Exchange City
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Waif?! LOL! I don't think so! But I guess it's all relative! I'll be in touch tomorrow.
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I've been away from the forum for a few weeks due to work, and just not wanting to get on a computer after spending all day on one! I just celebrated one month post exchange, and can start to see some changes. My implants (Mentor Silicone 550) still feels tight though. I've been lightly massaging Bio_Oil on my scars after I shower but everything still feels tight. I've been wearing regular bras during the day and still feel more comfortable with a sports bra on at night. I have a couple of questions for the experts here. When can I start sleeping on my side? Any other recommendations for scars? Also, can someone give me a few tips for non underwire bras? I've gone the bra thread but it's so overwhelming. I tried on a few that had extra space where the nipple would normally fill, but I did find a couple from Natori that seemed ok. Just looking for a few more quick tips. Thanks!
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Jujube -- check out Chantelle wireless bras... and as for when to sleep on your side, I just went by what felt OK. I waited a few months though... then tried lying on my side and if it felt OK I stayed there, if not I went back to my back. I have to say that after all the surgeries and back sleeping... I now find it equally comfortable to sleep on my back as on my side! When in doubt, of course, check with your PS.
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Jujube- yeh for one month- I have found that each day they are changing now- i am headed for six weeks on Wednesday...been sleeping on my side for a ocuple of weeks now....I alternate between my danskin sports zip front sports bra and some really nice wireless ones with soft cups (they have a form to them) to wear to work- I picked up mine at Marshalls, TJ MAxx and Ross---not one has cost over 10 bucks- not making any serious investments until all is done- what is funny is that each one fits like a dream...and that has never been the case before BC....look for ones that have thick sides to them and definitely shape your breasts-which is why the ones with the cups work so well and the fact that I do not have nipples does not even enter into it...I swear by the scaraway sheets (walgreens,cvs) my doc recommended three weeks after exchange- they work well...i just read they work even faster when combined with a good scar cream like mederma-I love mederma as when my son was in serious accident his leg was mangled- needed muscle and skin grafts- it looked like hamburger-today, it looks like a small burn on his leg- he slathered that stuff on religously and it worked beyond compare- so I am getting some today to use with silicone strips-
as for tightness- it comes and goes...the longer I am vertical during the day= the tighter they get throughout...not as bad as in first few weeks...
have a great Monday- and City Kitty- I have been called many things but never a waif - so claim it sister:)
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LOL Annette ("claim it sister")
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Hi All, I've posted updated pix on the forum at the end of my thread. Can anyone tell me how to change the date in my thread title on the forum to reflect updated date?
Tomorrow I go for round two fat grafting for the remaining ripples and maybe a nip reduction for the side that is a little bigger. Feeling quite anxious and ambivlent about this surgery for some reason. This should be my LAST!!
Best to all you recovering Ladies!!!!! hugs, deekaay
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x ray girl. I had an infection in both my breasts after the tissue expanders were put in. The norm is to pull them. I sooooo did not want that so I said do whatever it takes to keep these in. It was unchartered territory. I had a PICC line inserted and I was on two IV antibiotics for 6.5 weeks. I was very fortunate that it cleared up the infection and I did not loose the tissue expanders. My breast surgeon also took me back to the OR for two surgeries where she opened me up and flushed me out and debrided. Unfortunately I lost my nipples in the second surgery which is still devastating to me but I kept the TEs!
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Jujube: I love my Victoria's Secret no wire bras (most are on line) and you might find some on sale right now--like Annetek says, most have some padding to them and provide good support. I also picked up some at Marshalls for cheap!
Deekaay: I am so excited for you to be done and also a bit jealous! I will go look at your pics now! Also, go to page one on your thread on the picture forum--you can change your header on that page only by doing an edit.
Determined: Losing the nipple was the hardest thing for me, but remaining healthy is more important. Hugs!
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MBJ I know...... still sad about it though. Can't seem to shake being so sad to lose them. The bite is it was a hospital aquired infection more than likely. Oh well I am here. My husband loves me and I get to talk with you great ladies. What more could I ask for? It could be worse. Blessings need to focus on blessings. Feeling a bit down as today at 4:30 go to the viewing of my 45 year old neighbor who died last week of ovarian cancer. Life is so fragile. Sometimes I can't believe all this has happened or all that has happened to my body. Do you ladies ever feel like that?
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Determined: Man oh man do I hear you! Hang in there! The best is yet to come...right?!
