CMF Question
Comments
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Hi all, yes, Harley we do all love you here! (Even tho you may not be here)....
I can only think of something a therapist and friend told me once, and pass it on in the hopes it helps you like it helped me...that you have to think of your life like being on a ladder. Keep only one hand or foot off the ladder at any time. If you take two or more off, you will fall.
If you look at what you've just done, (getting nips is a huge, huge thing) and a job, when you have not done it in awhile is a huge huge thing! Not to mention dealing with husbandly dynamics, life dynamics, hormones....Girl, you can't just blithely "get nipples" one day, go to a brand new work, and then expect to feel all fine and dandy. It has to come out of you somehow, dear. To expect this whole year to just have rolled off your back is not gonna happen. You will need some time to process it, get your groove back. It will happen, I promise, but it takes time and you'll need to be gentle with yourself.
I am betting that depression comes from pushing yourself too hard and expecting that everything will be fine now you are "done". Well, as we all know it isn't, and it's an ongoing process. Just put one foot in front of the other each day. The prevalent wisdom is that if you have such an enormous life changing event such as breast cancer (not to mention losing body parts!) that this sets a stage for depression and anxiety issues to arise, as it would. Just accept that you feel down, that it is normal, (and good grief, if you weren't I'd really be concerned!) and if it lasts too long, then maybe think about asking for some help. To cry for "no good reason" is one damn good reason!!! It is a good thing, shows you need it. That's why they call it a "good cry". Besides, it is spring, and a little rain makes flowers bloom sweetie.
Rita, thanks for the encouragement, you are always such a ray of sunshine here for us all, speaking of flowers.
And Carol, you amaze me. I can only begin to believe that you may have hit upon a bona fide way to deal with side effects ie exercise. I still can't keep up with you, but I do agree with all my heart that it sure helps! helps with the old head as well. I get on that bike and put my head in another place, so to speak.
Congratulations about your son! Good for him and you!
I get down too, I think we all do at times, and this is not an easy thing by any means. But what the hell, we are doing it. Bring on chemo #6!!! And Carol, go get 'em on Weds.!
love to all
annie
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So Harley, I must say that I have read a few of your other threads that you entertain, and all I would like is that your feeling of possibly being overcome with everything "bc", will start to mellow out. You have certaintly received a large amount of support, ideas as to what maybe would help Harley out, and to get you over the hump of feeling just downright shitty. I will not add to anything already spoken, but must agree that your feelings are not unwarranted, hopefully it will just take some more time, gal you've been to hell and back...life in my mind should not just bounce back to normalacy, it shall take a bit of time, and that time will be different for all of us. As has been reiterated, when you feel like popping in to chat, bitch, tell of whats been happening, good or bad, you just chat away. You are a strong woman and have helped so many of us with our journey, a great big KUDO's to you from me!
Carol
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Amen to everything Carol just put so well...........stay in touch Harley and give yourself a break hon. You are one strong, focused lady and my hat's off to you!!
love and happy memorial day to all! I'm off to the Chemotini Bar (nod to Carol) tomorrow for #6!
love
annie
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Good luck tomorrow, Annie. Go get 'em! It won't be long and you'll no longer be seeking out the pac-men to chase away the nasty cells. You're getting to the end, hon!
Carol...enjoy your weekend. Your post to Harley was especially well worded and so true. It provides thought and insight to all of us. No golf for us today. First the sun shines and then it drizzles. Even if the sun comes out, the course will be too wet for a duffer like me. Guess I'm resign myself to finishing projects in the house!
Enjoy the holiday, gals!
Rita
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Hi all:
Well, #6 down, thanks for all the encouragement and support ladies, it truly mean the world to me and makes all the difference.
Carol, good luck tomorrow, will be thinking of you at the "bar"!
All I got so far from this one is very swollen hands and feet which they tell me is normal and temporary ...so was the dizziness last time. Always something to keep ya on the toes!
love to all
annie
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Good luck tomorrow, Carol!
Yeah Annie....number 6 is DONE!!! Yes, the swelling is temporary and I only had it once. Strange how every treatment is a little different, isn't it? Let's hope for no other side effects so you can enjoy that daughter of yours!
