Illinois ladies facing bc
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Hi:The book I suggested is not a "How To" book but more of a book on the culture of the Lakota. The title is The Lakota Way of Strength and Courage by Joseph M. Marshall III. It is subtitled Lessons in Resilience from the Bow and Arrow which could be a limited subject for many. The loss he faces is the loss of the Native American culture among his people.
I ordered the book Adey suggested (Neither Wolf nor Dog).
Jackie, i would be happy to send the books on when I am finished with them. I do not have that list of addresses anymore. If you are interested (if anyone is interested) let me know. Susan
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Today expect something good to
happen to you no matter what occurred yesterday. Realize the past no longer
holds you captive. It can only continue to hurt you if you hold on to it. Let
the past go. A simply abundant world awaits.
Sarah Ban Breathnach0 -
Beautiful Sunday sun out dancing in the sky. It will warm enough today I think to make some mud. Not my favorite but any warmth will be welcomed. We continue with our on and off again winter. I can hang in there anyway.
I find Spring ( which I have started to long for ) such an exciting miracle to watch happen and un-fold. Despite the ups and downs of life, the pushes and pulls, it is a beautiful time of renewal when we feel and see and smell the freshness of beginning again. Nothing like it. Well, maybe a really good old-fashioned cheese-cake, but certainly nothing else.
Hope your Sunday is special. Thinking of all of you with warmth and sending good cheer.
Blessings,
Jackie
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Things not so good with me. I'm posting as a warning more than anything.
I started bleeding Nov 11. I thought it was a urinary tract infection. Spent 2 weeks on antibiotics, I did have an actual infection.
When the two weeks were up the infection was gone but the bleeding continued. The dr sent me to a uri-gyne. She inspected my bladder and found nothing wrong. She suspected that the bleeding was coming from the vagina.
So I went to my gyne. She saw no blood.. Sent me for a vaginal ultrasound, a kidney ultrasound, and I can't remember how many tests. Everything looked good. The uterine lining was "a smidge thicker than we like it to be, probably nothing but an endometrial biopsy was necessary to be sure." She tried doing it in the office but the pain was too great so she set up a d & c.
By this time the holidays were in full swing. My new grandson had arrived. I canceled the d & c. It was probably nothing and I was scared. I went to another dr for another opinion and he was more worried. said that he personally had found 2 cancers in the lining of the uterus of women with no thickening at all. I had several risk factors for cancer, overweight, diabetic, breast cancer. So he would do a d & c as soon as he got back from vacation in January! This was before Christmas!
I was happy! Thought it was a reprieve.
So, with my daughter home from college and my prof husband on winter break I decided I was well until further notice and would enjoy myself.
After the New Year I got nervous. I didn't want to wait any longer to find out. I scheduled the D & c. Before going in I actually asked the resident why they didn't just remove everything, then I wouldn't have to go through this ever again.
The dr actually apologized for doing the D & C. She said she was sure it was nothing but she just had to be sure. I told her I'd just read "Cancer Shmancer" about how Fran Dresher's cancer had been missed by 9 drs because they wouldn't do a d & c on her.
After surgery she said all looked good. She did remove a polyp.
Eight days later...pathology...cancer. Poorly differentiated ie aggressive.
I meet with the surgeon Tuesday. She's young and I've had terrible experience with U of Chicago but I have to get this thing out of me fast. The cells are wildly replicating. It's a race against time. I called Sloan and Anderson but they both have wait times of over a week just to meet with a surgeon. Decisions, decisions.
I'm sharing all of this because I want everyone to know that they are not neurotic to think the worst and fight for themselves. I put everyone and everything before myself, as most women do and now it may cost me my life. Speak up! Push the drs. The squeaky wheel does get the grease and if you don't go to a different dr!
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So sorry to hear it Timbuktu...good for you for insisting on going ahead with the d/c, we are behind you all the way with whatever is coming up--stay strong!
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Timbuktu that sucks but I'm so glad you pushed and saw another MD. Have you checked local: Northwestern, Rush, Cancer Treatment of America, Loyola?
2 thinks I have learned blood & pain are never a good sign. (I knew I was screwed when blood was discharging from my nipple).
