Stop Smoking Support Thread

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  • SeasideMemories
    SeasideMemories Member Posts: 2,462
    edited March 2010

    Hi Dutchy,

    Your plan for today sounds like a good one.  If it gets to be too much then you will leave.  I'm sure your friends will understand.  That's what I said about going out last night.  There were people smoking at the bar (well, outside actually, can't smoke in bars in NY) and it really didn't bother me other than a couple twinges where I wished I could have one.  Just told myself it would not taste the same as it did before I quit and the only way for it to taste good again would be to smoke till I got hooked again.  Not going to do that!

    It is early in your quit but, not too early to get out there and do the things you like to do.  I know one thing I read is to go ahead and live your life just like you did when you were smoking and that if you start not doing things because you've quit smoking then you will REALLY feel like you are making a sacrifice and quitting becomes even more painful.  Not sure if I worded that very well but, hopefully, you know what I mean.

    That being said, I know I was worried about how I would do around my brother and his wife (both smoke) when I first quit so I did avoid getting together with them for awhile so I guess I didn't really practice what I'm preaching. 

    The key is do what works for you and only what you think YOU can handle.  Right now it's about you and protecting your quit that you have worked so very hard for. 

    I hope you go and have a great time! 

    Let us know how it goes.

    Jennifer

  • SeasideMemories
    SeasideMemories Member Posts: 2,462
    edited March 2010

    Judy1992 and Kerry_Lamb,

    Thanks for the encouragement!  It is great to hear from people who have been smoke free and are further down the road and doing WELL!  In the beginning you kind of go on faith that what people are telling you is true and it will get better.  Then you see that it does get better but you still have cravings.  Glad to hear that it is true and down the road even those will go away.  

    Kerry_Lamb,  your name caught my eye.  My maiden name was Lamb!

  • SeasideMemories
    SeasideMemories Member Posts: 2,462
    edited March 2010

    Hi There and Welcome NoSunshine,

    Congratulations on finishing your chemo.  Please don't feel ashamed that you continued to smoke during chemo.  I can't think of a single thing that would have come between me and my  cigarettes.  I even asked to be released early from the hospital after having my son because you couldn't smoke in the hospital!  What's important is that you want to quit now!

    You mentioned that your surgery is still to come.  Do you know yet what type of surgery you will be having and whether or not you will need radiation (hopefully not too personal of a question)? 

     The reason I ask is that if you are looking to have reconstruction, especially any of the surgeries that involve vascular micro-surgery like DIEP, most doctors will require that you be not just smoke free but nicotine free for a period of time before and after surgery.  That may influence which method that you choose depending on quickly you need to quit.  DIEP is what Dutchy is getting ready for.

    If you have more time, then any of the methods you have mentioned are an option and you have more time to choose a quit date that feels right to you and that would give you the best chance for success.  I had a lumpectomy with radiation and when I mentioned to the radiation oncologist that I was thinking about quitting he pretty much told me not till your done with radiation.  They don't want any major changes that would result in weight gain or loss because that messes up their carefully plotted out measurements. 

    Would your doctor consider Chantix now that your chemo is done?  Jancie's doing that and it has been working for her.  Since that has no nicotine I would think that would be OK even if you were to have DIEP.  Dutchy would know more about that than I do.  GML is doing the gum and last I heard was doing well.

    Anyway, the point is there are a lot of variables that will come into play with your decision but, we will be here to support you when you are ready!!!

    Hope to hear more from you soon!

  • SeasideMemories
    SeasideMemories Member Posts: 2,462
    edited March 2010

    Jancie,

    Hope you're out riding Jazzy and that she isn't giving you too many problems!!  What did I see in your last post... It was snowing???!!  It's been downright gorgeous in the Northeast this past week.  Hope you guys keep that stuff out west!

    Sounds like you hit a tough patch last night.  I did find that the first couple of times I drank after quitting the urge to smoke hit me like a ton of bricks.  I can drink without it being bad now.  I was more worried about being around people who were smoking when my guard was down.  But even that wasn't too bad last night. 

    I'm so glad that you did not give in!!!  

    Did you finish getting your storage room cleaned out?  Sounds like that was a tough job.

    Jennifer

  • NoSunshine
    NoSunshine Member Posts: 66
    edited March 2010

    Hi Janice:  Thanks for telling me that you Dr. also suggested not to quit...that made me feel a bit better.  I struggled with that last cigarette last night and then went to the store and bought 2 more packs...WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME..I HAVE CANCER FOR PETE'S SAKE!!! That alone should be my incentive but for some reason it's not.  Maybe I'll try the valuim as well...I have a whole bottle in the medicine cabinet...but I'm like you...I don't won't to get addicted to pills either.

