CMF Question
Comments
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All this Norweigan talk, the small town I'm from has a Norweigan theme to it, in fact this weekend is our Viking Festival, with parade, lots of Vikings walking the streets, and lots of good food. I'll get my walk in this weekend, since we live in the city limit and we can walk to town. Myself, not Norweigan but a whole lot of German, hoping that makes me a tough gal as well.!
Harley, YIKES on the dress code, I'm very happy sporting jeans and a T today. Left the right "gal" at home, its supposed to hit 90 here today, decided I don't need that extra sweat producer!
Annie, I'm with you and the dentist, get myself all worked up when I have to go in. Looks like I'm due in July for my bi-annual visit, I had canceled it during these months of chemo.
Looking forward to hearing from my friend who has her second op today, I hope for her that he recommends CMF as well, with the horror stories of the other regimens she will be "thrilled" to do CMF.
Jill, how we doing gal? Kent and I we're just talking about you and Craig over dinner last night, sure hope that you might find the time to head north once your done with txt.
Back to work ...
Carol
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Hello All,
It's been a busy week. Tuesday was my appointment with my Rads. Onc. and my head is spinning! I need to make a decision on having rads for a second time or not. Here are my choices: Being that is the area (right breast) has already had radiation there is a 5-10% chance of skin problems, bone problems and permanent pain but he said he could do it. If I don't have rads. there is a 5-10% chance for a recurrance. When I talked to him in January he had said that when we start rads. he would prefer that I get my port removed (that is where the recurrance was) so I made an appointment with my surgeon and Im scheduled for this coming Thursday. When I had my mastectomy I had clear margins but it was 1mm close to the chest wall! He did say that the surgeon could biopsy the tissue aaround the port to make sure it was clean.I'm really having second thoughts about the port removal. all the what if's are to much!
Carol- The festival sounds like alot of fun! We are suppose to hit our first 100 degree day this weekend. I love this weather. My garden is doing great, picked my first chili peppers yesterday.
Harley- You're jobs sounds like fun minus the dress portion. Do you get discounts? I have to dress business casual MondayThursday and jeans on Friday. I love Fridays.
Annie- Yes, the good ol' dentist. Mine is really great, but I just don't like going.
Hope everyone has a good weekend!!
Jill
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Hey ya'll,
This shop also has jeans and t-shirts, but they cost a lot of money! I just went over to the store and got my schedule for next week....yikes! She scheduled me to work Tues, Wed, and FRIDAY, the day after my nipple surgery!!! I will be SO SORE! Yet, I don't know how to say NO, at this point, since I just started working there. Also, I'll be working Sunday, since that is one of the Holidays that they are open on Sunday also. I hope she doesn't want me to work on Memorial Day Monday, too, but I'm guessing that I will be working that day, too.
I guess I'll just see how it goes. I am bummed about working on Wed., also, since my dh and I were going to go to the beach one day, and now that won't be possible.
Jill, I didn't have to get rads, but I feel for everyone who is going down that road. Hope all goes well, whatever your choice. Yes, I get a 30% discount, but that still isn't enough, 'cause the dresses cost $200!, and the jeans are $100! It's a trendy, designer shoppe. Some of the t-shirts are $50 or more!!
Well, I hope everyone has a great weekend! We are going to a festival at the Silver Coast winery today, and tomorrow, we'll hit the Blue Crab Festival, in Little River, SC. It is always so much fun!
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Hi ladies, this is too funny, I am german on the other side...perhaps we "tough valkyries/amazons" are all related somewhere. Personally, I think any woman who deals with what we have is an amazon, or a valkyrie. And these are not chicks to mess with.
Rita, I have a blonde child and everybody else is blonde. My husband is very dark and he is swiss from the german section. Isn't it interesting how we all have such diverse backgrounds? Makes it very global of us.
Hey Harley, that dentist should be giving you topical novocaine on a swab before the shot to numb your gums! Some don't unless you ask for it, so tell him the shots are painful and tell him to wait ten minutes to numb it up for you. I hope it helps.
I think you ought to get those clothes for free as well. I bet you do look adorable, but you should have a modelling fee seems to me!
Rita have a wonderful visit with your son and grandbabies!!! I hope they celebrate mom's day with you and you have a great time.
