Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light. -Brené Brown
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I offer my cheers to you as well Key West for your enjoyable trip to Fla. Sounds like a place ( other than the high humidity ) that I could like -- especially some walking explorations. Sad that there are so many people and young who choose to be such tempters of fate. Glad that all the older people likely had their shots. It is it seems just the way it goes so next as Carole mentioned will likely be a booster.
Petite, I'm just so hoping that soon some answers come for your Dh. Glad that some of his meds give him some relief/rest, but I'm sure there are tons of frustrations trying to find the happy medium.
There are some really hearty individuals who it seems are blessed with extremely good health and I'm happy that is so, but then my view is that if you don't look to protect that gift all the way ( thinking flu shots and vaccinations here ) you could have regrets down the line. I also think of most people as having some issues ( enough generally to give one a sense of some caution ) so we will be available to help our friends if and when they might come to a downturn from lack of preventative available measures. I have forgotten a few yrs. back to make sure I got in on the flu shots ( only available for a certain length of time ) but with my age increasing, and working a lot less I've made sure to get it done. I was fortunate thru those yrs. but I do think there is some benefit in now skipping since slight changes are made to encompass the variances that are a part of each new flu season.
Rain, rain, rain, and likely through the day. I'm going to maybe attempt to go to work and will see how it goes. I haven't called the V.A. yet -- still thinking over if I want to try for a Medrol pack and see if that gets me cleared up. I've had some "good" periods the last few days so don't know.
Hope you all have a good day.
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Keywestfan, I'm so glad you enjoyed your trip. I know what you mean about the heat. Every time I deplane in Hawaii, I think "nothing i brought to wear is cool enough". It's worse now that we've acclimated to Seattle which has 2-3 weeks of really hot weather (80's & 90's). We moved here from Houston and froze for the first year. Now I melt when it's hot.
I had flu my freshman year in college and was in the infirmary for a week. I get my flu shot every year. Why take a chance?
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Keywestfan - so glad you got to enjoy your time there. Petite - I feel so bad for your husband.
Flu shots - had to be 1982 or 83 and I was working 2 jobs as we had just bought a house and had to pay off all credit card debt, when I got sick. I saw my GP who told me I had to stay home because it was the flu. She gave me two notes, one for each job, for being out of work. Well I was so bad I recall that my hair hurt, like don't touch me my hair hurts! I've gotten the flu vaccine yearly ever since.
Masks - I wear it more than not. Feels good to hike w/o it. But I know up north in winter it kept me from cold induced asthma. I carry some in my car and in my purse.
Have a good night and a good Wednesday!
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I haven't work a mask outside walking for a while, but generally have it with me - we walk in the neighborhood and cross the street if we see someone walking so we keep our distance. I will continue to mask in stores till I see what is happening with positivity rates without masks. School year is finishing how we have been all year with masks etc
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Last day at home. Hope to do laundry, clean out the refrigerator, finish packing clothes and food stuff from the pantry. The little cargo trailer parked outside is being loaded up. The Ford Tundra isn't too happy about towing it but my Prius definitely isn't up to the job.
Yesterday as I took care of several errands, I thought to myself that I definitely wouldn't miss the traffic. Our quiet north shore communities have become more and more populated in recent years.
Petite, I hope your dh can get some relief for those awful headaches. Also hope Jackie can manage the back pain and Keywestfan gets some good outcomes from all those appointments.
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We can stop waiting for life to become perfect and start working
with what we've got to make it as satisfying as we can. We can accept, bless, give thanks, and get going. Today, we can begin to call forth the riches from our everyday life. Procrastination has robbed us of too many precious opportunities. Call a friend for lunch, begin to read or even write that novel, organize your papers. Try a new recipe for dinner, smile at everyone you meet, sit and dream before a blazing fire, pick up your needlepoint again, act as if you're grateful to be alive, scatter joy. Think of one thing that would give you a genuine moment of pleasure today and do it.
Sarah Ban Breathnach0 -
Looking a mite grayish outside this morning. I am thinking ( hoping ) we won't see rain today. We had plenty yesterday. The temps will be fine -- I think 79 or so. Almost too warm ( humid ) for the moisture that is all over. The sun wants to come out so we will just have to see how it goes.
Hope you have a safe, un-eventful trip to MN this yr., Carole. I would be happy to have less traffic as well. I don't drive much toward St. Louis and when I have it has only been to the big shopping area -- never go across the river into Mo. I was happy leaving California when we moved back home to begin residing again where there is little traffic. Calif. became much worse for traffic after we left, but something you would take in stride if you were there while it grew to what now seems like gigantic proportions. In fact MN where you go seems ideal for such good reasons -- sparse traffic, great weather, and a quiet life doing enjoyable activities.