I have been getting so wrapped up in this and that as far as the reconstruction phases go that every now and again it hits me like a ton of bricks WHY I am having to do any of this in the first place. Looking back my journey has been a whirlwind as I am sure many of you can relate to. Life is so fragile...a year ago my biggest concern was where I would vacation over the summer. Now things are day by day...3 days out from my exchange and next up is an appt with my onc for my final path tests and (hopefully) all clear! And then the nipples, and then this, and then that. It seems never ending! At the end of the day the biggest blessing is to be cancer free but it is hard to ignore the stressors that come from the BC diagnosis and treatments.. the physical and mental changes that stem from the onset of the diagnosis are overwhelming ......having everyone here that has (unfortunate) first hand experience is priceless!
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Determined I think I feel like that every day. It's like it's happening to someone else and then I realize it's me. But now that I am on the road to reconstruction and chemo is behind me I do feel lucky somehow.0
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Yes I agree Carrol. It is good to be moving in the journey. I still have to finish my recon and deciding about a revision prior to nipples. I say to my husband, I can't even believe I am talking about this stuff. It is overwhelming for sure. And it all happens out of the blue and so fast that I think we are just stunned for so long. I really think when the reconstruction is finally done and the treatments we will all feel relieved and maybe able to move forward more consistently right?
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Determined I feel that way some days too. I find myself tearing up when I go somewhere for the first time since my surgery and the cancer diagnosis. Part of it I think is that I am still healing and not physically as strong as I will eventually be, and the other part I think is grief. I'm different. I've changed greatly, and not to my liking, since February.
But I remind myself of the good part of my diagnosis--we got it early. This is a recurrence for me, 1998 was the first time, which was also relatively early stage. So it was quite a shock, but I know my prognosis is good relative to thousands of others hit with cancer. And my family--they are the absolute joy and foundation of my life.
I do have a question for everyone on this thread--how many of you have second-guessed your decision for implants vs the other procedures that use our own body tissue for reconstruction? I was so scared -- I decided on implants without much knowledge of the options, only that it was a lot more surgery and I wasn't crazy about the idea of abdominal scarring. I don't even know if I could have been a candidate for those other surgeries. Anyway--thoughts on why the rest of you chose the TE's and silicone over other options would be appreciated.
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rowan i had the same thinking i did not want cutting in more than one place. I also like the look if implants, I don't mind if I come out looking like a playboy bunny lol. i spoke to someone in person that had both surgeries and the woman with the implants was happier. SO that was that made the decision pretty quick for me.0
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Rowan-- it is a hard decision to chose implants vs. natural body tissue. My PS was great about answering my fifty million questions about why one is better than the other or vice versa. What it came down to for me was my age. I am 27 so doing the abdominal option was never really something I considered for myself. I hope to have kids at some point when this is all behind me and pregnancies can be more difficult as well as labor if your abdomen area has been operated on. Initially, I chose to go with silicone for the natural look and feel. Becuase of my build, my PS thought that saline would give me the best outcome since he could "overfill" them where as the silicone is prefilled and can't be changed. I am fresh out of my exchange surgery (it was Friday the 22nd) but look and feel wise so far so good!
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Determined, the feeling like all this has happened to someone else is something I still experience when I stop and think about my life. Kind of the "bad dream" kind of feeling. The only other time I've had this feeling has been after a significant loss of someone close to me. So I kind of think this feeling now is part of the ongoing grieving process that really takes a while to come to terms with. On a day to day basis, I am a trooper and really very strong and positive. It's the deep down vulnerable stuff that we share with others who understand.
Now on to fat grafts tomorrow morning and then I should be DONE!!! hugs, deekaay
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So good to read all the experiences you girls have had - it does help prepare those of us still ahead. Saw the PS today for my pre-op appointment (Wednesday is e-day!)... I asked about the hamburger bun look and he kind of laughed and said that I'll see essentially the same thing as the TEs but a little less projection and softer of course. He did volunteer to do a little lipo-ing of some fat near my armpit (something I wouldn't have thought to ask for, but okay by me). He's going to move the boobs in a little bit closer together (yay!). For the third time, he said he can make my nipples smaller (he seems to think they are freakishly large), and once again I told him to leave my nipples alone! They are the only recognizable part of me on my chest and as long as I can have them, I want them as they are. I better not wake up out of the fog with little raisin nipples in place of my bullet heads. (Not that raisin nipples are bad, I just don't have them.) So excited! Love hearing about your adventures and ready to add my own to the pile.