    Thanks for the welcome Seaside Memoriesand thanks for the advice about surgery.  I plan to have a bmx with immediate reconstruction however I have lost about 25lbs. on the chemo. I am 5'8" and weigh about 115 right now so I have no excess fat to make new boobs out of.  I'm afraid that implants will be the only option that I have and my Onc. said even with the bmx I will still need 5 weeks of radiation...this never ends!!  I'm thinking of asking to do the radiation first (don't know if that is possible or not) and then having the surgery.  My tumors (2 in left breast) were ER-/PR- and HER+ so I will be getting herceptin infusions for the next 2 years according to my onc. I think I'm in denial right now and don't want to make a decision about radiation or surgery at the moment....so quitting smoking is going to be difficult for me but it's got to be done.  I'm glad this thread is here to help support all of us dealing with this. 

  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 47,698
    edited March 2010

    Hi ladies, I was just scrolling around and saw your thread. I don't know if any of you would be interested in this program, it is pretty hard core and definitely not for everyone; but a friend of mine who HAD to quit smoking after a heart attack (his doctor said, "Quit smoking or die.") swears by www.WhyQuit.com It is an on-line motivation, education and support group for people interested in quitting cold turkey. It worked for him, and it might be worth checking out. Best of Luck! Ruth

  • Dutchy
    Dutchy Member Posts: 172
    edited March 2010

    Monday is day 10 and I am doing much better than I thought possible.  I went to my friend's birthday party and had a great time.  I almost would of had a cigarette but none of my friends would give me one...now that is what I call friends.  By the time I go to see the plastic surgeon I will have 29 days...one day at a time. 

    I had my interview for the Medicaid Waiver Audit, federal agency, and did pretty well and glad that is over.  Stress for nothing.  Jury duty is calling but I do not have to go in on Monday...hopefully it will be like that all week long.  It is not a good time to have jury duty because there is too much case coverage at work.

  • SeasideMemories
    SeasideMemories Member Posts: 2,462
    edited March 2010

    Ruth,

    Thanks for checking in and for the web site.  I'll have to check it out! 

  • GML
    GML Member Posts: 46
    edited March 2010

    I was also told that quitting smoking wasn't a priority while undergoing chemo....by a couple of doctors actually.  My oncologist even wrote an order allowing me to go outside and smoke when I was admitted for my last chemo treatment.  But, that same doctor was adamant about me not smoking on the Tamoxifen...she said the combination of the port, the meds, and the smoking would put me at really high risk for a blood clot.  This has frightened me enough to stop and it's been, I don't know...about 12 days since I quit.  I still have those crazy smoker's thoughts ("How bad could a blood clot really be?"  lol) but I haven't smoked.  The gum has been very very effective for me during this but I have to admit I miss smoking terribly.  I enjoyed it a lot. But, also glad I'm free of blood clots thus far....feel like I'm gaining weight and I quit for two months before and did not gain weight so am blaming the Tamoxifen.  May sound vain but that will be a deal crusher for me....if it's going to make me gain weight than I'll discontinue it and take my chances.  I'm waiting to see what happens when I go back to work.

    In any event....glad to see you all here....glad for the safe place to talk about smoking frankly without fear of judgement.....glad for those who are being successful and wishing strength to those that are trying to quit or thinking about quitting.

  • jancie
    jancie Member Posts: 403
    edited March 2010

    GML - my oncologist didn't say anything about blood clots while on Tamoxifen.  He did say he didn't want me taking chantix while I was on Tamoxifen - I guess it was for that reason.  Obviously I have totally ignored him because I am on both right now.  I plan to take the chantix for another 30 days and then I should be ok.  I have forgotten to take it a couple of mornings this past week and wasn't experiencing any physical cravings - just those darn emotional cravings.

    I know I couldn't get through this without valium.  I get stressed out and worried too easily and that is what drove me to smoke for so many years.  The valium keeps me calm and takes away the jitters when I really want to smoke.  I figured so what if I get hooked on it - it won't kill me since I won't take too much at one time.

    On the other hand you would think my oncologist wants me addicted to pain pills.  I have a prescription for 120 lortabs with 3 refills!  This is the second time he has given me this amount on a prescription!  I guess if I was a druggie it would be dangerous but I have such a high tolerance for drugs that I would have to take at least 5 of them to even feel drugged out.

    Dutchy - Day 10 - WOOOOHOOOOOOOOO  - that is great!!  Don't kill me - don't  hit me but it does get a little bit better as time goes on.  Right now you are in a very critical phase of your quiting.  Once you get to 3 weeks it seems to get a little bit easier.  At Day 10 I was ready to kill anyone that got in my way.  I counted and I have been sober for 35 days :)

    Seaside Memories - Another 10 hours of working in that storage room today and I have about 1 hour left.  However, my office is totally trashed as I was not careful putting the shredded documents into plastic bags so I have all of these tiny 4" long pieces of paper ALL over my carpet in my office.  I filled up around 8 trash bags of shredded documents.  Contractors show up on Monday so I now have to think about where I am going to store the living room furniture.  The two couches will stay as they are on rollers and easy to move around.  But everything else needs to be cleared out of there.  Honestly, it probably has been a good thing that I have been too busy to even think about smoking.