Hang in there gals!
Rita
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Good luck tomorrow, Carol!
Yeah Annie....number 6 is DONE!!! Yes, the swelling is temporary and I only had it once. Strange how every treatment is a little different, isn't it? Let's hope for no other side effects so you can enjoy that daughter of yours!
Hang in there gals!
Rita
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Good luck tomorrow, Carol!
Yeah Annie....number 6 is DONE!!! Yes, the swelling is temporary and I only had it once. Strange how every treatment is a little different, isn't it? Let's hope for no other side effects so you can enjoy that daughter of yours!
Hang in there gals!
Rita
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Annie, here I sit in my own little world, my apologize for not recognizing your txt day today.
Swollen hands and feets, so is this possibly due to the steriods for nausea? Hoping that it goes away just as fast as it showed up. I'd say sweet dreams but if your like me your probably not sleeping to well tonight. Hope you can rest up tomorrow.
Rita, had a very pleasant eve of golf with the ladies. Sun was shining, and my game was "sorta" on!!! Just missed my post game glass of vino, back on the wagon for 2 more weeks!!!
Will check in the morning, prior to heading to Chemotiniville!!!!
Carol
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Gosh, Carol, you have enough happening w/out keeping track! No apology neccessary, we are all in this boat together.
Good luck today, I managed to get about 4-5 hrs. sleep but of course am up now. I think it's the steroids too, as I also can't pee like the first time and have that white, puffy face. Alot of this stuff just is unavoidable but temporary I guess.
I miss vino too, if ever a girl needed a drink, we too. I fake it with cranberry juice and seltzer with a lime. Not exactly the same thing.
Thinking of you today and sending good Carol vibes!
xxo
annie
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Yikes, do, not too. Hopelessly scrambled today.
love to all
annie
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Hi all:
Just now noticed your post, Rita, (or do you prefer Rita Jean?)
Thank you so much, yes, I figure you stick therapeutic poison in the body, well, weird stuff happens. It is good to know this is "par for the course" if you will forgive the golf pun Carol and Rita.
The other day I felt so tired all of a sudden, hard to put one leg in front of the other. Sat down for awhile and bounced back, and was thinking "oh my goodness, what is my problem"...I had actually FORGOTTEN I was on a chemo regimen. Which is either chemo brain or just forgetting, but I sure had to laugh.
Saw someone in really bad shape yesterday at chemo and tried to bolster her spirits a bit...she is one weekly treatments, that has got to be rough!!
Talked a long time with a very nice lady who lost her husband to prostate cancer last year, her mom to ovarian cancer 2 months ago, and her sister 3 months ago to ovarian as well.
She is enduring about the fourth chemo regimen....I felt damn lucky and told her god bless her and that I will pray for her. She has a 20 year old son who she soldiers on for. She looks good and is trucking along, I switched my chemos to mondays so that she'd have some company, there is no one to come with her.
Anybody else want to send good vibes her name is Ciel.
she was doing bookwork in an accounting notebook and I was just in awe....people like that make me feel humbled, the human spirit is amazing.
Well, waiting for the "crash" so just bumbling around on the board and hoping little Harley is feeling a little better about stuff. She's endured alot and doesn't seem to have alot of support from hubby.
Guys just process so differently, I am very thankful to have all you gals to bounce stuff off of, it saves wear and tear on the family and friends try to get it, but of course, they can't.
Everybody get outsides and enjoy this beautiful day, carol, hop on and tell us how you are when you get back! Knowing you, you'll make the best of everything! Go, gal!
love annie
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Hello all,
I'm on a real downer this afternoon. Went for my appt to get #11 out of the way. Had my blood work done, and my counts are too far down to have my txt today. I'm scheduled to go back in on Monday. I sure hope that something climbs by then. I've got a call in to try and reschedule my rad simulation. I thought I had a pretty good game plan to get my txts done by mid Aug. I really hope this doesn't screw that up too much.
I'll check back in later, trying to re-group!!!
Carol
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Oh Carol, that is a bummer. Try and take it easy this weekend, get some sunshine to get those counts back up and I'm sure they will be.
