My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

@sf-cakes I feel your pain. I don't look at fb anymore as so many of my friends are traveling and taking wonderful adventures sending happy photos. I am trying to be content on my patio…it's hard.

Oh my gosh, ditto, to sf-cakes, intolight, and mel.

I hear of everyone else's BUSY lives…. I called my sister yesterday, and we spoke a whole 10 minutes. She is a teacher, and with the end of the school year, she is BUSY. Plus, she has a husband and 2 kids (not young ones). She has church activities. And, yesterday, she went to a lunch of her husband's mom and his sister's, as she is a mom too. I thought "wow, I wish I had all the activities to look forward to"…and felt like doing them.

Today, I did a couple of loads of laundry and cleaned my toilet. This afternoon I was going to make some phone calls about something at church and I felt that "blanket" come over me…. that weird feeling like a fog rolling in. My mind cannot grasp things, my mind slows, and my body is exhausted.

Most days anymore, I read and nap and watch TV. I have a LOT of boring time, just myself and my cat.

I too get sad when seeing the pics posted on Facebook. Everyone going here and there. My low energy level, and my finances anymore, living on Social Security Disability, I cannot do all the things others do. And it gets hard to see them "living" their lives.

It hurts.

Our busy lives with nonstop appointments bleh. I'm tired of cancer ruining everything. They are changing my treatment and probably biopsy the liver, more radiation to the new bone met. Hopefully I can tolerate Everolimus / exemestane. Thanks again for encouraging kind thoughts here. I am trying not to freak out. I have been crawling around the garden and planted some vegetables and flowers. Now I have to remember to water them!

mkestrel sorry to hear of your progression. Thanks so much for the gorgeous northern lights pictures. Just amazing.

Shanagirl I hope you get pain relief soon.

Take care all

Tanya

I had my first PHESGO injection and Abraxane infusion yesterday and so far so good. I really hope this works quick because Im tired of not being able to go anywhere (like the coffee shop on the corner is too far) and taking all these painkillers. My hospital continues to be a total clown show, but whatever, we got it done yesterday. I rocked up with a 'fever' of 100.3 (I had just taken paracetemol, so its the pain usually causing the fever) which triggered the sepsis protocol, got some more antibiotics I didn't need, an ECG I didn't want (the most boring test alive), and all the usual fun of peeing in a test tube. At least MO was like - no way, we are starting treatment today, Im not admitting her, there is nothing wrong with her, its just the cancer! I asked for pain management because the pain has gotten worse and what I really need is a pain review and overhaul and instead I got the usual 'have you tried more oxy?' They will give me every pill under the sun BUT the ones that would actually work, its insane. All this in a trust that is super conservative about not overmedicating side eye

I wish I had popped out to check the Northern Lights, but I saw them a lot growing up, these seem much more intense. Thats a really vibrant picture @mkestrel (btw, good luck with E/E!).

@irishlove nothing more annoying than pain that prevents you from sleeping and none of your usual tricks work. Then you get to be tired all day! And usually still in pain!

I dont mind so much not being busy, but going out and doing something more interesting than 'hospital' would be a treat. I was never some social butterfly before, and the world has really changed since covid anyway for how much people meetup and where. BUt yeah, sometimes I get jealous hearing about who is going to Greece for 6 weeks in the summer and got clearance to work from the beach!

In pockets for all, in my own pocket as well to get all laundry done too. Waiting for some extra batteries ordered from Amazon, keeping all chargers and batteries in same place. My vileda mop no longer sprays anymore, no problem there, just soak mophead in the cleaning solution, then rinse with vinegar and dry with another mophead, I know my stuff is boring to hear about but being able to keep up housework is important to me, despite not having found everywhere SIL put stuff, I still say my place looks better to me, the over the sink dish drainer is good for me as well, and dusting between times, was not very good at that. Tv still paying for ads played, got a mobile game on the go as well, halfway to one of my payments for the extra large Walmart order already.

Just planning to mash up my lentils to make a spread for the english muffin, frying up an egg in an egg ring with slice of bacon after toasting the english muffin with butter and lentil spread. Put slice of cheese on at the end with lettuce and mayo, tonight will have one of my meat pies. Got my junk food stored away from me, wanting to avoid the eating junk at supper and also want to eat before 6pm, that should help see me off to bed earlier.

In the mean time, unsure what I want to do in the meantime. Taking it easy today otherwise. Hope all have a good day and pockets for all who need it.

Mel - you have such beautiful eyes. Love the wedding pics. Will have to dig ours out. I laugh at all the staged photos from so many years ago. Almost 46 yrs for us this summer. I look at many of the photos done today and they are so different. Wish I could go back and have a re-do. I was recently asked if we had a special song for our first dance. I broke out laughing and said no. My husbands parents were very Polish (having immigrated just after WWII). Back when we got married (1978) it was essentially a party that your parents threw. So we had a Polish band that only played polkas and also had a stand set up with their albums to purchase. We often say we should have just eloped🤣

This is the only picture I have on this device so I will need to hunt for more. This is our reception. Yes, we were babies! We've been married almost 52 years now. The second picture is our 50th anniversary taken two years ago. Obviously we did causal at our house and this picture was not staged lol It is a terrible picture of my DH with a sneak peek of our middle grandson.

@micmel Oh Mel, I love to see pictures too. Thank you for sharing yours. Your Bridal pictures are so beautiful!……..

My kids were born so close together. My first 3 were also 13 & 18 months apart. I was still nursing our second when I became pregnant with our third, my little son, Brett. He was 8 when I became pregnant with my daughter, Jenna the one in the pictures.🥰I had boy,girl, boy, girl….

We need to share more pictures of our good memories.

@intolight I don’t have any of my wedding pictures on this device either. I noticed your veil in your wedding picture. It looks like a Mantilla veil which is what I wore on my wedding day In 1972 also the high collar.😂 Now you’ve got me wanting to go thru the pictures I have tomorrow….We’ll 52 years in September.

@mara51506 Yes Walmart is annoying. I love the little pot pies too, and thank you so much for your kind words. I do feel a little better each day.♥️

@tougholdcrow At least you had a joyful event during the “pandemic” even though you had to wear masks 😷

@goldensrbest Yes I totally agree with you about Mel’s beautiful eyes in her wedding pictures.🩵

Morning all…Absolutely love all the pictures!!! Beautiful.

You all are lovely in the pictures, thank you for sharing them. I am not married but here is a photo of my Mom. She is sitting with older DB dog Samson.

Nice photos of good memories. I'm married but don't really want to post my mug shot lol