotherapy is no longer an option. The treatment would no longer be effective, and it’s simply too late to try and fight the cancer with traditional methods. This has been incredibly difficult to hear, and we’ve all been trying to process it in our own ways.
During a conversation with my auntie, she gently suggested looking into hospice care. She suggested affinity hospice and vitas but I wasn’t entirely familiar with what hospice meant, then she explained that hospice care focuses on providing comfort and quality of life rather than trying to cure the illness and so on, with support for both her and my whole family. auntie spoke everything about it just so I can fully understand whatever it is. While part of me is resistant to the idea, thinking that we should keep trying to fight the disease until the very end, I also understand the importance of easing my mom’s pain and making her last days as peaceful as possible. I want to ensure she’s surrounded by the love and care she deserves. Is hospice care the right choice for my mom, or should we explore other options? If you know a better hospice facility within Southern california, I'd appreciate it if you could provide suggestions.
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We're so sorry to hear this, @magnus30. We know this is a lot to process, and it's not an easy transition.
We recommend speaking with your mom's medical team to determine her immediate needs, and discuss what her specific timeline might look like. There are specific criteria a patient needs to meet in order to qualify for hospice care, but there are options available to families before that time comes. Palliative care can be initiated at any point during a life-limiting illness, and can be a tremendous help with symptom management and coordination of care, as well as emotional and spiritual support for the patient and family.
When the time comes and if it is the right decision for your mom and family, you also have options when it comes to hospice and end-of-life care. For example, many people choose home hospice versus a facility, as they feel more comfortable in a familiar place with family around or nearby. You can find more information on palliative, hospice, and end-of-life care HERE.
We are here for you and your family, as you navigate this difficult road.
The Mods
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I’m sorry that your family is dealing with this. One thing you didn’t mention was what your mom wants. How does she feel about her situation and what would she like to do going forward?
How would you keep trying to fight the disease until the end when her doctors say it will do no good? Chemotherapy can be very rough and diminish her quality of life in exchange for extending her life for a few months. You could seek a second opinion, if your mom wants. Stage IV bc is not curable and further treatment may not provide a good quality of life, but a second opinion may confirm that hospice is a good choice. Take care
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I would explore other options. I've had Stage 4 for 8 1/2 years. There are many new treatments. I would get a second opinion before moving to hospice. Perhaps with your mother's condition there are no other choices but a second opinion might make both of you feel more comfortable before agreeing to hospice and no further treatment.
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I second chicagoan's comment. Explore all the options, then let mom decide. I can't speak to your particular situation, but I'd want to explore those options before hospice is proposed. Most of us who have stage IV went through the devastating news, when it all seemed overwhelming, and we were told that the traditional paths were closed. But here we are. The new medications available are quite amazing and extend lives. But of course you know your mom's unique situation better, and I wish you much loving time with her.
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