Don't worry from what everyone says, a low count a few times during the game is part of it all. It may delay it a little bit, but I bet it will all work out.
don't fret hon, you'll get there!!
love to you
annie
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I'm back among the not so feeling sorry for myself this morning. Had a very informative call from my rad doc yesterday, I had called their office thinking I would need to re-schedule my simulation appt. I received a return call from the doc (not the receptionist or nurse), had an extremely candid conversation, I revealed to her that I had seeked a 2nd op from Seattle Cancer Care (which she thought was a very good thing). We discussed amongst other things, oopherectomies, vs. meds to shut down the ovaries, an appt I have this Fri to have a ultrasound on my supposedly good side, and again what her feelings are towards my rads regimen. We spent a good 20-30 min. on a conversation that I thought would be a done deal with the receptionist. Thankfully she was not opposed to having my sim on my targeted date prior to my setback of chemo today. She typically would like about 2 to 3 weeks after that to start rad txts, but said that if my counts we're up, she would not be opposed to starting as soon as one week after my oral cytoxan dose is finished.
Bottom line, I'm planning on cation come about 13/14 Aug!!!
Planning on taking both tomorrow and Friday off from work, my first real time off unplanned throughout this whole adventure. I had to call back to my onc's office late today to ask about my training regimen I've been trying to adhere to for the 3 day walk. Since I don't feel run down I want to be able to keep on walking ... I was told that as long as its not in say in a mall/gymnasium setting, anywhere there are alot of people in a closed in space it should be okay to walk if I feel up to it. Our walks are outdoors, typically in area of little traffic, some trails, and I just won't breath around anybody to close. I was told to be careful if I have allergies, which can bring on infection in my snoot. Basically, lots of hand washing and try to stay away from large groups of people especially in a close in environment.
I know this is a pretty small thing to get worked up over, but I am so close to seeing that light at the end of the tunnel, looks like I have a couple of more twist and turns before it brightens up completely. Going to enjoy some down time around the house today.
Annie, how nice to befriend the gal at your chemo center, my thought is that what goes around comes around, you go gal!
Harley, hoping your high spirit is still there, and that some time away will be just what your soul needs at this time. Thinking of you, and wishing a turnaround of all fronts for you.
Carol
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Oh Carol, that is good news that things are still on track for you!
Where there's a willl, there's a way...it's also good that it isn't the flu season, so if your counts are down, you probably wouldn't catch anything anyway. I still act like Howard Hughes and we all use Purell after every outing, worked like a charm and kept us all well.
You'll bounce back, I know you will sweetie, keep that old Carol spirit going, and you'll do just fine!
Harley, I also am thinking of you and sending good vibes in case you are lurking, but if you aren't, I am sending them anyway! Hope as Carol does, this time to be "quiet" and in your own space heals your spirit and your soul.
God bless
love
annie
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Carol,
I tried posting last night, but was kicked out about 5 times (fustrating).Sorry to hear about your counts. I'm sure they will be back up by Monday. Then #11 will be DONE!! You are almost there girl. Rest, rest and more rest. How many rad txts. will you be having? It's will be a piece of cake compared to the chemo and time sure does fly. Hang in there! Had my 1 month followup with my onc. today and he was in agreement with my decision for Rads. that made me feel alot better. He will just continue to monitor me closely. Will be scheduling a Pet scan to make sure all is well. It was encouraging to hear that the aches and pains that I've been experiencing are just leftover SE's from the chemo.
Enjoy your days off!
Thinking of you,
Jill
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Hi everyone,
I am just popping in with a quick message. I am still struggling with this post treatment life, and I guess the reason I said I'd stop posting is that I can't seem to be very positive about anything these days, so my posts are just a real downer.
There has to be more to life than this, but I can't seem to find out who I am any more, and the things that used to make me happy, well, they don't anymore.I'll still be lurking, and if I ever feel up to it, maybe I'll even post again more often, if I can ever feel 'up' again.
Thanks...you are all so very nice!
Harley
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Jill, great to see your words, sounds like you have a good game plan and that your at peace with your decision to for go rads this go around. Here's to good looking PET scan!!!
