CMF Question
Comments
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Colleen,
I echo all-- woo-hoo!!!!
-julie b
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You did it Colleen...............Hip hip hooray!
Rita
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Colleen!!!! WAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
You made it babe...you did it!!!!!
I did a whole 5 years of tamoxifen and I did have some warm flushes, but otherwise really not much of anything. I lost weight, felt great, had a few night sweats, but not terrible. Nothing happened to my uterus or anything else that I could tell, except for I got cancer back when i went off of it.
I will share a wonderful saying someone passed along to me; it's really comforting. Their onc told them that when the cancer is surgically removed they are 'grossly" free of cancer, the chemo makes the "microscopically" free of cancer and the tamoxifen, or arimidex or femara, is your "warrantee" to remain free of cancer.
Good for you, Colleen, I am so very happy for you!
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Boo hoo! I fly back to Illinois tomorrow! Really we've had a couple of great weeks in the sun! It's been wonderful..........lots of golf, shopping, the dog races, the Indian casino, happy hour on the beach, shelling in Sanibel........and much more.
When I get back and settled, I'll get caught up on the posts better. This wireless is not the best. I'm also going to explore facebook better.
Catch you all when I get back!
Rita
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I want to thank you all for your good wishes on finishing my treatment. I have been pretty much out of it the last two days and I am still not feeling all that well. Everyone keeps asking me have you celebrated, but I have been too sick to care. What I really want is a really good night sleep uninterupted and to feel like me again. I don't know if that is possible. Only time will tell. Hope all is well with everyone Rita sorry you have to leave your sunny vacation!!!
Colleen
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Colleen - I'm sure you will start feeling better soon - it is a huge deal to be done with the dreaded chemo. Nice to have a break before you start tamox. and hopefully that will be uneventful.
As I am 1/4 way thru my chemo, it is so nice to hear that you (and others!) have been there, and are done!
Have a great weekend!
Susan
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Colleen, that is completely normal...I remember people telling me "what did you do to celebrate?" and the answer was: sleep and laugh at Craig ferguson with my husband?
Honestly, the last thing I felt like doing was celebrating....just relieved to be done and very tired.
You get some rest, you've worked hard and held it all together thru the whole thing. Now is time to regroup, recoup, and regain. You will feel like your old self very soon and I know you won't believe me, but it will feel like it happened to someone else, or like you watched a bad made for TV movie or something. I imagine that'll feel good, right?
Tamoxifen will treat you just fine. I had a few warm flushes, but otherwise nada. don't look for trouble, and hopefully, none will find you. Consider yourself "microscopically" free of cancer now.
Be well
annie
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Rita, have a safe trip home and can't wait to hear all about your fun in the sun!
xoxoxo
annie
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Colleen
Sorry you are feeling so low but there is a rainbow with a pot of gold...you are finished!!!
Take care.
Mandy
PS Rita it is always hard to leave a good vacation. Let's hope for an early spring
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Colleen- Great news! Wish I were in your shoes right now. I have 2 more to go. The time has passed by pretty quick. I'll be done a few days before your surgery. Well deserved vacation!!! Funny your brother gives you a house to use and mine gives me his dog to watch for 2 weeks!!! A yellow lab who leaves hair everywhere. I think he owes me big, especially since this is the 2nd time in 2 months. Not fair! He is in warm weather and I'm here in this cold wind. Can't complain, I'll be in the sun in about 8 weeks (not counting)
It is so weird how differently I feel after each treatment. This one I felt so -so. Went on tues and am feeling about 95% today.
The strangest thing is how I feel when I even think about a hard candy now. My stomach turns even thinking of ginger, lemon or rootbeer. I can't even look at a lemon anymore. I was sucking on those hard candies and drinking lemon water during treatment.
Mandy, won't hav ecomputer access for the next couple day but wanted to wish you well on Tues. We are almost done!
Hope everyone is doing great!
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To all my wonderful buddies on this thread...........I love you all and HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!!!!!!!!!