I am just revelling in my daughter and enjoying every single second. It's heaven having her here. Just the shot in the arm I needed to get thru the rest of chemo.
My hair shed seems to have slowed...did anyone else experience a big old shed after #5, then a slowing down of it? And when does it quit doing it after finishing chemo?
love to all my warrior goddesses
annie
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p.s. Jill, I am confused...I was told I couldn't have any radiation on the boob (or lack thereof) bec. I had had it already.
Will they do it in certain cases? Is there a reason they will for you?
My tumor was 1.6 or something like that and very close to the chest wall as well, but they felt the margins were really clean.
Good luck! Give a couple of days to settle in, I know when I go for these consults, my head seems to spin for days. I have to bring a notebook and pen or I'd forget whatall they had said.
Good luck and keep us up to speed.
xox
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Hello CMF'ers ...
Had a busy weekend, worked in the yard, got all my pots and and beds planted, looks like there is some life back in the place.. Went to the local parade on Sat, hit a couples golf tourney in the early eve, and crashed like a big dog come Sat night.
I was pretty stressed out on Friday, my friend who was recommended CMF by the same onc I use had her 2nd op on Fri. She called me to tell me that the other doc would not prescribe CMF to his patients. He also said that in the US oral cytoxan is not available, hmmmm, not sure what the heck I've been taking, but its identified as cytoxan on my bottle. He recommended her for the TC regimen. She is planning on chatting with the doc again that recommended CMF to get further clarification. I'll be anxiously awaiting to her from her. God knows my first line of questioning when I see my onc a week from Weds will be this topic!
Jill, I feel for you with all the decision you have pending. I know you and Craig will hash it out and do what is best for Jill. Hopefully working in your garden is a bit of a stress reducer for you. I know getting down and dirty is good for my soul.
Annie, my hair seems to mellow out during my 14 "on", and then appears to want to shed on the 3 and 4 week each month. I think mine is not coming out quite as much as it did, must be the stubborn gray hairs that are hanging on. I'm kinda liking the lack of hair in the pits and legs, that could stay away for a long time and I'd be happy.
Harley, wine and a crab festival, right up my alley!!! Hope you had a grand time.
Rita, hit the links this weekend?
Probably should go, I'm at work just sneaking a peak ...
Take care my friends,
Carol
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Hello everyone! It sounds like you've all been busy!
Jill...you have a hard decision to make. It seems that the hardest thing about this journey IS the decisions. It certainly makes us very anxious. I know you will make the right choice for you. Like Annie, I was told that radiation to the same area was not feasible. They probably make that general statement until a situation arises where it could be a viable option. HUGS to you as you mull over your possibilities and good luck with the port removal if it comes out on Thursday.
Carol....I've never hit a driver very well. The gal at the pro shop has me trying a demo ping driver. I was just driving it into the ground every time. Then my son helped me with the weight distribution on my feet during the stance and the weight shift and I started to get the ball up in the air. I still need lots of practice hits before I'd feel confident getting it out of the bag on ladies' day but do see some hope for me in the future. As for the CMF comments that were made by your friend's second doctor...how very interesting! I'll be anxious to hear what YOUR doctor says about this. Did your friend have stage I cancer?
Harley, I bet that million dollar smile of yours sells lots of clothes!
No wonder that they want you working more hours! LOL Just don't let them talk you into working more hours than you want.
Annie...glad that your daughter is back. You're right! It's so nice that she can be near as you finish up your chemo treatments! Doesn't that sound nice????FINISH UP YOUR CHEMO TREATMENTS!! It won't be long now and we'll all have something to celebrate with you!
My family was here this weekend and I had a ball. I miss those little grandsons so much. There was a small-town fesitval nearby and we went on Sunday. They had the super wonderful $5 chicken dinner and lots of carnival rides. The little guys were so excited and had so much fun. The weekend just ended too quickly! I think it will probably be July 4th before I get to see them again. That's not soon enough for Grandma! :-)
Well, I hope all of you are off to a good day! I'll be back later.
Rita
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Rita, it must be Tuesday, its back to rain here and its golf day. I have my clubs in the car if the weather breaks this afternoon, havn't made it out yet for the womens league.
I retired my driver a couple of years ago for my 3 wood. I hit it just as far, then this year a gf gave me her old driver, I gave it a try and it works pretty darn good for me. Strange game isn't it?
