Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Well, we are a mite cloudy today -- and maybe or maybe not a shower or two. I think nothing serious, but won't have enough sun to suit me. We are in that cooler period right now and hopefully I enjoy it because once it warms more -- we likely will stay that way the rest of the summer. My daughter is dreading the 'humidity' and likely will take yrs. to get used to it. We took some time ourselves, but our earlier yrs. before the harsh global warming climate changes started were easier. Old enough when the icky got well started that it didn't seem so bad.
Lots of work to do today. Hope it all goes well. Hope you all have a truly nice day.
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No, Puffin, I disagree. Quilters love and prize the old machines because they can withstand heavy use and don't have plastic parts that wear out. Might be good to contact a local quilting club.
Keywest, I am continuing to lose weight, with walking, gardening, and being unable to chew my food much because I am waiting for my insurance to OK my lower denture.
Dishes washed, breakfast eaten, and laundry in the washer. I am getting my list items crossed out fast. I woke up early with my right leg aching.
I've been out in my garden the past hour or so and discovered this unposted post.
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Hello Ladies,I'm new to this website and new this group but very interested because I'm older -- 66 with mBC - and like the comments at this site.
Recently, I was diagnosed with mBC that spread to lymph glands in each breast, large tumors in each breast, and spread to bones in pelvic area. This was after many years at Stage 0 in each breast. I did a watch and wait, especially after learning I wasn't a good candidate for implants or for reconstruction (I didn't have enough fat at that time -- but told it would came with age). A bomb seems to have gone off in my body.
Now taking Anastrozole with quick, positive results but daily nausea, fatigue, sleeping a long time at night, and brain fog.
A question this group may help me with is -- if I'm asked to take care of very young grandchildren, am I able to? Grandchildren are a wonderful, new part of my life, but I'm not sure when or if I'll feel better. And, I'm on my own after losing husband some years ago. Any thoughts? Thank you for reading this.
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Hello mrkkho8,
Grandchildren are a wonderful part of these times of our lives. Are you able to give a 'trial' to watching your grandchildren. Of course, their needs vary depending on their age. Infants must be held safely and you need to assess if you can walk and still hold a baby. Toddlers on the other hand can get away fast. Are you able to move quickly enough to keep them safe? If I were in your shoes, I think I'd want to share my concerns with my own child and ask if they can give you some time while they are with you to determine if you can do whatever the infant/child needs. That will give both the parents and you reassurance. If nothing else, please do share yourself with your grandchild even if it is with the parent's supervision. They are such a wonderful blessing.
Jane
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I second the suggestion to enjoy them with the parents present. If you feel better after the side effects wear off, then you can tackle them by yourself.
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Seems like good advice to mrk regarding care of grandchild.
Beautiful weather here again today and tomorrow is supposed to be the same. The same kind of cool mild weather we enjoy in northern MN during the summer.
Mother's Day for dh and me is a day to remember our mothers. My mother passed away two years ago this May.
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Mother's day just isn't the same anymore - my mother passed away January 2018 and my MIL September 2019. I haven't been blessed with grandchildren yet. I don't like all the mother's day adds. It is a hard day for many. For my older daughter who has been struggling with infertility for years which also makes me sad. Mother's day is always near my birthday and my son's birthday.
Rain is in the forecast for the week-end. Was planning on hiking in the mountains but now just thinking of staying home. Rain here too but more room at home than a small 1 bedroom.
Happy Friday.
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Hi always interested to hear of any “older ladies” I had Masectomy (no recon) in October aged 77...large tumour 90 mm HR, Lobular, no lymph nodes involved. Had OncoDX test it was 19 so thankfully no Chemo recommended...I had the 5 day intense Radiotherapy...bad after effects but soon cleared with wonderful gel impregnated dressings. So now I am six months down the line have been on Leterazole since September feel pretty good but do still get a lot of intermittent pains in the area...I seem quite good on the tablets, some aches and pains especially after sitting...I walk and do housework etc...so far so good. I have read a lot about special diets etc to avoid Estrogen...but at my age I feel it is important to enjoy quality of like for how ever and even a nice glass of wine ! Would love to hear from any ladies in my age group and hear what are your feelings....0 -
We have Mother's Day on Sunday, DIL's birthday on Monday and DH's birthday on Tuesday. We won't be gathering but will celebrate/recognize the occasions independently.
