Stop Smoking Support Thread
Comments
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Oh April - sounds something like my Dad. My Mother died when he was 93 & he just kept saying - I'm ready to go. He lasted to 96 and we were able to have some lovely times together, but he never stopped missing my Mom. I had to be the strong one for everyone so I didn't really take time to grieve. I lost my Mother, my best girl friend & my Dad all in within 3 years. I'm so sorry about your Dad but glad you're able to spend this time w/him.
LisaMarie - Woke up thinking about you & sending strength to continue your good work.
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April, sorry to hear about your dad. Wow, it seems like all the older people are moving on. My dad passed away in February and like the others, lived a long time. I think when they get to a certain age, they just want to go. They have lived through so much and just want to rest. It is us who don't want them to leave us. Ladies, just came back from mamma .... don't matter how many I've been through, it still hurts even when you take a Tylenol. Bosum and LisaMarie, I can feel your pain but listen to April ... words of wisdom here. We all have problems in our life but it sounds like you two are ready to take the bull by the horns and move on. Good for both of you for thinking ahead and what is good for you in this life.
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Judi - so did they give you the mammo results? I sure hope you don't have to wait through the weekend to find out.
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Hi MinusTwo! No results for me today. At Sunnybrook Hospital they have an amazing cancer centre - just opened up a new one and you get your results in 24 hours. Both scary and/or relived. But it is Thanksgiving weekend here in Ontario so the doctor will read the results (maybe????) and if I had to go back then I would hear from them on Tuesday (Monday is Thanksgiving Day). So, yes I have to wait all weekend. Dh is going to Florida golfing so it will give me time to clean the house. Friends are away and I didn't want to go golfing tomorrow .... weather here is cold or cool and I'm just not into it. So, just going to relax. What are your plans for the weekend???
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BTW MinusTwo, what is Echo and Pet?????? All of this terminology can be mind boggling. Rebecca, hope today is a bit better for you .... thinking of you at this time!
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Clean house Judi? I think I would use the weekend to stay in my PJ's and read and do absolutely nothing.
Echo is Echocardiogram. Sort of like an ultrasound of the heart. Both the Adriamycin and the Herceptin can damage your heart so my MO has ordered tests every three months all along the way. My numbers have gone down throughout the chemo but apparently not past the critical stage - which is something like 50. Other women on these boards have MUGA scans for the same purpose.
PET/CT is sort of a nuclear Cat scan. First you have to fast 5 hours. Then they put nuclear "juice" in your veins (or in my case in the port) and you have to lie absolutely still in a darkened room for 45 minutes before they start the scan. The scan shows hot spots on the films (monitor) when there is any activity. That's the reason to fast since sugar shows activity. Also the reason to lie still since movement makes the muscles &/or nerves (?) give off "sparks". Anyway, the point is any cancer that is growing shows up as hot spots. So I'm looking for NO HOT SPOTS.
Beckers - hoping you got through the day OK. Please check in when you can.
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Judi - revised to say maybe I'd eat a bag of doughnuts too. That's something I rarely buy but every once in awhile I want some. If you haven't bought donuts lately, buying a dozen is about the same price as buying four.
And sooooo sorry you have to wait for the results!!!
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hi there. I want to thank all of you for your encouraging words. I did blow it and smoke one but I do need to stay smoke free for my Mom. She was so proud that I quit as she never thought I would. This is such a hard time. I bought an e-cig to help if I get the urge again. Heavy sigh...
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Beckers, one smoke will not blow it for the duration. Just keep on truckin with the ecig at the ready for those times you need to do something with your hands. Move on from the one cig and no harm, no foul. Hugs...I know what you are going through, believe me!
Judi, hoping you get good news!
You too Minus Two.
Gotta run...heading out to the hospital to see Dad...am on vacation all next week in anticipation of my new grandchild who is due very soon! That is the very good thing in my life right now!