My friend is opting for a 3rd op, she has a little time to make these decisions as she is still recuping from her mast surgery. I'll keep ya updated. I made sure that I am seeing my onc before my infusion next week, would like to pick his brain on the subject.
Back to work, hope to check in tonight, Carol
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Carol, yes, we had a good time at the wine festival, even though we worked the BELCHES N BURPS booth, selling hot sauce and chips, and other various sundries. I sold TWO aprons, and tracked down one of the owners of the winery, to tell her that we were starting to run out of chips, so if they wanted some, they better get over there quick! My dh said that I ran her down, but I really just passed her on the way to the bathroom!!
Rita, it sounds like you had fun at the carnival! Well, I talked to my boss about working the day after my surgery. She changed my hours so I'll only be working from 1:00 until 6:00. I guess I can do FIVE hours. One of the other ladies told me that if I am not feeling up to working on Friday, she'll work my shift. She is very nice!
I have been thinking, maybe I am just having second thoughts about this next surgery. Each phase of my reconstruction has been even more painful. The implant reconstruction ... well, it hurt like heck! If I knew then what I know now, maybe I would just not have even gotten reconstruction. The tattoos, of the aureolas, YIKES!, they HURT, too!! I am just tired of all this 'reconstruction'. Also, I think I am feeling kind of depressed. Shouldn't I be feeling better, since I am almost finished? I don't know... maybe it's the Tamoxifen.
Annie, glad that you are enjoying your time with your daughter! Also, glad that your hair has stopped thinning/falling out. I was very upset when my hair was falling out so much, from my thyroid disorder. Now it seems to be better, since my hair came back after chemo, but, I still worry that it will start to thin again.
Hope everyone is doing well! I will try to check in after my surgery on Thursday.
Harley
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Harley, most positive thoughts are being sent your way for your surgery tomorrow. And my own thought is that we're entitled to feeling a little down in the dumps at times, god knows none of us would have chosen to go through any of the steps we have prior to being told we have cancer. We're all in a survival mode and that takes alot of effort and can be overwhelming.
Jill, what a nice surprise to get a call from you yesterday. I am so glad that you have been able to make a confident decision on your txt. I'm looking forward to being just a few months behind you and calling it good. Washington in July/Aug? Sure hope you'll consider a trip north.
Rita, hit the links after work yesterday, got lucky and we dodged the rain showers, it actually was pretty nice. I hit much better golf than I had at the couples tourney. Shot a 48 for nine holes, and that was with missing 3 putts of less than 3 feet. Can I say YIP???
Glad you had some great family time over the weekend, although we have no grandchildren, I could only imagine that if we did I'd like to be able to be with them as much as possible.
Annie, speaking of family, sounds like your enjoying the heck out of having your daughter home. Enjoy the most of the time ... doggone it they grow up fast.
Got my referal in the mail today so I can get a 2nd op on rads. I know I'll be definitely receiving a full 6 weeks, but still want to pick the brain of another doc, more in regards to hitting the level 3 nodes as well as the chest wall. Hope they call back soon to set up an appt, I am scheduled for my simulation on 12 June.
Okay, time to figure out dinner ... Take care my CMF friends, Carol
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Carol,
Thanks for the wonderful words of wisdom, and the positive thoughts on my surgery tomorrow. Silly of me to be afraid, since this is the last phase of my reconstruction. This will be the first surgery I have had, without being put out. I'll be awake, and... it's kind of freaking me out!!I agree, with all that we've been thru, there are bound to be times when we are feeling down. I just wish I could shake it off.
Hope you get your 2nd opinion rad onc appt. soon, so you can get some answers.
Harley
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Sending good vibes your way today, Harley! Please let us know how it goes! You will do just fine! HUGS!
Rita
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Harley, thinking of you, I will be doing this in the fall............
sending very good thoughts and prayers your way for it all to be easy on you.
Can't the surgeon give you some kind of a mild tranq. so you will still be awake, but not grossed out? I know my ps has said I will be out as he does the nips same time as the implants, but if not, for some reason they did offer to give me ativan. This works great and makes you in the awake but you don't care at all mode.
Good luck!
I suspect they may have an intravenous sedative there for you that they didn't mention also already. Ask!
You will be fine sweetie, you are a trouper.
