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Apr 15, 2016 03:55PM
Apr 15, 2016 04:01PM
Babies can die from lack of touch. Grown-ups don't do well without touch either. With that in mind, your post sounds to me like a plea for help...you don't have to live this way! Let's take the things you said one by one:
No reconstructive surgery. Ok. There are women who don't reconstruct, and are happy with "flat." Check out the "breastfree.com website. Or there's a blog called The Breastless Years which has pictures of a woman who's dressing beautifully w/out breasts. Love her style! Maybe that's where you pictured yourself when you decided not to reconstruct? And you can still get there, if that's what you want!
But if you still want to reconstruct, you should get in touch with your healthcare team. Because it's probably not too late (I think it's probably never too late!)
No sex at all? Your sexiest organ is between your ears--no surgery there! You are still the woman your husband married! How about cuddling, stroking & listening to each other's heartbeats? Have you tried sex and it hurt? Or you just aren't interested... There's a thread here called "I want my mojo back!" that you may want to review in either case.
Your husband doesn't pressure you. He deserve more. I told him this is how it will be forever... It doesn't sound like you're happy. Maybe you could start with some counselling that is directed to getting you two back together physically. Check with your doc for a referral. If you're in an urban area you're more likely to have choices, but there should be something available wherever. With a goal in mind, your husband might be willing to go to therapy appointments with you so the two of you can play together, with instructions/suggestions from a counselor.
I am sickened when I look in the mirror. Do you mean when you look at yourself in the nude? Many women who are (what I'd call excessively) modest don't ever look at themselves in the mirror nude--and they haven't even had surgery. While I think you could (with time and maybe some help from a counselor) learn to look past whatever sickens you now, there's no reason you have to look at yourself in the nude if you don't want to. Dress first! (Pretty, soft, silky cami's that feel luscious & luxurious to you are fun!)
I guess it is just a matter of time before he has had it. pathetic I know. I have zero zero zero interest. It sounds to me like you're planning to lose your husband...or send him away. If that's not what you want, read the mojo thread, ask your doc for a referral to a sexual therapist, and let us know how you're doing. (Here or on the mojo thread--or a separate thread of your own.)
Hang in there. A sexy, happy future can be yours.