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To my CMF sisters, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!! You are so wonderful one and all.
Scarp is right , next tx is Tuesday and doing rads at the same time. I don't particularly want to go back for chemo..I had a rough time this tx and just started to feel better....yuck.
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Hope you are all having a great weekend! I have a very minor complaint - wondering if this is CMF or has more to do with where I live - I AM FREEZING! Ever since I started chemo, I have been freezing in my home. My husband and kids are not freezing, and my hands are ice cold too.
I am supposed to go into "chemopause" in the next month or so - I am expecting hot flashes, not cold flashes.
Maybe I just need a warm vacation (or a hot toddy, but I am not supposed to drink alcohol).
Hope you are warm, happy and enjoying the weekend.
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Hey aprilgirl..........those warm vacations really help! LOL I, too, was extremely cold both during and after my treatments but mine seemed to mellow out about a week after the treatment. Then I'd be fine until the next treatment and it would start all over again.
Mandy...hope your treatment on Tuesday goes well. I will be thinking about you. You're on the downhill slide now!
I hope everyone had a nice Valentine's Day! My sweetie fixed me a steak dinner and really spoiled me. I can't believe that I finally got lucky when it comes to men! (and to think of all those frogs I had to kiss before I found this gem!)
We're off to Sunday night mixed bowling. I'll catch up tomorrow when I have more time! It was SO hard to come back to Illinois!
Rita
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Hi all!
I hope everyone had a lovely valentines' day....mine was great, roses, dinner, jewellry, candy ; he's a doll...
I just wish this week would be a little easier....horrible scarey lung scan on thursday (any prayers girls out there who can spare some?) but............off set by my darling d's bd on wednesday..she is 20!!!
RITA WELCOME HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can't wait to hear all about your trip!!! Sounds like your guy is a dollbaby also. I know I had quite the few frogs before mine. We both lucked out.
Mandy, sending good vibes and good thoughts for you on Tuesday. Colleen, are you beginning to lift that head and say "OMG I'm done, I did it" yet?
Scarp, hang in there, you are almost there, hon...I felt sick at the very thought of ginger or lemon drops, but I got over it now.
...still can't do gingery snaps tho.0 -
Hey Annie: Count me in on your prayer board for Thursday. I am starting to send those vibes your way right now!
And Scarp you and I will get through this.....take care and feel good.
Colleen you've done it!!!
And everyone else, have a good week. If you have a minute send some vibes my way on Tuesday...it'll be the first chemo while I am actually doing rads.....
Mandy
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O.K. Annie.........what did I miss about Thursday? What's happening?
Mandy, although I did not do chemo and rads together, I don't think the rads should cause any major side effects with the chemo. Maybe you'll be a little more tired than usual, but I would think that would be the worst effect. How many rads are you doing?
Gotta run...another bc sister in the neighborhood and I are getting serious about our walking program again and I need to throw on some comfy clothes and go pick her up. If we get to the Mall before it opens, it's easier and faster!
I hope everyone had a good weekend. I'll catch you all later.
Rita
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Hi sweeties, hope all are feeling well today.
Mandy, thank you so much, i am hopeful for thursday, but to say scared....well, you guys know how it is.
Rita, it's the lung scan thing. They follow these nodules in my left lung to be sure that they are not cancerous. It is the "monster in the closet" for me. Thursday, 10:15, I'm trying to focus on my dd's bd on Wednesday to keep the old mind off of it.
Good for you for the walking program! I bought this air stepper thing which is a big bellows you balance on top of and follow a DVD for 1/2 hour, I hope it helps! My mall is too far for me to walk, between gas and distance, it's like a few hours out of the day.
Mandy, good luck with the rads, you may be tired, but I think you will be OK. I'm with Rita on that. Most of us do well with rads.
