Stop Smoking Support Thread
Comments
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Had my last chemo today, YAY!!!! And have only smoked two cigarettes today! Sounds great, but I was a total bitch to my cousin and boyfriend who listened to me in the hospital saying "I need to smoke an effing cigarette" about 1,000 times while I had some complications and tests and a lot of stress. It's hard to be nice when all you can think about is smoking, and I'm generally a very thoughtful person...not when I'm craving a cig though! Perhaps I should hole up in my room and stay alone til it's out of my system
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BlueCowgirl,
First let me say you are doing REALLY well at cutting back! 2 cigarettes in a day is great!! And to be doing this while in active treatment... well, my hat is off to you!
That being said... The first few days are rough while the nicotine leaves your body, kicking and screaming the whole way! I did cold turkey and can remember feeling like I had the flu for a couple of days! I also remember laying on the couch and crying for my husband to go and get m e cigarettes! To which he said, I will do ANYTHING else but NOT that! He understood that it wasn't ME talking it was the stupid nicotine addiction and he stood strong!!
Your cousin and boyfriend will understand!! AND, if you can just hang on, it WON'T get any worse than the first few days AND will get better quickly!
BELIEVE in you and STAY STRONG!!0 -
BlueCowgirl - Congrats on finishing chemo. Doing the happy dance with you.
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Waiting for my package to arrive to help me quit. I am anxious to get it and get started. In the mean time I continue to try cutting back on my own and it is really working. I find that I really don't want to smoke as much as I think I do. I try to keep myself busy and not think about it. I am really determined this time and patiently wait for the mail everyday.
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jo1955,
It was really an eye opener to me to see how few of my cigarettes that I smoked during my day were because I really enjoyed them and how many were just due to habit and routine! Don't get me wrong there were those I loved and they were the hardest to give up but, I don't regret quitting in the least.
Hope your package arrives soon!0 -
SeasideMemories - I know what you mean. In cutting down, I am finding that a lot of the times, I really don't feel the need to smoke - it is something that I have done for so long. I am really focusing more now on what if any triggers I have and trying to change those. In my mind, I don't think this is going to be as hard as I thought. Just some positive thinking here.
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BlueCowgirl, congratulations on finishing chemo. I so admire people who quit during active treatment. You are doing awesome with just 2 cigarettes today, you go girl. Remember stay strong, you can do it, you're proving it. The first week is the worst, you sound so determined, cranky is OK, it's the hardest thing to do and you're doing it. Karen
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Dear Jo, I hope your package comes tomorrow, but even without you continue to cut back. I can tell how much you are committed to quiting. You're going to make it by keeping that attitude, just remember stay strong. Each day that passes makes you come closer to becoming a non-smoker! Karen ps, I too was surprised by how much it wasn't as impossible as I first thought it would be. Keep on keeping on.
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Karen - Thanks for the words of encouragement. I need lots of that. I don't know what it is, but I feel it is my time - finally. Have had these same thoughts many times but not this strong. Maybe the BC diagnoses woke me up - who knows and it really doesn't matter. I am going to do this one way or the other.
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Thanks, I appreciate all the congrats, but I feel SO WEAK because I quit cold turkey the day I started chemo 4 months ago and only started again in the past few days...Probably not even enough to have built a physical addiction again. I can't really explain why I did so well for 4 months and am now smoking, but I figure there are a lot of you here in the same boat who will understand...Going to read through this thread and hear your stories.
Wait...this thread is, like, 167 pages. I don't think I can get through it without a cigarette....
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BlueCowgirl, you are doing great, now you know you can do it because you did it before, you are not weak, it takes a strong person to try again and be as determined as you are. There are people who quit numerous times and then for some reason the last time is the true attempt, the one that works. We have all been in that situation before and finally come to the time it works. We are all here to support you and you can do it!
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Bluecowgirl, congrats on finishing chemo! And you CAN do it!!
Jo, you can do it, too. The wanting to quit is 99% of the battle and you sound like you are done!
