Stop Smoking Support Thread
Comments
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April: My Dad was sure he would pass on every day for months after my Mother died. Said he wasn't needed anymore & wanted to be with Mom. He refused to move from CA so I went out there for at least a week every month. I had a wonderful boss who let me work by remote. While Dad was certainly ready & waiting to go, the two of us did have a great 3 years doing things like going back to the mining town where he was born & taking a cruise around the Hawaiian islands. We got to know each other like we never did when my Mom was alive.
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I wish I could do things like that with my Dad. He has pretty severe dementia and he is almost blind from his diabetes. He is in a nursing home now for rehab after a hospital stay to get his legs moving so he can come home. He will be there through the month of November they said. He just turned 89 two days ago. I am a daddy's girl and it makes me sad to hear him say "Why can't I just die and be with your mother" which is what he says constantly!
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Oh April I'm so sorry for your Dad's health issues. And I do know how hard it is on you that he wishes to be with your Mother. Hugs.
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Hi ladies .... just got home from a dinner out. No halloween for me as I gave that up a few years ago. It's like smoking ... no more. Anyways, Beckers glad things are coming along. It is so hard to lose a family member but all the great memories will come back. Everyday I get in my vehicle, and I say "o.k. mom, dad, Lynn, Brian let's go". Just for shits and giggles, I tell me other two siblings to get in as well. It's my mantra because now I'm driving in the dark morning and evening, and the deer are out. I hate this as I don't want to get into an accident with a deer. April and MinusTwo .... it's great that you have a parent still around or the time you get to spend with that parent. It is never enough time for us. LisaMarie ... good going. I agree with MinusTwo ... standing ovation. Bosum, where are you????
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BTW MinusTwo, I'm solo sorry about your friend and her loss. What a tough time for her. But, he is out of his pain and you are there for her. What a lucky woman to have such a great friend!
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Hi Ladies! It's early and some of you may not be up yet but I just got the best news I've been waiting for. My mammogram results came back and NO CANCER! Best news of the day!
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Congrats Judi... great news ..
Minus , I am so sorry about your friends loss.. it seems like you will be a great comfort to her .
April ... sorry about your dad .. That is hard to deal with . xoxoxo
Bosom where are you ....
I m still doing good ... Have not been to thyroid doctor yet so no results .. my appt is Nov 6th ...
My other doc did up my lexapro to 10mg a day ...I told him I was good on the 5 .. oh well he said I should do better on the 10 ..
we shall see..
I am going to attempt my first apple pie today ...
xoxoxox
Hope everyone has a great weekend sorry if I missed anyone
Lisamarie
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Hi LisaMarie! Thanks for the wishes .... flipping good I'd say. It's news we all want to hear and I hope all of us hear it. Hope your results on the 6th are good as well. Good luck on your pie .... let us know and show a pic. Are you pie the crust from scratch? I only made apple pie once but I used store bought shell .... can't do the crust from scratch but my apple pie recipe is great. Happy to share it with you if you want it!
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Hey Bosum .... never despair or beat yourself up. Give yourself a lot of credit for trying .... this is one of the hardest things to do. As most of us have done, we've quit, gone back, quit, gone back .... you know the drill. It is one big yo-yo that you will get off. I don't know if you remembered my posts from this week or so but I honestly saw a butt on the ground, and thought I should pick that up. Like really, no self-respecting woman would do that but I did think it. So, we are all in the same boat but some of us are ahead of others ... you will be writing the same words to another person that is where you are. Keep going ... we are here for you!
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Judi - HOORAY, what a great mammo result. Congrats. Another milestone passed or another chapter completed.
LisaMarie - Interesting that he increased the lexapro. Hope the 10mg dose doesn't make you sleepy. I only make crumble crust pies or cobblers. My Mom was the queen of pie crust & and I could never get it right. Let us know how yours turns out.
Bosum - Judi is absolutely right. Don't beat yourself up & don't 'guilt' yourself into a corner. Just try again down the road if it doesn't take. It really is the absolutely hardest thing I ever did. I was raised to just "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" and "get on with it". It seemed like I would never get past this. Spent many nights crying & pacing & wanting to throw my coffee cup in the fireplace. Sounds funny now since I didn't drink coffee and didn't have a fireplace - but you know what I mean. And now it's been 7 years and 3 months and 20 days. Maybe a little bit obsessive? I hadn't thought about how long it's been in awhile and had a random urge to actually count the days. Not going there!! But when I think about it, I deserve a star for each and every one of those damn days.
Do I remember correctly that you were taking Wellbutrin? Can you get something else to help with the depression and the fear? I could NOT have done it on my own. Hugs to you girl!!
