Stop Smoking Support Thread
Comments
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It is happening right now ... holy hell ... I am a special person and I am better than this .. now if i can only get through the hard part .. my DD and DGD ... I would leave in a minute and go to vegas ,,, oh yeah and if I had the cash $$$$
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LisaMarie, from one experienced sister to another... As one that has been there done that, don't let that BF define you. While it may seem like there is no answer or way out, there is. Our emotions become so raw and blinding, we don't see it. Take trust and faith in those closest to you. They have answers that will work for you. All you need to do is implement them. I know it is scary, but you can do it. You most certainly deserve so much better.
On another note, today is 20 weeks since I quit cold turkey. So happy I finally did it and such a relief to be smoke free.
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jaj - 20 weeks is a great milestone. Hope you're celebrating. I could never have done it cold turkey so I really admire you.
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jaj that is so great cold turkey is the hardest I think .. wow keep it up.. I know it feels so good to be smoke free.. well another day for me .. hope everyone has a great week .. Love you all .. and thanks so much for all the needed support ..xoxoxox
Lisamarie
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Lisamarie: Did you post the sign on your bathroom mirror yet? I AM SPECIAL. Hugs
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Lisa, sorry because I know there is still love in your heart for this verbally abusive jerk, but walk away. You are worth so much more than he can ever imagine. Go live with your mom for a while if that's what feels good and safe to you. Your DD will get it if you explain - and if that's too hard, write her a letter. You can visit each other, maybe you'll move back in a year or two. Maybe she'll follow. You don't know, your can't guess, but you need to feel good about you!!!!!!!!!
Okay, mother of 5 here, left my idiot over 30 years ago. Yes it was hard, yes money was tight, yes I was scared but I did find someone who didn't rage at me, or throw me out of moving vehicles. I am going to celebrate my 20th anniversary in June, have 5 lovely kids+spouses, 11 Grandkids and 2 greats. I sincerely hope you find the same happiness I have. Don't be afraid to go looking for it.
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Red thank you so ,much , I did talk to my DD and she said she wont be mad and I need to do what makes me happy . so I guess she understands .. now it's all about money .. and the BF has been super nice since I told him I was leaving .. all day yesterday it was I love you so much and you are so beautiful .. and yaddi yaddi and it goes on ... I am doing well today .. Looking at the school bus company as they have free CDL training . I did take the test and failed it my first time ... well maybe next time will be the one .. My BF has a friend our age mid 40's and she is a smoker and she went into the hospital over a month ago with pneumonia and she had a lung biopsy a few days ago .. and she was put on life support . well last night she passed away .. I swear that life is way to short and to hear this stuff saddens me so much ... anyway I am going to try to have a good day ... lots of Hugs to all of you ...xoxoxoxo
Lisamarie
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((((lisamarie))) Sorry about your BF's friend. That sucks!jaja, congrats to you!
I am coming up on my ONE YEAR smoke-free-a-versary! April 20th will make one whole year without a cig. Woohoooo! If I can do it, ANYONE can..I mean that. I was a die hard smoker for more than 45 years of my life (`12 when I started..yikes!) and now, I am not smoking. It can be done. But, it took me a long time to make it stick like this so I know I am never out of the woods on that.
Ok, gotta run cause am at work. Hugs to all!
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Minus two I hope your fever is better and you are feeling better.
Lisamarie you sound like you are doing better and I hope your boyfriend wakes up with the thought of you leaving or you find a way to get to live with your Mom. Whatever is best for you.
I have a new pet peeve I am trying to get over, I remember when my best friend at work used to get mad at me when I had a smokers cough (which has now left thankfully) and now it drives me crazy to hear a person with a smokers cough or laugh when I can tell they are a smoker. I know it is so mean of me and judgemental! It is alos a reminder that I am thankful I quit!
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Oh April - almost a year. Congratulations are definitely in order.
Love - Yes I'm better. Thanks for asking. I never did develop any symptoms except fever. I finally kept the fever below 100 yesterday for 24 hours for the first time in 6 days w/aspirin & Bactrim. Nothing momentous on any of the cultures or blood tests so the cause is still a mystery. Now to re-start my regular vitamins and start to get back my energy.
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minus two...it really is a mystery....I hope it goes away completely soon!
