Stop Smoking Support Thread
Comments
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My first post here after reading the posts since May. Diagnosed April 2016. Stage3A, her2+,er-,pr-.
So happy to find this thread. I cut back considerably during chemo and surgery. I'm now in the middle of radiation and trying to cut back even more. Just thinking totally quitting during holidays could be a recipe for disaster with the stress. Then again am I just kidding myself so I can smoke longer? I know I need to quit but it helps me so much with the stress of 2 kids and the anxiety that comes with this diagnosis. Just curious if the patch has helped any of yoi
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Sawyetr - Welcome. Our diagnoses are similar. Looks like you are one of the "lucky" ones - your doc went ahead and did surgery while you were still smoking.
If you'll read back a couple of pages, VJ has suggested the stress at the holidays might be a particularly difficult time to quit. She suggested getting your plan together & getting your mind ready to quit on the 1st. Within this thread we have had someone succeed with every possible method - patch, gum, e-cigarettes, Chantix, etc. The key is that you personally are ready to quit. Most of us have quit a number of times before we finally made it. And we all agree that it's probably the hardest thing we've ever done. So if you quit on a Monday and just can't make it to Wednesday, don't beat yourself up. Just try again.
I used Chantix. As an update - the FDA has granted approval for Chantix to remove the "black box" warning on the drug. I couldn't have finally made it without this help. Others will chime in about their methods.
When you get a minute, do go to "My Profile" and enter your BC history so people can remember where you are in the process while they are answering. And feel free to jump in any time.
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Thinking of every one of you and how much you have meant in my life. Thank you.
Hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas and Hanukka and Solstice.
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Happy Holidays ladies! xoxo
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Hey friends...I concur with April's holiday wishes. It has been a very difficult week for me but I will be playing Chickenfoot (a domino game) with some neighbor ladies on New Years Eve. And making Hawaiian Sweet Roll sliders w/half ham & cheddar, and half turkey & havarti.
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Happy Holiday's to all of you ladies .. I just had my 48th Birthday Dec 29 .. I worked .. I am just stopping by to wish you all a very Happy New Year filled with Lots of great things to come ... Hugs and Love to you all
xoxoxoxoxo
Lisamarie
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Happy New Year everyone. I'm still off the smokes, no plans for tonight other than to spend some time with my son before he goes back to college and to stay awake late enough to pick up my daughter from work after midnight.
May the new year bring us all much happiness and the good health we all deserve.
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Leslie - that is fantastic. Congratulations.
LisaMarie - Happy Birthday.
Bosum - so glad you're still with us!!!
Happy New Year my friends. I remember the days when we were out half the night drinking and smoking. It was easy to go through an entire pack, or even more on a NY Eve. But oh the horrible hangovers the next day - from the smokes as much as the drinks. Another year that some of us made it as smokers not smoking, just one day at a time. And some of us are still looking for a good date to start quitting. Everyone's in it together. Cheers to my friends on this thread.
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LisaMarie!
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Wishing you strength Bosum! You got this!!
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Bosum - everyone says the 'climbing the wall' part only last 3 days. Hope you can vape enough to make it past that marker. Is there a indoor mall close to your house that you could walk? Thinking of you girl!!
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I'm struggling today too BB. Not sure why. I'm 24 days off now, and my chemo is Wednesday, so I'm not going to fold today or tomorrow, but I'm really worried I'll back slide after this chemo as I want one so bad. Sigh. Also...I'm ticked (at myself) that it's "only" 24 days off...it feels so much longer, so instead of being whooohoo! I'm over 3 weeks! my brain is going gah...seriously? Not even a month yet? Can't win this week for some reason.
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Leslie - I actually started out counting hours & minutes I'd been off smokes. That finally morphed to days. At a year I could still tell you how many months and how many days. So - guess you all didn't know I'm obsessive/compulsive (or what ever it's called now)? I wonder how many of us who have such a hard time quitting have this trait.
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I think you can go to bed at 6 if you want. Maybe normally 21 days is a good place to be...it could just be because I'm kind of anxious about my chemo this week (drug change) that is causing me to focus on the smoking so much.