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Hey everyone! Got my package today. I am so excited. Gonna start tomorrow morning - It will be a new day and a new start. Have a feeling DH is gonna need some work. He has been after me for years to quit and now that I really want to he is showing some resistance. I will be gentle with him - don't want to be a b@@ch about it.
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BlueCowgirl,
I suspect what may have happened was that chemotherapy was your reason for quitting and once that was done, there went your reason for quitting!
Maybe try to come up with some new reasons to quit!
Here were some of mine:
1. I was tired of all the things smoking prevented me from doing! All restaurants, bars and most other public places here in NY are no smoking areas. Before I quit I couldn't tell you the last time that I hadn't rushed through a meal out with friends because I needed to smoke! Or the last time I had seen a movie in the theater (NO WAY could I go that long without smoking)! Even passed on a limo trip to NYC for dinner and a show (something I would have LOVED) becuase no one else smoked and I knew I wouldn't be able to stand the drive down there without smoking!
2. MONEY..... Cigarettes here have hit almost $10.00 per pack!!
3. Was just sick and tired of "The Look". You know the one where your doctors or people you know ask if you are still smoking and you answer yes... God I hated that look!
4. Smoking interferes with healing. I had a lumpectomy this time around and decided that, if this crap ever came back I would have a BMX w/ DIEP reconstruction. Not an option if I was smoking! For goodness sake, cigarettes were even going to dictate what surgery I could or couldn't have!
5. Something not ONE of my doctors told me and I wish they had, was that smoking during radiation raises your risk of developing lung cancer by quite a bit. I smoked all through treatment and I'm not sure it would have mattered even if they HAD told me BUT, I wish I had at least been given the information so that I could make an informed decision!
I'm sure everyone more reasons. The important thing is to find reasons that matter to YOU!
Good Luck!
PS.... Just wanted to add that all of us here DO understand how hard it is to quit and sometimes the reasons why we continue to smoke don't always make sense. They just... are.... It defies reason!
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jo1955,
YAY that your package arrived and that tomorrow is your day to get started!!! I think what you have been doing, figuring out what your triggers are and coming up with a plan as to how to deal with them without a cigarette, is SO important!!! Having a plan will keep you from just getting caught up in the moment and slipping!
Everyone has stresses when they smoked and you will still have stresses after you quit. The difference is finding a different way to deal with it! Interestingly enough, I was always kind of a bit of a type A personality.. always tense and I used cigarettes to calm me. Looking back I think it was the nicotine that contributed to my tenseness! I feel so much more calm now than I ever have. Of course, I STILL have my moments...LOL
Sounds like you are doing a really good job of laying the foundation for quitting for good!
Is your husband trying to quit too?
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SeasideMemories. - DH is going to quit too but I think that is going to be a big challenge. He has been after me for years and I don't think he really knows what he wants to do. At this point, only time will tell. We are supposed to do an 8 week program to gradually reduce and then quit. Like I mentioned before, I have no desire to use any nicotine replacement aids. That would be dumb - been there done that and all it does is waste money - for us anyway.
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I'm so glad to hear others say that about reading. I also love to read and have found I just can't concentrate that much anymore. I've probably read 5 books in the last year that weren't about cancer or healing. I've got two started now. One is a book of short stories. That works because you can read a story or two and put it aside without having to remember where you were in a plot!
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Oh, and besides the lack of concentration, I spend so much time on the Internet now in discussion rooms or researching cancer, that I don't have time to read!
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Lady in Bama, it is interesting how we are all are having trouble concentrating and can no longer read a book a day, perhaps the meds? I too spend a lot of time on the internet, mostly reading and posting on my 3 favorite threads: this one, the E LAB Project and Western New York Women with cancer. On that one there are 8 of us who got to meet in person for lunch and great conversation. One of the women is in my town and we get together for coffee, one probably the only benefit of cancer, getting to meet so many awesome women. Hugs, Karen
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Random Thoughts:
Filtrim--Make sure that you don't cover the holes with your fingers or mouth, I would hope they make that part of the instructions. Low tar/nicotine cigarettes are just the same thing--they have small holes in the filter to add in air but they are placed so that the mouth of the smoker and the fingers to hold the cigarette cover the holes but the machines used to calculate tar/nicotine--don't cover the holes. there is also compensatory smoking--smoking more cigarettes or smoking more of each cigarette and inhaling deeper--the body becomes accustom to a certain amount of nicotine and when it doesn't get tha amount it's used to, compensates.