    NoSunshine - that weight loss is not fair!!!  I was so fit with no body fat at all - a total lean machine until I did chemo and then the steroids put 20 lbs on me.  Then I started on Tamoxifen and there I gained another 10 lbs.  Originally when I got diagnosed, doing any type of body flap reconstruction was out of the question since I didn't have anyplace they could take fat from.  Now I don't have that problem.  I haven't gained any more weight by not smoking so I am happy with that but I am 30 lbs overweight and that is a lot for someone that is only 5' tall.

    Oh and I got the "you got cancer and you are STILL SMOKING" crap from my dh.  I looked at him and said "what is smoking going to do - give me cancer?  I already have cancer! and smoking or not smoking doesn't relate to BC to begin with.  Smoking didn't cause me to get BC!!!

    I quit when I was ready to quit for ME.  I tried to do it for my dh for so many years and then as soon as he pissed me off I would go out and get a pack of smokes.  yes, very childish and very rebellious but I was going to "show him" so to speak even if it hurt me in the process.  LOL

    Now my dh is not even a factor.  He can piss me off all he wants and I still won't smoke because I won't give him the satisfaction of ruining what I have worked so hard to gain.  

    Ruth - thanks for the website.  I tried 6 times to quit cold turkey - just couldn't do it.  I swear by Chantix.  I can't tell you how much money I have spent on the gum, patches, hypnosis, etc. and I have never been able to quit until I got on the Chantix.  I couldn't handle the physical withdrawals along with the emotional withdrawals at the same time, it was too much for me.  Now I just have to concentrate on the emotional addiction.

    Gals - I will be on here and there but not consistently for the next three weeks but promise to check in and give quick updates when I can.

    I guess Janzin came and left again - where are youi????

  • Dutchy
    Dutchy Member Posts: 172
    edited March 2010

    Jancie, congratulations on your 35 days.  That is fantastic. 

    A little bit ago I found a cigarette left in the living room from my son and I could not resist it.  I had 4 puffs and it did not taste good so I stuck it under the water (so I could not smoke it later) and threw it away.  I will have to ask my son to be more careful with leaving his cigarettes around the house.  I know it was not mine to smoke but it was there and I could not resist.  Nothing was even triggering my desire except it was there. 

    GML, I like this thread too because it is safe and the ladies understand our addiction and are non-judgemental.  Hey have any of you ladies gone to quitmeter.com?  It tells you how much money you have saved by not smoking anymore.  It is pretty cool.  Evelyn

  • SeasideMemories
    SeasideMemories Member Posts: 2,462
    edited March 2010

    Oh Dutchy, I'm going to tell you the same thing I told Jancie when she had her "moment" at around the same time as you (I think it was somewhere in that 2 week out range), you had one mess up.  Time to pick yourself up, brush yourself off and KEEP GOING!  That mistake is over and done with just don't repeat it.  You do NOT want to have to go through that physical withdrawal again.

    Most likely what happened is that the party that you went to on Saturday got your mind, at least sub-conciously, wondering what smoking one would be like now but, you didn't do it.  Then when you saw one just kinda sitting there, the temptation was just too great. Glad to hear you didn't smoke the whole thing.

    I know I wondered in my head early on if I happened to find a cigarette laying around would I smoke it if no one would know.  In the beginning I'm afraid my answer was "Hell, yeah"  but now I know I wouldn't.

    Jancie is right. These first 3 weeks are the hardest but also the most critical time.  I knew that was the case for me and it seems to be holding true for our "little group" so far.  

    You hang in there!!! You have your appointment coming up for your consult that you fought soooo hard to get.

    I did look at the quit meter thing and I can't believe the numbers!  It says I have not smoked 1200 cigarettes and saved over $500.00.  Gotta get to work spending some of those saving... lol!!

    Jennifer

  • SeasideMemories
    SeasideMemories Member Posts: 2,462
    edited March 2010

    GML,

    LOL.  How bad could a blood clot be?  I remember thinking along those same lines where basically, nothing could suck worse than this!  That got better with time.  My doctor did say that the blood clot risk is serious but not a common side affect.  I just figured that I had already "spun the wheel" and lost by getting cancer to begin with so I wasn't feeling terribly lucky healthwise.

    Keep chewing the gum and hang in there!

    Jancie,

    Day 35 AND you didn't know the number off the top of your head and had to count!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  You go, girl!!!! 

    Sounds like you've been working your butt off but that a remodel at your house is coming up?  That sounds very exciting!!  We just got a chandelier for our dining room last week and THAT was exciting for me.  That's my not smoking savings at work!

    Let us know how things are going and how you are doing when you can.