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hi leslie sorrysorhi to hear that. I hope you don't mind me posting here. This may not be a suitable question. Im 5 months pregnant 1st time age 39 almost 40' however I have smoked since 16 years old and read everywhere that smoking before first pregnancy is 65% risk factor. Im extra worried because I'm a lot older when pregnant first time. I woukd lije to hear sime of your comments. I don't sleep and every day its all I think about and worried that it's eating me so much I cant enjoy life. Thank you x best of luck with recovery xx
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Hi Ann-Jane. Congrats on the pregnancy!! I took a peek at your other posts, and it looks like you aren't diagnosed with BC yet....look, best advice I can give you? Stop panicing and stressing. It's better for you and the baby if you can stay calm. Cut back on smoking as much as possible if you don't feel you can get right off them at the moment, but find some happy thoughts....the worry will do your baby no good and you don't know where the tests are going yet. Dense breasts do not mean you will or do have BC. Just breathe, try to relax and enjoy your pregnancy. Smile and think of that little bundle you will be holding soon.
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Ann-Jane: I too looked at your other posts. Micro-calcifications or dense breasts are not necessarily a precursor to breast cancer. Many women have dense breasts. I was told at age 27 that I had dense breasts and had a mammogram every year for 40 years with no problems. I'll echo Leslie's post - congrats on the pregnancy. Yes cut back if you can't quit, but breast cancer is the last thing you should be worried about at this time. Focus on your general health. See your OB/Gyn regularly and follow his advice, eat properly, get plenty of sleep & exercise, and start looking forward to the fun (and trials) of having a little one in your life. Dial back on checking 'dr google'. That really will only feed your anxieties.
I'll post an interesting smoking tidbit shortly.
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So... I got pregnant in 1969. My OB/Gyn told me this was NOT a good time to quit since I would gain too much weight. I was looking in the Better Homes & Garden's Baby Book (pretty much a 'bible' in that era) reviewing developmental stages since I'm going to baby sit my 14 month old niece this weekend. I ran across this advise in the 1969 printing. Since no one ever believed what my doc said, I was at least vindicated to see it in writing.
"To date much has been done to inform the general public of the harmful effects of smoking. However, opinion is divided as to whether or not smoking is more hazardous during pregnancy. If you're a heavy smoker, doctors advise that you cut down to a great extent, but you needn't quit entirely, unless your doctor recommends it."
"An alcoholic beverage contains between 70-160 calories and might be well worth eliminating from your diet if your doctor suggests cutting down on your calorie intake. Alcohol adds calories without nourishment to your diet, and for other reasons may be harmful. Ask your doctor whether or not you may drink on occasion."
Times do change. Every one was worried about weight gain. Then they stopped worrying about weight for awhile and now the nation is worrying about weight again. I'd guess it's pretty clear that smoking will NOT be recommended as a way to loose weight (LOL).
To all of us who have quit - cheers & keep up the good work. Just for today I will not smoke. To all of you who are still trying, don't despair. Just plan to try again if you slip.
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And me Bosum. My son was over 8 lbs and 22" long. Now he's 6'3". And of course he's a genius. Although that's just my opinion, he seems to have dodged the bullet.
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As far as smoking and breast cancer -- the risk of BC for a woman who has never been pregnant is 2x that of a never smoker. The breast go through changes at adolescence and again during pregnancy. A woman who has never had children, her breasts don't go through that final change. I don't know what your individual risk would be with a late pregnancy.
I fit into this category of never having been pregnant and smoked. My mother also smoked the whole time she was pregnant with me. I got cancer at 32 -- I will never know if my smoking contributed to my cancer and/or that combined with being exposed to 7,000 chemicals during gestation caused my cancer.
I have reread this post and it is very harsh. Some of you will be offended - I don't care - it needs to be said.
Smoking when it only affects you is one thing but smoking for two is a different story.
Years ago I used to train Healthcare professionals to talk to pregnant woman about smoking. I had a video (and I wish I still had a copy) that I think every pregnant woman should see. The woman had an ultrasound and you could see the baby's heart and lungs pumping. Then she smoked a cigarette and both the heart and lungs stopped working for the whole time she smoked. With every cigarette you are strangling your baby and depriving it of precious oxygen needed for its growth.