I've felt down quite a bit, I think I am just tired at the end of chemo and don't feel like doing it anymore, it does get old.
However, #6 on Tuesday! I try not to look at the big picture anymore as it does become overwhelming. But a bus could hit me tomorrow too and all this would be irrelevant.
Carol, where are you at in the treatments? I think you said they end for you in June, then on to rads?
Rita, it sounds like you had such a nice time with your family....it must have been so wonderful!
love to you all.
annie
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Harley, thinking of you, I will be doing this in the fall............
sending very good thoughts and prayers your way for it all to be easy on you.
Can't the surgeon give you some kind of a mild tranq. so you will still be awake, but not grossed out? I know my ps has said I will be out as he does the nips same time as the implants, but if not, for some reason they did offer to give me ativan. This works great and makes you in the awake but you don't care at all mode.
Good luck!
I suspect they may have an intravenous sedative there for you that they didn't mention also already. Ask!
You will be fine sweetie, you are a trouper.
I've felt down quite a bit, I think I am just tired at the end of chemo and don't feel like doing it anymore, it does get old.
However, #6 on Tuesday! I try not to look at the big picture anymore as it does become overwhelming. But a bus could hit me tomorrow too and all this would be irrelevant.
Carol, where are you at in the treatments? I think you said they end for you in June, then on to rads?
Rita, it sounds like you had such a nice time with your family....it must have been so wonderful!
love to you all.
annie
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Oh my, I am tired. posted this twice! sorry girls.
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Harley, you've been in my thoughts today, hoping that your resting comfortably this evening. Take it easy at work tomorrow, its your well being first there gal.
Annie, I had very similar feeling last month thinking that this txt is lasting forever. I think for me its because I post with the ladies from a Jan 2008 chemo group and there would just be a couple of us still plugging along. I seem to have re-grouped a bit over the last couple weeks. I think a lot of my emotions is based around the ol'hormones. They don't know what the heck is going on! Hang in there my friend.
I go in next Weds, for #11 and the following week for my finale!!! Will be finishing up the oral meds on June 11!!! Not that I'm counting the days. I'm scheduled for my rad simulation the day after that. I also have a second opinion opinion by a rad onc on Monday the 9th. Time to gear up for lots of appts once again.
Went for a nice walk tonight with my brother. He has been walking a lot (losing some weight), and mentioned he'd like to walk on some of my training walks. We only walked 4 miles, (had to get home to get my ds to work). Hoping that he will pass his drivers test tomorrow and get his license...big doings around here!!!
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Hi everybody,
I thought I posted here, but I don't see my message...
I'm still alive, the surgery went ok. This is the 1st time that I just had a local, and it is CREEPY, to have them cutting on you, and you are AWAKE! No, Annie, they didn't give me anything for the anxiety, nothing to make me feel sleepy, or even for post surgery, for the pain.
The local is wearing off, and I am starting to hurt... I know... after all I've been through, this should be a walk in the park! That is what everyone says. Also, I hate it when everyone tells me that "I'm ALL done now", because I am still taking that pill every day, and it reminds me that I am NOT done.Sorry, I know that I'm supposed to be positive, but sometimes I guess I forget how... Right now, nothing seems to be going very well, and my dh is mad at me, so I guess when this happens, I just feel like giving up...
Sorry for venting...
Carol, YEA, you are almost finished!! I'll be thinking of you on Wednesday!!
Rita, thanks for the kind words.
Harley
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Hi everybody,
I thought I posted here, but I don't see my message...
I'm still alive, the surgery went ok. This is the 1st time that I just had a local, and it is CREEPY, to have them cutting on you, and you are AWAKE! No, Annie, they didn't give me anything for the anxiety, nothing to make me feel sleepy, or even for post surgery, for the pain.
The local is wearing off, and I am starting to hurt... I know... after all I've been through, this should be a walk in the park! That is what everyone says. Also, I hate it when everyone tells me that "I'm ALL done now", because I am still taking that pill every day, and it reminds me that I am NOT done.Sorry, I know that I'm supposed to be positive, but sometimes I guess I forget how... Right now, nothing seems to be going very well, and my dh is mad at me, so I guess when this happens, I just feel like giving up...
Sorry for venting...
Carol, YEA, you are almost finished!! I'll be thinking of you on Wednesday!!
Rita, thanks for the kind words.