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Oh I forgot - Beckers we're looking forward to a grandbaby picture when you get a chance. Hope you're doing OK.
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Maybe we should start "The Butt Club". Who would know that we're not talking about guys? LOL Well of course I meant fine behinds, but could just as well mean "butt heads".
Edited - Hope I didn't offend anyone. Weird Saturday. No, I haven't been drinking - yet.
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Bosum, you are so right .... Day 1 is a bitch and so will be Day 2 and so on. But like MinusTwo you will be having to think how long it has been .... I'm not there yet as I relate it all to this crazy roller coaster we are all on. MinusTwo ... I love the name change ... makes sense to me and much more desirable to come to!
Ladies, I was trying to add an insert and it says the file is invalid. The insert is so true to life and I think it would help both Beckers and MinusTwo. I'm going to keep trying!
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YAY Judi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Congrats on a clean mammo. That is always a stressful time.
Thanks Minus..it is hard but he is still with me and I am blessed. Seeing my new grandbaby makes me miss my Mom sooooo much. She would have been absolutely thrilled to be a great grandma!
Lisamarie, YAY for staying quit...one day at a time girl.
Beckers, thinking of you sweetie. Enjoy YOUR new blessing and send us a photo!
Bosum, it does not matter how many times you have to try. It just matters that you DO keep trying. It does eventually finally stick one day. I promise! Keep on keepin on. Honestly, I felt just like you do. I thought it would never happen for me. It did. But, I still struggle every day with the occasional urge. I hate the way it smells on people when they come in from outside, but that does not change the fact that I still have the occasional urge to light up. 19 months for me on the 20th of this month. It WILL happen!
At work so have to run xoxo
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Bosom, I sit here like wow .. I just did that yesterday . i saw a big butt in the driveway and was oh wow I could smoke that .. but then I just kept going on passed it up.. I am not sure how it works but when you get to certain points it gets easier ... But remember im still taking chantix ...I told you this once before .. try not to beat yourself up.. every minute you do not smoke is sucess .. so if it is 6 hours or 1 .. be proud ... I do not know if I could ever go cold turkey ... especially with my BF as a smoker .. smelling it all the time ..
I will let everyone know how the endocrine doc goes ..I started the ten mg of lexapro , I dont know if I feel any different .. lol
MY depression is coming from no work .. seriously im getting sad that I cant get work . The other day I was like I will just humble myself and work any job . I spoke to a job and they said they would not hire me because I was over qualified .. so there goes for trying to humble myself .. really .. and unemployment denied my case .. so now i am waiting to take it to court ... Life huh
On the other hand I made my apple pie .. yes ladies ... I did the pillsbury pie crust ..lol have not attempted my own cruust yet ..lol it was good .. I would love to try your recipe Judy ..
Well shower then my meeting .. have a great day my loving friends ...xoxoxoxoxo
Lisamarie
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Hi ladies ... LisaMarie, I feel your pain re the job hunt. Don't feel bad ... I couldn't get a job for selling eggs in a store. How's that for being over qualified. But I read on MSN that you need to downgrade your qualifications so that people don't think they have to pay you so much .... I'm going to try it. Check it out on MSN. Yes, I will send you the recipe ... it's as easy as pie. I'm tired tonight and have to go play Nurse Rachett for my dh ... o.k. ladies, hold on! I'm just putting cream on his feet and cover them with bandaids - he has warts. Ha, ha. You all thought I was going to be dirty. Gotcha ya!
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Judi - and wouldn't that have been fun. But warts? Oh well, you are a good wifey for taking care of him.
LisaMarie - I recently read an article about more 'mature' women getting jobs but can't remember where it was. I'll wrack my brain for the source since it was interesting. I do agree w/Judi - maybe delete your earlier job history so age isn't obvious on the resume & minimize anything you think that will over qualify you. Hang in there. After being out of work for a year and almost giving up, I found the best job I ever had at age 57. Boss was only 40 something and great to work for. When that company closed their Texas operations, I found a really interesting half time job at age 64.
There are some great tips if you google "older workers". I like these 12 benefits. You can play up your strengths to potential employers with these benefits. Hope it's not too long but I thought it was valuable.
Below are twelve reasons why hiring older workers can help you
maintain a reliable, dedicated workforce and provide a significant cost
savings for both the short and long term.1. Dedicated
workers produce higher quality work, which can result in a significant
cost savings for you. Stories abound of highly committed older workers
finding others' potentially costly mistakes regarding everything from
misspelling of client names to pricing errors and accounting mistakes.2. Punctuality
seems to be a given for older workers. Most of them look forward to
going to work each day, so they're likely to arrive on time and be ready
to work.3. Honesty is common among older workers, whose values as a group include personal integrity and a devotion to the truth.