Welcome to the two new posters on this thread. I agree with the grandchild caring advice, try it out with others present for everyone's peace of mind. But please do not isolate yourself from enjoying your family.
Jllly43, I too was diagnosed at age 77 (three years ago). I pay more attention to getting 5 servings of fruits and vegetables than I used to, avoid red meat (due to a history of premalignant colon polyps). I still enjoy a glass of wine but since starting Tamoxifen have no problem limiting to one glass as it "goes to my head" much faster than it used to. I also limit gluten but that is because of arthritis, not cancer!
Karen, sorry this weekend is such a sad one for you. I remember how strange it felt to be the oldest mother in our family after both my mother and DH's mother passed. Sending virtual hugs to you.
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I'm not only the oldest mother - I'm the oldest person on my side of the family. DH is 1 year older and the oldest on his side of the family.
Jilly, My doc said don't eat tofu every day or vast quantities of soy in any form and don't worry about it. I lost some weight to up my chances, but just eat healthily when I can. I agree that a focus on enjoying life is a good one. I also had mastectomy with no recon. I'm happy with it.
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Ladies,
Appreciate the thoughtful, knowledgeable replies. Seems like brain fog made me overlook a trial of caring for young grandchildren. Makes perfect sense. My sudden diagnosis of mBC will probably make my family focus on the uncertainty of my health...unless time passes when I seem fine living with mBC. So, I'll get prepared to make lots of room for grandchildren without expecting to care for them on my own any time soon. Thank you, ladies.
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Mrkkho8,
I'm happy to think you are enjoying those grandchildren now & for many, many years ahead!
Jane
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When I was younger, I worked with an older gentleman and his wife who volunteered to watch their 9 month old granddaughter so their DD and SIL could have a second honeymoon. For a solid week he regaled us with the trials, tribulations and humorous moments of this mission. He said they were sleeping in shifts, taking naps (not prior to this adventure), and their final analysis was "they finally understood why God did not give babies to old people"! He was so pleased to get back to work so he could sit down and not feel guilty about it. Now that I have reached his "years", I can fully understand his message. LOL.
Love my grandchildren but they can wear you out given their surplus of energy. So we have "small dose" visits with a focus that will interest them. My GS loves to garden with me and his favorite chore is helping me transplant flower bulbs (daffodils to naturalize) and ferns from one overgrown area to a barer area. I just essentially provide direction and he does the heavier work: digging holes, putting in plant/bulb and covering them with dirt. We both get a sense of satisfaction form this joint project. Sharing a mutual interest is important to them as is being made to feel useful.
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If we can forgive everyone, regardless of what he or she may have done, we nourish the soul and allow our whole being to feel good. To hold a grudge against anyone is like carrying the devil on your shoulders. It is our willingness to forgive and forget that casts away such a burden and brings light into our hearts, freeing us from many ill feelings against our fellow human beings. Sydney Banks
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I also think the grandchild/children is great advice. Seems perfect to me. I also wish mrkho8 well on the mBC journey. Please feel free to come any time you like.
Mother's Day as well as Father's Day and really all yr. long I consider the days special. I'm grateful to be still here on this earth, but I do miss my loved ones. My Mother was very special to me. There wasn't a day in my or her life that I didn't feel her special kind of love for myself and my sister and Dad. She was stoic about her life which had a lot of harsh parts, but she made it look natural and easy. I never saw or heard any resentment from her for the hard days -- she really seemed to love us all enough not to notice them. She passed away in 1998. I've considered myself so fortunate for my Mom and Dad. They were exactly what I needed and I can't imagine having had any other parents. So, we celebrate our loved ones whenever they cross our minds which is often. We don't require a special day. In fact, we have come to see most holidays and birthdays the same way. They are days listed on calendars ( and yes we do have holiday meals and birthdays ) but not as elaborate as we once did. We decided it was just as easy to choose any ( 'remembrance day ' ) we wanted and have cake and ice cream or a slightly more special meal and enjoy memories of those not wish us.
