Stop Smoking Support Thread
Comments
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And my beautiful grandbabies! My son officially adopts Mckenzie (she is 6) on January 8th. Aubrey turned 2 months old on the 23rd so her Mom takes a pic of each month with her sister and the bear...lol
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April485, your girls are beautiful!
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April - beautiful pictures. Thanks for sharing. 34's just a spring chicken. I remember thinking how anyone my age was soooooo over the hill when I was in my 30's. I also remember having lots of energy. Sigh!!! Anyway, moving right along, she's gorgeous, as are the grandbabies.
LisaMarie? Beckers? Christmas pictures of grandbabies? Don't make me stoop so low as to post a picture of my granddog. Seaside - are you still monitoring? VR - how was your holiday?
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Hi everyone! Pretty quiet around here .... you think it was Christmas or something???? I think I'm funny tonight .... need to sleep. Off of work this week .... it's nice. Got cold today and supposed to have snow tonight .... too bad we didn't have that on Christmas. Hope you ladies are enjoying the season!
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Judi - you got that right. Guess we might as well start on the NY Eve champagne early - LOL.
Going for steaks tomorrow w/my ex & his wife. We'll exchange gifts & he'll pay. And I'll have a cocktail for lunch. The holiday celebrations continue.
Bosum's had computer problems. I expect she'll be back soon.
I do understand that some people are dialing back on the site as they move forward away from breast cancer. I'm not willing to "go cold turkey" yet - ahem...on the BCO site, what did you think? Although I'm weaning myself off some "medical" threads, I do keep in touch on several other threads that are not specifically about cancer and have met some great ladies.
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Ha, ha, MinusTwo .... beat you to it .... having Chocolate Patron Tequila right now. Sippin it and enjoying it. That's interesting about dinner tomorrow ... I try but sometimes I get held back due to anger. Good for you for dinner with your ex and his wife. Enjoy the meal and drinks .... you deserve it. Yes, I hear you about dialling back on the BCO site. This is really the only site that I go on. I look at the Canadian site but I never went through what a lot of them went through, so I have no ideal what they are talking about or offer any insight. But I still like to read as you can always pick up something. I don't know about going off totally as I feel that you guys are my friends and I would miss you but I guess at some point you have to do it. I find that I can quickly go on and off as compared to when I first joined. What would I do without all of the women's wisdom?
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That's what I think Judi. Also I received so much help from so many women on this site that I want to give back if I can. Normally after I look here I check in with Book Lovers and So What's For Dinner and I have no wish to disengage.
You know how our smoking used to bother some folks in a restaurant? I'm REALLY bothered by babies & toddlers at nice restaurants who continue to scream & cry and no one walks outside w/them. Also bothered by people who let their kids run all over a restaurant. Where are their manners (the parents I mean) Guess I'm old fashioned but I think this is at least equally as disruptive to a pleasant dinner as a smoker in the corner. We're not talking McDonald's here. This was a sedate restaurant w/table cloths & waiters w/ties. Sigh.
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Morning MinusTwo. I'm glad you enjoyed your meal but the kids/parents were a pain in the ass. I had that happen to me while my sister and I had the kids in McDonald's. An older "person" commented as my great nephew was having a meltdown about having to put on his shoes to go to the bathroom. The person commented that we should keep the kid in check and stop him from crying. I told the guy that this was "McDonald's" and what did he expect. Now really, there is a time and place for all and this was not a fine dining spot but in all reality, the guy was partially right. He did have the right to somewhat expect some quietness while talking with his friends. He didn't have to worry ..... nephew did his business and we took him right out ..... he wanted to keep playing in the play area but he lost that right when he kicked up such a fuss. What are your New Year's plans? Ours is quiet .... fajitas, wine and bed. Happy New Year's to everyone!
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Happy new Year to all of you who are hiding out still celebrating from last week. Hope everyone is well - and if you've already met the challenge - remembering that quitting smoking is always ONE DAY AT A TIME.
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Happy New Year ladies! May it be filled with peace ,happiness and good health and most of all, may it be smoke free! xoxoxoxo
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Happy 2015 everyone! May this year be better then last and everyone is blessed with laughter, love, health, and happiness!