Take care all...will be back soon! xo
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Wow, MinusTwo! I never new this information. Interesting read on the PET/CT. Excuse my ignorance but wouldn't it be grand if they did that test on all. I'm sure it is really expensive. See my way of avoiding all of the other tests. But I truly do hope that this goes extremely, extremely well for you ..... fingers crossed that they find zip. Donuts, eh? I haven't had a donut since I was a kid. Kinda on my not eat list as I am always conscious of my weight. My mom was so overweight that I have never gotten over that. So, I try to watch it .... doesn't always work. Few french fries for me yesterday but I hadn't eat much (yogurt/few nuts) so I went all out. As well, I have to clean .... I got no excuse .... this is dh's third trip this month and I had my pj's on for the first 2. So, I will do some but really going outside to do some fall cleanup.
April, enjoy your vacation and your new grandchild. Make sure you post a pic so we can all see and squeeze the baby. Hope you dad is doing well.
LisaMarie and Bosum, good morning. I hope you are both hanging tough.
Beckers, hope the sun is shining a bit more for you today. I know your heart is heavy but your mom loves you!
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Beckers - so glad you checked in. April is right, a one smoke lapse won't collapse you and your Mom was right to be proud. I like Bosum's idea of staying smoke free as a tribute. Hang in there girl. We're here if you need to talk.
April - How fun - a new grandbaby on the way. I can't remember when LisaMarie's daughter is due but maybe you'll be 'grandma' twins. Have a great vacation.
Judi - Most don't have the PET/CT because of the large amount of radiation in addition to the cost. Probably not given unless there is concern about mets. I just pushed the issue to get this one since I had a recurrence less than two years after a clear margin BMX.
Bosum - thinking about you. I remember when I tried to get car insurance in my own name after divorce and was told I was a non-person after 7 years of coverage. It's impossible not to feel swamped. Makes you want to burn bras, right? Do you have family in the area? Or I guess a better question is do you have family that are "friends" in the area?
LisaMarie - How are you doing? We're not trying to push, just rooting on the sidelines. Are your group meetings only on Mondays? See above note to April - when is your new grandbaby due? I think you have two daughters who live on the Eastern seaboard, yes?
Alas I have no grandchildren and my one son lives 1/2 a continent away. Sigh!! The rest of my family is gone except for a brother in Phoenix w/whom I have nothing in common. It was always interesting trying to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up. It's harder after BC. Maybe we should agree to all meet in Las Vegas in a year & LisaMarie's Mother can use her influence to get us show tickets.
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P.S. Sorry for the long ramble. I'm doing what I advised Judi - staying in my PJs and reading. Don't laugh, but I'm reading Twilight. Yes, the teen vampire book that I got at the used bookstore for $0.25. Actually it's not bad.
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Minus Two.... Ha Ha .. I have read all the twilight books they are pretty good .. I am into all that stuff.. Yes I have 2 daughters . One lives here in NY she has my beautiful granddaughter Brianna and she is the preg one and baby is due Nov 20 ... sooo exciting what a great shower. Its been cold and dreary here as well. I am still hanging tough not smoking .. My meetings are all week long... just no weekends .. but there are others on the weekend in different areas ...
April ... grandchildren are very exciting ... I hope you do have fun on vacation and please post photos ...
Oh Minus .. lol my other Daughter lives in NC...
Beckers .. sending you some nice hugs
Bosom... xoxooxxo
Judi... xoxoxoxoxo
Ok here is a photo from baby shower ... xoxoxoxo hugs to you all
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xoxoxoxoxoxLisamarie
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one more this is my daughter and I ...not a great photo ...lol xoxoxoLisamarie ..
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LisaMarie - gorgeous daughter. And the DGD is adorable. My niece is PG so there's a shower in my future too. Did you play all the silly games? Or is that only for the first one baby?
Judi - Happy Thanksgiving. Do you have turkey in Canada? Or how do you celebrate?
