Stop Smoking Support Thread
Comments
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Hi Seaside (I too won the ILC lottery) and hi Dutchy. I have only recently heard about the E cigarette...have no idea what it is. The nicotrol inhaler is like this Betty Davis cigarette holder looking thing that you put nicotine cartridges in. I'm only using it when I get a really strong urge...like after eating or any other activity that I strongly link with smoking. It works pretty good but it's still not the same...guess that's the whole point. I keep hearing that voice saying, "You can have just one". I'm ignoring it because I know better. Today is day 4...but I've quit longer than this in the past. We'll see how it goes...keep up the good work.
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This is my second day and thankfully I am stilll sick and sleeping quite a bit. Right now I am having a strong urge to smoke and again I get to tell myself....."Have a cigarette then no boobies". I have to keep telling myself that if I smoke then I can not have the reconstruction and so far so good. I just told my son that I sure feel like having a cigarette and he said to me, "No Boobies". LOL ya just have to have a sense of humor going through all of this stuff.
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Hi Dutchy,
Those first 3 days are the absolute hardest!!! In my experience I thought day 2 and 3 were worse than day 1 but, I just went minute to minute then hour to hour and finally day to day and it got MUCH better between days 3 and 5! The actual physical withdrawal is over in around 72 hours which is how long it takes for all of the nicotine to leave your body. Then it's just the mental cravings you have to deal with instead of both!
Keep telling yourself 'It will NOT get any worse than this and WILL be dramatically better over the next few days if you just hang on' I told myself if I could honestly say after 5 days that I didn't feel any better then I would smoke and find a different method for quitting other than cold turkey. I didn't need to have that smoke after 5 days.
Sleep as much as you can. I know I did. Not smoking didn't seem to bother me when I was asleep. Make sure you are drinking lots of fluids and eating regularly. Another thing that worked to get the urge to pass is to breathe as though I was inhaling on a cigarette. Sounds goofy but, it forced me to take really deep breathes. Remember the urge to smoke will pass within 3 minutes whether or not you smoke!
Good for your son for deciding to quit too!
I will check back in later to see how you are doing.
Remember.... "Have a cigarette then no boobies!!!"
I will say a quick prayer for you.
Hang in there!
Jennifer0 -
GML,
How's things going? Are you hanging in there?
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Hanging in there....barely....day 5 today. I will probably chew the nicorette gum forever as I've tried cold turkey before and almost lost my mind. I still want one terribly...but am not....still have that sick thinking ("Oh, you'll end up smoking eventually anyway" and "How much of a risk for a blood clot is there really"). We'll see how it goes....I see we are all neck and neck....good luck to us all!
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GML,
You are right at the point now where it does start to get much better!
What I was told and found to be true for me is that the first 3-5 days I felt like absolute HELL (and that is an understatement.. lol)! Then it was still a stuggle with the psychological cravings till somewhere around week 3 but no where near as bad as those first days. Then there's a gradual shift that happens where you realize that you have gone from smoking/not smoking occupying your thinking every second of every day to maybe an urge that lasts a couple minutes a couple times a day. That's where I am today. Will be 8 weeks tomorrow since I quit. Was a 1 1/2 a day smoker for 30 years (started as young teen for those doing the age math.. lol).
I know what you mean about the rationalizations too but, that's not you talking that's the addiction.
Jancie just passed the 4 week mark! Hopefully she can offer some insight into how she's feeling now.
Hang in there. Look at all you have been through. You are stronger than you know.
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i started smoking (again after having quit for a decade) when my father died of a stroke in 06 and then my husband was diagnosed with esophageal cancer later that year. he was a 2-3 pack a day man and apparently smoking can contribute to esophageal cancer, as well as drinking. he died 10 wks later, oddly enough on the day this thread was started only 2 yrs earlier. i couldn't stop smoking, it was my only outlet even though i knew it was so bad andwrong on so many levels. it took me until may 15, 2009 to quit though i tried several times and made it a couple weeks. once i made it 5 wks, then my favorite cat died. the last time i didn't plan it. i just slapped a patch on and took my Wellbutrin (a great combo) and shoved an unlit old butt in my mouth, which i called my binkie. i didn't give a damn who thought the binkie was stupid, as long as it helped me quit. sometimes i would even jam it in my mouth at my desk at work if i was anxious or riled up enough! i was absolutely religious about using the path that time too instead of being half-assed about it like i'd been before. then weeks went by and i found i forgot about my binkie after 3, forgot about smoking in about 5. then 3 months later i found this lump on my breast and was diagnosed with cancer. my first thought as i listened to the surgeon give me the news was "I NEED A CIGARETTE!" but then i thought to myself how those cigarettes may have, in combination with so much else, helped the cancer get a foot-hold in my body. so i rejected the desire for a cigarette and here i am over 6 months later still not smoking, despite breast cancer. i can smell cigarette smoke from yards away and think to myself man, i am glad i am not a slave to those things anymore. and though i could never smell how i must have stunk before, i sure can smell how other smokers stink now. i also found that thinking about the money i was saving (the price of those things is insane) helped, especially in this economy! i bought myself a nice trip with the money i saved. good luck to everyone out there trying to quit. if i could do it, you sure can.