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Anybody else read Dear Abby today? She printed the list of 8 New years Resolutions, which were adapted by her late mother, (the first Dear Abby) Pauline Phillips, from the original credo ot Al-Anon. Every one of the eight starts with "JUST FOR TODAY". Here's the first one:
"Just for Today: I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all my problems at once. I know I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime."
So... just for today I will try not worry about another breast cancer recurrence and I will continue not to smoke - much as I wanted to reach out for a cigarette this afternoon.
Happy New Year everyone.
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Bravo MinusTwo .... I'm clapping at the post you posted. How true!
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Hi, all, I read this thread for the first time a week ago and am following it now. I've smoked 50 years. Hard to believe, but had my first cigarette at 10, and by 13 was a full-fledged addict.
I've found an on-line group that may have been mentioned earlier, but if you haven't checked out Nicotine Anonymous, a twelve step program, you might find it helpful. Voices of Nicotine Recovery is a chapter of Nicotine Anonymous and has voice meetings several times a day on a website called Paltalk. Links for both NicA and Voices are below:
You can also search the Nicotine Anonymous website to see if there are face-to-face meetings in your area.
Feel free to private message me with questions.
Seeing us all happy, joyous and cancer free in the New Year,
Calico
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Calico - welcome. Many of our members seem to be on vacation from the threads, but there are a few die hards who will continue to respond. It's too important an issue to give up. Have you already quit or are you getting prepared? Thanks for posting the links. I'll check them out.
Today I'm going to skip Dear Abby's # 2. It's just a little to spacey for my current state of mind. So here are the two after that.
# 3 - "Just for today: I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things that I can correct and accept those I cannot."
Face it - I just don't want to start exercising again. And that is the ONLY thing that helped keep me from smoking. So will I ever go back to the gym, or accept that I've become a slacker?
# 4 - "Just for today: I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. I will not be a mental loafer"
Well, I've been trying to read an article about String Theory Physics. I believe I got a "D" in Physics 101 50 years ago so never progressed to quantum mechanics or really grasped general relativity. Now those may be replaced by string theory. I did read the article twice, but got only a rudimentary grasp of the facts, Think I'll try an article about Amelia Earhart next.
Lisamarie - getting worried about you again. Check in when you can.
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Hi, MinusTwo, thanks for responding and glad to meet you. I know I have things I always "plan" on doing, but somehow, they never bubble up to the level of priority. I think it's helpful to revisit them from time to time, because time goes by, and I change.
Eleven years ago, I started tracking my weight on a daily basis. Marked it on a calendar and at the end of the month, would compute an average, and keep it Excel, and calculate an average annual weight. I now weigh 9 more pounds than when I started, so that's what my compulsiveness bought me. Maybe I should give up tracking my weight, ya think? I guess I might have gained even more if I hadn't tracked it.
I've been attending the on-line Voices of Nicotine Recovery meetings for 4 years. I've had many quits, but could not sustain one until just recently. This one feels like it might actually last, but as an addict knows, it's always one day at a time. I will never be cured and will have to be vigilant for the rest of my life. That's OK. I've met many wonderful people in Voices and gotten a huge amount of support. No guilt trips there.
Take care and see you later!
Calico
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Calico - sending you strength & hugs that this one will last!!
There are only a few more points from Dear Abby. Here's another. I figure by the time they're all posted, everyone will be back from vacation or hiatus or whatever.
"Just for today: I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path and I'll not speak ill of others. I will improve my appearance, speak softly and not interrupt when someone else is talking"
Oh dear - this one is hard for me. I find the older I get the less patience I have - so I know I'm less agreeable. Not to mention that one of my faults has always been interrupting. And it's to easy to be snarky when I see a total dope.
But just for today - I didn't smoke.
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HellO! I am very new to this forum and have lurked for the last month and just joined today. I have never noticed this quit smoking forum and hope it is ok to share that 10+ years ago I found a site called whyquit.com. The essays on that site really helped me when I a made a resolve to stop. It was not easy but the mantras there and the ideas to "never take another puff" really helped me stop. After quitting I started exercising and would you believe I ended up taking up running and have now run THREE marathons?