  • jancie
    jancie Member Posts: 403
    edited March 2010

    I swear my dh wants me to fail at this non-smoking thing.  He KNOWS darn well that stress causes me to want to smoke.

    Guess what the jerk did today?  He sat there and accused me of hiding 2 letters from his daughter from him.  I was shocked!  First off I would never "hide" letters if I wanted to keep them away from his daughter, I would throw them in the trash.  Second off I wouldn't set myself for him to come to me and say "hey....my daughter was asking if I received a letter but I never got one" - hello.....do you really think I am that stupid.  I am LIVID.  What is odd is that he won't tell me "where" he found them - only that he found them.  If you saw his office desk, it is 4" deep with paperwork and envelopes just piled on it.  I am not exaggerating.  I don't even typically check the mail and when I do, I set his stuff on his CHAIR so he can see it, not on top of his desk.

    I cooked dinner, he refuses to eat dinner.  Why did I bother?  I totally lost my appetite.  I am doing everything to not cry right now and break down.  I need to take some trash to a neighbors house from all of the junk we are getting rid of but I know if I get in my car right now, I will head to Walgrens and get a pack instead.

    This just really sucks.  The one thing he bitched about to me for years - I took that fight away and now he is trying to find some way else to hurt me, all because I don't love his daughter.  Too bad....so sad......have someone falsely accuse you of physically harming them, calling the police, etc. and then I am supposed to love her when I never ever touched her and I was the one that was being attacked?  I don't hate her - I just don't have any feelings towards her - it is like she doesn't exist as far as I am concerned.  The only good news is that she turned 18 today and we are no longer legally liable for her but thanks to Obama we still have to pay health insurance for her.

  • sslepski
    sslepski Member Posts: 6
    edited March 2010

    Hi ladies.  I saw this forum and had to investigate!

    I have been a smoker since age 16 and am now 47.  Since my dx, I have cut down DRAMATICALLY, but still smoke.  I will also be starting chemo shortly.  I'm just glad you all are here and understand how difficult it is to quit.  I tried quitting twice before with disastrous results - I went into a deep depression both times and frankly don't want to go there again.  I have bipolar disorder which is very stable right now and chemo AND not smoking might put me "in the basement." Yikes.  Also, my psychiatrist does NOT recommend Chantix because of my bipolar dx.

    I have my first visit with the oncologist tomorrow.  Good times!  OK 'nuff with the tude ha ha.

    =======~~~~~~ <-------- cigarette  

  • SeasideMemories
    SeasideMemories Member Posts: 2,462
    edited March 2010

    Jancie,

    I don't normally check the boards this late but something must have led me here. 

    First of all....  Sending you a HUGE hug right now!!!  Deep Breaths!

    You are really in a tough situation right now!  i know that you said this particular child has caused you a great amount of grief in the past and sounds like she is at it again.  DO NOT LET HER BREAK YOUR SPIRIT AND ALL OF YOUR WORK FOR THIS PAST MONTH!

    The situation with your husband will pass and the troubles that you are having will be there if you smoke or not.  The only thing that you will be doing by smoking is adding to your troubles.  I think you are in the place that I was a couple of weeks ago when I fought with my son and actually drove to the store to buy cigarettes thinking I'll show him... I'm going to start smoking again!!.  I sat in  the parking lot, cried for a bit and made the decision that the ONLY person I would be punishing by buying them would be ME!  Didn't do it and I hope you won't either.

    Also, you are really in a danger zone right now as far as smoking again.  I am sure you are very tired after all of the cleaning that you have been doing for the last couple of days in addition to being angry.  Maybe, if you can, try to sleep on it and think about it with a fresh outlook tomorrow.  I guess decide to not make any decisions on returning to smoking until morning.

    Keeping you in my prayers tonight!  Let us know how things go.  We are here for you!

  • o2bhealthy
    o2bhealthy Member Posts: 1,089
    edited March 2010

    Janice - Seaside said it best,'the only person you would be hurting is you!'  I have being keeping up on this thread and I know you choose to quit this time for YOU not your dh, not your doctors, just YOU!  You have made incredible progress through some very trying times and have still persevered.  I just want to let you know you are in my prayers. ((((((HUGS))))))

    Seaside - I just want to acknowledge what a terrific gift you offer to this thread with your support and encouragement! 

    sslepski - Welcome!  There is a terrific group of women here who you can turn to for support.

    Dutchy - thanks for the link to the quitmeter is was surprised to see that I have been a non-smoker for  46 weeks, 15 hours, 19 minutes, 18 seconds and have saved $2,621.12... WOW!  That really puts this accomplishment into perspective.

    GML, nosunshine and anyone else I missed...Blessing and Hugs to ALL!

  • jancie
    jancie Member Posts: 403
    edited March 2010

    It is 2:30 am and I can't sleep.  Just thought I would give an update on these "letters" that I supposedly opened and hid from him.