Not much planned for today. I have some things basically to continue on this my day off. I will not have to go out to my friend's way out in the country this coming Tues. because they will have a sm. vacation -- so some time off there as well. All good for me right now. I will still go to the farm twice and the lady in town that I help which is mainly for my BIL.. He is having trouble with one arm. He says he thinks it could be rotator issues and will go to the Dr. Just wow -- hope I don't have to do too much more for our town friend. It is mainly why I help him. Sort of selfish of me, but I have never felt that my mission should become too entangled with the promise that my dying SIL extracted from her hubby to help the town friend. Being widowed and retired, BIL has time to fulfill his promise, but I have a lot of life in other ways I need to deal with and I can't do all that this lady needs -- but decided helping BIL a couple days a week so that he could have time off would be okay. That is really pretty much all I can give. I need to work at my sm. jobs for gas tank money and while I feel for the town friend I really don't see indications that she is highly motivated to do some of the things she could to help herself. I can't say for sure because no one can feel what another person does, but she seems to always say "when her Dr. releases her". I'm not sure from what. A few times when BIL and I as well, could not get to her house she was able to do most of what we help her with -- so, it leaves questions for me.
I just can only sit so long and have to do something and when not doing things at home like to help others who are having issues get some accomplishments under their belts. I feel good and most of the time I think they do too. My farm friend says she feels inspired while I'm at her house to do some of the chores she has put off since her husband passed on. She also likes the companionship. She is not out in the country ( well not really more than my house is ) but feels I think more isolation then I do since she lives alone now. She is sometimes afraid and I've never been -- even when I spent 7 or 8 days alone here when Dh would go for a visit to South Dakota. I enjoyed it actually but I did know it was temporary.
I hope you are all going to have a really nice Wednesday.
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Yes! I seem to be older than most of you: I will be 74 next month. Just read in the local paper that Lucinda Franks, prize winning journalist, died at 74 of breast cancer. This didn't help because I recently developed resistance to 1st line of treatment that was working so well, and I have been reading about life expectancy. Not good news.
I joined the "older women's caucus" of a women's psychologists association I belong to and find it a great place to be. We meet monthly by Zoom. One reason it is helpful is that I don't know which pains and problems are aging, which are treatment side effects, and which are cancer. One reason it is not is that they are all grieving loss of friends and partners, but not their own demise. I don't talk to anyone with mbc. I think I need to.
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Welcome IJWMBC, I'm 80 so you're certainly not the oldest and I think there are a couple of regulars older than me. Finding others with your dx is a great idea. I know there are a lot of women who have lived years with MBC and they are inspirations. We "older" women need to stick together.
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Checking as I am also 80. Have been dealing lately with family health issues more than my own so have not been posting much. Agree that gaining knowledge from others' experiences is a helpful thing to do!
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Welcome IJWMBC. I am 75 and later on this yr. in Sept. will be 76. Knowledge is power and I too have known a number of people with MBC who went many yrs. I hope you can ( there is a wealth of it here ) fill yourself with information because this starts out ( I think for most people ) as overwhelming and can some time later become manageable in ways that were hard to see at first. I hope you feel free to come and share. We slightly older ladies don't have the same issues as the younger ladies and that makes this thread really nice for us.
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Welcome, IJWMBC. I just celebrated 75 years on Mother's Day. You are far from the oldest but we are a small supportive group, worrying about grands and great grands rather than little ones, our loved ones health issues as well as our own.
I was fortunate with an early diagnosis but my BFF lived a very full 5 years after her MBC diagnosis. I know it was helpful for her to set short terms goals for herself. The first was to live to cancel out a friend's vote in an upcoming Presidential election (and she lived to vote in another one), then to go to her son's wedding, and on and on. We had a number of wonderful trips together and her grandchildren really got to know her.
After 12 days in the hospital, I expect Ken to come home tomorrow or Friday. I'm OK with that. He's off IV meds, narcotic pain killers and oxygen. Even ordered a pizza for lunch. I am going to take my BIL's suggestion that we get a hospital bed and I picked up several "assist" items at our local lending closet late last week. Nurse navigator assures me they won't discharge him until the support pieces are in place.
Travel safe.