If I can do this, anyone can... and that means YOU!! Never another puff.
With love,
Sonya
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Hi, MinusTwo, very good wisdom from Dear Abby. I relate to the lack of patience. I had a "hair-trigger" mouth, and will slip occasionally and still go off, but not as much as before. I find that, between the BC and wanting to not smoke, I can no longer afford the luxury of my own indignation. It just makes me want to light up, dang it.
Maybe everybody's busy playing with their Christmas presents.
Take care!
Calico
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SoSonya - thanks for posting. Actually whyquit.com is one of the sites I frequented when I was desperate in the middle of the night. And the other thing I used to help was walking. Everytime I wanted a smoke & pushed myself out the door to walk. Ended up joining a gym & doing 5 miles most days. Amazing about the marathons. Congrats.
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Happy New Year Ladies! Been kind of busy lately but wanted to stop by and say hello.
Judi, did you leave for South Africa yet?
Minus, patience is not my strong suit either..lol
Calico, welcome..any words of wisdom here are welcome cause we all struggle with this addiction daily. Have not smoked since April 20th, 2013, but still struggle!
Sonya, WOW about the marathons!
Bosum, come out and play?
Lisamarie, hope you are well!
Love to all!~ xoxo
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HI Ladies and Happy New Year to all .. may we all be healthy and happy... I am sorry just lots going on .. so I have not posted .. But i was told by my daughter the other day that she is so proud of me and how strong I am being... so good .. Dont know how long its been but im still smoke free... Yippeeee.. and I just had a birthday coem and go as well ... so now I am 46 ... I am gaining about 1 pound a week still I am 128 .. and really starting to freak out ... Anyway I am so glad to see everyone doing so well... xoxoxox Love and Miss you all ..
Lisamarie
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Hello ladies. Welcome Calico .... you will always find support here. MinusTwo .... I'm just like you and Calico .... must be an age thing as I'm getting more and more impatient. But, I'm hoping with one week of work left and fully retired that life will be joyous .... as my sisters says "it just isn't worth the juice". So that is the mantra I'm going to try and adopt. Did you notice my words "try". LisaMarie, I'm soooooooo proud of you. We aren't counting either but good going. April, haven't left for South Africa yet. Just packed and got my itinerary ..... sounds like a fabulous trip. Just met for breakfast with our friends and Wally and I are the only two of the 7 of us who haven't gone. So now, we will be in the know. Leave for South Africa on Jan. 13th so will not be posting from then on until I arrive back which is Feb. 3rd. Bonus .... don't have to change my Canadian dollars into U.S. dollars as my friend's husband will do the exchange for us (South African money) so we don't lose. Canadian dollar sucks so we would have lost big money. It cost my friend $500 dollars for $2700 U.S. O.k. my computer is acting up so I'm signing off.
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Oh Judi - I didn't realize you were going to completely retire before the trip. What a send off.
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Hello Ladies! I am hands down, the crankiest, flat chested, scarred up 48 year old momma on the planet. I am mean...no kidding. I quit smoking on November 20th...been smoking for 35 years. I've quit 6 times before...tried it all...nic patches and gum (did't help), Zyban (allergic reaction - cannot ever take it again), Champix/US VERSION Chantix (didn't work, nightmares, exhaustion) and now I've quit because I have stage 2b cancer that did spread into my lymph nodes and chemo is coming. All in all, I am so depressed, angry and if one more freakin person tells me to look on the bright side, at least I am still alive....I might bop them one in the nose!! Obviously, I'm just thrilled to be alive - HOWEVER - I'm cranky as hell, destroying all happy people everywhere!!! Hence, this is quit number 7!!! Wondering if any of you have a drug that works with all that I have ahead of me (will have to take Tamoxifen ER positive AND Herceptin HER2 positive)....and I am feeling quite desperate. If any of you feel as though you'd like to lecture me or impose MORE guilt or shame on my already FULL PLATE, please resist the urge - I am reaching out because I do not know what else to do!! I've had antidepressants before as well - for the purpose of trying to quit smoking (as a smoker, I have NO ANXIETY ISSUES at all??? Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde!!!).....heeeeeelp!!! Anyone heard of Buspar??? Any others???