My rads are supposed to be for 5 days a week/times 6 weeks. I still am scheduled for 12 June for my simulation, and I have a second op scheduled for 9 June. Tomorrow I'm headed in for an ultrasound of my supposedly good side that had a suspicious spot last Oct. Hoping that I havn't opened a can of worms with the test, but also don't want to continue on with my blinders on.
Harley, just to let you know, you can come and vent anytime you feel the need. This post is not just to express the positives that we may be experiencing, but also a great place to express the negatives that may encompass our lives. Your not being a downer in any sense, your just looking for some support and thats what this whole post is about. Chin up gal ...
Carol
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Good morning ladies.......I've been in Chicago for a couple of days. The Illinois breast cancer thread of ladies (under Help Me Get Through Treatments on this board) met for supper on Wednesday night so my friend Mary Jane (a 13 year survivor) and I drove up and then stayed the night to avoid a late two-and-a-half hour drive home. Like all of you, these ladies are fantastic and it was so good to see the ones that I've already met and meet those who have recently joined out group. Naturally we had to shop a little while we were up there, too. LOL
Carol...I hear your frustration and distress over the low counts and the chemo delay. Eat plenty of red meat. That will help with the low counts. You have done so good through this entire treatment plan. This is just a bump in the road but it appears like a mountain because you've been breezing along so well. I'm so glad you're going to get your rad sim right on schedule. You are going to get through this in record time. Since the chemo is cumulative in nature, it takes a heavier toll on our bodies as we get toward the end. When you got that second treatment, there were still chemicals from the first treatment in your body. When you got the third treatment, there was a slightly higher portion of remaining chemicals in your body...and so it goes! You're getting toward the end of all this and it's built up pretty good by now! Like I said...eat red meat (the perfect excuse for steak!!!), drink plenty of fluids to keep the chemicals washing through and out of the body, and rest a little more. Keep planning that mid-August vacation!
Jill, for some reason I missed your post about your rads decision. From what I've gathered, you're not going with the rads this time??? Doesn't it feel better now that you've finally made your decision? I'm the type of person who has trouble deciding on chocolate cake or coconut cream pie for dessert. The decisions that we have to make on this voyage were very mind-boggling for me. Hang in there hon! I'm sending good vibes for a clear PET scan and hugs across the miles to you!
Annie...you just keep plugging along like a real "trooper!" I hope you're doing O.K. right now and enjoying the time with your daughter. You are such a sweetie! I love the way you interact with others in the chemo room and try to help and motivate those who need that uplift. Doesn't it make you feel good to reach out? A few months ago, I volunteered for the Reach to Recovery program that' run through the national cancer society. I'd never heard anything from them and then got a call on Tuesday with a training date. I hope that I'm a good fit for the program as I'd like to be able to help others who are having difficulty with their diagnosis and the journey. I guess we will see........
Hi Harley! Hang in there! I, too have had the after treatment melt-downs. If you ever need to do so, PM me and we'll hash them over! I think that the hardest thing about the after treatment time is that we expect everything to get back to normal and it doesn't work that way. We just have to find that new normal for us and it's so hard to do!
Have a good day, gals!
Rita
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Hi ladies,
Carol my counts were really low the second last treatment. I had to miss it, and it delayed everything a week. In retrospect not a biggie. You are on the final lap and radiation flies by. All the best!
Harley, in some ways after treatment can be really tough emotionally. After being in "survival mode" for so long, everything kind of hits you and it takes time to walk through this. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself a break, you have been through a lot. Cry. Tell people who you are close to how you feel and get lots of hugs. This too shall pass! Hang in there, it does get better!
Hugs to Annie, Rita, Jill too.
Ginny
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Oh Ginny! I'm so glad to see a post from you. It made my day. I really miss you and Candie. I hope all is going well for you!
Rita
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Wow, what a great group of gals to lean on ... thanks for the encouraging words. I do know that in retrospect this little set back is minimal.
I'm actually feeling on top of the world this afternoon. I had an ultrasound of my good side (I guess that would be my only side now!!!), and any suspicious spots that appeared in Oct are not visible via u/s today. YEAH ... I went to my appt today with my guard up, in fact last night was a terrible nights sleep, thinking my god if something does appear am I ready to hear what they may have to tell me. What a relief, was told to have a MRI come Oct. So I'm on cloud nine with regards to my remaining hoot!!!
