Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Thank you for your reply and support. Not sure what happened to my original post. I think I inadvertently deleted it. Anyway, I appreciate your advice. It’s all so overwhelming right now.
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Hi lovely ladies, I haven't felt chatty for awhile, but will pipe up today.... I had a special experience yesterday. Took the 51 year old deaf/dumb daughter of a friend of mine (the friend is going blind slowly in another state) out to shop for pants. She is in an assisted living near me, I just found out last week. The daughter is sort of a loner. I can't afford to buy things for her, but could take her shopping. I drove her to Bealls Outlet and helped her try on clothing and shoes. Long process, took 3 hours. She is size 3X or so, and it's hard for her to find inexpensive clothes. Well really, it's hard for her to do most things. We were trying to discuss (with me talking as she can read lips pretty well, and her writing) if she should buy the sandals I found for her poor swollen feet, or the pants and top we found earlier (someone stole all her pants at a prior assisted living). Her shoes were in bad shape and she could barely walk in them. She decided to get the support sandals and we were going to put the clothing back. Then, another woman shopper approached and offered $20 to us to pay for the shoes. I was stunned and then as I explained to Jenny, we both started crying. It was the nicest thing ever. In the end, the woman (who is also named Jenny) paid for Jenny's sandals and clothing ($45 total) and called me an "angel" for helping Jenny.
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What a lovely story and a great ending to a day that was probably a delight for Jenny. She is blessed for knowing someone like you and for that other "Jenny".
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Hi wishiwasnthere - sorry you find yourself here. Adding to what Taco wrote, the nurses are a great resource as well. Once you start treatment, you often have the same nurse each time. Oncology centers also have a nurse line that you can call for questions or concerns. I know I made good use of mine. I also kept a treatment journal and always kept track of my questions and the doctors answers. Best of luck with your treatment.
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A human being is a part of the whole, called by us "Universe," a part limited in time and space. We experience ourselves, our thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest--a kind of optical illusion of our consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. Nobody is able to achieve this completely, but the striving for such achievement is in itself a part of the liberation and foundation for inner security.
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Cardplayer… thanks for the words of encouragement, and the advice. I’m learning as I go, as you all had to do. I appreciate the knowledge of others who have had to deal with this.
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wish I wasn't there -- glad you got back here. I think I did notice that you had a 'delete' and almost pm'ed you, but then thought maybe it would seem pushy if I did.
OldLadyBlue that is a fantastic story. I think there is a quote ( I'm sure since there is one for everything ) that talks about doing what you can -- and you certainly did. You were treated to some really special karma I think. A stranger helping other strangers. Of course, I wouldn't be me if I didn't say that it has a lot to do with why we are here. It is our ability to unify to help each other have enhanced lives. When we help someone else we are treated to 'gifts' money can't buy. Good for you and good for the other lady and there is one more grateful person in the world in your friend's daughter. What a beautiful world it gets to me when we can care for one another.
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Oldladyblue - what a wonderful story of generosity. So nice of you to take Jenny shopping. Sounds like she needed the outing and some new clothing.
Ran into a neighbor during our walk this morning. She and her husband are moving out if the area in the next day or two. It was nice to say goodbye. Will keep up with her via Facebook.
Otherwise it's a watch baseball and make soup for dinner kind of day. Enjoy you day.
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Pessimists see only the dark side of the clouds, and mope; philosophers see both sides, and shrug; optimists don't see the clouds at all--they're walking on them.
Leonard Louis Levinson
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old lady blue- it’s nice to see others helping others. Great story.
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Good Morning. Today marks the beginning of Gastroparesis Awareness Month. I've had Gastroparesis for 10 years and manage it with strict diet and medications. It's estimated that 5 million people suffer from Gastroparesis. If you want to learn more here's a link https://aboutgastroparesis.org/what-is-gastroparesis/common-questions-about-gastroparesis/
Had a busy morning. I needed to get blood work for my appointment with my neurologist next week. Walgreens near me has a Labcorp, so I was able to get an appointment and get my blood work complete. Went to Lowes and the grocery for a couple of things. Glad to be home relaxing. Bought a philodendron ivy (or it could be devils ivy) plant to replace the one the cats broke. DH bolted the planttable to the wall, so the cats won't be able to knock it over this time.