4. Detail-oriented, focused and attentive
workers add an intangible value that rubs off on all employees and can
save your business thousands of dollars. One business owner I know once
told me that one of his older workers saved his company more than
$50,000 on one large mailing job. The 75-year-old clerical worker
recognized that all the ZIP codes were off by one digit. Neither the
owner's mailing house nor his degreed and highly paid marketing manager
had noticed it.5. Good listeners make great employees because they're easier to train--older employees only have to be told once what to do.
6. Pride in a job well done
has become an increasingly rare commodity among younger employees.
Younger workers want to put in their time at work and leave, while older
employees are more willingly to stay later to get a job done because of
their sense of pride in the final product.7. Organizational skills
among older workers mean employers who hire them are less likely to be a
part of this startling statistic: More than a million man hours are
lost each year simply due to workplace disorganization.8. Efficiency and the confidence
to share their recommendations and ideas make older workers ideal
employees. Their years of experience in the workplace give them a
superior understanding of how jobs can be done more efficiently, which
saves companies money. Their confidence, built up through the years,
means they won't hesitate to share their ideas with management.9. Maturity comes from years of life and work experience and makes for workers who get less "rattled" when problems occur.
10. Setting an example
for other employees is an intangible value many business owners
appreciate. Older workers make excellent mentors and role models, which
makes training other employees less difficult.11. Communication skills--knowing
when and how to communicate--evolve through years of experience. Older
workers understand workplace politics and know how to diplomatically
convey their ideas to the boss.12. Reduced labor costs are
a huge benefit when hiring older workers. Most already have insurance
plans from prior employers or have an additional source of income and
are willing to take a little less to get the job they want. They
understand that working for a company can be about much more than just
collecting a paycheck.Edited to add link from "Entrepreneur"
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Well Minus, those are absolutely spot on for hiring an older worker!
Just an FYI Minus, you need to do an attribution for the above 12 reasons you posted for the author and website because if they google their stuff and this comes up, they could sue you! Not kidding!! I once did something like the above on a job search website that careerbuilder used to sponsor (Brightfuse) and I was one of their moderators! I received a scathing email from the author about suing me cause she googles her stuff and finds who posts it. I had given her the credit (thank goodness) and linked it back to her blog, but she STILL said it was her copyrighted stuff and that I was in violation of her terms (which was her small print and she wanted money to use her stuff) so I took it down. Too bad...the dumb beyotch was getting tons of exposure (with an attribution) on a website that could have driven tons of people to her blog, but her loss as they say.
Lisamarie, please please contact your local One Stop in your American Job Center. They have LOTS of free help as I told you before. I work with people like you every single day and it is not hopeless. We help them get back to work with lots of different resources. It is all free and you definitely qualify. Google WIA services in your local area. Workforce Investment Act funds are federal money earmarked for people just like you. Hugs and best of luck.
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April , thanks you . I have been going to the unemployment office . I signed up for a resume writing class and they tell me when the companies are there so I can intervview. and they gave me an appointment to see about funds to get back to school.
Thanks minus .. that is the truth ... I know it takes time and work to find work... lol .. love ya
Judi ... yes yes you are a great wife .. and friend .. cannot wwait to see the apple pie recipe ... xoxoxox
Yes another day smoke free
Just for today I will not smoke ..xoxoxo
Lisamarie
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April - thanks for the advice about sources. I edited my original post to add the link to the original article.
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lisamarie, glad to see you're taking advantage of this stuff!
Minus, glad you edited that! Would hate to see you get snagged for such an innocent thing you did to help someone!
xo - gotta run, am at work
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Pouring rain earlier this afternoon. Temps went from 73 to 64 degrees in an hour. I've used the day to make doc appointments, pay bills, etc. Peaceful and sort of productive. Well at least I missed a nap so I guess I can say productive.
My second BFF & I have been talking at least an hour a day. They had to pull the plug on her husband on the 27th, so this Monday was just a week since he died. They'd been together since my BFF was 16. It will be a long hard road. She did manage to go to the mortuary by herself this afternoon to pick up his ashes. We each hoisted a glass of wine over the phone in our respective kitchens to his memory. Sorry if I'm repeating myself, but they live 60 miles to the North now. I've made a couple of treks but mostly she's calling when she needs support. It's good to have a friendship that has been in existence since 1973.
To make it relevant - she never smoked but never bitched at me. I've now her long enough that people actually had ladies over for bridge games & everyone smoked in everyone's houses. Long after those days she never complained when I would smoke after meals in a restaurant. After the laws changed and you could only smoke outside, she always found us a bench so I could smoke. Needless to say she was thrilled when I finally quit.