    They were dated back to 2001 and 2002 when the child was only 8 years old - still innocent, we had a great relationship back then - it wasn't until 2004 that she turned on me so fast due to the encouragement of her mother.

    These letters were found stashed in a far corner of the storage room on one of the two shelves I had asked him to clear of his computer parts.  Who in their right mind would do this?  Don't you think the trash bin would have been a better idea.  This was even before we got custody of them and I was staying up to 2 am many mornings working on legal documents to help him get custody of his children because their mother was a crack addict.

    I was accused and offended and came as close to having a mental breakdown.  I was hyperventillating because I couldn't convince him that I had absolutely NOTHING to do with this and he thought I was lying to him.  My own husband accusing me of lying to him and also being evil at the same time.  I looked at him wondering what kind of guy did I marry.

    I about checked myself into a psych hospital for a 48 hour suicide watch.  That is how bad it got last night.  I finally dragged myself upstairs after hysterically crying for over an hour and went to bed and gave him all of my pills that were dangerous narcotics if you take too many of them.  I gave him the Ambien, Valium and Lortabs and told him to keep them in a safe place for the night.

    He did finally apologize and he finally figured out it was his evil sister-in law that did this.  She visited us twice before the kids showed up permanently and he did catch her in his office snooping around.  What we didn't know back then was that she was trying to get as much information out of us as possible as far as the court hearings, etc. and she was passing this information back to the biological mother and giving her the heads up of every step we were taking to get custody.  That information didn't come to light until 2007.  I have no doubt that his SIL encouraged Brat to write him letters while she was here and since we were both working, she was the one checking the mail.  She purposely put them in a spot to where NOBODY would find them until the room got remodeled or emptied out.  She has been determined to destroy both dh and I - our marriage, etc. and she did a fine job at it when all of this came out in the open tonight.

    However, I am still so upset with him.  Apology - well that was sincere and humble on his part.  But the fact that he would believe I was such an evil person and a liar - I can't get over that so easily.

    Hysterically I was telling him that I would swear to Jehovah an all of the elders at the congregation, I had nothing to do with these letters.  There were 4 of them all together and one was even steamed open.  I don't even know how to steam a letter open - never tried it in my life because it is the wrong thing to do to begin with.

    I am now beyond physical and mental exhaustion.  I want to curl up in bed all day tomorrow but I have a vet appointment since my border terrier had a seizure today and I also need to go to a tile company tomorrow and pick out some travertine.  

    And as much as I wanted to smoke - I didn't.  I didn't get through 36 days to have him bitch at me because of my smoking but seriously I was so worried that if I have to go through stressful times like this over and over again, my cancer will come back that is if I don't end up in the nut house.

  • SeasideMemories
    SeasideMemories Member Posts: 2,462
    edited March 2010

    Jancie,

    I am really sorry that you have had to go through all of this.  It totally sucks that you were accused of doing something that you didn't do.  I'm sure that hurt you very deeply!  I do know that sometimes people say things in the heat of the moment that they really don't mean. I'm thinking that may have been what happened with your husband. 

    Your situation is similar to the argument that I had recently had with my son where we both said some pretty ugly things.  He apologized first and I told him that I FORGIVE  him but it will take a bit of time before I can FORGET what was said.  He, I think feels the same way.  Things have improved over the last week or two and I hope that things on your end will too!

    As far as stress.... That is one I have wrestled with my whole life.  The only advice I can offer there is to cut out any of the easy stuff that you can to reduce the stresses that you have.  And for the rest of it, you can't control that it's in your life but you CAN control, to some extent, the reaction that you have to it.  This is still a work in progress for me!  I do know that I read a quote today on these boards today that stressed spelled backwards is desserts!  I kinda liked that one!

    I hope that today was a better day for you than yesterday and that you were able to find some rest and peace!  Hope all is well with your dog, too.  I have an Akita who was by my side through being laid off from work and the whole time I was going through my treatments!  She is my baby!

    Let us know how things are going.  Thinking of you!

    I am also glad to hear that you didn't smoke last night and I pray that the same is true for today!  You have come SO far and I hope that you continue!!!  You are worth it!!

    On the up side, I had an appointment yesterday with my GP for a check-up.  My blood pressure in the office was normal!!! It is never normal in the office because I am so nervous.  In fact it is usually so high that I have to bring my own numbers from home in so he can see what my numbers really are and not call an ambulance... lol.  I guess there is something to this quit smoking thing!

    Jennifer

  • SeasideMemories
    SeasideMemories Member Posts: 2,462
    edited March 2010

    Welcome sslepski,

    I hope that your meeting with your oncologist went well!

    I also started smoking around age 16 and am now 47.  Cutting down was also how I started to quit!  Quitting is definitely not easy but it CAN be done.  

    I did not have to do chemo but I know some of the girls on this thread that did do the chemo have said that while you are doing chemo might not be the best time to try to quit.  You have to find the right time for YOU.