So I am going to have to disagree with the others about cutting down if you can't quit ---QUIT NOW---with every cigarette you are cutting off the oxygen to your baby. At your age, you are a high risk pregnancy already and adding smoking to it is not good. Do everything possible to stop smoking!!!!!!!
I know that many woman have smoked during pregnancy and "their baby is fine" ----but what they don't know is how much healthier that baby would have been, had it not been oxygen deprived, they don't know the cognitive problems that develop later in life due to being oxygen deprived, they don't know if the 7,000 chemicals in smoke have changed the gene structure and gave that baby genetic structural problems that make them more susceptible to a wide variety of diseases including cancer later in life (could that be the reason why I got cancer so early?).
So please, please, please quit smoking --- you are smoking for two and you baby is growing at the fastest pace it ever will and that smoke is not good for babies
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VJ - I certainly won't disagree with you. Like I said, I feel that my son missed the speeding bullet but it was only luck. Quitting is the best policy. But I would also be concerned about taking any 'stop smoking' helps if I were pregnant in this day & age, whether patch or pill. I'd have to study if they would pass the blood/brain barrier. Just as a matter of interest, are any 'aides' recommended to pregnant women?
As it turns out, Ann-Jane posted this exact same story on 4 or 5 threads and most have been removed by the Mods. It's one thing to be concerned about getting cancer, and another to start posting on "diagnosed but waiting" threads. This is a breast cancer site and she has no indication or symptoms of any cancer at all - present or future. Yes, she should be worried about her own health & the health of her baby, but I don't think she needs to be worrying about breast cancer at this point in her life. Dr. Google strikes at people's anxieties again!!!
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The difference between using pills or patches is that these are one chemical and there are 7,000 in smoke. Nicotine is not good for a developing fetus, but neither are the other chemicals. If a pregnant woman needs to use something to get over withdrawals, then a short acting NRT --gum, lozenge, inhaler is prefered over the patch which is long acting. A short acting NRT is similar to the dosing of nicotine through a cigarette-- a short burst of nicotine rather than continuous dosing like from a patch.
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I agree, we do know a whole lot more than we used to. And in the future we will know even more. Hopefully more about BC and how to prevent it.
A true story I used to use in my classes was a girlfriend that I had. She had 4 boys. She smoked during two pregnancies and didn't smoke for the other two. Two of her sons were straight A students with no real problems. The other two were C and D students with multiple conduct problems in school. Anyone care to guess which two she smoked with and which two she didn't? While there is really no way of knowing how her smoking during pregnancy affected her boys, she does wonder ----what if she hadn't smoked?
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Bosum - I don't believe in guilt. My mother should have raised me in a different religion if we're intended to blame ourselves for everything. Hmmm - she did try to guilt me, but I finally learned how to say I AM REALLY A PRETTY GOOD PERSON. I may have smoked and I do drink, and maybe I don't go to church every Sunday (or Friday or Saturday as the case may be), but I never robbed a bank or stole anything. In fact, I tried not to hurt anyone - physically or emotionally. Of course I may not have done everything just right, but: 1) I did the best that I could, and 2) I followed the advice of my docs at the time. Would I do things differently now? Probably. I'm sure you agree we wouldn't have given so much of our hearts & entire selves to men who were certified a$$es. I'm betting that LisaMarie will join us in that last one.
Sorry for the rant. I just really don't believe that guilt is a productive, live-affirming emotion. And that includes the fact that I DID NOT cause my BC. Lung cancer, maybe... but I don't have that. (yet anyway)
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Bosom .. I was Happy to know yopu were vaping .. I used to be the same way .. whenever someone would piss me off break my heart or just plain aggrivate me .. or things did not go my way .. sheesh .. Id smoke and thought I had the best excuses and that no one understood and it justified my smoking ... I do know today that it was just my way of not having to quit .. so just don't give up .. stop stop beating yourself up ... I was so good for all that ... the Best actually .. I only relaized all this when my son past away .. if I did not run back to smokes then .. I knew i had been making excuses and just was not ready .. Im still here to talk if u want ... i know im not here much .. I work the two jobs and seem to have no life .. we got hit with 10 inches yesterday and i got home at 4 am this morning .. after driving the slippery roads ... I love looking at snow but its not for me ... lol .. anyway Thank you all for the Birthday wishes... Love ya all
and to the new ladies ... one day at a time .. keep it simple and sont beat yourself up ...