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Goodmorning everyone!! Sorry - been neglecting the fine ladies here for a couple of days.
Dutchy - hang in there - it does get better. Although when I was going through that phase I would have knocked the crap out of anyone that said that to me! Don't minimize my addiction and the pain it is to get rid of it is what I would scream at my husband. Now he just keeps his mouth shut - smart guy!
GML - Stay strong! My weak moments were always around day 7 and day 17. That was the pattern for the last 5 years that I have tried to quit off and on. I still crave that smoke and it has been a month for me now. I don't have the physical cravings but gosh the emotional ones are what gets to me every time.
Seaside - thanks for your continueing support of us. I know it has been awhile for you that you have quit but I am so glad you are here to encourage us newbies onwards.
Mattzie - I wondered a couple of times if my smoking contributed to my getting breast cancer but I put that out of my mind right away. I won't guilt myself that way. Too many women who have never smoked in their lives get BC. I am so glad that you were able to remain strong in your determination to quit even through the most trying of times.
Janzin - WHERE ARE YOU?
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Hi Ladies, I am frustrated as I just wrote ya all a paragraph and lost it and can not retrieve it. I am doing okay just wish I could sleep some more so I would not have to deal with these cravings. Today is my 3rd day and tomorrow is my first day back at work...hope that goes well. Just thought I'd say Hi and encourage all of ya non-smokers to keep up the good work and do not smoke. Evelyn
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Hi Dutchy,
Just wanted to check in and see how things went on your first day back at work. Hope your day wasn't too stressful and that you were able to get through it without smoking! Just wanted to let you know that I thought of you today and hoped that all was going well for you!
Jennifer
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Seaside, you are so awesome for checking up on us. Thank you and thanks to the other gals for being there for each other. Today went ok as I did not smoke. The ride home from work was hard but I survived. I got home and wanted one then...but I did not. So glad I do not have any either. So after day 5 things get a little easier? I just keep telling myself "my little saying"
and that seems to get me over the gravings. Well I am real tired and I hope you all had a successful day of not smoking and keep in touch. Evelyn0 -
Hi Dutchy,
Thanks for the kind words. Being here keeps me honest! When I'm tempted to smoke I think about how embarrassed I would be to have to come here and tell you guys that I slipped up.
Yes. I did find that I felt noticably better after 5 days. Still not great but, at least somewhat human and then it got rapidly better each day after. I'm sure the exact number of days is different for each person but, it gives you some kind of reference as to a ball park figure. I quit smoking on a Monday night and by Saturday I was able to go out with my husband without feeling too badly. I had some pretty intense physical withdawal symptoms (kind like having the flu) and I know for sure by Saturday those were gone.
You will still have the psychological cravings to deal with but, one by one, each time you encounter an activity that you used to smoke while doing, and you don't smoke, the connection will be broken and these cravings become less and less.
The car was (and sometimes still is) a tough one. I guess I never realized how often I smoked in the car. Late afternoons and evenings still can be tough. I've made late afternoon my treadmill time. It really does seem to help plus, helps to keep from gaining weight.
Hope everything went well again for you today. You are a very strong person to be able to work in the first week of a cold turkey quit. I know I couldn't have done it!
Hang in there and remember your 'saying'!
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Hi Mattzie,
Thanks for the words of encouragement.
So sorry for what you had to go through in 2006.
Your story shows beautifully that when you are ready to quit you can do it and stay quit even under the worst of circumstances!
Loved the binkie. That must have been quit a sight but, i agree, you do whatever it takes!