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Hello ladies .... sorry about MIA but I was away on a much needed break. Went out to British Columbia and spent 2 weeks with family. Beautiful weather and came home to cold, cold, cold. I have been awfully tired after work so haven't checked the site and when I did, so much has happened. Congrats to those who are still not smoking, finishing rads, and smokeaniversary .... you are all awesome ladies. Lisamarie, I have read your posts and still trying to think of what to say to you. I agree with all of the wisdom these ladies have imparted on you, but in the end it is only you who will listen and take action. Don't make yourself a door mat for the bf .... remember, we all treat people how to treat us and that being said, he is an asshole to you. You are a remarkable, special lady but allow yourself to be beaten down. Who cares what your boobs look like .... I have one nipple inverted down and dh laughs and tell me to get the tweezers so he can pull it out. I too use to be self conscious about it but not anymore .... I'm alive so in all seriousness, WHO CARES! I think you need to talk to someone who is impartial and maybe shed some light for you. You know that all of these ladies truly care about you and a lot of us have had unhappy experiences in life. Now is the time for you to take control of YOU! Your family will always be there so maybe you just need a gentle shove to push you to freedom and a good life. I will think of more to say but I don't want to overstep boundaries. Remember, you are SPECIAL as dear MinusTwo has said. Going to bed but will say hi to all of you later! Chow!
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(((LisaMarie))) - so sorry to hear about your BF's friend passing away - very sad.
As the ladies have said here, whatever your decision will be - "you are SPECIAL" and deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. People don't seem to be kind to each other any more - guess I'm just getting old!
Congratulations to all of the ladies who are celebrating their smoke free anniversaries - way to go!
JudiH - glad to see that you are back - always nice to take a break - refuels the body and soul.
Beckers - how are you doing?
Not sure if I've missed anyone - but hope you are all doing well.
I went to see my PS today. Initially, we decided to remove the "dog ears" under my left arm, do a reduction, lift and some liposuction on my right (good) side - today we decided to put in an implant on my left side. I only have a 50% chance of the implant working as 19 months ago I finished up 29 rounds of radiation (including 4 boosts) on that side - surgery is scheduled for April 9th. I must admit that I am really scared - 50% in my opinion are not good odds of the implant being successful and at my age (60) I wonder if it's worth it. My PS says that 60 is not old and that I should be looking at the "glass half full rather than half empty"! Have any of you ladies had implants on radiated skin or heard of any success stories?
Again, congrats to everyone - just for today I will not smoke!
Hugs,
Carmen
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Carmen: I hope someone chimes in w/stories about implants & rads, or you can check the "exchange" thread. I just started 2 years of waiting to see how my upcoming rads changes will effect my R implant. We'll be keeping you in our thoughts.
Judi: Great to see you. So glad you got a trip to BC - the good one. It is important to back off & we understand. We just miss you.
I think many (maybe most) women are "trained" to love & give & serve, and to go along to get along, and to smooth things over & to make everyone happy. It takes a lot of work for a woman to put herself first and to require her OWN needs be a priority. Then it takes even more grit to stick to it when the man changes his tune (temporarily? I don't think most people really change). It's a gradual process - another of those one day at a time things. It's so much easier to be nice & believe it's right again. Of course I'm of the older generation that still believes in thank you notes & welcoming new neighbors. LisaMarie - we're all sending thoughts & hugs.
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"I'm alive so in all seriousness, WHO CARES!" ~ a wise woman
Judi, PERFECT~! Too the point and oh so freaking true. Pay attention those of you who are worried about less than perfect mammary glands (and yes, that is what they are) and realize that you are so very much more than your no longer perfect boobs. You are ALIVE ladies! What in the world could be more profound or important than that? Not much from where I sit. I did not have a mastectomy, but after two lumpies on my B cup boob, it sure looks like I had one. Ok, enough about that.
Judi, glad you had a nice trip that was well deserved.
Carmen, 60 is YOUNG! I will be 59 in 6 days and I feel as though life is just starting!
Minus2, hope you are feeling better and YES, I still write thank you notes too
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Good Morning Ladies, Today is a sunny day .. yeah .. going to the gym this morning then off to the outlets with my DD and DGD for some fun and to buy the little one sneakers... Congrats April... that is awesome ... well hopefully today is a sign of spring ... have a good day hugs to all my friends and support group .. love you all .. I mean that .... xoxoxoxo
Lisamarie
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Good afternoon ladies,
Nice day here too - still cool though - should go up to 6 Celsius (approx. 42 Fahrenheit). Lisamarie, glad to hear you're going to the gym and shopping - always fun (the shopping that is). How old is your DGD? Thanks MinusTwo and April for your words of encouragement. Much needed. I don't think I mentioned it, but I'm having reconstructive surgery (TE and then implant) post radiation therapy - I finished my rads 19 months ago (September, 2012) - that's why my odds for success are only 50%. Radiated skin doesn't stretch well and poses many more complications than non-radiated skin - I guess I'll just take my chances. Hope everyone has a great day.
Hugs,
Carmen
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Well - 42 degrees! It was 83 here yesterday. I'm holding off on the air conditioning for now but the house is not going below 74.
Carmen - please keep us in the loop with your reconstruction progress.
