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All TopicsForum: Commemorating Loved Ones → Topic: Remembering Kandy 1/18/2018

Topic: Remembering Kandy 1/18/2018

Forum: Commemorating Loved Ones —

Honor those who have passed.

Posted on: Jan 18, 2018 01:29PM - edited Jan 20, 2018 01:09PM by TarheelMichelle

TarheelMichelle wrote:

LINK TO OBITUARY AND FUNERAL ARRANGEMENTS FOR OUR FRIEND

http://m.legacy.com/dignity-memorial/obituary-preview.aspx?n=Kandie-Hatfield&lc=7294&pid=187906517&mid=7732027

There is also an online guest book. Don’t feel shy about signing it - I’m sure it will comfort her husband and children to hear from us. I am planning to attend the visitation. I have to go alone and it’s a 45 minute drive, so I may not attend the graveside service the next day; just depends on how I feel.

*****************************************************

This post is to remember Kandy, a longtime member here, almost 8 years!

She passed away today (1/18/2018.

A year ago, she created a post titled “Unfortunately things are going downhill." She detailed her final treatments, but more than that, she gave out so much compassion and understanding to others with breast cancer.

I connected with Kandy because we were both Stage IV, and we discovered we lived near each other in NC. We were able to get together a couple of times, the last time was at her home in Greensboro over the summer. We lounged on floats in her pool and had some carefree hours. I met her adult daughter, who has Down Syndrome, and her husband, Hal. She has two other adult children, and enjoyed time with her baby grandson.

We last texted her a little over a week ago. She wasn't feeling well and was frustrated that there were no treatment options left. Her husband messaged me last night that she had been admitted to the hospital, with liver problems and in great pain. A snowstorm hit yesterday and because travel was unadvised, I planned to drive the 45 minutes to the hospital today to be with her. Her husband messaged me that Kandy passed at 12:27 today.

And that's so like Kandy, putting as little burden on others as possible,leaving us suddenly, after a snowstorm, requiring no effort from any of her friends to help her transition.

Please consider this YOUR space to share joys and sorrows associated with Kandy.

I will miss you, sweet, sunny Kandy. You never wanted sympathy for yourself, but gave so much to so many of us.


Ronda - Extensive mets to lungs & bones. 9/13, subcutaneous skin mets. My life is Stage IV precious. Celebrating 6 years with Stage IV 12/2017. Ev Dx 2/14/2008, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 3/10/2008 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel Radiation Therapy 4/16/2008 Dx 12/19/2011, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/lungs, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 1/30/2012 Aromasin (exemestane) Hormonal Therapy 12/18/2012 Faslodex (fulvestrant) Hormonal Therapy 7/16/2013 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Surgery 4/23/2014 Reconstruction (left) Radiation Therapy 11/21/2014 External: Bone Targeted Therapy 11/16/2015 Afinitor (everolimus) Targeted Therapy 5/19/2016 Hormonal Therapy 5/31/2016 Femara (letrozole) Hormonal Therapy Faslodex (fulvestrant) Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib)
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Jan 21, 2018 06:27AM Mominator wrote:

Ronda, thanks so much for the picture. It's so nice to see Kandy with her husband Hal. 

I remember she was hesitant to share pictures, although she "allowed" the photo of you two by the pool. 

Many (((HUGS))) to all. Lifting everyone up in prayer. 

Madelyn / Mominator 

Mominator, BRCA2+, STK-11 VUS, wife, mom to 3 children of various special needs, musician, volunteer. My Mom dx DCIS age 62, ILC stage IIIA age 79; Mom just passed 2/28/18. My Grandmother died of ovarian cancer age 48. Friend to Lori M, died 5/25/16. Surgery 11/11/2015 Prophylactic mastectomy: Left, Right; Prophylactic ovary removal; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 1/18/2016 Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant; Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant Surgery 6/30/2017 Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant
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Jan 21, 2018 09:40AM Bliss58 wrote:

I still cannot believe this sad news. Kandy has always been here on BCO since I joined 2.5 years ago and I will miss her. My condolences to her husband Hal and family. Rest in peace, Sweet Kandy, now that you are no longer in pain.

Dx age 56, married, mom to one DD. "Eat half, walk double, laugh triple and love without measure..." (Tibetan proverb) -- Six rounds of TCHP ended 10/22/15. Zometa started 11/12/15 every 3 months. Quit Letrozole 1/17/18. Dx 6/1/2015, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2+ (FISH) Dx 6/30/2015, Stage IV Radiation Therapy 12/16/2015 External: Bone Surgery 2/16/2016 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left Radiation Therapy 5/8/2016 External: Lymph nodes, Chest wall Hormonal Therapy 2/1/2018 Aromasin (exemestane)
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Jan 21, 2018 03:37PM HoneyBadger47 wrote:

Kandy was always one that when I saw her Avitar on the threads that are not Stage IV I wanted to see what her take was. Always kind, smart, and funny, at times.