When talking about addiction to nicotine, what we're talking about is how nicotine changes the structure of a smokers brain. Everyone has alpha4beta2 nicotinic aceytocholine receptors in their brain, from the very first cigarette, nicotine fits into these receptors like a key into a lock and releases a flood of dopamine, --the "I feel good" neurotramsmitter of the brain. The brain likes this sensation so much that it creates more receptors--smokers have a whole lot more of these receptors than non-smokers--and they never go away--that's why someone can quit for years and within a couple cigarettes, be back to the same amount they smoked before. I've had several clients that quit for 20 years and relapsed.
The part of the brain where nicotine hits the most is the survival instinct part of the brain--which is why after quitting, a strong craving can feel like "I'm going to die or go crazy if I don't smoke". Which is why without strong motivation, most smokers aren't successful--it's too easy to give into temptation and have "just one" but then the receptors in the brain wake up and say, "Don't tease me with one, I want the whole pack".
Instead of looking at past attempts as "not working", I suggest you reframe them as "practice runs"--during the time you didn't smoke, you learned somethings that helped and learning what doesn't help can be just as important. It doesn't hurt to call any attempt a "practice run"--takes the pressure off of having to do it perfectly--most quitters have unrealistic expectations of how long it takes, what quitting should look like, and how much or how little help they need.
It is true that former smokers are calmer, have less stress and tension than when they smoked. Often smokers will say, smoking calms me down-helps with stress--but what they are really saying is that if I go too long without a cigarette, I start getting tense, can't concentrate, get stressed--all withdrawal symptoms--which can start within 2-4 hours after the last cigarette. Most smokers wake up going through withdrawals--which is why for some smokers--that first cigarette of the morning tastes so good. the receptors are close to empty and there is more dopamine released with that first cigarette of the morning--the rest of them (for the average smoker--about 1 an hour), is just keeping a level amount of nicotine in the receptors to stave off withdrawals.
Just my two cents, hoping everyone has a joyous day, VJ
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additional random thoughts--the half life of nicotine is 2 to 4 hours--half of the nicotine smoked is out of your body within 2 to 4 hours, another half is gone in another 2 to 4 hours and so on---so nicotine is out of the body fairly quickly---but that does not mean the physical withdrawals are over--what causes the physical withdrawals--are the receptors in the brain--wanting a flood of dopamine--the first week is the most intense but it can take up to 6 months for these receptors in the brain to calm down--this has been seen on functional MRI's. For some smokers--the intense cravings and withdrawals don't start until there is no more nicotine in the body--after 3 to 5 days.
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I'm posting the table of contents for my book--if any of the topics is of interest--I will just post that one chapter:
Quitting is a Process, Not a Onetime Event
Five Steps to Change Your Behavior
Step One: Going from Not Even Thinking About Quitting to Building Desire
• Changing "I have to quit" to "I want to quit"
• Motivation: How to Build Desire to Quit When All You Want Is Another Cigarette
• Carrots and Sticks: Benefits of Becoming Smoke-Free and Consequences of Continuing to Smoke
• The Big Stick Approach
• Value Based Carrots
• Activity: Benefits of Becoming Smoke-free and Consequences of Continuing to Smoke
• Activity: Make a "Reasons to Quit" card
• Questions to Answer
Step Two: Hanging On, Thinking of Quitting But Not Too Soon
• Don't Always Believe What You Think
• "I can't" versus "I don't want to" or "I'm unwilling"
• Change Disempowering Beliefs to Ones of Empowerment
• Positive Reinforcement
• Negative Reinforcement
• Fears
• Loss of Approval
• Loss of Control
• Loss of Enjoyment
• Lack of Skills
• Fear Releasing Activity
• Activity: Benefits of Smoking and Consequences of Quitting
• Reframing
• Activity: Your "Benefits of Becoming Smoke-free" Need to be More Important than Your "Consequences of Quitting"
• Building Confidence
• Questions to Answer
Step Three: Preparation
• Smokers Don't Plan to Fail but Fail to Plan
• Set a Quit Date
• Developing the Courage and Commitment to Change
• Top Priority
• Commitment
• Getting Ready Behaviorally
• Activity: Tobacco Use Record
• Reasons for Smoking
• Activity: Make a Smoking Corner and Smoke by the Clock
• Activity: Creating a Personalized Action Plan
• Getting Ready Physically
• But Is Nicotine Really Addictive?