    We will be here to support you when you are ready!

  • SeasideMemories
    SeasideMemories Member Posts: 2,462
    edited March 2010

    Dutchy,

    Ok.... I am officially worried about you!!! I hope that all is going well and that your slip-up on Monday was just that... a slip-up.!!!!  We Will be here for you no matter what!

    Let us know how you are doing!  You are in my thoughts and prayers! 

  • Dutchy
    Dutchy Member Posts: 172
    edited March 2010

    Seaside, Good to hear your bIood pressure is good for once at the doctors.  I know what you mean.  The last time I was in the doctor's office, she wanted to put me on medicine and I told her it was because I just had a cigarette.  I am doing well.  I just thought I'd give the board a break from me as things are going pretty good.But now that I think about it, that is also when we need to be on the board to let others know that it does get better and being a non-smoker can be good.  I can not believe how little I am thinking about smoking.  Perhaps that is because I know it is no longer an option...not if I want my boobs back and also for my health, which is feeling much better.  I have been walking 2-3 miles a day and that should help keep the weight off or at least I hope so.

    Jancie, I am sorry to hear about you and your dh.  I am proud that you did not smoke!!!  Not sure how I would have handled all of that.  You did well.

  • jancie
    jancie Member Posts: 403
    edited March 2010

    Dutchy - glad to see you back.   You do think about it less as each day passes.  Isn't that great!

    Susan - welcome to the thread!  I can't wrap my fingers around your user name - my brain isn't that functional still from the chemo.  If you go to www.drugs.com you will see a box on the home page that says "drug interaction checker" and then you can check to see what medications interact in a negative way with your bi-polar medication.  Since there are a number of bi-polar meds available, could be possible for you to change your medication for awhile?  I know psychiatrists tend to have their favorite meds to prescribe even though there are alternatives.  However, trying to quit during chemo I think would just be too much for you to handle.  I tried, it didn't work.  I have smoked for 30 years - since I was 16 years/17 years old on a daily basis anywhere from 10 to 15 cigarettes a day so believe me I was totally addicted.

    I waited until I completed ALL of my treatments and then a couple more months after that as I was going to San Francisco to see an old GF from 36 years ago and I knew we would be staying up drinking wine and she smoked so I figured no sense in even trying to quit before I got back from that trip because I KNEW I would smoke during those 10 days I spent with her.

    I quit trying to please everyone.  I quit being ashamed for not making it through and starting up again and I would have to say THIS THREAD is what has helped me more than anything.

    Talking about not smoking versus smoking doesn't make me want to have a cigarette.  However, I feel comfortable enough to vent my fool head off when things get tough and that gets me through the worst cravings.  Almost therapeutic in a sense to come here and tell everyone how much I want to smoke because of what happened, how stressed out I am, etc.

    I was able to see my horse for all of 30 minutes today.  Tomorrow my dh has knee surgery.  One of the contractors decided he wanted to start work on the remodel on Saturday instead of waiting until Monday.  I am 90% ready for them.  I can complete the other 10% tomorrow afternoon - that is if my dh doesn't drive me nuts with "Can you get me a glass of water, can you do this, can you do that, etc."  I know I am not the only one with a husband who becomes extremely "needy" when they get sick.  And how was it for me after my lumpectomy?  My dh came home, went out and got my drugs, and then he and his son proceeded to go to a 3 hour movie at the theatre just 2 hours after I came home from surgery.  If I pulled the same stunt on him I would never stop hearing about how I am selfish, etc.

  • Dutchy
    Dutchy Member Posts: 172
    edited March 2010

    Okay ladies I need help.  I have been a non-smoker for 2 weeks and I find myself waking up at night and fixing myself toast in replace of the cigarettes.  I use to wake up in the middle of the night-morning and have a cigarette and now it is food.  How do I break this habit cuz I do not want to gain back the 40 pounds I lost right before quitting.  My weight doctor was real sweet when I told him I quit smoking and told me to expect to gain 25 pounds...gotta prove him wrong but so far he is right.  I have gained 4 pounds.  I am walking 2-3 miles as often as possible.  If I could only sleep the whole night through I would not have this delema but I can not tell you the last time I slept a full 6-8 hours,  I have tried lunesta but that did not work and I still woke up.  Evelyn