I hear you on the money thing. Not sure where you are but cigarettes here in NY are over 7.00 a pack and they are talking about increasing the tax ANOTHER DOLLAR per pack. Although I'm not sure money would have been a deterant for me. I think if I wanted a cigarette bad enough I would have sold my first born!
As for being a slave to the addiction, I hadn't really thought of it that way until recently when my husband suggested we go to the movies and I started thinking how long it had been since we had watched a movie in the actual theater. Before I would have said no because there was noooooo way I could sit through a movie without smoking. Just a small example.
Anyway, welcome and thanks for sharing your story.
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Jancie,
Your post where you said you would have knocked the crap out of anyone that told you it would get better early in your quit made me laugh! I guess I'm glad I didn't 'meet' you until day 4 and that NY is a looooooong way from Utah because I'm pretty sure that's exactly what I said to you! lol
How's Jazzy? Haven't heard to much about her lately.
GML,
You still hanging in there? I hope everything is going well for you.
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I am having one hell of a graving that does not seem to want to go away. I cut a straw and am using in like a cigarette but that is not really helping. I even asked my son for a cigarette, but he told me "Have a cigarette then no boobies". And I have to remember my goal to not smoke for 3 months so I can have the surgery and stay quit after I have the surgery. I can not sleep and tomorrow, or is it today, I have that interview for our Medicaid Waiver audit and I seem to be manic and not at all sleepy. Although I did just get a yawn. On Tuesday I was in and out of the car and each time it got back into the car, I had to go through my routien without a cigarette and that went pretty well. I still need to really clean out the car well once the weather gets better, but it was pretty good today. I think it hit the 80s. Well my graving is still as strong as it was when I started to write this...this one is not passing as gently as some of my others but I think that it is being prolonged because I am at one of my favorite places to smoke...the computer. I have got to get through this without a cigarette...even thought about going to buy a pack but decided to type instead. I will type until this craving goes away. Don't want to go eat either cuz I do not want to gain the weight my doctor told me would happen. I plan to prove his statistic wrong and lose instead of gain weight. Well I think it has passed and now I can lay down. If I can not sleep I will be back to type some more until I get through this...thanks for listening.
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I'm hanging in there...four years and 357 days left until I can smoke again! I haven't had one...using mostly the gum which is pretty effective for me but sometimes I chew it too hard and my jaw hurts. I told my doctor I'd probably chew the gum forever....he said that was okay. I'm also thinking that continuing some intake of the nicotine will prevent me from weight gain. I've had some strong urges....not as bad as yours Dutchy (sounds like you're going cold turkey). I tried cold turkey once and thought I was going mad. Every other thought was about having a cigarette....it was awful. Glad your post finally helped it pass.
I hear you about the cost of cigarettes in NY Seaside. I had been buying mine at the reservation, but they still cost about $40 more a carton than they did 15 years ago...and most of that is taxes, and they'll tax them up again. No one complains about that but God forbid they tax a Twinkie.
Glad to hear that you both are still on the wagon. Till next time....
GML
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Hi Dutchy and all,
Dutchy, wondering if you would consider starting a boobie bank (as a visual aid for not smoking) and put the money that you were spending on your smokes in the bank and use the $'s to shop for new apparel...
In the meantime .... hoping it will help you to know that within 20 minutes of your last smoke your body began a series of changes that will continue for years (these stats are from the Centers for Disease Control).
20 minutes after quitting your heart rate dropped.
12 hours after quitting your carbon monoxide level in your blood dropped to normal
Keep up the good work and your next milestone will be
2 to 3 months after quitting your heart attack risk begins to drop and your lung function begins to improve.
And there's more:
1 to 9 months after quitting coughing and shortness of breath decrease
1 year after quitting your added risk of coronary heart disease is half that of a smoker's.
There's more, but I'll stop for now.
Re the cravings:
Try the 4-Ds (1) Delay - wait a few minutes (2) Deep breathing - take 4 deep breaths (3) Drink cold water or juice (the carbohydrate energy in juice helps replace nicotine's stimulating effect) (4) Do something else.
Waving my pom poms and cheering all of you on .... you can do it!
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Hi Dutchy,
I am so sorry to hear that you had such a rough night. Hopefully you made it through and last night was better for you!
I would think that you may have been nervous about the audit (is this the one that you have been preparing for since you first decided to quit?) and that may have made it so you couldn't sleep and then because you were tired and maybe a bit hungry that all those thing combined together to produce what sounds like a whopper of a craving. Remember early on in your quit your brain physically can't tell the difference between tired, hungry and want to smoke. They all are triggered in the same part of the brain. Funny how only 2 of those things are needed for survival but that third one sneakily hides in there too.