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Hi ladies. LisaMarie, you, your daughter and your granddaughter are all beautiful. Shower looks like fun. MinusTwo, thanks for the wishes for thanksgiving. Before, we would celebrate with turkey and the whole nice yards. Now, I don't do anything special. My sister is in Kingston and is leaving for Cuba for 2 weeks. Once home, her and hubby are then driving to Brownsville, Texas for the winter. I don't really seem my other brother; his wife is a nurse so is on shift work. My older sister and brother are deceased, so it just my sister, brother and I. Dh is in Florida golfing so I'm alone. This is o.k. has I had gardening to do. Got most of it done and will do some tomorrow as well. As I get older, holidays that I celebrated as a kid aren't as important to me. But I do love Christmas. In fact, I bought some gifts today .... changing my gift style this year .... wine/cheese/cheese board/book. Bosum, I know what you mean about not telling everyone about bc. You have been dealing with a lot of shit and are not just ready to break out. I'm glad you are here and are able to share your feelings/emotions .... we all understand. Some of us may have gone through what you have been dealing with so it's good to know that we are there for you.
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Judi, Happy Thanksgiving to you , enjoy your free time .. I love my alone time . I love the gardening as you know. My family are also here and there as you know .. Mom and brother in Vegas and 2 kids and a granddaughter in NC... and Ilove Christmas time as well. I cant even think about it right now ...
Minus .. we did not play any games .. but it was great lots of good food... and laughs .. we did manage to make her a great hat with all the bows .. So I am posting the photo maybe it will make you smile a bit ..
Bosom, I am sorry .. I have not been hiding from anyone .. everyone knows .. but noone really cares .. just a few ... anyway we are all here for you always .. so big Hugs to you ... xoxoxo
April .. just saying HI ..xoxoxoxo
Beckers .. still praying for you hoping everything is ok ... Hugs
xoxoxo
LisaMarie
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Beautiful pic, LisaMarie. It made me smile. LisaMarie, we know you are not hiding but trying to get your life together. You are so right about alone time, I love it. I did gardening for two days, had breakfast with my friend this more, then cleaned 2 bathrooms, did laundry, cleaned out a closet (truthfully, looking for a mouldy smell and found out it is a blanket that belonged to my grandfather; time to donate it), and now going to make the bed. Whew, busy time but not enough time. Wish I was home the whole week but in all honesty, I would want another week to clean for Christmas. BTW, thanks for the thanksgiving wishes. It is a time to reflect and be blessed with what I have, that being my health. AND REMEMBER GIRLFRIEND, everybody cares. It is important to remember only those that you want to care, the rest in all reality do you care about. Have a great night!
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Bosum - I didn't tell anyone about my BC either - not the first time & not the second. Everyone thought my wig was really me with a good haircut and said I looked 10 years younger. (sigh - how do we know what lies to believe?). Now that I'm finishing up with 18 months of treatment, I'm not quite as defensive & prickly with everyone.
Yup - I can join you in some "ex" words. I'm just further along the road since my ex has now been married to his current wife for 20 years. Wow. Somewhere along the way it got to be too much for me to continue the bad vibes, but every once in awhile I do think about the company I helped him build that he sold for mega bucks - of course after he was married to the new one. Hey, I thought California was going to have an exorbitant $13.00 miminum wage? Or did I mistake where you are? Not trying to 'dig' since I'm very private about my life too. Gee - wouldn't that extra $5/hour break the bank.
LisaMarie - love the pictures. Thanks for sharing. Keep it going.
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Thanks everyone ... I hear ya Bosom . I am also applying for all jobs and min wage here is like 7 something an hour ..I was just making 30.. an hour ... seriously ... but we must do what we gotta do .. I see the stores hiring for holidays too . I am applying everywhere ... best of luck ... its crazy as I think of it because a studio apt here goes for 1100 a month , how does one manage that on min wage .. reality check u can't ... so you need 2 or 3 jobs just to live ... its a crazy thought .. anyway . I am getting ready to make some ravioli for dinner .. xoxoxoxox Hugs to you all
Lisamarie
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Bosum - not dumb. You just hadn't been there before & assumed others would be fair. That's a really depressing state of affairs, but not your fault. Good luck w/Medicaid. Are you kids grown? Or do you still have some at home?
Love the new T-shirt design I saw: I don't know if the glass if half full or half empty, but I need more wine in either case.