  • Dutchy
    Dutchy Member Posts: 172
    edited March 2010

    Hi Ladies, I am having some very strong cravings and I am refusing to find a cigarette (my son has some) or eat any more toast.  I am using a straw as a substitute and it seems to be helping with getting the deep breaths in.  I just emailed my doctor and asked him for ambien.  Perhaps that will help me keep asleep.  I just took some meletonin but that was stupid because I have to get ready for work in 2 hours and oh man am I really stupid or what?  At the end of the month my stress usually increases because I have all of my month's reports due on the last day of the month.  With our high increase in number of clients I do not have time to write reports on a flow basis and now it is time to get them in.  I am in pretty good shape because all of my visits with families and schools are completed, just have all that paper work.  I long for those days when I use to be a social worker and not a paper pusher.  I am still craving that cigarette.  How long are those cravings suppose to last anyway?  I think I am getting dizzy from this straw.  LOL  Okay it is 4:30 am and still not sleepy and I think my craving is subsiding....finally.  This weekend I will be home writing these darn reports instead of enjoying the beautiful weather we are having here in California.  What is the weather like where you are at?  I will have to make sure I get my 3 mile walks in as thosse make me feel so good.  Well I hope you all have a smoke free day and if ya can not do that then enjoy your day anyway and know that you are loved no matter what.  Evelyn

  • SeasideMemories
    SeasideMemories Member Posts: 2,462
    edited March 2010

    Hi Dutchy,

    Before I read your first post, I glanced at the timestamp and thought, 'Wow, she's an early riser because it was early here and you are 3 hours behind us!

    That waking up thing in the middle of the night and not being able to go back to sleep is brutal.  I have had problems with that for the last couple of years (think it was perimenopause). And now with the Tamoxifen I get to add night sweats that wake me up to the mix!  Are we having fun yet???!

    When I was still smoking I would do like you... Get up have a cigarette and then go back to sleep can't do that now so what to do?

    Things that work for me or I have heard work for others:

    Get out of bed and move to another room until you are drowsy.  Keep it dark and boring!

    Drink a glass of milk or have some small amount of other dairy. Found this "The best bedtime snack is one that has both complex carbohydrates and protein, and perhaps some calcium. Calcium helps the brain use the tryptophan to manufacture melatonin. This explains why dairy products, which contain both tryptophan and calcium, are one of the top sleep-inducing foods."  That works most times for my husband.  Maybe a glass of skim milk to watch the calories.

    I sometimes will take an advil.  Relaxes me just enough to be able to go back to sleep.

    My husband has used MidNite.  It's an over the counter medicine that you can take in the middle of the night.  I think it has the melatonin in it.  And yes, they don't recommend taking it if you have to up in less than 3 hours.. lol and no... you're not stupid for taking it, just sleep deprived and desperate for sleep... 

    My Mom takes and swears by the ambien.  She does take it every night and even though they say it is non-habit forming when she doesn't take it she says she has problems sleeping for about 3 nights but, no biggie.

    Being awake in the middle of the night can trigger some pretty strong cravings.  You are tired, ticked off that you can't sleep and alone with your thoughts (wish I could smoke) and there is nothing to distract you.  Things do ease up in time.  You may still wake in the middle of the night but, you won't have to be sucking on a straw! 

    I did find that breathing as though I was smoking helped.  You know deep breathe in, hold for a moment and then blow out.  Looks ridiculous but, I still find myself doing that if I get hit with a bad craving.   So you were on the right track with the straw.  Just don't get too dizzy!! lol

    Another thing that sounds stupid but worked when the craving got really bad was to look around the room at each object and say (in your head is fine) "I am looking at the lamp... now I am looking at the window... now I am looking at the whatever" and really look at each thing until the urge passes.  This makes your brain focus outward rather on the mental battle going over the cigarettes.  This is along the lines of get up and go do something different than what you are doing now till the urge passes.

    As for the weight gain... I'm not sure why your doctor put that number so high.  Most of what I have read says between 4 and 10 pounds was average and most of it in the first few weeks.  I found this to be true.  I gained about 1 lb per week for about 4 weeks and then it leveled off and I have not gained anything since (4 lb total). I do remember thinking at this rate I will have gained over 50 lbs by the end of a year!!

    Here's some stuff I found that suggests the weight gain is temporary until your body adjusts.

    Smoking burns calories. Smoking elevates your heart rate and increases your metabolism; when you quit, you burn about 100 fewer calories a day. After quitting, it can take weeks or even months for your metabolism to rebound.

    • Smoking suppresses hunger. Nicotine causes the liver to release glycogen, which raises your blood-sugar level slightly and suppresses appetite. Until your metabolism adjusts, expect to gain about a pound a week.

    You are doing really great with the exercise and in the long run it will help you.  That is something I really need to get back to doing.  I was doing really well walking 45 minutes most days of the week before my diagnosis (for blood pressure and cholesterol reasons) and then fell off the wagon during treatment.  Started again when I first quit smoking to beat back some nasty late afternoon cravings and when those died down so did my exercise. I agree with you, when I do walk I feel so much better and it not only burns calories but, revs up your metabolism for hours afterward.  Course then I feel justified in having ice cream after dinner...lol

    Glad to hear that the weather is good where you are and sorry to hear about the reports (stress) that you have to do.  While the end of the month is tough, just think... your consult is just on the other side...  We enjoyed some really fabulous weather (for the northeast in March) last week.  Last night we got a small amount of snow... That's the merry-go-round of spring in the northeast.