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Tim I hate to hear this for u and all the confusion too---but when finding this now they can go head and treat you and hopefully successfully. Good thing u pushed, But like Lago said blood is not a good sign and something that should be acted on immediately.(((PRAYERS)))
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group hug
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Tim, so sorry to hear your news, however your persiverence prevailed and you now can move forward and get the proper treatment!! Hugs!
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Timbuktu,
Hope is some extraordinary spiritual grace that God gives us to control our fears, not to oust them.
Vincent McNabb
You sound like you are very much in control, so much that you think of all of us here to share with to stir our awareness. You have a wonderful spirit and I hope you are given loads of assistance to take care of this terrific issue with all the haste necessary to get you back to where you need to be. I will include you in my nightly prayers to the Universe. Stay strong.
Blessings,
Jackie
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Timbuktu I'm so sorry. (((hugs))))
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Tim,
I'm so sorry to hear of this. Let's hope this has been caught early and you will be fine after surgery. I've read you are Jewish. Did you do BRCA testing?
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Timbuktul and everyone else:
I think this reminds us again how much is NOT KNOWN about our bodies by our doctors and by ourselves. Lago, I too had blood from the nipple two plus years before being diagnosed. I was relieved the mammogram was normal. Silly me....the mammogram was always normal until the mri. I was actually asked if I had rowdy sex (sorry, not me). I am certain now that in fact I had some sort of early cancer signs that were dismissed by my doctors as my mammogram was normal
Thank you, Tim, for being so giving to warn women on the imprtance of being proactive when you in fact are so hurting! Blood and pain can be dismissed easily but it is not normal!
Susan/Zap
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Doxie & Timbuktu The incidence of BRCA+ is only slightly higher in in Ashkenazi Jews. Usually there is some family history already of breast cancer, ovarian cancer (especially at a younger age) or male breast cancer.
Zap I had some soreness when pressed on the side of my left breast 3 years prior. No lump felt, mammo call back year before but US said clear, so PCP said it was connective tissue. It never went away or got worse. Frustrating since we did report the symptoms but everyone gave us the clear.
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I was tested for BRCA and I am negative. I even got the extra test, still negative. I think that there are other, unknown genes, that cause this. I know someone who had both breasts removed because her mother and two sisters got cancer. They don't have BRCA but the drs say they have SOMETHING! So much is unknown, true.
There is so much emphasis on a positive attitude, on being strong, on eliminating negative thinking, that I think we really do ourselves a disservice. I can't tell you how many people told me I was overreacting about the blood. That it must have been the uti and it would clear up with antibiotics, etc. I think people dismiss because the find it uncomfortable or they think that it's the "right" way to think. And as a worrier, I decided to believe them. One friend told me, when I said "it may be nothing" ..."It definitely is nothing!" I liked that and told myself that. Dumb!
Better to go with the fear, listen to the fear, than deny the fear. Anxiety is built into us as a way to survive!
I had felt my lump two years before the dr did. Before it showed up on the mammogram.
It's not my nature to push. I comply. No good!
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Timbuktu If there's one thing I've learned from all this it's you know your body better than any MD. You're in it every day. If the "what if" is life threatening the go for the 2nd opinion and continue to follow up.
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Trust u'rself, Drs. can be wrong--and this was told to me by a Dr.
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I haven't been at this site lately but I just have to say something to Tim-thank you so much for sharing your story but so sorry you have to go through it. I agree that you know your body better than doctors. Have you tried your local hospital? I don't know where you live but La Grange/Hinsdale doctors saved my life. I did my research and settled on Northwestern. I even got a second opinion from University of Chicago. I had a terrible experience at Northwestern from the doctor who did my MRI biopsy and left an open, painful wound to my surgeon who removed 27 healthy lymph nodes and left in the one cancerous one. Thank God I didn't like the oncologist there and went to the one at La Grange/Hinsdale. My team looked at the path report and discovered the mistake. The local hospitals keep up with all the research and experience doctors actually work with you and do all procedures.
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"There is a calmness to a life lived in Gratitude, a quiet joy."
Ralph H. Blum
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Tim - Add me to that group hug!! Sending prayers & good thoughts your way.