I will miss “seeing” her. To all of those who love her on and off these boards, my sincerest condolences. Arms around you.


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Jan 21, 2018 04:24PM - edited Jan 21, 2018 04:25PM by DivineMrsM

I spent the weekend busy with life, and every once in awhile, I found a few moments to think about Kandy and all she brought to the boards. I read her obituary, how she worked as a CT technologist, , and remembered that even with all she was going through, she gave me wonderful insight and advice several months ago when I had concerns regarding a scan and xray I had. She calmed me right down. She was so giving, and caring like that!

She had a beautiful pool in her backyard, surrounded by a beautiful flowers, she posted a photo of it. That was where she loved spending time. She was so honest about what she was feeling, physically and emotionally this past year, and I am very appreciative of that. She really reached out to all of us, and in doing so, she touched our hearts. I am so sad that she is gone. My deepest comdolences to her family and loved ones. May she rest in peace.



found lump 12/22/10~er+/pr+/her2- stage iv bone mets~chemo~lumpectomy~radiation~arimidex~ "The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places."
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Jan 21, 2018 06:17PM Sadiesservant wrote:

It's amazing how quickly some people impact our lives. Kandy was like that. She was very giving and so open about her struggles and her joys (Harper being way up there). She will be greatly missed.

I've only been on this site for a year and find so much support here. Unfortunately, we also see the other side of this disease, losing friends who we grow to love. It seems to be coming in waves at the moment with the loss of Stagefree, Linda and now dear Kandy, all who contributed so much and gave of themselves so freely. Ultimately, when the time comes, I hope I too will have provided hope and support for everyone on this site.

Rest in peace dear Kandy. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Pat


Dx 4/2001, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 1/10 nodes, ER+ Surgery 5/11/2001 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary Chemotherapy 6/7/2001 CEF Radiation Therapy 12/17/2001 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 12/20/2001 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Hormonal Therapy 1/2/2007 Femara (letrozole) Hormonal Therapy 10/22/2007 Arimidex (anastrozole) Dx 1/3/2017, IDC, Right, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/lungs, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 1/27/2017 Taxol (paclitaxel) Hormonal Therapy 3/29/2017 Arimidex (anastrozole) Targeted Therapy 4/20/2017 Ibrance (palbociclib) Dx 10/12/2017, IDC, Right, Stage IV, metastasized to other Chemotherapy 10/21/2017 Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy 1/19/2018 Faslodex (fulvestrant)
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Jan 22, 2018 12:17AM Meow13 wrote:

So unhappy this happened, why can't we get a cure. She went through so much may she find peace in heaven.

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Jan 23, 2018 01:55AM Groovywilma wrote:

Ugh, hate to hear this news! My condolences to Kandy's family and friends during this difficult time. I hope they are able to find some peace and strength. I am glad that Kandy is free from the pain now.

Dx 1/3/2011, IDC, 2cm, Stage IV, Grade 2, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 7/25/2013 Faslodex (fulvestrant) Hormonal Therapy 9/2/2015 Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy 9/2/2015 Ibrance (palbociclib) Chemotherapy 12/18/2015 Xeloda (capecitabine) Chemotherapy 4/7/2016 Gemzar (gemcitabine) Chemotherapy 3/31/2017 Navelbine (vinorelbine) Chemotherapy 4/21/2017 Taxol (paclitaxel) Chemotherapy 10/4/2017 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxotere (docetaxel) Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Jan 23, 2018 02:38PM Ronnie3001 wrote:

Kandy - Praying for you and your family. I know you are no longer hurting and are with Jesus looking down at us. Thank you for all of your advice and inspiration. You will be missed.

Ronnie

I am the daughter of a great king. He is my father and my God. He is with me, always at my side, guiding and protecting me. I do not fear because I am his. Dx 1/27/2008, IDC: Tubular, Left, 1cm, Stage IB, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 8/29/2016, DCIS, Left, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 9/6/2016 Arimidex (anastrozole) Radiation Therapy External: Bone
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Jan 28, 2018 08:03AM Shutterbug73 wrote:

Just checking in and feeling heartbroken at Kandy's passing. Even though she started her "downhill" post a year ago, it seemed surprisingly sudden at the end. I always admired Kandy's open and friendly spirit, even when she was going through so much. I choose to remember her sitting with her daughter in her shiny "Kandy apple red" convertible.

Rest easy Kandy. No more pain.