Rita, too cool to keep in touch with ladies from the Chicago area. I see your group postings quite often, I sure hope that the group I chat with on a Jan 08 chemo post will be able to gather at some point. I know it won't be quite as easy as we're spread at all over the nation. I am planning on meeting one of the ladies in August at her home in CA (one reason I don't want a delay for my rads), and now it looks as if another lady from WV may be in the same neck of the woods during that time period. We as a group have chatted about a "reunion" of sorts, my guess is that by next year it may just be a hand full of us that will be able to attend. I have my bags packed for that one for sure. This strange way of feeling this huge bond with like folk is just surreal to me. Heck I never spent even a few minutes on a computer a day and now its my lifeline!!!
I asked about diet to raise my blood count, I believe that to raise my red cells, red meat is tops, but the white count is another story. I have had steak as well as chicken the last two nights. And as far as hydration, been hitting the water pretty good, and since I did not have an infusion of "M", a little vino to top the eve's off!
Ginny, what a nice surprise to see your post, if you only knew what it means to have such a nice group of ladies looking out for me and giving that little pick me up when its needed, Thanks!
Annie, how we doing? Any relief from your swelling? I've personally been so lucky to be breezing along, hate to hear of a sister friend having some tough luck with the se's.
Off in a few to meet of all people a gal who works to set up radiation machine (atleast I think thats what she does), she actually is friends with my rad doc, and I will be meeting her at my sister-in-laws house this eve. Should be some interesting conversation ... I'll report back!!!
You gals are the best, Carol
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Hi all,
Yesterday was a very low day. Today, I seem to be doing a little better.
Tamoxifen can also cause depression, and I just can't bear the thought of taking it for the next two or three years, if I am going to feel this bad all the time... there HAS to be more to life than depression, hot flashes, and insomnia...
Thanks for all the warm posts. I wanted to stay away, because I felt guilty for not being more 'positive', like the rest of you are.
Thanks, Ginny, you are so very nice! I haven't been able to cry, but I find myself feeling very ANGRY alot of the time.
Rita, I just may take you up on your kind offer! I just don't know how to 'fix' me, to make me whole again.
Annie, thanks for the positive vibes!
Carol, Congratulations on the good u/s report!! YEA!!
Those rads sound scary to me! You are ONE brave woman! I couldn't bear the thought of rads, so I just had the bi-lateral mast, with reconstruction. Now, though, I'm thinking that the reconstruction has been really annoying, and maybe I should have just stayed flat.
Hope everyone has a Happy Weekend!
Harley
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Hi girls!
Carol, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! I am sooo happy for you, couldn't sleep last night (hopefully menopause, not chemopause) and had you on the mind, praying that the spot under suspicion was AOK...thank god, sweetie. And how utterly beautiful is that picture of you and your cute hubby together. Just love it. thank you for sharing it. Love shines out of it. Sooo great you don't have to put off anything. I heard from my onc's office that 15 minutes of sunshine without sunblock will get those old counts up as well. Good luck!! Small bump in the road, but eye on the prize, not the process.
Go Carol!!!!!
Rita, thanks so much for the good words and encouragement. You are always so kind and encouraging to everyone here. I am so happy to be almost at #7! My SE's have been pretty minimal and the swelling went away, just like you said. NO NAUSEA and no drugs for it either!!! I took Prilosec and it worked like a charm. I feel good. A little more tired, but overall, I'll take it. I went online and found the lemon drops you swore by and gee, do they work! Also found these bizarre candies from Britain, ginger chews that work as well.
I am looking into how I can volunteer with ACS to help other ladies thru this, ideally I would love to be able to go bedside when women wake up and look at themselves in the hospital and think "oh boy, now what" as we all do. I just recall wishing someone would pop in that had had this done and give me some actual words of encouragement about the whole thing. So that's what I'd like to do
I have the feeling this is what I was spared for. Assuming that the lung thing isn't cancer of course, sure hope not! I guess we've all got those monsters in the closet, don't we. The challenge is not letting him out.