Good luck all and happy presidents' day!
xoxo
annie
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Just a quick note to Susan ... could your being extra cold be attributed to drinking an excess of water (maybe cold water)? How bout trying something warm to drink to continue that "flushing" process !!! I'm cold quite often .... such as when at work .... then again I'm drinking cold water all day long while my co-workers are sucking down hot coffee !!! Just a thought !!!
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Hi ladies,
Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. Just an update. Had to stop the xeloda/tykerb due to se's. Was suppose to start again last Wednesday but still dealing with the mail order pharmacy. Just on Tykerb right now and so far so good. Hoping to get back on both soon so I can be done in June if all goes well. I've been chatting in the chat room with a few ladies that are on the same meds as I am so we are able to share stories. A couple of weeks ago I had a few ladies from this site over to my house for a cookie exhange and chating. We all had a great time and planning a weekend to Laughlin in the next month or so.
Annie- I'm praying extra for you that your scan goes well on Thursday. (((ANNIE))).
Rita- Happy walking! Wish I could join you.
Carol- Hope all is well- Still trying to talk Craig into coming up your way!
Jill
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Hi All - I am feeling much better. But still getting some indigestion and its weird I woke up this morning with so much energy it felt great, but by mid afternoon I was really tired. I am hoping by next week most of the toxins will be out of my body. I went to NJ yesterday to see my Mom. She had a pretty good week. We took her out for lunch,but by the time we got back (only out about 2 hrs) she was really tired. She is losing a lot of weight and is very frail looking. But she continues to move on. She will have her 3rd tx on Thursday, after that she will have a full battery of tests to see if the tx's are helping at all. She has been good with SE's, she only really has the fatigue. It is just really sad to see her just not herself. But now that I am over the chemo, I will be able to spend more time with her.
Annie - You will be in my prayers for a great results on Thursday. And I hope your daughter has a great 20th B-Day. Isn't it amazing how fast they age. It seems like yesterday that mine were just babies, and now they are 13 and going to be 11.
Mandy & Scarp - You will get through this also. I know what you mean about certain things turning your stomach. I get a lot of that also with certain things. It makes me really nauseous just to think of certain things. But I will continue to keep you in my thoughts that you will get through your tx's also.
Hope everyone has a nice week.
Hugs,
Colleen
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Annie...thanks for the update. I'll be thinking of you on Thursday and praying that the tests show no evidence of the nasty stuff. I completely understand "the monster in the closet" issue. I wish there was something that I could do or say to make the next few days easier for you.
Thinking about you today, Mandy! Let us know how it goes!
About the "taste" after-affects from chemo........For a long time I could not tolerate water or ice. Now I'm able to tolerate them but I still can't stand the smell of Chinese food, which I once loved. This baffles me as I did not get sick during chemo from eating this kind of food. In fact, I'm not even sure that I ate it during the chemo regime. Go figure!
Colleen, you mom is a real trooper. I am so glad that you'll have more time now to spend with her. Hugs to both of you!
Jill, I'm so glad to see your post as I've been thinking alot about you lately. Sorry about the side effects but glad to hear that things are still progressing well. I'm glad you found some bc survivors in your area. That personal contact is so wonderful. Hang in there and keep us updated.
Gotta run. It's bowling day and I certainly CAN'T miss bowling!
I'll check in later.
Rita
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Rita - I have a question for you. You said that when you were going through chemo you had to have one shot of neulasta and your WBC went back to normal. What did your WBC count drop to that made you get the shot? And, do you remember what the count was after your neulasta?
Thanks so much! I really appreciate all your help and advice!
Nancy
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Hi ladies: Rita, how wonderful to see you back! Post a new "tan" photo of you
...thanks for the chin up, I'm trying. I spent the AM instead of cleaning the house by icing bd cupcakes for my kid. Much more important .Enjoy your bowling and let us know all about your trip when you get some time!
Jill, great to see you post, but I was sorry to hear you had some SEs...I'm sure they will get it right for you! Good to hear you are doing well. You are always in my prayers. thank you so much for yours on Thursday.