“‎Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.” ― Voltaire Treatment summary: 9/15/14: Also began with Xgeva every 6 weeks. 12/29/14: Last Taxotere. 1/1/15 Changed Xgeva to every 3 months Dx 8/18/2014, IDC, Stage IV, Grade 3, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2+ Radiation Therapy 8/28/2014 Bone Targeted Therapy 9/15/2014 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Targeted Therapy 9/15/2014 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Chemotherapy 9/15/2014 Taxotere (docetaxel) Hormonal Therapy 1/20/2015
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Jan 28, 2018 08:07AM Micmel wrote:

I look up and speak to her. I Tell her she's free, I tell her to take the form of a beautiful butterfly and twinkle the noses of those you love. Soar the valleys, no more pain, spread your wings and fly. There is nothing holding you down now. What's chemo? All done with chemo my sweet angel. All done. We miss you. We love you. Our beautiful Kandy! Much love forever ~M~

Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal: Left, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy
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Jan 29, 2018 07:22PM momallthetime wrote:

Kandy sweet sweet lady. You've been a friend to so many. I was on another thread and saw references to Kandy leaving us - i could not believe it. Her soul will be hovering and we could still feel her presence. Go with peace dear Kandy.

Tarheel/Michelle thank you so much for taking the time and sharing with all. You are a good friend.

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Jan 29, 2018 10:25PM Nancy2581 wrote:

I followed Kandy's posts since I joined back in 2014. I never posted in the stage IV threads because I didn't feel it was my place, but I followed Kandy because she struck me as such a lovely person. I will miss seeing her posts as she truly cared for everyone even when she was struggling. Kandy may you forever Rest In Peace. Hugs to your sweet family. You will be forever missed!

Nancy

2.8 cm tumor with LVI Dx 6/11/2014, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 6/24/2014 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Chemotherapy 7/21/2014 AC + T (Taxol) Hormonal Therapy 1/27/2015 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Radiation Therapy 1/29/2015 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 12/17/2017 Femara (letrozole)
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Jan 29, 2018 10:26PM AmyJM wrote:

My heart sank when I saw this. Kandy was so dear and gave and shared so much here. I remember when Harper was born, and sharing her joy of becoming a grandma. I can't believe she's gone. We will miss her so, but now she is free of the pain - soar with the angels, Kandy. Sending prayers and condolences to her family.

Dx 9/4/2003, IDC, 4cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 2/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 10/21/2003 Lymph node removal: Right, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (right) Chemotherapy 11/19/2003 AC + T (Taxol) Hormonal Therapy 4/30/2004 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Dx 5/2/2013, Stage IV, ER+/PR-, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 5/2/2013 Arimidex (anastrozole) Targeted Therapy 8/18/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy 8/18/2016 Faslodex (fulvestrant)
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Feb 6, 2018 07:03PM WorkingMom10 wrote:

I just heard the news about Kandy and I was so heartbroken! She helped me so much when I had questions about my scans and helped calm my fears. Sending prayers to her family!

Dx 4/26/2011, DCIS, 6cm+, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+ Surgery 7/18/2011 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap; Reconstruction (right): DIEP flap Dx 11/1/2016, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 11/23/2016 AC + T (Taxol) Radiation Therapy 12/5/2016 External: Bone Hormonal Therapy 5/5/2017 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Targeted Therapy 3/15/2018
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Feb 7, 2018 05:05AM georgiaredskin wrote:

I am so very sorry to learn about Kandy. Her bright light will be missed here and everywhere. Thank you for all you gave, sweet lady. RIH

Dx 12/3/2015, IDC, Right, 3cm, Stage IIIC, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Targeted Therapy 12/17/2015 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Chemotherapy 12/17/2015 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 5/5/2016 Lymph node removal: Right; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement
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Feb 7, 2018 06:00AM Micmel wrote:

think of you everyday Kandy..... everyday! May you be soaring above free from pain and worry. Watching and protecting your sweet family! You are missed every day always. ~M~

Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal: Left, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy
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Feb 11, 2018 04:19AM PHOTOGIRL-62 wrote:

My heart goes out to your family and friends. We will miss her, she was always so helpful and kind. RIP sweet Kandy. Now you are free from the pain and agony of this dreadful disease.

From one of your BC sisters.

Anita

Dx 10/30/2008, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 8/24/2016, IDC, Right, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy Faslodex (fulvestrant) Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib)
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Feb 11, 2018 04:21AM PHOTOGIRL-62 wrote:

My heart goes out to your family and friends. We will miss her, she was always so helpful and kind. RIP sweet Kandy. Now you are free from the pain and agony of this dreadful disease.

From one of your BC sisters.

Anita

Dx 10/30/2008, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 8/24/2016, IDC, Right, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy Faslodex (fulvestrant) Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib)

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