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So glad you put that link in cardplayer. Sounds like a rugged problem to have. Glad you seem to be able to exercise a whole lot of control over it. Just reminds me that we all have a 'cross' of some kind to bear. It has been found -- if we could trade out issues with someone else, it is more likely we'd keep our own. That is in response to thinking how hard it sounded to me to have what you do.
It is warmer today but still not the worse. Sun has been brighter. I think Kentucky is still struggling with the las t storm that went through. I just can't imagine.
I forgot to get my registratrion tags so had to cancel my appts. for today at Marion. Will get the tags tomorrow ( DMV closed today ) and then remake the appts. I should have made myself a note, but as usual was sure I wouldn't lose tract.
Hope you all have a really good day.
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oldladyblue, What a heart warming story. Thank you for sharing that.
wishiwasn'there - Welcome. We are a nice bunch. Check in during your treatment.
Cindy, It scare me that I might hit a deer. They come running out of the forest and I have seen them left by the side of the road after being hit.
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cardplayer - thanks for sharing the link. I had never heard of it. I am always impressed at how people manage to deal with dietary issues. My sister has celiac sprue and in the early years of her diagnosis she had a very difficult time finding gluten-free food. Much easier now, but she still needs to really read the ingredients for everything she buys.
A multi-tasking day - met with the ED of our CAM to talk about a community-wide food drive (9000 homes) on super bowl Sunday, dentist appointment, and almost 90 minutes in the bank trying to get the golf group checking account transferred to the new officers. I was stressed and hungry by the time I got home, to say the least,
Primary Day tomorrow in Arizona. Mail-in ballots with no excuses have been available for years here but I think the mud throwing will be ugly, whoever wins. The last time I voted in person was in 2008 and I remember voters winding round a dining room of a local Independent Living Complex while the poor residents tried to eat dinner.
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We must always remember that possessions have no inherent value. They become what we make them. If they increase our capacity to give, they become something good. If they increase our focus on ourselves and become standards by which we measure other people, they become something bad. When we seek a possession, we should ask ourselves if it will make us better people, more able to share, more willing to give, more capable of doing good in our daily lives. Possessions that increase our own sense of self-importance are empty in comparison to those that help us contribute something of value to the world.
Kent Nerburn0 -
Started laying pavers today on new fire pit area. I am about halfway done with them but had to think of a solution for exposed paver edges near the natural stone walls. Given that the natural stone has uneven edges for the most part, I will use other natural stone to cover paver edges and integrate it into the existing walls. We have plenty of stone to choose from and it should add some visual interest to the finish. Have one section I am not pleased with and will address those pavers tomorrow. It is very hot and humid again so I am trying to limit outdoor work to 2-3 hours max.
Did some mulching the other day and need to finish the large horseshoe shaped bed at the top of the driveway. I had finished the weeding there but still need to address the weeds on the "daffodil hill". Then I can use some thin layer of mulch there.
Living room drapes and sheers were returned about 2 weeks ago and they came yesterday to hang them. Took them a while to ensure they were level and then had to steam them to get out the wrinkles. They look really nice and it the living room is starting to take shape. They had a copy of the inventory of the items sent to them for cleaning in November 2019. There is a noted absence of one of the pillow shams that matched the comforter, they never received it so it must have been tossed. They were on the far side of the bedroom and should not have been wet or damaged because that side was fine. The bed skirt was sent to them but not returned and 2 black cushions (also sent to them) I had on a wicker chair are MIA. They received them but not returned so I am going to keep calling them about finding them. Most likely I will never recover them after such a long time in storage.