Nancy, I know my counts had dipped also,but I was right out of surgery. My shot was preventative. I had no SEs from it, tho i read all the horror stories. One shot, in your hip, takes a second. It's a good thing, keeps you healthy!
love to all, off to PA for my dd's 20th tomorrow. Sending love to all.
Colleen: ((((((((((((((((((((((( HUGS for you and your mom)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
xo
annie
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Nancy, I didn't remember the answers to your questions so I got out my folder and looked it up. My white blood count had fallen to 2.66. According to my scale 3.98 is the low normal. I had the neulasta shot and it went up to 4.68, which is still not high but within the low level range (3.98 to 10.04 being the normal scale I was given). This was good enough to get me through the next treatment. I had heard horror stories about the shot and its side effects, but honestly, I had no side effects from it. I would not have hesitated to get another one if needed.
What is the last read on your white blood count?
Hope this helps. Everything on the journey is so mind-boggling.
Rita
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Hi all!
I had tx #5 of cmf today and it hit me like it has not hit before. I am dizzy and decided the best place for me is bed. Plus I have dry mouth like no other so I am sure that mouth sores will follow. Everything I sip makes me nauseous.....so I am trying to have small amounts of sorbet hoping that will do something to hydrate me.... later I will try some tea and see if that works but right now I just want to stay in bed!!!
The one good thing is that my blood counts have been good. The onc is very surprised because I am a vegetarian so she figured I'd have trouble. I wondered if I'd have to eat meat again, but not so. I eat an egg every day while I am on chemo and I do my best to get some other food in me......and my counts through this one have been completely normal.
I have rads tomorrow so I know I will get out of bed for that. I am lucky and have someone to drive me to rads tomorrow and Thursday.
Hope every one is doing well.
Mandy
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Mandy - I am so sorry that you are not feeling well. #5 hit me hard to I felt the same way and it took longer than the others to leave also. Just try and stay hydrated and eat what you can. It sounds weird but icecream always felt good. I felt like it coated my stomach. If your body is saying stay in bed you should. Good Luck with your rads tomorrow. How many more tx's do you have? Hope you feel good again soon.
Nancy - My mom gets the neaulasta shot a few days after her tx's and she has really had no problems with it. She said she feel a little muscle pain but not really bad. I had to take the neuopgen shot for 7 days after each treatment and I never had any problems with it and my blood cts were pretty good. I never had to miss a treatment. Hope this helps!
Jill - I hope that you are feeling better and the SE's have been better for you!!!!
Hugs to all,
Colleen
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Hi, Warning--- this is long....sorry!
Well...I've had a pretty scary day. Figured this is the one place I could share where it would be understood... I had my annual oby/gyn appt today. I switched obys last year (long story) and have met this doctor only once before. I liked her and was particularly pleased that she was well versed in breast and ovarian cancer care. I saw her before the reoccurence last March, however, so this appt I had a lot to cover with her. Her nurse came to get me. I could tell with one look that she had been through cancer treatment recently. She fronted it- said looks like you and I have something in common. Asked if she could hug me, started to tear up and told me a bit about her situation. Asked me a bunch of questions. This sisterhood we have.... So the Dr comes in, I fill her in on all that happened this year, ask a bunch of questions and we get on with the exam. I'm a bit uncomfortable with the breast exam--- so many scars....so I'm nervously talking while she does the breast exam on my real breast when I realize she's gone silent and her hand has stopped moving. Goes around again and stops at the same place. Probes and probes. You know the OH SH---- ! feeling? The one where all the blood drains from your face and your heart starts pounding? Julie, do you still do breast exams? Yes..... Have you ever felt this? Puts my hand on the spot. Oh F--- S---- No....... Please God, NO.....! Sorry- not very eloquent, but that's all I can think at the moment. I feel what she feels....it's something. Maybe not a lump, but a something? I realize the spot is near the nipple and the bottom part of the anchor incision (this