Marge
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Welcome IJWMBC. At 74, you seem young to me. I cannot believe I am 87. When I have to give my birthdate over the phone, I invariably giggle- it seems so improbable.I live in Independent Living in a Continuing Care Community. There is a woman here who is extremely active, on all the committees, head of the Library, etc. Turns out she goes to the same MO. She says he has kept her alive with MBC for “14 years.” I know what you mean about not being able to differentiate cancer from aging from side effects. I walk over 10k steps a day, but tripped over a bad sidewalk join 5 weeks ago, had a hard fall, still dealing with a plethora of dentists and feel vulnerable in a way I didn’t before, a bit wobbly, not as firmly planted on the ground.When I get up from sitting, I am very stiff, have to straighten slowly. None of this was present before the Arimidex which I started just two years ago on Fathers Day. I actually suspect it is the Arimidex rather than aging which is making me so stiff. Whatever, I don’t like it, but must adjust. We just returned from Key West and thank you all who so graciously hoped we had a good time which we did in spades, although we were certainly the oldest people on that lovely island. The airport agent who checked us in before our return plane to Chicago said the waiting room to board “was a giant petrie dish.” We stayed far off to the side. Will be going to Denver for a few days in June to see Gil’s brother and family and then from there to Santa Fe to meet my cousin and her male professor partner of many years who are 10 years younger. But I think our traveling days are basically over. We, especially me, am tired. Age, Arimidex, or the combination. I am an LCSW and wish I had a Zoom group like yours.
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Spiritual wealth can be a pathway to true and lasting happiness because with it, we have a resource to provide for what may be needed. Material wealth may be dependent on many extraneous factors that can sometimes be outside our control. Spiritual wealth can be within our control because it is an "inside job." We are the ones who determine how much or how little we open our hearts and our minds. If we take inventory and find ourselves lacking in spiritual wealth, we have the opportunity to replenish the supply. Within us can be found the necessary tools for building productive and happy lives. We can access the ability to be useful and, thereby, enjoy life, regardless of what may be taking place around us. -John Marks Templeton
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Just more or less waiting for the day to develop. Several things to deal with but nothing a huge rush. I do have to go into town today and do the town lady. Weather should be fine. Hope it is a good traveling day for Carole.
Taco, glad that things are going to even out and you will be able to have Dh at home at last. I imagine he is starting to feel anxious for it. You can only 'take' the hospital so long before you need your 'at home' normal back. Wishing you both well on the homecoming.
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Welcome, IJWMBC.
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Hello IJWMBC. Nice to see you here.
Taco, I'm glad to hear your hubby's improving and will be home soon.
KeyWestFan--sounds like a great trip in spite of the other "trip" you had. Are you feeling OK these days?
I had my first AC chemo treatment on Tuesday and I feel like I just returned from hell. Yesterday was awful. Weird that I felt so good and healthy until treatment started. Just what is that all about??
Hope everyone is doing well.
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LW422 I am sorry to hear your tx was so difficult. I had AC back in 2007 ( very late ) and didn't feel much as I recall from the first round. It is cumulative though so I did start feeling it more each time. I'm sure now more is known and if you work closely with your team I would bet they can give you a good combination of meds to take the se's way back. I've known people who were able to continue working and do really well. I hope you will gain excellent control.
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LW - I managed 6 rounds of TCHP, but I could NOT do four AC after surgery. Had to stop after three since my body & blood counts were in total rebellion. Hope you have an easier time.
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Illinois Lady--I know some people cruise right through it, but apparently I'm not one of 'em!! Taxol was a breeze compared to the Red Devil. So far my team has been very attentive; the pharmacist from MD Anderson called me earlier to discuss my SEs and how I can adjust the dosages if need be.
Hey -2! I'm not surprised that some can't tolerate the AC; it is brutal. I'm hoping I can hang in there since I drew the short straw of TN-IBC. I swear, it really kicked my butt yesterday but I'm feeling halfway human today. Speaking of blood counts, I'm hoping I won't have to deal with Neulasta, another terror-inducing proposition. Hope you're doing well.
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LW422 - I had TAC chemo - 6 rounds every 3 weeks. I was part of a group here when I was going through chemo - interesting we all had different side effects and we all reacted differently - for me each chemo was worse, for some #3 was worse and then got better. I'm glad that your team is working with you on SE. Hoping things get easier for you.
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LW - I LOVED the Neulasta shots. They save my butt every single time. The only thing I had to do was go get an extra bag of saline for hydration in the 3 week infusions.
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Only the wise person draws from life, and from every stage of it, its true savour, because only he or she feels the beauty, the dignity, and the value of life. The flowers of youth may fade, but the summer, the autumn, and even the winter of human existence, have their majestic grandeur, which the wise person recognizes and glorifies. -Henri Amiel
Wise people are able to give themselves gracefully to seemingly contradictory experiences, because they know that they belong to different seasons of life, all of which are necessary to the whole. Spring and winter, growth and decay, creativity and fallowness, health and sickness, power and impotence, and life and death all belong within the economy of being. -Sam Keen
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LW I had four rounds of the AC and then 4 of Taxotere. I did not ever actually gain control of my se's. I did however have Neupogin rather than Neulasta. I was instructed to take a fast acting Tylenol a few minutes before I administered the Neupogin to myself. Never had an issue doing that. It was easy to do and I did not have to "go" anywhere to get the shot. So, my counts were always good. I won't bore you with the 'ordeal' other than to say I did end up with the mother of all cases of thrush. Started at the bottom of my esophagus and was working its way up. Extremely un-pleasant and I spent an afternoon and night in the hospital for it to be identified -- then had Magic Mouthwash for mouths afterwards.