Ginny, so nice to hear from you as always. Is all well with you? I hope you are staying healthy and strong. You always pop in with such nice positive things to say that help so much.
Harley, how great to hear from you, sweetie! If it helps I felt exactly the same way the first cancer go 'round. I didn't even participate in anything "cancer related" even get any support from friends or tell anyone, as I was in complete denial. That just wasn't going to be me, I thought. I'd always relied on my looks and modelling career (catalogs, makeup and here's the worst....lingerie!!! Lingerie model with breast cancer!(ha! ha! what a joke! On me, I guess) and I didn't know who or what I was supposed to be after cancer! It was who I was, (yes, very shallow) and now I was totally lost. The first lumpectomy left me very lopsided and deformed on my remaining boob. Had to reinvent a whole new me I thought, and I just did not know where to even begin, having done that and the stupid pageant stuff since I was fifteen years old encouraged completely by my mother who vicariously took pride in all that crap. Then I realized that geez, I am 50+, where exactly can you go with that career at this age? Answer: new career, new me. Figured it was as good a time as any to reinvent myself, bec. the old me was certainly gone. And damn good riddance to her, too. Hopefully becoming someone less focused on the external nonsense which so DOES NOT MATTER AT ALL. So I was thankful to figure that one out and I have to thank bc for it. Yeah, I know that sounds weird, but there is always some silver lining somewhere. That, and a sense of humour, altho I will admit, mine takes it to the extreme at times, are so helpful.
Then, after the whole treatment finished, it hit and I cried for like a week, I think. I was sure I was depressed. Spent a week in bed. Then I got a grip and realized, hey, this is what it is, and might as well make lemonade. All kinds of possibilities open up when you stop looking at who you "thought" you were and realize who you can be. I am now seeing boob cancer as making me stronger and more importantly, helping others thru it.
My hope for you is that you can figure out who this funny, sweet, loving and kind lady named Harley is as of today and where she feels like going in her life. You can do anything you want, you possess smarts and ambition obviously, as even in the throes of bc you were making jewellry.
You have taken on so much, it's so much stress, hubby wants it all OK already(they all do, by the way), and we've all been where you are. It will and does get better. Harley just needs to cut Harley some slack. Even that beautiful smile of yours needs some time off at times. You keep on trucking sweetie, we'll be here if need be.
I'm with Rita, PM me anytime as well. We all believe in you.
Blathering on this AM, please excuse me! I hope everyone in the midwest is OK with this violent weather we've been having.
love to all
annie
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Oh thanks, Annie! I am trying to sort out all these feelings I'm having, and I wish I could cry and get it all out. But, I find myself ANGRY more often now. Maybe because bc has taken all the happiness out of my life.
I used to work in an office, and I'm not sure that the retail world is really my cup of tea. But, I only want to work part time, and if I go back to work in an office, as a receptionist or admin. asst., I think that will require full time, and I don't think I can do that again.
Thank you all for all your support!! I will get through this, but I think it will take longer than it should.
Hugs
Harley
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Good morning everyone!
Carol...I hope the days off have helped you rest up and have helped to bring up those counts. It's a constant worry when the counts are down because we are so susceptible to infections and viruses. It's hard for we "go-getters" to just rest, isn't it? As long as I could stay active, I was able to move right on with the journey. My mind traveled to forbidden places when I just sat around (and still does!!).
Annie, you might want to check into the Reach to Recovery program through the American Cancer Society. They assign survivors to newly diagnosed bc patients and you help them get through the diagnosis and journey. I am going through a training for this in July and think it will be a good fit for me. I'm a people person and just feel better when I'm around people or helping somebody else.
Harley, you will find the perfect job for you. It may just take a little time. This retail job is probably just a stepping stone for you. Try to go just one day at a time. I know that is easier said than done.
Tomorrow is mammogram day for me. After my mammo, I go directly to the surgeon's office who will give me the official results and examine me. I wish I could say that I am not nervous, but I am! LOL Long-time survivors tell me that this anxiety lessens with time, but I'm not so sure. The "what-ifs" have been sneaking into my head for the past two weeks. I try not to worry because I know the worry won't change anything. Like you, Harley, I'm still trying to find my "new normal."