breast was reduced and lifted- last surgery on 12/30). I suggest that it's perhaps scar tissue? That it doesn't feel quite like the other two lumps I discovered. She agrees that it's possible, but says-- and I'm reading her face during this-- that she would be remiss if she didn't tell me to get it checked out. I ask if she can write me an order to get it imaged at Glenbrook and she says sure-- so I'm imagining I will have to go back in a few days. She goes out, comes back, continues exam-- but then in about 10 minutes, her nurse knocks and tells me I have an appt in 15 minutes!! Turns out she knows a few nurses in the breast center and got me bumped to the front of the line. This sisterhood of ours..... I so need to write her a thank you note. Next thing I know, I'm in my car, heading over to the hospital. When I was a child, I used to have a terrible reoccuring dream. Same dream and I would dread its return. Remembered that as I walked into the Breast center...feeling very much like I was living my bad dream. They were expecting me there and for the first time ever, I didn't wait. They ushered me right in. The tech was very nice-- a bit on the too perky side- but this one actually had read my chart. Told me I had been here entirely too much and she was going to do everything in her power to get me in and out with the answers I needed. I have NEVER heard that before-- and I almost hugged her. I'm not a huggy person. So she gets me into a mammogram. Then ultrasound. I'm laying on the table, looking at the same pictures, the ones I realize I've memorized, the stupid pastel beach scenes, the unbearable pastorals....understanding they have been etched into my brain and I have seen them over and over in flashbacks, nightmares. And here I am, where I never wanted to be again.... I think about something I think Susan wrote about. In the last 20 minutes, I've been planning my funeral. I've been testing out how I explain to my boss that I need surgery again to have the other breast removed. I'm wondering if I will see my kids graduate grade school. I think, crap, my hair has just started getting back to normal. I'm thinking you stupid idiot- why didn't you have the other breast removed......
The radiologist comes in. One I had never met- and liked instantly. Straightforward, blunt, let's get down to business. Looked at the films, looked at the ultrasound. Tells me straight out with no forward that it's SCAR TISSUE. SCAR TISSUE. That he sees nothing of concern. One tear escapes, hits the pillow. Then I realize he's scolding me-- telling me I should not have panicked this soon after surgery, that there was no reason to rush in, that the breast goes through all these changes for a good year. I explain to him about the above appt, the concern in my oby's eyes.... He backed off. Softened. Said, well, it's actually ok, you needed a new baseline on this breast anyhow. Leaves. Tech hands me a tissue. She got it.
So I gather myself and go to the coffee kiosk in the lobby. I don't want coffee. I buy the biggest chocolatey thing I see. Big brownie with chips in it. Stuff it in my pocket. Go out to my car. I've learned to park in the farthest out spot I can find. Barely get in before the sobs start. Just sit there and cry my head off. Start driving home, stuffing brownie pieces in my mouth btw sniffles. Thinking I must look a sight, mascara running and my cheeks full of brownie. Think I must remember to write about this as there is only one group of women who could begin to understand this.
I realize very acutely that my world could have changed again very quickly in those 5 minutes that radiologist regarded the ultrasound. Yes, I think we need to do a biopsy....and I would be curled up in my bed right now. I'm having a glass of wine instead. I broke open the good bottle. But I'm not really celebrating. I feel like I dodged another bullet. I feel drained. So....I'm going to try and make it Thursday night and bask in your company. And try to sleep tonight. -j
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OMG Julie! I hope you drank the whole bottle of wine! Your day was everyone's worst nightmare. How well we all know that 5 minutes can change our whole life again! Hugs to you...dear sister!
Rita
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omg Julie - that is some day. The good news is, that it was checked out, and you are fine. I hear that this feeling of dread does end, but please tell me when.
It is wonderful that you had many people helping you out today - from the nurse getting you in, to the too perky tech getting your thru. Those little things really help.
Thanks for posting! I am so happy you opened the good bottle. We do deserve the good bottle on days like this!
Susan
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