Sounds like you have an excellent team to work with so I do so hope that you and they together will find the key to keeping you comfortable during this time. I have had two more bouts with cancer recently. I'm doing fine and since the second and third were new primary category I am NED and looking to stay that way. Will be under the watchful eyes of my Urologist for the next three yrs.
Work today was fine. My back is trying to 'get' better by itself although I did have a PCP consultation this afternoon. We are going to give it til' the 3rd. of June when I have to see her again anyway. It is also coming up time to start the once a yr. tests, etc. So, I have managed ( with a grimace or two ) to keep working at my little jobs.
Hope you all had a splendid day. Happy traveling Carole.
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I spent last week packing up Dad's apartment in Burnsville and helping him downsize from a 2 bedroom to a 1 bedroom. Since his new place has a dining room that provides meals, he won't be doing much cooking and we got rid a lot of his kitchen equipment that he won't be needing. Two Men and A Truck did a great job with his move, efficient, and everything arrived intact.
I had all the boxes unpacked and put away, and the boxes recycled in 24 hours. The congestion was adding to his confusion and I felt he'd do better the sooner we got things looking more normal. I stayed overnight with him and slept on his recliner the first night in case he woke up and couldn't remember where he was at, but he did OK. Now we're practicing increasing his confidence in moving around the building to and from the cafeteria and the front desk mail box. I've eaten several meals with him and the food is excellent. Last night was his first meal in the cafeteria without me and he found another single man to sit with.
We've spent a couple hours on the phone calling in his address change to Mastercharge, the RR retirement board, his credit union, etc. I printed off forms last night for him to sign for the IRS and his MN property tax for 2021 (he owned his last apt). Next I need to call to find out how he gets on the Moorhead voting list.
His memory isn't good but still does OK if I leave him written notes as reminders.
It's such a relief to have him so close.
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This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love; the more they give, the more they possess of that precious nourishing love from which flowers and children have their strength and which could help all human beings if they would take it without doubting. Rainer Maria Rilke
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Puffin that is such good news to hear. Sounds like your dad is on the way to a good life made even better now that you are near at hand. While he was more famaliar maybe with his owned apt. it sounds like having something a mite smaller may be easier yet for him. Seeing famaliar things ( un-packed and in place ) will surely help him adjust and making friends so quickly is just another bonus. Hoping it all contiues to go smoothly.
May have a spot rain this morning but doesn't sound like much to be concerned about. Glad for that. I went to the bank yesterday so not so much to do today. Dh says if it gets to 85 he will turn on the a/c. I hope it doesn't. I would love to be able to wait awhile, but moisture falling could bring up the humidity so we may have too. We can always turn it off if need be should things settle back. The night time temps are in the 60's so cool enough if you have a fan or two to push the cooler air around. I keep the fan in my room on but can put light covers on -- so right now that feels perfect.
Hope you will have a good Saturday.
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Puffin, you have been one busy lady with what sounds like a successful move. So good to be closer.
It is raining here, again! We need the rain but we also need a pause to be able to cut the grass. Our little dogs are getting belly tickles just walking around.
Need to do some cleaning and some cooking today. Expecting our grandson sometime today, the parents of his girlfriend recently moved to a small house just up the road from us and she is coming home for the weekend. No room at the house but he is welcome to bunk with us.
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Welcome to the newcomers who are now posting on this forum.
Puffin, glad your Dad's move is over and he is getting the chance to settle in to his new surroundings.
The saga with the parakeet family continues. One of the 4 eggs was broken the other day but the other 3 were still being sat on. I just noticed about 10 minutes ago that one has hatched and there is a very pink, naked baby in the cage. I did a quick cleanup of the cage and put in the cat food bowl I used last year to contain the baby. So one down and possibly two more to go. Mom was momentarily inconvenienced while I changed the cage but she has resumed her brooding. If she had not left the corner where she had moved the eggs, I would have missed the hatchling. She has been so diligent about sitting on these eggs, rotating them and virtually not leaving the bottom of the cage. I put a piece of paper towel in the bowl but Mom did not like it and has discarded it already. I will provide updates as I have time. If you could see the size of the egg in comparison to the hatchling, you'd wonder how they fit. So excited to watch them grow. I'll try to get some photos and post them.
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