I know I used cigarettes to 'put myself to bed' and it was kind of tough in the beginning. Also sometimes when I would wake up in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep cigarettes helped me to go back to sleep. That has gotten better with time. I still wake up quite a bit during the night from the "tamoxifen night sweats" but am able to go back to sleep on my own.
As far as weight gain.... I would take it easy on yourself right now and eat when you need to. I did find I was way hungrier in the beginning than I was when I smoked. I allowed myself to eat whatever/whenever I wanted, within reason, for the first couple of weeks or so. Then after that I would eat whenever I needed to but, it had to be healthy food. I munched on quite a few carrots and lots of cauliflower, broccoli, etc and did allow myself a small bit of low-cal dip. I am trying to keep up with the additional vegetables in my diet even now. I have gained only 3 pounds since quitting and I think that's because I haven't been keeping up with the treadmill like I should. I was being really good because that's what I would do in the afternoon when my cravings were pretty bad but, as that has gotten better I haven't been as faithful in my exercise. Have to get better about that!
I really hope that you made it through the night and that last night was better for you!
I am a bit jealous though! You are waiting for the weather to turn nicer where you are and it's in the 80's!! Here it's in the 60's and we're basically dancing in the streets because it is soooooo nice out!
Hang in there!
Jennifer
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GML,
Congrats on your 5 years - 4 years and 357 days.. lol. Glad to hear that you are hanging in there. I have heard that the gum works pretty well. I did the cold turkey thing but, was fully willing to do whatever it took if that didn't work out! Had my coupons for the gum and a prescription for Chantix if I needed to go that route. Jancie's doing the Chantix and seems to have good luck with that. You do what works best for you!
The thing you mentioned about the taxes in NY is a sore point for me. I have said for years that the smokers have become the easy mark to raise money any time the state needs to. They can jack up the taxes on cigarettes and no one says a word! They even went so far as to propose that cigarettes should not be sold in grocery stores because they are unhealthy. What??!? What about all the other junk they sell in there?
You are right. Did you notice the uproar over the sugar tax and how fast that was shot down!? I don't think they are done with it yet. I have noticed way more commercials about the number 1 disease in the country right now.... Diabetes. They are definitely trying to set the stage for popular support for the tax. The thing they don't realize is you can't tax people into or out of certain behaviors. That reasoning is just an excuse for an easy way for them to collect money without actually fixing the budget!
Whew... OK... Done with my rant now!
Hope you're enjoying the good weather and that your day is a good one.
Jennifer
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Jancie,
Where are you??? Hope you're doing well!
Thought of you yesterday. My poor husband went for his annual physical. He's turning 50 in a couple of weeks. He got his prescription for a colonoscopy!!!
He definitely needs to discuss with the doctor how the actual procedure will be done.
Hope your day is good!
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Seaside - haven't even read all of the responses from the last 2 days. I am having to clean out that freaking storage room so we can convert it into a bedroom and I am so overwhelmed with the task. I found documents back to 1998 when I lived in Texas and before I married dh which were mostly legal documents but no longer pertinent so I shredded documents for over 2 hours and still have so much more to do.
Not smoking - wanting one REALLY REALLY BAD!!! I can't believe the cravings! In reality, starting to tick me off really good that I still want those smokes so bad.
Later on tonight I will catch up and read up on what has been going on with everyone!
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Dutchy - hang in there GF. I know it is hard. I had cravings all day long. Don't understand why - just did but I got through it without beating anyone up. However, when little miss drama queen Jazzy (my horse) decided that she didn't want to be ridden and started acting up really bad today, I remained calm even though at any time I could have hit the dirt hard! Funny thing is that I am not taking out my anger/frustration/dieing for a smoke on my horse but boy does my dh get an earful!
Judy1992 - Great tips that I am surely going to use!! Love the 4 (d's). What is really weird is that I smoked for 30 years - about 10-12 smokes a day. Never once did I get smokers cough and even when I was so sick with bronchitus I still smoked. My lungs never had that raspy sound that the doctors look for and my heart checked out clean as a whistle.
I did notice today - I was at Home Depot and got out of the van and someone was smoking in the vicinity of maybe 5' from me - I didn't like the smell at all. In fact it smelled really rank to me.