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Timbuktu -- I am very much with you and the other ladies on this. There has always been a still small voice inside all of us. When we pay attention ( though it is easy to be pulled off of the voice, especially when "experts" are speaking with you ) we deal with life at the gut level. A basic level of survival and nothing or no one should really supersede that. If I look back over my life I can see times when I didn't heed the inner voice well. Fortunately the results were not 'bad'. I think they happened just to help convince me that the voice was really there and my first duty was to myself.
I have always hated the idea of being seen as a "hysterical" type, but in the long run.....I have gotten by the best and am still here to say it, by listening ultimately, even if reluctantly, to that voice. Its purpose is to help you. We really are never alone in life -- there is that voice.
Interestingly it helps not just in medical matters but in all areas of life....like times I am driving and I get an overwhelming feeling to slow down.....and a car coming from a side road runs the stop sign. It is also a 'conscience' voice when you are faced with right and wrong decisions.
I have learned to see it as a very comforting adjunct and that no matter how alone I might feel in many other ways, when need arises, I have somewhere to turn.
The more you trust your inner voice, the more you can trust yourself. You already know you don't have all the answers, but when you listen, you will always get the important ones.
Blessings,
Jackie
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Thanks all!
I just had my husband read your post fgm. He said "thank God for these blogs, you get the truth".
A lot of people and US News and World report rave about Northwestern. But I have had nothing but bad experiences there. Many.
So my gut just won't let me go there. You have supported my gut! It's hard when there are rational reasons to ignore your gut.
But that still small voice is worth something!
I called Sloan dr. and told them it was an emergency and I had to have an early OR date or I'll go locally. I think my husband was too passive with them. The nurse said she was calling the dr to see what she could do. Action!
If not I'll go to U of C and get it over with. Hope over experience?
I've been reading about Obama's mother. she had what I have. Misdiagnosed in Indonesia. Misdiagnosed in Hawaii. Her mother packed her up and took her to sloan and they diagnosed her correctly but it had already spread and was too late. BTW, she did have insurance.
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Timbuktu I truly believe it's all about the doctor. I have heard both good and bad about Northwestern. Almost all of my doctors are at Rush but I am seeing and endo at Northwestern next month. I liked her credentials and got a referral from another IL Lady.
Have you tried Massachusetts General? The are the top in the nation. My parents won't go any where else. Also Brigham and Women's in MA. I think they are with Sidney Farber. Farber doesn't do surgery
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What happened to that one cancerous node that was left? How did you find out it was cancerous?
When I went to Sloan and they found the micromet in the one node, they said they don't open you up again to take out the other nodes.
So have no way of knowing what's there. They hope the chemo takes care of it I guess, if it's there.
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Yes, the dr is so important. But you also need a team. My radiologist mis read my mri. My pathologist mis read my node. The surgeon was guided by these misdiagnoses. That's what I'm worried about. If they do that again to me, the surgeon might leave in a node that should be taken out. How would she know?
I thought Sloan and Anderson were the top. I haven't tried to contact any others. Johns Hopkins is up there for breast cancer too but I'm not sure about this. I'm near Evanston Hospital... Again many bad experiences. My husband doesn't want me going there, we know too much. But really, I think any hospital had terrible stories, we just don't know them! lol
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Best Hospitals for Cancer in US: http://health.usnews.com/best-hospitals/rankings/cancer
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IllinoisLady,
I listened to the voice inside and did not put off my mammogram. The key for me is to focus on the voice inside and keep the distractions away.
Timbuktu,
My doctors are from NorthShore University. I love the doctors that I have chosen from NSU. I was not happy with the MO that worked with my surgeon so I reached out to one of my doctors and now I have a MO that is wonderful and LISTENS! My MO's nurse is wonderful as well.
Hospitals are the same way. I have been to 3 of the NSU hospitals and will never go back to one of them.
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MAPGIRL, DIDYOU MEAN TO SAY THAT YOU WILL NEVER GO BACK TO A nsu HOSPITAL? tHAT MUST HAVE BEEN A TYPE, RIGHT?
tHANKS LAGO, I HAVE PRACTICALLY MEMORIZED THAT LIST!
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Timbuktu,
No only 1 of their hospitals. I love their Glenbrook Hospital and Evanston is my second favorite.
Sorry for the confusion!
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Map....good for you....the voice says it all.
Blessings,
Jackie/IllinoisLady
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group hug