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Oh girls, I can so relate both on the man side and the job side. Before my dh, I was so totally in love with a guy that I was so blind. Blind to the point that I gave him money time after time, which left me debt ridden. Thankfully for my parents leaving me some money, I was able to get ahead. But, I think the biggest problem all of us ladies on this board have is that we are givers and not takers. So, we get taken time and time again. When I met my dh, I decided no more and didn't give an inch. Unfortunately, that has eroded over time because my nurturing/caring side comes out. Well ladies, I think I have you all beat, albeit it is recent. So, I'm retiring from my job as a public health inspector which I've been doing since 1986. But, I have been in government since 1976 which I first started out as a secretary at $100 a week. And, I lived on my own paying everything by myself - not a glamorous life but I etched a life. Anyways, I digress. So, I'm retiring at the end of January, 2015, and thought I would like a part-time job. My idea job came up in February of this year - working one day a week from 3-6 p.m., and all day Sunday. Who wants to work Sunday - not many but I decided this job was right up my alley. It's on a farm with a small retail store selling bottled milk/eggs. Guess what, I didn't even get a call or an email back. It was like I didn't exist. Really, I'm a professional and couldn't get a job selling eggs. I tell everyone this story and we all laugh but I really wanted the job. I also say maybe I didn't get it because the eggs are ungraded but in all honesty I didn't change my resume. I read an article that older people or retired people need to downgrade their resume to suit the environment and not talk about all of our accolades, not that I have many. Anyways ladies, there is a job out there for you. We just have to decided what we want and go for it.
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Judi - congrats on your upcoming retirement. I love the idea of selling eggs - low key, back to nature, etc. So sorry they dissed you. Is your DH going to retire too? I found the perfect retirement job working May - September 3-5 days a week and then mostly off the rest of the year. And it was 2 miles from my house. Only problem was the job was term limited, and I hit that wall just before my 2nd BC diagnosis. So now I'll be looking all over again. I always joked about being a greeter at WalMart, but they've done away w/those positions at the stores by me.
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Oh MinusTwo, we will find that perfect job. Dh retired at the end of June and is loving every minute. He is not worried at all. It's me cause I've got to learn to stop spending. Hence, he will be in charge of the money. He is in Florida right now and he loves it .... wants to buy a place. I truly think that we are all dealt the cards we have been dealt for a reason. I don't know what my future holds but without my health, a job, money, means nothing. Yes, MinusTwo you job sounded ideal but you never know, it could come back!
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Mixed results day. Saw my OB/Gyn and the Dexa scan shows my hip bone has lost significant bone mass in the last 2 years. Maybe due to chemo but surely effected by the lack of exercise for 18 months - particularly weight bearing exercise. She wants me to discuss with MO whether to go on Actonel which can slow bone loss & increase bone mass. DAMN - that's the main reasons I quit smoking because smoking is known to be detrimental to bones & I didn't like the SEs of Actonel type drugs. I still don't want to get old & be stuck in a nursing home w/a broken hip. OK - I'm over-reacting, but still...
On the other hand, met w/pulmonologist and she doesn't need to do any more lung tests for a year. She thinks my shortness of breath was aggravated by chemo drugs so we'll re-evaluate once the lingering effects have left my system - particularly since two of the drugs can cause heart damage. Have any of you taken that PFT test in the glass "room"? Weird.
Of course all this means I have to get moving again. Back to the gym or pounding the pavements. And I guess I can't start smoking again. Sigh - sort of joke but not really funny. Just for today I will not smoke.
Beckers - thinking of you and hoping the sharpest strike of your loss is mellowing some. Surely hope you have family around to hold you close.
LisaMarie & Bosum - hugs to both of you.
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Just a quick drive by post to say hi...am on baby watch and visiting dad a lot so not much time to post.
Love to all! xoxo
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April - thanks for checking in. Hope your time w/Dad and DD is fun.
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Beckers: You're in my thoughts. Hope you're finding some comfort as each day passes.
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OK LisaMarie & Bosum - time to check in!!! Will it help if i say"'Simon says"? Thinking of you both.
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