Furniture delivery is to be scheduled and I need to contact rug cleaner to return my rugs for the living room and dining room as well as the one that used to be in the family room. Then I can start debulking all that has been stored in either the dining room or the guest bedroom. It will be nice to start redecorating the living room and the foyer. I think the end is in sight and we may achieve this before the 3 year anniversary of the initial damage. Yeah!
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Betrayal, it is almost done!! Can you write a book about this experience and the frustration? Maybe with reflections on the owners of a home and community destroyed by flood or fire or tornado? You deserve to celebrate for a week.
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Thanks, Mary. I am sure I have bored the pants off of some of you with the trials and tribulations of this nearly 3 year journey to get my home back. I wasn't planning on this being my retirement project and unpaid to boot. My plan was to buy a Regal movie pass and go to movies as often as I wanted but the house and Covid changed that plan. I have learned patience and forbearance if nothing else. Not much you can do when it is the restoration company that has the poor scheduling issues and not being able to coordinate repairs. My insurance company has been helpful in that they covered all the expenses including emergency clothing and replacement of items that were destroyed. True, they would not pay for offsite storage but they would have covered renting a place to stay but then what would I do with my menagerie and for this length of time? They have restored my home to its former state and that was my objective; nothing more but nothing less either. I feel for others that have had losses due to storms, floods or fire. You do feel helpless and unfortunately are at the mercy of others when you are in this situation. However, my best advice would be to express your displeasure at every opportunity, remain steadfast in achieving your objectives and to not express anger, just displeasure as statement of facts.
Noticed that one of the cream sheers has a rust colored stain on it and now need to see if I can remove it. It was not on there prior to the home damage and I have no idea what caused it but it seems dry cleaning did not get it out. Water did not work. Guess I will call them about it to see if they have any ideas. It is on one of the pleats and at first I thought it might have been from the steamer but not sure. It's on the front double window so I can't swap it out. Never ends, it seems.
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Betrayal, you didn't bore me one second although sometimes I did feel it seeming almost un-bearable. You did give great advice about speaking about displeasure rather than talking in an "angry" way and voice. That part would be very hard for me. I think I mentioned that I discovered very late that my 5 yr. pill ( anastrozole ) was causing me to become instantly quite angry about sometimes the smallest things. So my admiration only grew reading how you kept going through I know great disapppointments and heavy frustrations. I'm really happy for you that over 9 10ths. of the tunnel is actually behind you now.
Hope the 'rust' spot turns out to be able to be disappeared easy.
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Good morning, insomnia again. I don't understand why I wake 5 hours after I go to sleep still very tired. Ugh. I keep trying new remedies, but nothing works well and predictably.
Thank you Betrayal, Illinoislady, Cardplayer, Cindyny and Petite1 for the comments on my story of helping Jenny. It was a special day. Yesterday I finally reached her mother by phone in MA to tell her the story. She doesn't know how to use a cell phone well, and can't see to text. She was tickled her daughter went out with me, and for the help we received from the other Jenny.
I'm still second guessing myself a bit for stopping my AIs, but I feel soooooooooo much better physically that the second guessing is slowly dying away. I truly wish the side effects hadn't been so awful for me and am glad that they aren't that way for everyone.
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Betrayal, I am so happy for you. It has been a long journey for you. Thank you for sharing it along the way.
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I, too have that problem, ladyblue. They think it is pain. So best to accept it and continue to use mild pain relievers and take naps.
So glad you could help someone.
So, now off to a friend's clothesline. Then back home for a nap.
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We restore the holiness of the world through our loving-kindness and compassion. Everyone participates. It is a collective task. Every act of loving-kindness, no matter how great or small, repairs the world. All those ever born have shared this collective work since the beginning of time.
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I don't usually have much trouble sleeping but have noticed it being a bit more difficult. I think mine is likely related to an odd medication schedule -- having to wait at times till my blood pressure permits, to take my mdications -- so being up much later than I have been for yrs. Out of boredom 'waiting' I spend too much time on the computer. Guess that will give me an avenue to work on -- staying away from the computer and settling for boring television.
