Best Of

I'm seeing a therapist to get help with overwhelming feelings because there are a lot things going on in my life. in our last session, she told me to allow myself to grieve and not hold back my tears, of course she brought some scientific facts about it. since then, I've been crying from time to time.

I have a liver biopsy (my second, in less than a year) scheduled for next Monday. I had a virtual meeting with my manager to request a week off, and suddenly I decided to let him know what's really going on (lesson learned from my previous job- I did not disclose my prognosis for this job). his response was "if I were close enough, I'd drive over and give you a hug right now" he said he would pray for me and ask his family to join him in praying for me too. I started crying (very unusual for me), not because of stupid cancer growing or the fear of the procedure or what the result would be- those things are always with me/us- but because I felt understood after such a looong flipping time.

Sunshine and Sondra, I shared this story to support you and I wrap both of you in a big gentle hug. crying is a good thing, I have to get used to it though…

cookie, congrats on your DD's engagement.

Mara I too thought your screen name was your real name. your recipes are inspirational.

Shana, I love love, beautiful bride in stunning gown, and beautiful MOB.

79 post since last checked-in…….. hugs to all

@gailmary ohhhh! I don’t like the way they describe suspicious lump behind your nipple. That brings so many flashbacks of my original diagnosis of a large tumor hidden in dense breast behind my nipple in my original diagnoses in 2009. But I believe they knew right away it was not benign as my nipple had become inverted and was leaking. I don’t know how this was missed after yearly mammograms, but when they. Did a needle biopsy they knew It was malignant. Turns out it ended up being 5.2 cm large tumor when the BS removed it. Im in you pocket girl as you. Wait it out.🩵

@micmel Hey ther my girl. It’s always so good to see you and it makes me aware that you are always checking on everyone in your living room.. You’re never MIA. So. Glad. To see you💕

@cookie54 Hey there Jersey🥰. Very kool you are going to be MOB. I had so much fun planning my first daughter’s wedding.My DH & I gave her the fairy tail wedding she always dreamed of. It was a beautiful wedding at the Molly Pitcher Inn on the Navesink river in Redbank, NJ. That was over 30 yeas ago. Wow. Our second daughter, the baby. I regret I didn’t have the involvement I had with my older daughter. Their wedding was 7 years ago, and they bothe wanted to do all the planning themselves. I wasnt’t well, and was not physically up to all the MOB running around., but her wedding was beautiful and her wedding gown beautiful too.

here she is with DH and her new DH and me MOB (mother of bride)🩵

Hallelujah a local certified decongestive therapist will see me Sunday (you read that right!) At 11 am to assess and work on my swollen lymphatic leg and come up with a comprehensive treatment plan. I contacted a different provider this morning who pointed me his way instead and I called at 5 pm thinking no way hell pick up the phone and he did! Oh man this takes so much stress away, here I thought I'd have to wait until mid next week, this is causing all sorts of nerve problems and pain. The lymphadema is my biggest issue right now I'd say, so to hopefully finally be on the right track with it...so much anxiety relieved.

Glad I didn't listen to my inner 'everyone stops work at 5 on Friday 'voice and just called. Only have to survive tomorrow and I can do that with a light hopefully at the end of this dark tunnel. If this gets under control I'll be better able to cope with the cancer stuff and have a more positive, patient mindset.

@sondraf I’m sorry you had a rough time but glad you have some great nurses. I just wanted to say that I hope Enhertu works well for you and understand how it feels moving on to the next medication with decreasing optimism. However, Enhertu is different, this is my 3rd line and it’s worked the best so far, that still blows my mind. Give it some time and give yourself a break.

Wishing everyone a lovely weekend.

Seeq, that is cool we share the same first name. I have to remember going forward to add that in because I am so used to the username. I picked my username from a love of one of the book characters from the books I read. Mara Jade Skywalker, married Luke and was a tough person. Love the books we got from Star Wars. Not sure where the number 51506 came from but it stuck.

