Topic: For those of us with BMI over 35

Forum: Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts — Meet and support others who are affected by these issues around anxiety, depression & other emotional effects.

Posted on: Jun 23, 2019 03:21PM

Posted on: Jun 23, 2019 03:21PM

mavericksmom wrote:

Having a BMI over 40, and dealing with recurrence and family history of breast cancer makes me feel isolated. Out of my family members with BC, mom, and two sisters and a cousin, I am the only one in my family with BMI over 30. I feel those of us who are plus size don't fit in to many of the discussions here, especially the ones about depression. Perhaps I just didn't read the right threads? Anyway, I started a new thread in hopes of connecting with others like myself.

I have dealt with being over weight all my life. I was once within 10 pounds of normal, but that was over 35 years ago and with my second pregnancy I gained the weight back and some. I also lost 56 pounds 5 years ago, but again, I couldn't keep the weight off. I lost that weight via Weight Watchers, but WW isn't really set up for people on tight budgets who need to lose 80+ pounds! I had to give up because I couldn't afford to keep going to meetings. I thought I could continue myself, which I did for awhile, but then I saw how the skin was just hanging off of me, my thighs, my stomach, and honestly, I freaked out. I still tried to eat healthy but I didn't want to lose anymore weight. Then I slowly started to gain it back and I gained back 45 of it. After the DIEP surgery in January I put on 20 pounds, but luckily most was fluid and I lost 15 of it since then.

Normal weight or overweight women really have no idea how humiliating it is for those of us categorized as obese to go through the process for DIEP surgery. I had to stand naked in front of my husband, doctor, and two 20 something male medical students while the plastic surgeon described what he was going to do. That humiliation will live with me for the rest of my life, as will the humiliation of having a young male PA stand inches from my naked standing body, drawing on the abdomen before the surgery.

But they are medical people, supposedly used to seeing naked people of all sizes. The hurt from family is so much deeper.

I don't know any obese person who is happy being obese. Most, like me are in a constant battle with their weight. Breast cancer is hard to deal with emotionally, but add obesity to it and it adds to the depression over body image. I hate my body more now than ever. I never thought I could look worse than I did prior to this second time with breast cancer, but I was wrong.

Yesterday, my sister, who is normal weight and my only sister who didn't have BC really hurt my feelings. I expressed concerns, via text, that the reason I haven't had side effects yet from the Letrozole (been on for two months) is because it isn't working. I explained that I think that because I am so fat, my estrogen levels may not have fallen enough to prevent another recurrence of metastasis. I also said I didn't think there was any way to know for sure if it was working. I told her that the paper I signed at my MO's office which stated all the possible side effects also said that I was aware that this drug may not work for me. I added that on the up side, I was glad that so far I haven't had any SE's from the drug.

Her response. "Only you could find something positive to say about being overweight!" I responded that I didn't say it as a positive for being overweight, that there is nothing good about being overweight. She never responded. My feelings are still hurt. I assume she said that because no normal weight person would see anything good about being overweight? Not sure.

Anyway, I would love to connect with anyone with BMI over 35 to listen to and support our mental and physical health. We have a unique set of hurdles to deal with.


Dx 6/6/2003, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/24 nodes, ER+/PR+ Dx 12/4/2018, ILC, Left, 1cm, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Log in to post a reply

Page 11 of 11 (103 results)

Log in to post a reply

Apr 17, 2022 05:01PM farmgirl888 wrote:

On Wegovy now for 1 month - 10 lbs down. It's not supposed to really kick in for weight loss until a higher dose at 3 months. So far, so good...

If your insurance won't cover it try to get Ozempic.

Log in to post a reply

Jun 24, 2022 07:53PM mavericksmom wrote:

Glad this topic is still going strong!

Update on my weight loss journey. Last August (2021) my doctor ordered blood tests and an A1C was one of them. Turns out I was/am pre-diabetic. It is odd how some things cause us to react differently, but the term pre-diabetic really hit me! My husband is diabetic. Not obese, possibly overweight but he looks normal weight. He is on two kinds of insulin =$$$ He tests his blood 4Xday! He also "plays with his insulin, adjusting it when he wants to eat sweets. For years he has done this, and for years I watched him pig out on sweets, only to adjust his insulin. I heard it can take 3-5 years to go from pre-diabetic to normal but I care about what I eat because of my fear of diabetes more strongly than I ever did about wanting to lose weight. Hopefully my diet choices will give me both!

I KNEW that testing my blood and giving myself insulin was not for me. I also knew that while I learned a lot during my year + at Weight Watchers years ago (gained back all I lost), dieting would not work for me. So, I made small changes to my diet. I limit the amount of wheat products I eat to 1-2 a week. I never eat after dinner (about 6:00 PM) I only eat sweets on special occassions (about once or less a month) and when I do, they are normal portions. They aren't the ridiculously small serving size on some products either. If I am going to limit my enjoyment, I want a "normal aka satisfying" portion. So I don't pig out, but I don't do tiny either! I try to walk more, more conscience of exercise and getting my steps in. I eat 3 meals and one snack a day. So far those changes have helped me lose, albeit ever so slowly, but it is definitely something I can live with. I watch what I eat, try to eat more vegetables and fruit but I only measure my morning oatmeal. I refuse to feel guilty if I want something sweet, but I also refuse to eat them when I don't crave them.

So far I have lost about 31 pounds.

Dx 6/6/2003, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/24 nodes, ER+/PR+ Dx 12/4/2018, ILC, Left, 1cm, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Log in to post a reply

Jun 26, 2022 05:42PM westiemom wrote:

I have the same problem. I can’t seem to lose weight. I am on Ibrance/Letrozole. I tried a year ago, limited my diet to 1000 calories but always being hungry, resentful & bitter wasn’t a good look on me 😃. And I always hear during my oncology visits to be mindful of my BMI (like I don’t know) but when I ask for help, they shy away from giving diet advice or medication. I met with an Optifast medical nutritionist but because I’m stage IV they said I do not qualify. For the most I eat healthy, baked, grilled, rarely fried food. . Fridays & Saturdays I will have a glass of wine with a piece of dark chocolate. I walk daily, do strength training a few days a week but I am in no way a hardcore fitness type but do try to stay active daily. Anyone heard of Plenity? Anyone try it? I’m at a loss, or is there a certain type of medical professional I need to see to help with weight loss?

Dx 2/24/2010, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-

Page 11 of 11 (103 results)

Scroll to top button