TN grade 3 newly diagnosed and needing hope
Hi all,
I just got my bio markers and seeing triple negative hit me like a gut punch. I’ve been reading the resources on here including the long term survivor stories, been working with my therapist, and I’m meeting my care team in a few days…so doing all the things, I suppose. I know many in this community say the early days of uncertainty before treatment are the hardest, but even that doesn’t seem to be enough to give me any hope. I feel like I have been handed a death sentence, that imaging will show a huge tumor or mets, that I won’t survive chemo or I won’t get to pCR and that my little boy will grow up without a mom. Fellow TNers out there, what would you have said to yourself in these early days? I am in desperate need of a lifeline.
Comments
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I was not TN, but just wanted to say hang in there. The initial days are scary and very, very emotional.
meeting with my care team and getting those next steps greatly helped me with coping and all the uncertainty. It told me what to expect moving forward and it made me feel better having a plan.
hearing you have breast cancer is scary and emotional. It takes time to process those emotions.This board is an amazing source of information and support. I’m glad you found it.
I’m sure some people diagnosed with TN will respond with some helpful information.1 -
Bump. I am meeting my care team in an hour and right now it’s 50/50 between making that meeting or ditching and running all the way to the mountains or the sea 😭
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Hi, You got this. It’s darn scary but take one day at a time. I was diagnosed with TNBC two weeks ago and this time of uncertainty is hell. It looks like I start chemo next week. I’m scared but see how many women have done this and come out the other side. They give strength. Good luck.
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@marcasey I am sorry you are here and I am sending you the very best wishes for starting chemo. My docs want to do surgery first. Did your docs say why they want to start with chemo?
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Hi. My tumor was 2.1 cm and anything over 2 cm. They like to do chemo first. It shrinks the tumor done to almost nothing and helps hinder progression as well as reoccurrence potential. I would love to have done surgery first.
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*down. Best wishes to you too.
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@amerli Hi there I am a TNBC sister as you see in my bio it all started the end of 2016 and I’m still here!!! I am now metastatic but that didn’t happen until 2022. TN has come a very long way and there have been many new treatments since I was first diagnosed. I know how scary this all is and Dr Google paints a grim picture for TN but that’s not always the case. Yes , you will feel a little better once you have your plan in place. Until then take a breath and try to take this one step at a time. This is a wonderful site with endless support and information. I’m sorry your here but glad you found us! Sending strength and positivity your way❤️
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@marcasey ah, understood. I will be thinking of you as you start chemo. Please feel free to update us here or message me as we go through this together. Sending you strength.
@cookie54 thank you for your words of encouragement. Dr. Google truly has me in a tailspin! I have been devouring your posts on this site and the older ones on TNBC.org’s forum and they have been a wealth of information and encouragement for me. I have been in therapy the past year for health anxiety so this diagnosis has felt almost unbearable at times. I now live in extreme fear and anxiety about recurrence and mets. I see so many TN sisters on here, including Stage IV who are getting on with life despite the setbacks and I wonder if I will be able to do the same no matter the outcome of this diagnosis.
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@amerli Oh I understand that fear and anxiety can be crippling for sure! It's normal to have fear and it takes time to come to terms with your diagnosis. When I was diagnosed Stage IV it took me about a year to accept and learn how to live in the present. It's as much a mental disease as it is a physical. Everyone deals with their situation in their own way and still there are good days and bad. I have told myself it's the only life I have and I'm not going to waste it worrying every day! Do I worry when it's time for a scan, of course but in order to truly live my life I can't carry this heavy weight around daily. This all takes time so one step, one day at a time.
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Hi @amerli
There is a book called Aly's Fight about a 24 year old diagnosed with Stage 3 TN breast cancer back in 2011. (Spoiler alert - she is fine!)
Her and her husband are Christians and the book is very much written from that point of view.
It is an incredible story, I would recommend it to anyone.
Good luck with your treatment. I think many of us feel pretty bleak at the start regardless of exact pathology - it does get easier.
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Thank you for the book recommendation @starbridge I will look it up. I am heartened to hear that things get a bit easier with treatment. These early days of what ifs are bleak indeed.
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