Harley
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Hi everybody,
I thought I posted here, but I don't see my message...
I'm still alive, the surgery went ok. This is the 1st time that I just had a local, and it is CREEPY, to have them cutting on you, and you are AWAKE! No, Annie, they didn't give me anything for the anxiety, nothing to make me feel sleepy, or even for post surgery, for the pain.
The local is wearing off, and I am starting to hurt... I know... after all I've been through, this should be a walk in the park! That is what everyone says. Also, I hate it when everyone tells me that "I'm ALL done now", because I am still taking that pill every day, and it reminds me that I am NOT done.Sorry, I know that I'm supposed to be positive, but sometimes I guess I forget how... Right now, nothing seems to be going very well, and my dh is mad at me, so I guess when this happens, I just feel like giving up...
Sorry for venting...
Carol, YEA, you are almost finished!! I'll be thinking of you on Wednesday!!
Rita, thanks for the kind words.
Harley
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Harley...the procedure is over and behind you! You did just fine!
Annie, Carol, and Harley....The CMF treatments seem like they take forever to finish. Those doing AC or the other treatments usually finish before us and here we are, still plugging along. Although it takes us longer, we did have a few advantages that they didn't have. First, we got to keep most of our hair and often our side effects weren't as severe. I know what you're all feeling right now. They did my treatments as the "sandwich effect." I had my first four chemo treatments, then we broke for the rads, and then I had to go back and do the remaining CMF treatments. After rads, I almost didn't go back to finish the CMF. I had had it! Finally reason prevailed and I did the rest of the series, but it was sooooo hard! You are getting to that point right now. It is sooooooo hard to do those last few, but you can do it. Keep reminding yourself of the advantages of CMF over AC or the other treatments and of the "pretty good" chemo holidays that you've had during treatments. You can do it.
Harley...as for the pill, I'm doing that, too and it's not a guarantee. We still have that unknown that tugs at us at times. I was told that there are more anti-depressant prescriptions written for bc women after their treatments are over than while they are actually doing the treatments. You are not alone in this struggle, but you are one TOUGH gal. You will have your bad days along with many good ones and you will continue on. Try to concentrate only on the day. That has helped me.
Hugs to all of you..........and you too, Jill. You've all been on a major "rocky road" for several months. Eventually you will make that curve and find the smoother surface.
Rita
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Rita,
Thanks! You are so sweet! I know that you understand how I feel. Just being finished with all my tx and surgeries doesn't make me 'all finished, and all better'.
I will try to remember your wise advice, and to try to focus on one day at a time... getting through...
You always know what to say to make me feel better!
Harley0 -
Rita, thanks for the cheerleading ... I think a few of us really needed it. I will be able to look back over the past 6 months and think to myself, and be able to tell others, that this is definitely a very tolerable treatment. Yes it is twice as long, but most of us have not had too many really down days. So in perspective, I'll take it.
Interesting how you had your rads within the middle part of your txt. I hadn't heard of that one ... I asked about starting rads while finishing the last month of txt and got a "NO" for an answer. I have upped my appt for my simulation, I want to make sure that I'm a done deal by the middle of August. I've got people to see and things to do!!!
Harley, hoping that your pain is easing up a bit today, so did we still have to go into work for a few hours, your one tough cookie.
For those on tamoxifen, did you experience much of a difference between being on it and the se's of chemopause? Especially in the hot flash dept ... and the emotional rollercoaster.
Off to take my son to try and get his driver's license, we've passed the written, doing the drive test today. Wish him luck!!!
Carol
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Hello my dear Warrior Goddesses:
Rita that was SO very kind and extremely thoughtful of you to weigh in with encouragement at this taxing and wearying stage of the game...you are certainly this thread's "good angel".
I, for one, am so thankful to be able to have had the CMF rather than the AZT, I would do it again too! I just sometimes am afraid of what lies beyond, and I can certainly see how women going forward with no clear boundaries (and BC certainly doesn't give those) would need more RX for depression than in the doing of treatment. That part of it is clear, you are doing something, then it's nowheresville as to what happens next. The only thing that helps is time. Well, that and I think for me, realizing that nothing in life is a guarantee, no one's getting out of life alive, so we might as well assume the best, right? I do wish my onc had not shared that lung thing in such a traumatic fashion for me, just as I wish none has us had had to face this beast of a disease. But he's a sweetie and I will focus on that instead. I do know I am most certainly in very good hands.