I smoked with all 4 pregnancies .. not saying i should have but all babies were ok
but i had them all at a young age also ...
well gotta get ready to shovel and go back to work xoxoxox
Minus, April, Judi ... hope all is well miss u ladies like crazy .. maybe someday my licfe will slow down .. xoxoxoxox
Lisamarie
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Yes nicotine dependency is more than just physical. People smoke for the same reasons that others drink and do drugs -- it changes our moods. Nicotine lessens negative emotions and elevates positive emotions because of the flood of dopamine. Part of the problem is that the brain gets used to these high levels of dopamine and when quitting, the levels drop, so even if the dopamine returns to normal levels, the brain is used to more, so that negative emotions are heightened and positive emotions are dampened. It takes awhile for the brain to adjust. So there is a physical dependency on nicotine that causes withdrawals, there is also an emotional element that needs to be addressed. Also most people start smoking as a teen (I started at 14). At some level, our emotional coping mechanisms stops at the age we started smoking --- because now whenever we felt stress, anxiety etc we would smoke -- it would help and we didn't have to develop other coping strategies that non-smokers did. In my group workshops, I spend two hours on coping with emotions and two hours on stress. (the teacher teaches what they need to learn the most).
For me, anger was my last barrier to staying quit. I had never learned how to handle anger (to this day if my mother is angry with you, she just stops talking to you and won't say anything -- except to others hoping they will tell you why she is pissed, very dysfunctional and passive aggressive). The last time I relapsed (I had been quit for about 3 months) was because my father who was drunk called my boss at work and said he was "Santy Claus" and wanted to know how I was doing at work. Luckily his call was intercepted by the secretary who told me. I was so angry, I went straight to a store, bought a pack and smoked the whole thing. I called him back and said I had a gun and I was going to shoot myself while he listened (not true, only a threat) and he hung up on me. I did quit again about a month later but I spent a great deal of time, coming up with ways to deal with anger without smoking. I also called my father and set some boundaries. I also learned that just because they are family doesn't mean I needed to accept their intolerable behavior. Needless to say, there are some family members I have no contact with except at family gatherings. I have no idea of how I would handle if it were my children (which I don't have any).
I'm not trying to make anyone feel guilty about their smoking. In the past doctors regularly encouraged pregnant women to not stop smoking -- small baby, too much stress and a wide variety of reasons. No one should feel guilty for doing something they had no knowledge of. But I do understand. I remember during the early 1980's when AIDS was just being known about and I said a very stupid thing that still haunts me today. I know I shouldn't feel guilty since we didn't have the information we have today, but I still feel guilty about it. I've never had children so I don't have any guilt about that -- except to know that I would have been a perfect mother
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VJ - you've really had a round. Thanks for sharing. It's good to know that we're not alone - and we're probably not crazy. My own Mother was still making me cry every week when I was 45. But here's the problem with that sentence - "she was making me cry"... and I was a grown-up, and lived in a different state... Hmmm. Sounds like you took control or your own life and forged ahead. It took me a very long time (filled with lots of guilt) to learn that I had to set boundaries & keep them. It's so hard to get past some of the things that life throws at us.
LisaMarie - you are amazing - finishing school, working two jobs, staying off the smokes & booze. You may not think you have much of a life now, but look what you're moving towards. So sorry about the snow issues. I could never live in snow again.
I baby sat for a 14 month old yesterday afternoon so her parents could go to a show. It's pretty much the first time they've left the baby. Wow, what energy. It was only 4 hours but I was exhausted. Luckily she loved to do my favorite thing - crawl in my lap to read a book in between running & playing.
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Bosum - so sorry to hear about your boys. Your time will come to quit smoking. In the mean time, don't beat up on yourself. Guilt is such a nasty, insidious thing. I'd say 'maybe we'll will the lottery', but since I don't buy tickets I don't have a prayer of winning. Oh well. You are in my thoughts.
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thanl you leslie. I feel bad posting on your site. Take care ann jane
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thanl you leslie. I feel bad posting on your site. Take care ann jane
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