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...oh AND yes, I've tried it all!!! Running, gym memberships, candles, aromatherapy, counselling, quit smoking hotline, books/self help, doctor assisted....nothing works and my problem is not QUITTING, is is staying quit. The longest I ever made it was 8 months....I nearly lost my job and my marriage....I started smoking again, just to make things easier...."pleasant me" returned and everyone seemed happy to have me back. I felt guilty imposing "unpleasant me" upon anyone at all! But I felt like I was losing my mind and here I am AGAIN....only this time, one top of it, I have cancer and just had a bilateral mastectomy with 24 lymph nodes removed. I am suffering BUT I want to stay quit. Tell me how!!! Please!!!!
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PerAngusta, You sound like you are at the end of your rope. You are right there are two parts--quitting and then staying quit. It sounds like you are extremely addicted to nicotine for your "unpleasant" self to be around for 8 months. How much do you smoke?
You mentioned that you had tried NRT (patches and gum) but it sounds like they didn't give you enough nicotine to calm your system down. Most people who use NRT don't use enough of it. No NRT will give you as much nicotine as smoking (see chart) which is why most of us in tobacco control now suggest using combination therapy--and upping the dose until the withdrawal symptoms go away. I've known some smokers to use 2 patches plus the inhaler and the gum, all at the same time. If you notice the patch after 1 hour gives you less nicotine than a cigarette smoked an hour earlier. The nicotine spray is the NRT that comes closest to what a cigarette gives, but then only half as much and a prescription is required. And we tell people to not decrease the amount of nicotine being used until they have had at least 2 weeks of no withdrawal symptoms, it may take you several months, maybe a year to wean off of NRT or maybe never. Five year studies have shown no detrimental effects of long term NRT use.
Almost all of the drugs used for cessation will cause sleep problems because of the receptors that are affected by nicotine, even patches.
You didn't mention whether your doctors don't want you on nicotine or not, so I don't know if that is even an alternative. There simply is no easy answer. There is a cheap drug used in eastern europe that does seem to work but I don't know if it is available in Canada, it's not approved in the states (probably because pharma can't make money off of it). Cytisine
http://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa1407764..
Good luck, you won't get lectures here, only encouragement. VJ
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This is from my book "How to Win at Quitting Smoking" and I'm not saying that any of these apply to you but maybe give you something to think about. The smokers I work with, are the ones who say--nothing works but I've never met a smoker I couldn't help but that doesn't mean that it is easy.
Reasons why medications don't work:
Expecting too much: Medications take the edge off of cravings and withdrawal symptoms, but you still may have some symptoms. However they should not be overwhelming.
Product is used incorrectly: Read the package insert to make sure you are using the product correctly. For example, do not wait for a craving to come up before reaching for the gum or a lozenge. Take them consistently throughout the day to ward off strong cravings. Talk to your doctor or pharmacist if you need more information.
Not using enough medication: None of the nicotine replacement products will give you the same jolt of nicotine or as fast an effect as you get from a cigarette. Make sure you use enough of the product. There is no reason to be uncomfortable. For a heavily addicted smoker, using more than one medication or a combination of medications may be needed.
Not using them long enough: It takes time to learn to unlearn your smoking behavior, the social aspects and how to deal with stress. Do not stop the medications too soon and risk relapsing because you have not dealt with these other aspects.
Not understanding that there is more to quitting than just getting through the physical withdrawals: Medications only deal with the physical part of smoking; there is also a behavioral part. They cannot be expected to take the place of learning how to live life as a non-smoker.
Not having strong enough motivation: If you really do not want to quit, medications will not increase your motivation. If you relapse it is easier to say the medication did not work instead of admitting that you were not ready to quit. Medications are not a substitution for strong desire.