I also had a contractor come by and give me a bid for some remodel work, the painter was a heavy smoker - he stank so bad of cigarette smoke. All I could think of - "I must have really smelled bad myself" yet nobody ever said anything to me about it all of those years.
Another night - I am not gaining weight, not losing the 30 lbs I gained during chemo either so I am very frustrated.
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Jancie, I am so afraid of gaining the weight I lost this past year and have used food to get through these first 7 days. Not all of the time but there were a few times I got ice cream and cinnamon rolls which I know are not on my diet and which I had to go to the store to get because I do not keep sweets in the house. I am going to start walking tonight with my neighbor and that should help. My son did not quit smoking with me but he has taken the smoking outside without any hesitation.
Seaside, how are things going with you? How much time do you have now? Jancie how much time do you have. Hey I was told about these two sites that sound pretty good. One is quitmeter.com and it tells you how much money you have saved by not smoking and the other one is whyquit.com. Talk with ya all soon, Evelyn
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Hi Dutchy!
I am so happy to see your post! I was worried that Wednesday night may have gotten to be too much. Really glad to hear that you made it through! You have reached 1 WEEK!!!! I hope that you did (or will do) something, no matter how small, to celebrate! You deserve it!!!
I'm at 8 1/2 weeks right now. I think I'm about a month ahead of Jancie and she is about a month or so ahead of you and GML. Then Judy1992, mattzie and o2bhealthy are way ahead of us all. Good to have people at different stages because sometimes you forget what was going on a month or two ago or don't know what to expect in the days to come. Gives you a different perspective on things.
Walking will be a big help. Especially walking with someone else. The walk makes you feel better (well it does for me anyway) and the other person keeps you motivated to continue!
Heads up that the weekend may have some bumps in it that you may not be expecting. It will be your first weekend since stopping smoking where you weren't sick. If those rough patches come, ride them out and know it will get better and that we will be here for you.
Thanks for the recommendation on the websites! I will have to check them out.
Jancie,
I know what you mean about not really having felt bad when I was smoking. A lot of people ask "so... is your breathing, cough, sense of taste, etc better now that you've quit smoking" and I basically say I didn't have any problem with any of that when I smoked so I guess I don't know...
The one thing I have noticed is my sense of smell has dramatically improved especially when it comes to smoke. My poor son used to come home from visiting other people's homes (when I smoked inside) and be upset that his friends and their parents thought he smoked but he has never smoked a day in his life. It was my smoke.
Anyway, tonight we're going out to a bar to watch the basketball tournament with a bunch of people. Guess I should say my husband will be watching, I will be socializing! There are a few people in the group who smoke so it should be interesting. Alcohol and cigarettes could equal trouble. If it gets to be too much, I will just leave.
Have a great night ladies! Talk to you soon!
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Seaside - don't even get me started on smokes and alcohol - they go hand in hand just like having your morning cup of coffee and a smoke. I actually quit drinking - no biggie for me as I have always just been a social drinker and there are times I don't even have a drink for over 6 months. Wish it were that easy to quit smoking!
Dutchy - you hang in there! I know you can do this. If you break down - don't worry - we are still here for you. Figure you broke down and now you just need to pick yourself back up again. I had a smoke at day 17. Didn't taste good at all but it was that or have a total mental meltdown. Sure I was ticked at myself but figured - ok.....tomorrow is another day and I am going to just forget that ever happened. I am at a month now but personally I don't trust myself to not start up again.
I would so love to go walking tonight but I cleaned a house for 4 hours straight and besides it is snowing outside and I have been invited to play cards with some girlfriends tonight. So instead of hitting the gym, I am going to go play cards. I figure 4 hours of hard work - lots of mopping, etc. and breaking out in a sweat more than 3 times to where my short hair got really curly - well that was good enough for me for one day.
Tomorrow I will ride my horse and that alone is a great work out since she is such a brat. Just trying to stay on her is a work out
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Hi All:
I'm new to this thread...but not new to this site. I'm ashamed to admit that I continued to smoke through 6 months of chemo even though my Onc. told me that chemo would make me sick enough to quit! I asked for chantix but he wouldn't prescribe it because he said he didn't know how it would react with the chemo (TCH). Apparently the chemo did not make me sick enough to quit! I now have surgery ahead of me but it will probably be in a few months given the fact that I just finished chemo and haven't even met with a surgeon yet. My dilemma is that I have 2 cigarettes left in a pack and I know I need to quit....especially if I want reconstruction. I purchased the e-cigarette but I really don't like it...I got the low mg nicotine cartridges for it but I'm thinking of buying the no nicotine cartridges and using that along with the nicorette gum until I can taper off the gum. Or maybe I'll try the cold turkey method. I've been smoking for nearly 25 years and I don't even smoke an entire pack...unless I get really stressed out at work. So anyway....I'm on this thread now and hoping to gain some inspiration from those of you that have managed to quit.
