I FEEL DIFFERENT
Im at a fork in the road. Is my Tamoxifen causing depression, lack of sleep, and being SO F'ing TIRED? or is it due to other things going on in my life? Do I need a Doctor or a Therapist…. That is where I am.
I am 4 years in with Tam. Mentally, I am usually strong, outgoing, on the go but I have been…. well, not that lately. I would say the last 6 months or so, I just dont feel normal. I just called the doctor…waiting on call back to discuss with her but in the meantime… just curious if anyone out there can relate so I can talk about this and work through it in my mind. I dont think therapy is a bad thing…I have just never needed it before. However, i find myself wondering if I think too highly of myself and I really do need therapy. (Do you see where Im going with this? -everything is conflicting like this right now)
With that said… I met someone I know will always be there for me right after treatment. He was a blessing… for a while. Then I figured out he was an alcoholic. (not abusive… just cant have a serious conversation with him) MEANWHILE- he is absolutely depressed right now… (and maybe I am too and it is NOT the Tamoxifen) His daughter had epilepsy, had a seizure in the bathtub, and I found her probably 5-10 minutes too late. I think that eats at me the most.
Yes, I have a lot going on in my mind, but my mind usually handles things. If it were not for the bruising, bleeding, bad knees, and being extremely tired on top of all that… I would probably just go to therapy with him.
Just sharing with no expectations from anyone. I came across this thread online and wanted to "talk it out" and read from others.
stage 0 at 49
age 53 now
and I am NOT thinking of harming myself.
Comments
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Hi @ginnee25 -
Sorry for all that you are going through.
It's good that you contacted your doctor and I think it's very important that you talk to her. Maybe she could refer you to a therapist and you could at least go and try it out? Just because you haven't needed one in the past, it doesn't mean you will never need one. At a minimum, it would give you someone to talk through all your feelings and frustrations. Being able to 'unload' is sometimes a helpful thing.
I hope you hear back from your doctor soon and if not, keep trying.
Take care.
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As a recovering alcoholic (41 years) I would suggest you really consider if you want to spend time with someone you can't have a serious conversation with. Alcoholism is a progressive disease and while it might not be so bad now it will probably get worse. I would suggest therapy and it may also be that you are depressed. Take care.
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