Mistaking withdrawal symptoms for nicotine overdose or side effects from the medication: Know what nicotine withdrawal symptoms are. If you are experiencing any of them, you may not be getting enough medication: use more medication and/or add another one for combination therapy.
Withdrawal symptoms: irritability, frustration, anger, anxiety, depression or feeling sad, difficulty concentrating, restlessness, decreased heart rate, hunger or an increase in appetite, inability to fall or stay asleep. Increase your dosage to relieve these symptoms.
Nicotine overdose symptoms: Do you remember your very first cigarette? That is what nicotine overdose feels like: cold sweats, nausea or abdominal pain, vomiting, diarrhea, headache, dizziness, excess saliva, disturbed hearing and vision, tremor, mental confusion and reduced oxygen to your skin. You are getting too much nicotine; reduce the amount of nicotine medication you are using.
Mistaking caffeine overdose for side effects, withdrawals or nicotine overdose: If you are a heavy coffee drinker you may need to adjust the amount of caffeine consumed because smoking interferes with the absorption of caffeine. After you quit it may feel like getting a double dose of caffeine; more than you are used to.
Caffeine overdose symptoms: insomnia, nervousness, restlessness, irritability, stomach upset, fast heartbeat and muscle tremors.
Not giving the medication a chance: Believing that using a nicotine replacement product is the same as getting nicotine from smoking and you will still be addicted to nicotine. Smoking is basically freebasing nicotine and is different than how nicotine medications are used. The dosage is lower and speed of delivery is slower than inhalation. Just like when you learned to ride a bike, you needed training wheels until you developed basic riding skills to avoid crashing. Think of nicotine medication the same way. You use it until you have the skills to avoid smoking and relapsing.
Assuming if one medication did not work, the others won't either: Not every medication is appropriate for every smoker. Work with your doctor or pharmacist to help you decide which medication or combination of medications is best for you. I have never met anyone who has used all seven FDA approved medications or combination of medications who was unsuccessful.
Decide if you will use cessation medication to ease your nicotine withdrawals. If you decide you would rather go a holistic route and avoid medications, then practice the suggestions in Step Two, number 3, "Getting Ready Physically".
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VJ - thanks for posting that info for PerAugusta.
Augusta - go right on a yell, cuse, kick, whatever. We've all either been there or are going through it now. You're right it's a royal #itch. If you get a chance, go to "my profile" and fill in your specs.
Did you have any chemo before your BMX? When was your surgery? Wow girl, 24 lymph nodes!! Will you have rads after chemo? So sorry to have you join us, but welcome. Speaking to VJ's question, we've had lots of people join us who's docs wouldn't do surgery until they'd quit smoking. So do you have to keep all nicotine from your body now? A couple of our members have quit by using E-smokes & gradually dialing the nicotine down to zero. This appears to be a really controversial issue in the US news, but it worked for them. And gives hand/arm movement satisfaction. Hope your DH (dear husband) will cut you some slack. You don't need an attitude on top of everything else and you certainly don't have to look on the bright side all the time. Scary stuff.
Do come back & share or yell anytime you want. It's certainly justified and we can absorb it. And when all else fails, cry. Take a look at the links that Calico posted a few days ago and SoSonya's thought about whyquitnow.com. How about sunflower seeds in the shells? It kept my hands busy. We're rooting for you!!
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Thanks Girls! Didn't help at all (lol - seeeeeeeee how rotten I am!!!) but I think you are adorable for trying. The sad and simple truth of this is, that everyone is different. I've tried all of the logical, medical and even spiritual approaches to a quit. Ideally, I would never have started in the first place. And ideally, I would not have cancer. The reality of my world is overwhelming and I do NOT want to do all of this painful, humiliating, youth stealing, sleep depriving, joy-robbing, quality of life snatching crap!!...I think I will ask the moderators to take me off this site because I really, truly have nothing good to share with anyone. I'm beyond a chat or discussion group - I need to see a professional now....and I recommend that anyone else who might be feeling as low as I am...do the same. ): No shame in admitting that I am NOT STRONG ENOUGH to deal with all of this. Take care girls!!!
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