    Sorry that you had such a rough night.  Hope tonight is MUCH better!

    Oh yeah, before I forget..... CONGRATULATIONS on 2 WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  You're doing so well!

    Jennifer

    PS. Wanted to add the link to the whole article where I got the smoking and weight gain stuff.  There are other interesting things in the article that you may want to look at.

    http://www.health.com/health/condition-article/0,,20213804_1,00.html

  • SeasideMemories
    SeasideMemories Member Posts: 2,462
    edited March 2010

    Jancie,

    Sorry that your visit with Jazzy had to be so short!!  I'm sure that she was glad to see you even if you couldn't stay long.

    Men do tend to turn into big babies when they aren't feeling well, don't they?!  I had my surgery late in the afternoon (a real pain since you can't eat after midnight the night before) so it was around 8 at night when we got home.  He was pretty good that night but, did go to work the next day.  I figured, ya know what, it's just as well.  I could sleep or do whatever I wanted without anyone bugging me!

    My husband has his colonoscopy coming up.  Can't wait to see how he handles that one!!

    Hope things are going well for you!!!  I have totally lost track of how long it's been for you.  In fact I had to go out and use the quit meter to figure out how long it has been for me!!!  I never thought I'd see the day that I didn't know EXACTLY how long it had been! Guess that's a good thing!  I'm up to 9 1/2 weeks.  I think you were just a few weeks behind me.

    CONGRATS on however long it's been!!!

    Good Luck on your remodel.  I know you said the next few weeks are going to be hectic for you but, pop in when you can!

    Jennifer

  • o2bhealthy
    o2bhealthy Member Posts: 1,089
    edited March 2010

    Dutchy - I take 5 mg Ambien nightly as sleep is too important to me to miss and I am a HUGE CRAB when sleep deprived.  It really does help and I take it just before I lay down...I am usually out like a light within 30 minutes or less.  I do occassionally wake up (hot flashes) but tend to fall right back to sleep.  I hope it works for you too!

    Blowing bubbles also mimics smoking you inhale and then slowly blow out...it is also relaxing to watch the bubbles floating in the air.

  • LVLinda
    LVLinda Member Posts: 6
    edited March 2010

    Hi Everyone!  So glad I found your group.  I'm 54 and have been smoking for 35 years.  I currently don't smoke much, and don't smoke in my house, but I still smoke!  About 1/2 pack a day.

    My oncologist did not want me to quit during chemo!  As a matter of fact, she insisted that I didn't quit!  She said it would be too much of a shock to my system.  I did 4.5 monts - 6 TAC treatments, every 3 weeks.  Now, next Tuesday, I'm having a BMX.  I'm thinking, since I have to go outside for a cig, that it might be a good time to try to quit.  I won't feel like jumping up to go out on the porch to smoke.

    I purchased some nicotine gum....do you think that will help?

    You would think Cancer, just the word, would make it easier, but it doesn't!  I thought something was wrong with me, until I read your posts.  Makes me feel better, and also gives me hope.

    Linda

  • SeasideMemories
    SeasideMemories Member Posts: 2,462
    edited March 2010

    Welcome LVLinda,

    First of all congratulations on finishing your chemo!  Looks like you did chemo before your surgery like Jancie did.  Don't attempt to quit while on chemo seems to be the consensus from the girls here who have gone through it so I think your doctor gave you good advice there.

    GML is using the nicotine gum and, last I heard she was doing well with it.  I think Jancie mentioned she tried it and it didn't do much for her.  She's on Chantix and is doing great with that.  It's all a very individual.  The great thing is, if you try something and it doesn't work for you, there are other options.  Hopefully you hit on the method that works for you right out of the shoot but, if you don't, the key is to keep trying until you find something that works for you!

    Hearing the words "You have cancer" didn't do much for me as far as wanting to quit so I know what you're saying.  I was diagnosed in May of 2009 and I didn't get to the point of wanting to quit until December which is when I started making myself go outside to smoke.  That cut me back from 1 1/2 packs to around 3/4 pack (it's COLD here in the winter!!)  Then I found a really good book that explained the addiction in a way I was READY to hear (used to always make me mad when doctors said I had an addiction but it truly is what it is) and basically took apart every reason that smokers use to justify smoking and showed what an illusion it all is.  That got me in the right frame of mind to quit.  THAT is the really important part!!! Right frame of mind AND ready to quit!!!!!  How you get there seems to vary by the individual.  Hopefully some of the others will be along soon to talk about what helped them get to this point.

    Quitting is definitely not for the faint of heart but look at what you've already been through.  Once you get through the early few weeks, it gets easier and is sooooo worth it! 

    Let us know how your bmx goes on Tuesday and what you decide on quitting smoking.  Whatever you decide, we will be here when you are ready!