Well, I have things that I need to get done today. I hope all of you have a good day. The sun is peaking through the trees and sunshine always lifts my spirits.
Talk to you later.
Rita
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Good AM all:
Rita, good thoughts and prayers and wishes winging your way for tomorrow to be just fine. I am sure you will get the all clear and tomorrow will be a wonderful day for you. I know I always got pretty scared (translation: drooling and shaking) before mammos but just go on with your day today, go get 'em, knowlege is better and is power. Cancer is like weeding, gotta stay on top of it and get those little suckers before they screw up our lives.
But most important, be careful driving to that surgeon appt!!! It's tough to drive when you are nervous, so please be careful and let us know the good news asap, ok? Good luck, but all will be well i am sure.
Thanks for the heads up on the Reach to Recovery, that sounds good and i think anyone who got you would be one lucky person. You have an absolute gift for putting things the in the very nicest and most helpful way. It's a perfect fit and they are lucky to have you!
I will most definitely be looking at that when I am through so I have something to pass on to other women. In fact, I am also going to ask them if they have a "post traumatic stress syndrom" plan in place, cuz if there isn't one, there ought to be. We have been thru a war, we are vets, we need support!!
Carol, hope those counts are rebounding as we speak. In fact, I am betting they are! But please take it just a tiny bit easy on Carol, and help her to build herself up!. You will sweetie, it'll all be fine. If they end up giving you the shot, ignore all the horror stories and go get it. I had no se's from it whatsoever, alot of people don't but of course, we only hear about the bad tales. It's a good shot with some great protection. Here's betting you won't need it. Heck you are at the tail end of chemo, and walking and working; my hats off to you!!
Harley sweetie, you are going thru a perfectly normal process. And it takes as long as it takes, there is no template. I just wish you could see you as we all do and see how admirable you are and how brave you are. Tell hubby you need some understanding and patience and love just now.
Anger, tears, fear, rage, etc. are all part of recovery and that is a good thing! I'm in the same boat vis a vis "now what" for a career, tho I am a trained illustrator, that doesn't seem to do it for me now, either. I don't want office work either tho I do like retail. As I said, the other career is gonezo for me, so we'll both have to figure it out.
Just ride the rapids, it'll calm itself down sweetie. Your light will come back and probably more than before as you will be able to savor the sweet so much more for going thru what you have.
I learned last time "don't sweat the small stuff" (and it's all small stuff) as someone alot wiser than me put it!
love to all
annie
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Hello Ladies,
I tried to thank you all this morning for your positive mojo you sent flying my way. Had a nice post done and submitting into lost cyberspace. Actually our cable and telephones went belly up too. So in a nut shell -
YEAH, my counts were almost doubled those of last Weds. A few days of walking, golfing, puttering in the yard, dinner with friends, must have all been good. I'm on cloud nine, hoping that I can breeze through the next 14 days.
Rita, my thoughts will be with you tomorrow. I had "those" feelings of uncertainty just last Fri with my U/S. I like to not live my life with blinders on, but I really don't think I would have been even slightly prepared to hear something I didn't want to hear.
My guess is that it may get a bit easier with time, but it will never be like the pre-bc for any of us. You go gal, and I'll be sending some of that great positive spirit right back to Illinois for you!
It was a reminder to my to hear about Reach to Recovery. My surgeon had mentioned it to me way back when and said he thought maybe I'd be interested in using the resource or better yet get involved with it. As Annie so nicely stated, you would be a terrific person to have on any support team. Just look at what you do for all of us on an almost daily basis. Some people definitely have that special feel to them and your one that has it big time.
Annie, I love your words of encouragement to Harley, hopefully knowing that she is definitely not alone will help ease some of her stress as of late. Each day on these posts I am just blown over with the love and encouragement that just keeps on giving. My god I feel sorry for any person going through whatever kind of hardship (health or other) and not having a group to know that you can get such great feel good advice.
Off to get a massage, then it looks like its back to work tomorrow. Life is Good!
Carol
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(((hugs))) and prayers Rita.
Love,
Ginny
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