CMF is so wearying, but as you said, do able, and in the main our SEs are not 1. dangerous and 2. tolerable. It's long, but I am grateful to have had the opportunity to do it this way and not the ACT way, that's for sure. Took that prilosec to ward off the acid reflux this time and hoping for the best!
Harley, I can see your husbands' perspective, he is where mine is too. Men are goal oriented and mine seems to believe I am "all better and done" when the chemo is done. We'll have to break them in gently. This is a marathon, not a race. My daughter believes this as well. Probably we will be just fine, but it's those little tenacious tentacles that weigh on one, isn't it. I begin to think the bc survivors should be called battle scarred veterans as alot of us certainly have some sort of post battle trauma syndrome.
I think you are a smart cookie to go get a job and get your mind on living your life and doing something to not think too much about it. One tough cookie too, to get nips and go to work! WOW. Please let us know how the girls look down the road, I have heard on the recon thread that it takes time to settle down with nips and fade to a more natural tone.
Carol, good luck with the drivers' license. My kid got a downright nasty instructor who scared her and flunked her the first time, she just got riled up, and went right back and passed the second time. Good luck to your son! Wow, a license! Big stuff! I was quite concerned, but the kids are smarter and more careful than we ever were, it should all work out great for him. (Besides, they scare the bejesus out of them in the drivers' ed course
). This is not a bad thing!!Everybody stay well, I am off to chemotini bar (nod to Carol, love that) on Tuesday bringing my brownies for the people not doing so well and the brave folk who care for them. #6. YAY! Carol, you'll hit the finish line of the chemo part triathalon before I do, so good for you girl!! We are in the long stretch, and I do see the line for all of us.
love to all
happy memorial day!
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p.s. (of course)
Carol, I had no SEs with tamoxifen, but I do with chemo in regards to the menopausal type stuff. None of those.
Perhaps I would have if I'd had at a later stage of life where i was going in menopause, but otherwise, nothing.
I lost weight, felt great, had more energy, and felt very safe and guarded by the tamoxifen, as in fat, I actuall turned out to be. I got cancer when i went off it after 5 years. (I may have had it all along since the beginning and it may have been a tiny spot they missed, held in check by the tamoxifen that grew when I got off it. My onc says no, this is a new cancer, but memorial sloan kett. the big wigs said that is what happened and i'm believing that is more probable)
In short, tamoxifen is one great, safe drug, easy to take, but not so easy on the old wallet. You will do great on it, kiddo. I bet your SE's get much better!
xoxo
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p.p.s. to harley (sorry, guys, blabbing on today, I should read all posts first!)
Harley, try to think of this pill as a great preventive medicine, not a breast cancer treatment. It is keeping you safe, try to relax and think of it as "I am safer on it, than off".
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Hi ya'll,
Yes, I DID go to work yesterday, but after I fell backwards OFF a stool, I went home, after a TOTAL of 2 1/2 hours at work!! I'm not too sore, but just to be safe, I'm taking Motrin twice a day to ward off any pains I might have.
Annie, thanks for the wonderful advice, as usual. I'm really conflicted about taking the Tamoxifen, because I've been taking it since November, and I am REALLY getting depressed lately. Nothing seems right, and I can't seem to shake this off... I know, you are going to tell me to go see a therapist, but I really don't think I could do that. I really think it's the drug that is making me feel so very depressed. I will see my onc nurse on July 23rd, so I'll ask her then if there is anything I can do about the depression.Funny, I was a little depressed at the end of my chemo, but nothing like this. I guess at the end of each phase of my bc tx, I was kind of sad... now, who in their right mind wants to CONTINUE to do chemo? I was trying to explain this to one of my sisters today, but she really didn't understand... I know that you ladies understand, because you've been there.
I hope everyone has a great week! Good luck to all who are having tx this week.
I may not be around for awhile... gonna try to take a little break from the boards for awhile. I don't know if that will help or not.Harley
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Hi everyone!
The sun was shining in central Illinois today (I'd forgotten how big it really looks!!) and I spent most of the day outside. My pots are now filled with bright, colorful flower and the rest of the flowers are planted in strategic places around the yard. They look so pretty! How I love digging in the dirt! When they were all done I had such a sense of accomplishment. Now I need to weed the iris and other flower beds.