• Nicotine and Your Brain: Common Symptoms of Physical Addiction
• Activity: How Many Puffs Have You Smoked?
• Should You Use Cessation Medications?
• Reasons to Use Medications
• Reasons Why Medications Don't Work
• Holistic Approach or How to Quit Without Medication
Step Four: Quitting
• The Week Before Your Quit Date
• Getting Ready Mentally
• Activity: Write a Goodbye Letter to Your Cigarettes
• Finding Social Support
• Activity: Withdrawal Symptom Card
• Closet smokers
• Finding Professional Support
• Avoiding Sabotage
• Activity: Make a Deal With Your Smoking Friends
• Activity: Build a support system and avoid saboteurs
• Activity: Make a Survival Kit
• Environmental Control
• Your Quit Day
• Recovery and Withdrawal Symptoms
• How Fast The Body Heals After You Quit
• Five Steps to Change Your Self Talk
Step Five: Staying Smoke-free and Avoid Relapsing
• Feeling Like a Non-smoker
• "One Won't Hurt"
• Slipping as a Warning Signal
• Common Reasons for Relapse
• Avoiding Weight Gain
• Testing Yourself or Believing You Can Control Your Smoking
• Common Emotions After Quitting
• The Behavior Cycle
• Change the Way You Think and You Change Your Behavior
• Questions: Taking Care of Your Emotional Needs
• Stress
• Relieving Stress
• Becoming Stress Hardy, Activities to Prevention Stress Build-up
• Developing an ICE Plan (In case of emergency)
• What to Do if You Relapse and Go Back to Smoking0 -
VSJL8 - So what are you trying to say - that Filtrim is not going to work and I am wasting my time? What a way to discourage someone. There are so many successful methods out there and seem for work for different people. From what I am reading you are trying to say your way is the only one that will work. I am totally against using any nicotine replacement aids - that has not worked in the past and I know it. I am not interested in continuing to be dependent on nicotine in any form. I am familiar with all the stuff you are talking about. Not every method works for every body.
I came here for encouragement and support not be be criticized. Well, I am out of here and will look for other sources of support.
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Jo1955--I'm sorry that you read into my post the way you did because that is not what I said at all and I was not criticizing you,--all I said was "don't cover up the holes" and described how the tobacco companies fooled everyone because they put the holes where they knew they would be covered up. I never said it wouldn't work--but it won't work if you cover up the holes--that defeats the whole process.
--what I have said over and over again in this discussion is that EVERY METHOD WILL WORK FOR SOME PEOPLE, NO METHOD WILL WORK FOR EVERYONE. The hard part is figuring out what will work for you.
I don't have a "method" or '"way" to quit---I describe a "process"---it's more about how to prepare psychologically, and behaviorally--and a process to "test" out methods--to see if they will work for you while you're still smoking. I've had clients use every method possible--I only discourage those methods that are truely harmful (such as welplex injections which can cause psychotic breaks).
what I advocate is having many different tools and not relying on just one--no matter what it is. The average smokers smokes 20 a day--140 a week, 7,300 cigarettes a year--each one of those cigarettes can be tied to some different trigger, so what method works for one trigger, may be totally useless at some other time. It is usually not just one thing that helps a smoker become smoke-free, it's usually many different tools.
I'm not sure where you get the idea that I advocate nicotine replacement products---If you read my table of contents--there is a chapter on "quitting without med's". I'm FOR whatever works for an individual smoker. I'm sorry you think I'm not trying to help. I'm always interested in different products on the market but no product will work if a smoker doesnt' have the motivation to quit--the whole first section of my book--is how to build motivation and keep it strong.
