Best Of

I thought I would add a little good news… My CT scan today showed no evidence of cancer, anywhere. (My wording.) It is always difficult to post this when so many are struggling, but the general world doesn't understand that this doesn't mean I am cured or I have no side effects. I still struggle hourly with extreme fatigue and other side effects, including an emergency stop at a bathroom on the way home. I know you all get it…the fight continues.

Shana, unremarkable is great! That term has made me chuckle over the past few years, like I'm so happy to be considered "unremarkable" now. But I am! Congrats.

Emac, I love that photo of you! I'm sending prayers for you as well, that you can get out of the hospital soon and your esophagus calms down.

Intolight, I love your definition of in your pocket: A place to store thoughts and love, totally. And Spring flowers are so wonderful, it gives me a sense of awe and gratitude that I'm here again for another Spring. The weeds, on the other hand...

Loving the photos! My sweetie and I eloped, and I wore a floor length, spaghetti-strap black dress with a beautiful silk shawl. I loved that dress so much! Couldn't wear it now, of course. We stayed in a beautiful hotel in the French Quarter and ate at one of Emeril's restaurants. I miss him desperately, and am grateful to have had such love.

It's been a little bit of a rough week for me. I'm back in the hospital and will be here until Monday. I ended up getting very dehydrated and my MO sent me to the ER. I had another blockage in my esophagus that was nothing but pills! I hadn't been able to take in food or fluids for 3 days. Apparently I have a very bad case of esophagitis and I have a feeding tube now. I will be on ice chips orally for a few weeks and daily bolus feeds through the feeding tube. Once I am tolerating that I can progress to clear liquids but only as the esophagus heals. So right now I am not on cancer treatment. My MO felt that I am too deconditioned to tolerate it which makes me nervous. I'm glad we "zapped" the brain but the idea was to proceed with Xeloda after that. Some of the pills that got caught were likely my Xeloda pills so I'm not sure how many I ended up actually absorbing. My next treatment will likely be IV chemo.

I never got married but I'll put in a throwback from my rodeo Queen days. It was fun to do the hat and hair and all of it. I don't have any recent photos on this device. I'll have to post one at some point.

Prescott Frontier Days Rodeo 1996

I’ll add to the wedding pics. We got married Texas style in overalls. We ate brisket and made cupcakes instead of a traditional cake. We also rented a beach house in Galveston, out of town friends and family stayed there, so no one had to pay for a hotel and a justice of the peace came out to do the vows (omitting the word “obey” at my insistence). It was a fun, week long party.

intolight: Dad would not have approved of all the "smoke" at the reception. :-) I have infusion tomorrow and I pass by a Michael's on the trip there. Maybe I'll pop in tomorrow on the way home and buy a fame. It REALLY should go up. I don't remember bowties being such a "thing" but my high school chum, room-mate and friend of over 56 years had her 50th in February. She sent me an old photo of their nuptials and there was her man in a bowtie.

I have really enjoyed everyone's wedding photos. And photos of children/grandchildren pets, flowers —- they brighten my day.

I don't "do" Facebook but I can imagine that everyone is living a far more interesting and active life..or so they say. Hey, I have an active life. Tuesday I had bloodwork in the morning, saw my GP in the afternoon to renew a GERD script, had a phone call with my MO today, tomorrow I have my infusion, and Friday I have an Echo. I am LIVING LARGE, my friends.

Oh! And I am about to go out and get some more ant traps because we are having a major invasion this year.

But it is sunny and pleasant here on the Wet Coast and the smoke from wildfires hasn't reached us yet — so I am content.
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MOTHER’S MEMORY TRIBUTE FROM MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER

Good Morning All You wonderful Women and Mothers. I hope Mother’s Day was Peaceful and filled with happy memories for you. I know it is not the same for us now and mostly sad because we are not the energetic young super moms of the past and many of us can’t help feeling blue when we see all the facebook pictures of. Friends and Family enjoying fun celebrations and vacations while we are home and feeling the fatigue and side effects of our treatments and unable to participate…..I’ve read some of your posts and also can relate. My Mother’s Day was the first time I could not be with the children for dinner at our SIL and DD restaurant together. I was in too much spine and rib pain and had trouble moving, so I stayed home.

Yesterday I took a Lavender Epsom Salt Shower 🚿 and it helped to get me more comfortable and moving with less pain.🥰I started feeling better during the day and last night. Just hung out with my doggies upstairs and watched TV while DH & DS watched their sports teams on the downstairs TV. I ate leftovers and salad 🥗. Yep, this is my life now…

My youngest daughter posted a Mother’s Day Tribute of beautiful Pictures on Facebook of me and her on her wedding Day 7 yrs ago, and one when she was little with me and DH on vacation and her little face was so cute because she was giving her brother an annoyed look. I remember him teasing her that day. And back then I was a busy young mother of 4 her being the youngest🥰.

And the looking at her wedding day pictures with me brought back so many sweet memories and saw that the years that went by I looked a little older and a little plumper.😂

These kind of memories are what brought feelings of joy this Mother’s Day while I was home that day.

Here she was a young pre teen on vacation with me and DH without the older siblings.

"In your pocket": I've always imagined all my friends here shrunk down to teeny tiny size, so they all fit in my pocket, telling jokes and singing and munching on delicious snacks, while I'm laying on the scan table. It gets me through it, every time.

Feeling a bit sad today, had two friends tell me how BUSY they were this past weekend, and how much busier they'll be over the summer with vacations and trips... and I am definitely not busy. I do like having my quiet time and space, don't get me wrong, but my low energy does not allow me to "do" anywhere near what I used to. Yes, I'm planning a little retirement party in June, but it's not something that I'll be squeezing in amongst 8000 other activities, it's so far my only activity planned. I'm not complaining really, just feel a little down about it all today. Blah.

@mkestrel Sorry to hear of your progression. I had liver and bone mets with my original dx eight years ago, but am stable now. The liver mets became inactive the last few years, but a new one popped up on my last scan although very small. We will see how it is going with my new scan on the 20th.

Carol, I will pray your meeting Wednesday goes well and you are feeling well.

Lately I have seen my parents in my dreams even though they have been gone ten years. I miss them. Wishing everyone a pain-free and comforting mother's day today.