Dutchy: I like your saying "Have a cigarette then no boobies!!!" I think I'll keep telling myself that.
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Hi All,
In case you haven't heard it lately, you all are incredible! Your willingness to share your experience is one of the best gifts you can give to one another... while each story is different, there is a common thread, and I hope as you see that you are not alone in your efforts or your thoughts or the different things you are doing to stay quit or trying again to be tobacco free keeps you motivated. I promise that you will reach a point where the cravings stop - can I tell you when? Nope .... each of us is different. I can only tell you it most definitely gets better, and that there will come a day when a smoke isn't even in your thoughts! I remember mentioning in the thread that there is a change in your mindset and was trying to come up with a way to describe it for you ... not sure if this will make sense, but hope you will give it a try .... take a deep breath and think about all the things you have been through with your bc journey - that fear of the unknown, that dreaded test - the rollercoaster rides waiting for results, the fatigue of chemo or radiation, the blues that can come with a low blood count ... now think about what you did to get through any or all of those situations .... then try shifting some of that amazing strength that comes to each of us when we need it (no, I don't know exactly where that comes from either, I just know it does) and use that mindset on getting rid of the smokes forever! Go get 'em!! I've got your backs!
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NoSunshine - My oncologist actually advised me to not try to quit during chemo as that would be a very stressful time for me. I didn't listen to him - quit and started up again within a couple of weeks. Then decided it was just not the time for me to quit.
I struggled today so many times. Then I was playing cards with a group of women - learned a new card game and that was enough for me to want a glass of wine. So I actually had 2 glasses of wine but in order to take the edge off, I also took a couple of low dosage lortabs. Let me tell you, I wanted so bad to stop on the way home and get a pack but opted to take a valium instead. I swear I am going to get hooked on prescription meds just trying to quit another addiction. Talk about a total circle jerk!
But....bottom line I didn't smoke. I still would kill for one right now but I don't have any in the house and if I leave now then my dh will be all over me as I just got home. I am hoping the valium will take the edge off pretty soon.
Being in a stressful period in your life is NOT the time to quit. You need to try to quit and set a date when things are going smoothly. Chemo is enough to stress anyone out!!
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Jancie, sounds like it was a rough night, but you did not smoke. Congratulations. Saturday I am suppose to go to a house warming/birthday party where there will be lots of drinks and cigarettes. I know it is really too early in my smoke free life to be attending a party but I can not let my friends down. I do not have to worry about drinking, as I don't anymore, because when I do, I end up throwing up..so I don't drink. I think I will let them know that I will stay as long as my gravings don't make it too difficult to stay at the party and if it gets bad then I'll let them know that there is a possiblility that I will not stay long as I can not jeapordize my quit. How does that sound??
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Hey girls! I just swung by to say hello! and to say that being nicotine-free is awesome, especially as we all have to be super-aware of our medical futures now. I say this as a person whose minute-to-minute-every-day-life ran on cigarettes for over 35 years. When I gave up (for the umpteenth time) I was certain of two things:1) if I failed (again) I would smoke FOREVER and 2) IF I smoked I would experience a crap existence, suffer astonishingly and then die prematurely. Years and years ago a woman said to me, "Stop stressing. You will quit when it means something to you." At the time I thought that was bullshit. I thought logic and education and 'better judgement' prevailed. But she was right..after 35 years of mindlessly bargaining with myself, I simply decided to smoke or not smoke. I decided to not smoke. Three years later, smoking is not part of my consciousness. I find that an absolute miracle after 35 years of addiction but I can tell you it is real. I was ready. It meant something. Of course..it REALLY meant something when I was diagnosed with bc..I have done so much better as a non-smoker and there are bonuses to do with diabetes, stomach-cancer blah blah blah. The miracle for me is that I ended my relationship with cigarettes. (Interestingly, I stopped watching tv at the exact same time). You girls can do it..jeebus! you have the perfect reason to 'end the relationship'. I have faith in you! and you will be as astonished as I am
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