Unfortunately, only 5% of smokers who try to quit each year are successful. I try and describe a process that will lead to the greatest possble chance of success. I am a former smoker and I know how hard it is to quit, I've quit 9 time for at least 3 months each time, once for a year. I have been helping smokers for over 20 years now. My clients are the ones that say to me "You're my last resort--I've tried everything to quit and nothing works". But I show them that finding what doesn't work (in your case NRT's) can be just as helpful as knowing what does work.
Please don't leave this thread because of me--please just ignore my posts but I am truly here, just to help. VJ
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Hi,
Jo1955' no one knows what will work for them, all we can do is keep trying. Until we find that magic thing for each of us. I used chantix. Would have worked but I wasn't,t committed in my attempts,if I BEING HONEST WITH MYSELF...After chemo I wanted to so be the old me, smoking was my only vise and I really didn't,t want to give it up. Then in fen I started on nicoderm patches,worked greAt and my husband tried it and quit. I sneak a cig when iforget to put on a patch. For me I have been cutting down slowly over the past month or so. I had gained 20 pounds and I was constipated not smoking. So for me I,m taking it slower. I,m biking 9 miles a day and walking 4 now. I know I have to replace smoking with exercise. so I say try anything, the patch worked for my husband, chantix for my sister..my brother in law is cutting back using exercise.
So try your devise and let us know how it works ...hopefully it will be successful for you and really that is the only thing that matters....I wish you the best of luck and we are always here. Plenty of support on this site by wonderful woman who know the ups and downs of smoking and chemo and cancer.0 -
Jo, please don't leave the thread, there are so many products that work, it is a matter of discovering your own. You have shown you are committed to quit and using the Fltrim, by how anxious you were to receive it, that shows how much you want to quit. This could definitely be your way out of this addiction. We are here to support you and your efforts. Karen
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Hi all:
It's been awhile but I just stopped in to say 'hi' and congratulations to those still on the wagon and to offer some encouragement to those who fell off or are thinking about getting on
I've been just so so busy lately I haven't had a chance to follow the threads very closely. I'm still on the wagon and going on 10 months...I cannot believe it!
Been exercising with a personal trainer (but hmmmm back is killing me) and yesterday my 'girls' got their nipples...a little sore today but managing..I think the soreness is from the local injections.
Well, gotta run...I'll be back soon.
Miss and love y'all
Jan
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Jo: Hope you'll come back. VJ is a great source of info and support and I'm sure she didn't mean to discourage you; in fact, her whole career is about encouraging us!
I quit with nicotine patches and Wellbutrin. Different strokes for different folks. I was told plenty about the evils of the patches, but I needed them to help me get off nicotine gradually.
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Well, it is day 2 with the Filtrim and it seems to be working already. I jumped in at Stage 2 from the start as I was already cutting down before I ordered it. It is a gradual cut down on cigs over an 8 week period. It seems for me anyway that I can work on one thing at a time and it doesn't seem so overwhelming. For example, it has been 6 days since I have smoked in my car. When I get in it, I don't have the smokes within reach - they are in the back seat in my purse. I used to get up in the middle of the night and sometimes be awake for hours and smoke - don't do that anymore. Don't grab for the smokes first thing in the morning. Just get up and go walk the dog. Instead of grabbing the smokes after a meal, I get up and do the dishes.
So far, it seems like this may turn out to be much easier than I thought. I talked to my sister last night and told her about it. Turns out she used the same product and quit in 6 weeks vs 8 weeks. She was a 2 pack a day smoker and has been smoke free for 6 months and counting. She said she had no withdrawals, and had no cravings. If she can do it, I know I can. Right now a pack is lasting me 2 days.
Small victories so far - have a ways to go.
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Jo, so glad it is working for you, and that it worked for your sister. That's another support person in your corner, and when it comes to quiting the more "tools" you have in your corner the better. Your faith in the Filtrim will be a bonus in helping you quit, you are doing so well already! Stay Strong, you can do this. Karen
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