I made the breakfast I mentioned in the first post, firm steamed egg, cut up and put in the chopper, 1/4 cup black beans and 1/4 cup beefless ground. Added the handful of shredded cheese and croutons to the chopper, chopped until it looked like the ground beef. Skipped the salad stuff because I felt like this would be quite filling. Scooped everything out of the chopper on a plate, decided I could simply heat in microwave for two minutes. Added the salt and taco seasoning but also added some sour cream and cheese sauce from one of the tacobake boxes. Oh it is really good when combined. Ate it, got full but not uncomfortable. I think adding eggs to meals chopped in that way may suit me better as egg is not my favourite unless in the egg mcmuffin from McDonalds. I loved the meal I made as well. Asked DB where the cheese sauce could be had elsewhere and he suggested Cheez Whiz so will try that later, saves me buying so many tacobakes. I guess I could also sprinkle the Kraft Dinner cheese dry over stuff and stir it in with mayo or sour cream.

Catherine

@gailmary Any word on your biopsy? Did I miss it? I have small memory capacity right now…

@irishlove It is so wrong that the insurance companies get to make our medical decisions. Hope you can find some stress relief while you wait for your scan. Also pray you are your DH are feeling better.

@sunshine99 Praying Xeloda treats you well and is the right drug to help. You deserve a win!

@sondraf Ugh on the UTI! I get several a year no matter how hard I try, and they are not fun. Your mental breakdown resonates with us all. I am stressed about my latest scan and fear I will cry when I see my onc next… I just know I am losing ground. I am struggling with this latest Faslodex shot and can't tell whether the dose reduction has helped any or not. Stupid, stupid disease!

Thank you everyone for the incredible warm welcome. Good morning. Beautiful day in Hoboken, NJ. Up with the sun ,though tired.Stayed up to watch Kammala Harris accept the nomination for President. Way past my bedtime, but I like the energy surrounding her. Not to get into American politics here, just saying I like the vibe of positivity. It draws me always, brings out my inner YES WE CAN. lol… I should have been a cheerleader, but growing up in NYC and being an artist that was very uncool. So at 65 I’m finding my inner teenager and Pom poms. So funny watching the mind and the heart react to life. But I have to say, I wake up happy, a new day , possibilities and unknown to greet me. Grateful for the beauty of my home, my hubby, the birds outside my window. It helps of course that I feel good. Always easier to be positive when the body cooperates. The invitation is to be present when it’s not. That’s when I reach for my books and meditation practice to support me, breath and let go, let be. I find it nourishing. I go to the kitchen. Cooking is such a happy making process for me, Ilove the chopping and the colors, the mixing, and the tasting. Vegetarian cookbooks have awesome pics and my food never looks like that lol, but its tasty. Garlic and turmeric, kale, peas, mushrooms and carrots in a tempeh stew… love cooking and I love eating! And when the treatment takes away that, I make juices. Have tons of juice recipes and smoothies as my go to when appetite is gone, happy to share. Love my old Jack La Lane juicer and 20 year old blender. Today is kale and pineapple with a touch of mango. Plus Ithink I’ll make fresh apple and ginger as well. It’s Friday !

Big hugs to all who are suffering this morning. This life with cancer is not for the weak of heart. Amazing the resilience that rises in each of us as we sit with what is here to be known. Making space for the tears so important. I cried when I had to learn to self administer the Zarxio shots. I’ve cried each time my treatment plan failed and onto a new drug. Crying is an old friend, sitting at the table with a cup of coffee saying let it out girl. Crying is so good for the soul, it all gets to be too much I know, just throws us out of wack. We are each others strength and love to all - in your pockets with energy to take it one day at a time one treatment at a time, and enjoy the sunshine as you can, best you can. I am your cheerleader too - with love.

@sunshine99 - I'm sorry yesterday was emotionally overwhelming for you. I hope the Xeloda will beat the cancer back down and make you feel better (and be able to eat). How nice that you and your hubby both met with the palliative care nurse and made a connection.

@sondraf - sorry about the cardboard cutout experience, but so glad you have a couple of really special nurses that came to comfort you. That Enhertu is really supposed to be great, so hopefully you'll see tangible results soon. I'll commiserate about the UTI. Until June of this year, it had been closed to 30 years since I'd had one, and now - two months later - I have a second one. No fun!

@mara51506 I had no idea your given name wasn't Mara. I am a Catherine, also. I also wanted to say that I think it's cool that you are so creative and persistent in earning that little bit of extra money. It sure adds up over time, and I get the idea you see it as a (fun) challenge.

Not much going on here. Trying to get guest rooms clean and beds made. My DD is coming for a visit this weekend. :) We met her for dinner the night before our cruise, but it had been a month since we'd seen her before that.