Hang in there gals. You are all getting to the end of the chemo. You can do it!!! Annie, I do so hope the acid reflux stays away this time for you. HUGS!!
Harley, I don't know if the Tamoxifen is the sole cause of your depression and mood swings. Perhaps it's a combination of all that you've been through, all the conflicting thoughts that continue to pass through our pretty little heads, and the uncertainty of the future. I take Arimidex and have some pretty moody days when the tears fall pretty easily. However, one of the Illinois gals on the site said that it's good to cry. Besides releasing stress, she claims that you pee less! :-) I understand the need to get away from the boards every once in awhile. Just check in so we know you are O.K.
HUGS to you also!
Carol....hope you get a chance to hit the links this weekend. I think we are getting the yard and deck ready for summer. Our courses are always to busy over the holiday that you wait longer than you spend golfing. I'm rather spoiled since I can golf during the week when the course is usually pretty open.
Well, have a great weekend and holiday ladies. Catch you later!
Rita
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Rita, my two fav things, working in the yard and golf. Spent yesterday over in Seattle, walked on a training walk with Ginny and some of the team of walkers I'll be doing the 3 day with. We walked 10 miles yesterday, and happy to report no blisters!!! I'm heading back over tomorrow to do a 8 miler. Figure I best get some good mileage in before Weds, as I may not be up to those kinds of walks for a bit.
I love the bit about crying and you pee less, although I'm usually pretty upbeat, I definitely can let um loose at the drop of a hat with the best of them. Figure the ol' body has been on a physcial/ emotional whirlwind, I just prefer not to have a meltdown in front of others.
Harley, although you may not see this post as your taking what might be a good break from everything "bc", know that we're hear when the time is right to check back in. Could your going back to work maybe have an impact on your spirit as of late? I kinda wonder in my own mind what it will feel like on that last infusion day and then a week later when my pills are history. I believe that each of us has our own way to deal with it, and probably knowbody can really relate totally to what is going on in our heads. Be well my friend.
Annie, I'm sure hoping that I'll be as lucky as you when I start Tamoxifen, no se's and lose weight, gotta like that. Thanks for your input, sometimes you just see the negatives of one thing or another, its nice to get another spin on things!
Happy to report the ds got his driver's license, yeah he can drive himself to work and also to his skate practices. Look at all the free time I'll have, Life is Good.
Back to the yard, the dh just brought home a new gorgeous pot, time for me to get my hands dirty again, and another trip to the nursery.
Have a great memorial day, and for those of us off of work, enjoy your holiday,
Carol
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Rita, Thanks! I guess I'm having more trouble staying away than I thought I would. I don't really feel like crying, although I DID cry the other day, for absolutely NO good reason!, but I just feel so down. I don't know about crying making us pee less, but it is a nice thought! I think you're right. It is the combination of all these things... my new job, being at the end of all the surgeries, the sum total of all that I've been through this past year. You are SO wise!
Carol, I think you hit the nail on the head. I have been very ambivalent about the whole 'new job' idea, especially about working at that shop. My dh told me just to look for a job, but, NO PRESSURE, (yea, right!), I should NOT just "settle", but wait for the "perfect" job. So, what did I do? I took the very first job that was offered, and it really is NOT what I wanted.At every phase of my tx, I seemed to have a little bout of depression.
Annie, I think part of my problem is that I took this job too soon, when I am really not ready for going back to 'real life' yet. I will still pop in from time to time, cause I still want to keep tabs on you gals, and your tx, to know how you are all doing.
I will definitely let you know how the 'girls' are doing. My ps told me that my nipples will look pretty ugly at first; they'll be all bloody, red and blue, kind of multi-colored, like it was at first, when he put it on my leg. He also said that they will probably 'set up' a bit, at first, but will eventually settle into place. I go back for my follow up on Wednesday, and I think he will take off the bandages then. Even though he said that I can take off the bandage on my leg, I am kind of squeemish about it, but I will probably take it off, tomorrow, in the shower... The bandage on the breasts, well, the PS will take them off...Sorry for such a long post... I can't keep my mouth shut.
Hugs to all, I'm thinking of you, and hope everyone who has tx will have no se's from them!
Harley
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We all love you, Harley!
Rita
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