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Hi everyone! Sorry about no response but busy at boot camp and plain tired on the other days. MinusTwo, your friend sounds like a gem .... she is a keeper. I have friends like that but some days piss me off ... is it the meds????? Anyways, hope all are doing well. LisaMarie .... how are things going???? Bosum ... what's happening. April ... sure hope you have been able to squeeze in some grandchild time! MinusTwo ... sure hope you are staying out of trouble!
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Trouble? Me? Oh oh, I've been caught!!! I managed to lose $.48 at dominoes today. We play for a penny a point so it's fun & doesn't break the bank. We did gather a couple of the husbands & we all went out for pizza after the guys got home from work. Several of the ladies don't drink so we don't usually imbibe, but I had a nice glass of wine after I got home.
Judi - I find that I have much less patience than I used to have. I thought it was the cancer but my son reminded me it could be my age. Or both.
Beckers - we'd love to see a picture of your new grandbaby. Hope you are doing OK. LisaMarie - you're getting really close!! Will you be able to go when the baby is born?
Shout out hey for everyone else. It's COLD here - 50 degrees tonight. I know, I know - you all think I'm a wimp - and as far as cold goes, it's true. But I'm not smoking...
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Beckers, the baby will be born here where I am so .. I am so excited I will see him often. My DD called yesterday and said that she is 2 centimeters dialated ... soooo soon...I will have a baby...Hope you are enjoying the grandbaby ...
Minus ... I am so sorry about all the loss you are going through at this time .. So many past away this last 2 years its been crazy...
Judy ... I know some days everyone pisses me off too... lol I am still waiting on the labs for thyroid to come back and am scheduled a sonogram in 2 weeks ... fun times..
I am still doing good no smokes for me .. I started a job.. cleaning houses .. it does not pay much but it is work .. and I am grateful... just miss my afternoon meetings .... but one must sacrifice .. lol ... feeling grateful ... my body is not sure about the new job yet .. I feel like I was ran over by a mac truck... Im sure I will get used to it soon...
Big Hugs to everyone ...
Hey Bosom ... Where are you ... I miss you ... I hope you are okay ..
xoxoxoxoxox
Lisamarie
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MinusTwo .... you make me laugh! LisaMarie .... how wonderful you are still going strong. By jove, I think you have this done pat. Good for you about the job but not the mack truck feeling. But it's a start so keep at it. I'll be in your boat in 11 weeks so be ready to listen to me moan. Beckers .... hope all is well. I tried to share a wonderful message on this site but unable to do it. Once I figure it out then you'll see it.
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Bosum - so glad to know you're OK. We think of you often even if you need to take a break once in while
Lisa - Congrats on the move forward. Are you working every day? Hope the physical adjustment to the job doesn't take too long. Sorry you'll miss your meetings. Once you get more energy, are there ever meetings at night? Waiting along w/you to hear the test results.
Small whine - PT hurts. Yes, I know (or I hope) that it will be better in the long run but the arm stretching for the axilla & chest radiation fibrosis definitely makes me aware of how badly out of shape I am. Wonder if I can make myself go back to the gym?
Woke up Saturday night with my fingers in the cigarette holding position. Not sure what I was dreaming but clearly I was saved by waking up before lighting that sucker. Just for Today I Will Not Smoke.
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Bosum, glad you are still with us .... hope all is well! MinusTwo ... a little hurt is hard but it will be better in the long run. I remember after my operation I had to start exercises 7 days afterwards .... I felt like I was 2 yrs of age .... couldn't do it but I kept going. Now, I can't even remember what it felt like. Like my mom said, "are you having a baby because that is pain". Never had a kid so I don't know that kind of pain but I always try to relate it to that. Hmmmm, fingers in the cigarette position .... that heard that but you must have been dreaming of that little sucker. Funny where are thoughts turn to sometimes. Hope it was worth it!
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I think I should get extra credit for not smoking in my dreams - LOL
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Oh MinusTwo .... you can try but I don't know if you will get the extra credits. I probably would have smoked the damm cigarette! O.K. LisaMarie, here is the recipe as best as I can read my writing from eons ago. Use 5-6 apples, core and slice thinly, a sprinkle of nutmeg, little flour, 1/2 cup sugar, stir together and a dot of butter. Wet the pie shell and pinch down. Cook at 350 F. Now this recipe is from a woman who was in her late 70's, early 80's so that's all I got. I also had written down before the 5-6 apples, 2 & 1/4 apples, core and slice but then I think she changed it to 5-6 because she uses McIntosh applies. Good luck! Change or improve on this recipe .... this grand old lady made the best desserts that you could image.
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