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thanks Carrol2 and Almostdone27--I like to hear the reasons why you chose what you did. I think it's because everything seems like it happened so fast and I didn't do much research. I sort of operated on gut level only. When this is all over and I am feeling good, I imagine I will be at peace with my decision. It's just so nice to have people to share these questions with--you all understand, listen, share, and don't try to fix.
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Annettek and Lilah - Definitely LOL at "claim it, sister!" I'm going to go to sleep tonight grinning about being called a waif.
I don't remember any instructions about how to sleep...? I normally sleep on my back and then eventually shift to one side or the other. The same has been true since the exchange. I like sleeping on my back, but eventually, I have to move to another position. The past couple of days, my back has been hurting, and I think it's because when I need to shift positions, I'm trying to sleep on my side and NOT sleep on my side at the same time! It's just awkward! Now I need the Vicodin, not for surgery pain, but for back pain!
MBJ -- I don't know how you can order bras online. I can't even order earrings online! I have to try on everything!
Determined -- Yes, I do feel like that, often. In the past couple of months I learned a good friend I had lost touch with died of cancer a little over a year ago. I had always thought I'd see him again, but now I never will. Then, shortly after that, we lost a relative to colon cancer within a month or so of our learning about it. So while I'm here all distressed about the outcome of my exchange surgery, I have to be grateful I'm here at all.
Deekaay -- Totally agree with the "bad dream" feeling. Whenever I stop to think about it, it seems impossible that this could be happening to me! But I guess that is just part of the normal stuff we go through. Good luck tomorrow! Looking forward to seeing your results!
JoanDavies -- Your PS and I should talk, LOL. I am so looking forward to the nipple stage of my recon because I want to do nipple-sharing, lopping off half of my own freakishly large nipple and planting it on the other side. At least that's the way I hope it will work.
Oh, and with some trepidation, I did post on the pictures forum.
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Haven't been on this thread in awhile and was just catching up on posts. After months of reading this thread, I have to say I'm still surprised to hear so many people talk about the "drop and fluff" post-exchange. I'm five months out from my exchange and I never experienced it. I didn't have "hamburger bun" breasts immediately post surgery, and I'm actually smaller now, instead of larger like most people. I guess I had a lot of swelling, so I was fuller and had more cleavage in the weeks right after my surgery. I did "drop" over time, but I didn't "fluff." I guess everyone's experience is different.
Now I'm trying to decide whether or not to do the nipple reconstruction. After my exchange surgery, I decided I definitely was not going to have it done. I didn't want any more surgeries, esp. because I got infections after 3 out of 5 of my surgeries last year. I thought I would be fine without nipples and liked the idea of not having to wear a bra. Now as I look at myself in the mirror everyday when I get out of the shower and put Bio Oil on my scars (I have to try Lugol's as MBJ and others have recommended), I'm thinking maybe I would feel more complete/"normal" with the fipples and it sounds like getting the fips & aureolas also makes the scars less noticable. I just started a new job, so I don't want to have to take off too much time from work. What is the recovery like after nipple reconstruction?
Congrats to all those who recently had exchanges!
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citykitty - What I expected to see and what I saw were two entirely different things ... you look GREAT, girl! Relax and let your new girls settle in! You look really good!
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LG300 - I was so back and forth on the whole nip issue! I finally decided to do it and am so happy I did! I, like you, just wanted to be done, didn't want to deal with the surgery ... but for me, having the nips has made me feel whole again when I look in the mirror. Depending on your job and what kind of nip reconstruction you have done (I would think having the skin grafts is going to take more healing time) you could be back to work the next day ... with some lifting and reaching restrictions. I don't regret getting my nips at all!0
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Dawne-Hope -- From one waif to another ; )...thanks. Do you have pictures there? I might not have been searching correctly. (Just curious what a real waif looks like!)
I know, I know...the pictures look good, and I'm hopeful that in the end things will work out, but I'm just not there yet, physically or mentally.
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Thanks Dawne-Hope. Your comments are really helpful. It sounds like my PS would use what I've seen referred to as the origami method (she talked about twisting my scar tissue to make a nipple), so I don't think I'd have any skin grafts. If I decide to go through with it, I'd ideally like to have the surgery on a Friday, so that I'd have the weekend to rest. My body tends to heal relatively slowly, and I'm still so exhaused these days even though my last surgery was in November.