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Hello ladies .... Thursday night and one more day of work .... praise the Lord! My holiday was great and was well deserved after working many a day/night over 10-12 hours, and then weekends. I'm a government employee so not used to this. But I enjoyed seeing my family and not thinking of WORK!! MinusTwo, my sister winters in Brownsville, and she said the weather was going to 91 F yesterday ..... so jealous of you two ladies. The east cost ladies, Carmen and myself are being teased with the weather .... warm/cool but at least it is not snowing. LisaMarie, have a GREAT DAY with your family ..... well deserved. MinusTwo, thanks for the PM and hope all is well with you! April, both of us are creeping up to that age ... I won't be there until November and then one year before I can collect CCP .... looking forward to seeing what I would get and not worry about retirement. Ladies, I classify myself as in my "winter years" so I have to learn to live life and enjoy it to the fullest. I can't wait to kick back and enjoy .... one glass of wine at night doesn't cut it. At least I'm not SMOKING WITH THE GLASS OF WINE! That was when I really enjoyed a smoke - oh what the heck I enjoyed the smoke no matter what. Funny, my sister blurted out when we are on holidays that "she wished/wanted a smoke". She hasn't smoked in 32 years .... doesn't leave you. Anways, hope you all had a good Thursday!
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Judi - I love it, "winter years". So true about missing smoking - even after 32 years. I KNOW I can never have another cigarette or I'm sunk. So I'll just have to drink my wine by itself!!
Just for today, I will not smoke.
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Hi Ladies , My DGD is going to be 4 years old in August ...Carmen good luck with the recon , I will be praying for you ... I am going for my appt April 16th my DD birthday to discuss a date for nipple recon ... then I will tattoo areolas by tattoo artist ... all in good time ... Judi , I am glad you had a nice holiday with family .. yesterday was a great sunny fun day ... I also started germinating seeds for strawberries , and cucumbers yesterday .. I am very excited to start a garden .. the BF is not being bad but that is always a matter of time ya know .. I just don't know when to expect the next bomb .. Smoking always goes hand in hand with a drink .. lol .. I find that it goes well with coffee too but if I chew gum while I am having coffe or a drink it helps a bunch .. although it might sound gross ..I love being here with all of you .. xoxox
Lisamarie
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Lisamarie - good for you, starting seeds. That's the best part about spring. We've had strawberries on sale on our stores for a couple of weeks - 1lb pkg for $1.50. How did your shopping trip go?
Hmmm - cokes & smokes, coffee & smokes, wine & smokes - oops, I'm posting on the wrong thread?? Now that I've finished teasing myself... But gum & martinis? On the other hand, I chewed a lot of gum. I used to mainline sunflower seeds in the shells. Every tiny seed took two hand/arm/mouth motions - popping in the seed & then taking out the shell. Ziggy - if you're still lurking here, sorry to be talking about smokes so much!!! Maybe because I went to lunch w/my nephew & wife who live in HI and were visiting. We had (NewMexico) green chili flat enchiladas. YUM. And I had two (yup - 2) margaritas, for lunch no less.
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Good morning ladies .... just wanted ya all to know it is snowing where I live - north of Toronto, Ontario. I hope we are all enjoying spring in winter. Amazing. I have to tell you that I'm finding it hard to read comments about smokes .... thinking of my missed best friend! Hope you all have a great day .... off shopping as well ladies!
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Judi it is snowing and very windy south of Toronto too. Don't you just love spring?
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Thinking about you ladies in the snow. It actually dropped to 67 here today.
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O my. You must have been freezing. Lol. We got up to 1 or in Fahrenheit 34 ish
Today was an awful trying to cut down to quitting day. I sucked big time. OK tomorrow I'll do better.
Don't quit quitting!
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Red - I feel guilty even posting the temperature. However I'll let you know in August when it 100 degrees and 100% humidity.
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Me you too GF. Cuz it gets just as hot here as it does cold. Wicked temp swings.
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MinusTwo - you're killing me! - only 67 Fahrenheit. It got up to 2 here with snow flurries!
RedReading - I'm with you - will spring ever come? Don't worry, you'll get to quitting day and you'll be so glad you did - it's not easy, but you can do it.
JudiH, Lisamarie - hi - hope you're having a good weekend so far.
As for me, I'm still so nervous about this recon - 4 days before surgery and I don't know if I'm doing the right thing - maybe a cigarette will help with the decision (NOT!).
Take care ladies.
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Carmen: Wishing you the best with recon. Nope - a smoke won't be a valid crutch if you've already quit.
I'm reading the most delicious book by Louise Penny set at a monastery in remote Quebec. She's quite amazing. Makes me really want to visit Montreal. So far I've only been to Victoria, Vancouver, Banff & Lake Louise in 1960 and then across from Detroit to Windsor in the 70's. I'd love to take the train completely across Canada. But based on all the Canada girls comments - I may wait until it's a bit warmer. LOL
Judi - I'm w/you on too many memories. If I remember, that's why Ziggy said she couldn't come here regularly. Hard to believe your sister - 32 years!!
Beckers - thinking of you our there in Southern CA. Hope you're dodging the earthquakes.
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