Sun today which has been so nice and welcome -- about 70 as well which was nice. It though is a fluke I think as it sounds like the 60's weather will be with us yet a while longer. Daughter is starting her first afternoon shift. During covid they were not open overnight and they now find they do not have enough business to support having a 'night' person. So, they gave her 3 to 11 which is good for her. She can sleep in, in the morning still, but get home at a reasonable time at night. I'm usually in bed or will be when she gets home, but I will feel better knowing she is safe at home in the wee hours. It is safer here to work overnight than It was for the same corporation ( Circle K ) in Oxnard, Ca where she worked when she transferred, but I still worried -- always peeking out the front door almost immediately when I got up in the morning.
I hope you all had a really nice day.
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Hello everyone. I'm still reading to keep up but I'm so exhausted lately I don't have the energy to post much. Hope all are doing well.
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LW - are you still doing chemo? Or moved to rads? How is it going? I think of you often.
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Hey there -2. I've got one more Taxol to go, then I start AC. I'll have a mastectomy in July/August and then radiation. Thanks for thinking of me; hope all is well with you.
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Yard work for me this morning. I need to trim the wisteria shrubs on either side of the entrance to the driveway. If I have enough energy, I will also tackle more mulching of flower beds using the baled pine straw I purchased for that purpose.
Betrayal, what a great idea for visiting with grandchildren. I have no children or grandchildren but at one time I was a good aunt who did fun things with nieces and nephews. I used to keep an eye on children's movies and take them on movie dates, followed by a shopping trip. I once took nephew Jacob to a movie and before it was over, he asked, "Can we go to Walmart's now?"
Departure date is near, less than two weeks. I have been checking the weather in northern MN.
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So my bonded parakeet pair that blessed me with a baby last July have decided to try to provide more babies this year. Currently mom is sitting on 3 eggs! Her spouse and baby are dutifully busy feeding her. The eggs are small but when you see how she has to position herself to cover all 3 it is a remarkable. She is flattened and spreads her wings while fluffing up her chest feathers. She prefers to lie flat on the paper at the bottom of the cage and rejected my attempt at providing her with a softer surface. She does leave them occasionally so I am able to clean the bottom of the cage quickly. So now I am in the watch and wait stage for about 2 more weeks. So far she has laid 5 eggs, but 2 broke so I discarded them, leaving one so she promptly laid 2 more. I'll let you know how things go.
I was able to leave the baby with the parents since they do not seem to mind its (unable to establish gender until they are a year old) presence. They still feed it on occasion though it is capable of eating on its own, just like us with our children.
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When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds; Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be. -Patanjali
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LW422 Listen to your body and rest when you need too. Hopefully taking care of immediate needs ( rest ) asap will help to replenish us through our health -giving protocols. You are just aiding your body in what it asks for with hope it will respond with the best results possible.
Carole, only two weeks and then a summer's escape to cooler and more tolerable weather. Sounds like a great trade. I bet the people/owners of your resort are looking forward to your arrival.
We had some rain during the night, wee hrs. I think. Damp around the edges when we got up this morning. May get more and it will definitely stay in the 50's today. Don't mind that so much as the gray exterior of the sky. Well, sunshine has always been my thing though mainly for the " light " rather than spending overt amts. of time in the sun. I've never done gray well and at this late date likely never will.
Betrayal I am once again excited to hear about your Parakeets choosing to be parents again. Now someone could possibly ( done carefully ) write a whole small book about the life and times of your two parakeets and their children thru the generations. I'll be waiting with baited breath for further installments on the progress of the delightful Mom and Dad and small fry already here and helping.
No special plans today. Yesterday was longer than I usually like to spend at my friends farm but sometimes she ( along with the work I do ) really as much as anything needs to talk. She is often nervous about being alone ( her husband passed away a couple yrs. ago ) and since covid especially has missed going out to eat with friends or family and some of the visiting. I began helping her when she had a hip replacement earlier this yr. which she found somewhat upsetting. Recovery was slow and while she now walks well, like many of us, she still has pains sometimes ( I think mostly arthritic in nature ) which call for her to sit more than she likes. So way longer before I got home and that almost always means I don't get much done but not letting anything get worse.