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citykitty - lol! 'a real waif' ... you're bony up top too, girl! you may be more so than me ... i'll bump up my pictures for you. when i get my tats which will be i don't know when ... i'll post my pre-dmx pics.
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Rowan- I didn't second guess my choice at all....not much for doc to work with (first time ANYONE ever told me that!) and I really scar hard- I can handle them on my breast-but not other places...PS is even making my nipples out of skin he is "growing" at bottom of my incisions to avoid skin grafts....gut level is always good in my book..it has kept me on course through this maddening trip down the rabbit hole...I knew if I had BC I would do a BMX...from the moment I was told I needed a biopsy. My gut-nobody else's, which is why I try not to preach that someone should do this or that...only to make it their choice as much as they can.
Joan- it is gonna be great...it is amazing what are bodies can do...I had some wazzo nipples myself and always wanted cute little ones hahahaha so I can't imagine what they will look like....
LG- from what my PS has told me the nip surgery is the easiest one of all...we are shooting for a Friday so I can have the weekend to heal...I have to tell you this-I ordered a crazy pair of nips on Ebay (yep, the sell em on Ebay!) for 10 bucks...popping those silly things on and looking in the mirror made me feel WONDERFUL...it completed the picture for me so to speak. I don't wear them as they stick out like torpedoes...but made me excited about the next step. I am smaller than I was right after exchange- I was really swollen- but the more time I spend with Ike and Tina- the more I like em:) As for the fear of infections...ask your PS if they will give you some antibiotics before the surgery...it sometimes helps to ward off infection...can't wait til we all have a new nip unveiling! (How bizarre is that statement?)
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Rowan I was the same as you, I knew what i would do right away. had already decided that if I needed a mx I would take both breasts while i waited for the MRI results. I also had already decided on implants. I think i was hoping my new breasts will be nicer than my old ones. so far i think they are going to look very similar.0
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Deekaay: Very good luck to you tomorrow!!! So exciting to be done!
LG300: I had the Origami method which my PS calls a modified CV flap for the nipple plus a skin graft for the areola and except for it being a bit sore and needing excessive bandaging, I could have had it done on a Friday and been back to work on a Monday or Tuesday, I am just not working for anyone else right now. Ask to not have general anesthesia (I did a "twilight" anesthesia) and you will recover faster. It was the best part of the whole reconstruction process. I was ecstatic, really. Just to see a nipple again! It made all of the difference in the world. I also went to the nursing mothers department and purchased a nipple "cover" and cut the end off to protect my nipple when I wear a bra with the straps loosened for comfort.
Rowan: I did all of my research during chemo. The first BS wanted to do a Lat/Dorsi method removing my back muscle on one side plus radiation and have me wait a year or two for recon so I was frantically trying to find a dr. who used Alloderm for the sling and implants, which the first BS refused to do. I ended up going completely on my own gut as far as my choices were just like Anettek-Because I had already started chemo I started interviewing doctors and I just got lucky and found an OncoPlastic BS--and I ended up not even needing radiation! No regrets at all! I would have regreted anything else and besides I also didn't have enough tissue to make a natural breast. I think it's great that there are these other options but I think it's also unnecessary surgery and more risky, too, if you have other choices. It's amazing what they can do with implants!
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citykitty: I called ahead and had a professional measurement at Nordstroms but they had zero to offer in no wire bras so all I purchased there was a sports bra. I also went to VS but they only had the Body by Victoria one which I did purchase, but different clothes require different bras, so I went on line and based on my measurements, I ordered a few, sent back the ones that didn't fit and they don't charge for the return shipping costs!
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Annette and MBJ, thanks for your notes. Annette, I may have to try to find those fake nipples on eBay. MBJ, my PS mentioned the twilight anesthesia and I was relieved that I would not have to have general.
Now if I go through with the surgery, I have to decide whether to have it done at the hospital (NYU) where I had all my other surgeries and I got three infections and the post-op nurse gave me another patient's leftover fentanyl in my iv after my last surgery (hence my strong reluctance to go back there) or have it in the surgical center in my PS's building. If it weren't for my bad experiences last year, I would probably feel safer in a hospital (and my PS recommended having the surgery done in the hospital, but said the other was an option). Another factor is that NYU is in network in my insurance and I'm pretty sure the surgical center is out of network, so I think it would be a lot more expensive for me to have the surgery done at the surgical center. Have others had the nipple reconstruction done at a surgical center? I think I remember reading some posts awhile ago where women had the surgery done in their PS' office.
I just love having this forum and being able to "talk" with all of you!
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