I hope you are all going to have a really good Saturday.
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So I am long beyond my reproductive years and have to take pleasure in the reproductive powers of my two bonded parakeets. Who knew they would survive long enough to reproduce since they need to be between 5-6 years old to do so. Their quiet chirps and sometimes noisy spats have provided background noise for those years and sometimes they would really amp up when I was recording a class for my students (when I was still teaching) when inclement weather meant the college was closed. The feedback from the students let me know who had listened to the recordings and those who had not. When a student would mention this in class, some of the others would appear to be bewildered so I knew they had not listened to the recordings and were not going to benefit from this class either.
The parakeets have made the Covid isolation somewhat bearable and were wonderful parents to the one they produced last July. So prior to last July I had 3 parakeets: the bonded pair in one large cage and a single (the talker) in a smaller cage. Attempts to mingle them were a complete failure, so Blue remains alone but he flies free on occasion and talks to me. Unfortunately 2 of the 3 cats consider him "meals on wings" so he has to be supervised when free. He bickers through the cage bars with the others but I have to watch because they will bite his feet, so I think they regard him as an invader.
I will regale you with updates as they occur. Happy Mother's Day to all.
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I love the parakeet updates.
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I agree. You are having a great time with them, and sharing it with us, our interest is more distant, yet we are captivated. I had a pair of finches once who raised a baby. It was an interesting journey..
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So glad i've found this site, am 64 and newly diagnosed with mets breast cancer. Took a chance and retired early without insurance, but my 70 year old hubby was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, did have Medicare and felt it more important to be there for him. When i got the dx, flipped out for many reasons of course, but the knowledge that i had no insurance was terrifying. How would I get a dx, much less treatment. Turns out i contacted my local health department and they have programs for women's health issues that paid entirely for the mammogram, biopsy and will now start my states medicaid program to pay for the treatment. ; Don't know about the state where you live, but checking with your local health department may be the answer to your prayers ladies that are uninsured. Hope this helps someone, sure did me, knowing that i don't have to worry about the financial problem with this dx. By the way i live in the great state of Tennessee. love and peace
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Good words, Ragged Edge. Glad you didn't sink and instead discovered how to swim. Might be good to post your story here: https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/113 Welcome to the club nobody wants.
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Integrity is not a conditional word. It doesn't blow in the wind or change with the weather. It is your inner image of yourself, and if you look in there and see a person who won't cheat, then you know you never will. -John MacDonald
A life lived with integrity--even if it lacks the trappings of fame and fortune--is a shining star in whose light others may follow in the years to come. -Denis Waitley
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Ragged Edge -- what MC Baker said. Life gives us lots of un-expected lemons and if we discover the recipe for lemonade, we are most fortunate. To me that is growing your soul in the best way. I hope you will feel free to come here if you feel the need to be with some of us oldies here. But no matter what you do I hope you will stick with BC.Org. You can find so many resources, as well as interact on the site with the exact issue you likely are having at any one time. As stated as well, just having a place where you can relate just from an age stand-point.
We all enjoy each other's company here and work thru our personal issues with getting understanding and news of how someone else took care of a similar problem. We share tips of one kind or other, and even follow the adventures of one of our member's parakeets. So, there is something going on here all the time. It is just a bit less frantic here as we are a small group and we have mainly retired. We all hope -- whether you post here or not that your txs. go well for you.
Rainy today and gray, but it was expected. Happy Day to all.
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Welcome Ragged Edge. I'm glad you found good resources for treatment. Good for you thinking to call the health department. My DH (husband) grew up in Oak Ridge until high school when they moved to Alaska. It's a pretty state.
We were hoping to have a big family Mother's Day but the Army had different plans for my GS. So we're having lunch with him on Wed as he leaves for his new post in Arizona. He's been there before and likes it, which is a good thing.
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