Pain is difficult for a lot of people to sleep through. Dh has the issue, so I've been aware of it for a long time. He settled on pain meds when he has too and melatonin every night. It is the best he can do and he gets 6 hrs. usually and at times a bit more. He also naps easily -- in most cases very eaily. It is not fun to "feel" un-rested and I do hope everyone finds a solution that at least helps to a degree, if you can't find an optimum one.
Hot today, but I think tolerable. At least I hope so. Hope that is what all of you have as well.
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betrayal- love hearing about your renovation progress and seeing the pictures. Enjoy hearing what's happening with the ladies in this topic. oldladyblue - maybe we should start an insomnia topic on BCO. I had trouble sleeping last night, too. May try to nap this afternoon.
Had my DEXA scan today and already received the results. They scanned my forearms and lumbar spine since I have titanium in both hips. I've lost some bone density in my right forearm. They had a baseline from two years ago. Still within normal ranges though.Enjoy your day.
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Hooray cardplayer -- within normal limits sounds fantastic. I do note as well that while some have osteopenia, you can have that for yrs. if it changes.
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Cardplayer, you were late to the party since you are a recent newcomer to this forum so I will try to catch you up. I wish it had been a renovation, but it is a restoration from major tree damage to my home originally occurring on November 1, 2019. There was significant damage that was to take 3-6 months to "fix" but then Covid occurred and the restoration company has dragged this "restoration" out since July of 2020 when they resumed work. It has been nothing but a series of "hurry up and wait" due to poor planning on their part, taking the gutters off the house (that were connected to an underground mitigation system) and then not doing the roof or re-guttering before Isaias hit 2 weeks later. So the minimal damage to the finished basement (a few sections of flooring which we had) became "let's replace walls and the entire floor" due to flooding of the kiddie pool variety. So we have been living in a storage container like house for all this time with items from damaged rooms stored in intact rooms or the garage. It has been taxing physically and mentally but I have tried to find bright spots while awaiting the contractors who were not consistently sent to repair the house. There is a punch list of items they still need to fix or replace such as the door handle for the master bedroom which they managed to break. It is not repairable as the carpenter who was sent to "fix it" learned.
Bright note, my living room furniture will be returned Friday and then I will be able to unbox items I haven't seen in years. So while we are having this next heat wave I get to reassemble this room. I think this has also been taxing because I feel like the live-in cleaning crew. When they did send a team to clean up after the workers, I ended up cleaning up after them. Sorry sawdust debris doesn't pass muster. So I will gladly resign from being the on-site superintendent once they are done to my satisfaction, and while I do not mind cleaning my house, I just hate cleaning up after contractors. Hard to keep your house clean when contractors are in and out.
Glad your Dexa scan was good news.
Hope everyone has a good day tomorrow. I hope to finish the fire pit tomorrow. I need one more row of pavers, line the edges with natural stone to integrate into the walls and decide where the large pieces of flagstone will go. This has been a very challenging project but one where I am pleased with my efforts. To be honest, I'd rather do this than dust! I will post pictures.
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Yes, Mcbaker, maybe it IS pain that wakes me after 5 hours or so in bed, as I always feel achey when I wake up whether it is 5 hours or 7 hours. I just feel so much better emotionally after 7 hours.
What do you mean off to a friend's clothesline?
Hope you had a good nap. Maybe I'll have to learn how to nap. I also have nap insomnia, so hard to fall asleep in the daytime.
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I've been "cheating" a bit the past couple of days by popping a Celebrex at bedtime--waking up from 8 solid hours of sleep with my back requiring only minor stretches and my hip/groin behaving itself. Experimenting tonight by skipping the Celebrex to see what happens.
What keeps me from awakening mid-sleep (other than a dawn tibial cramp or having to temporarily get up and answer the "pee dream:" the one where I keep desperately looking for the rest room that either doesn't exist or whose toilet hss been replaced by a chair) is taking CBD along with my night meds an hour before bedtime and then a CBN capsule literally the last thing I do before getting into bed (where Heidi usually and vocally insists on tucking me in). The CBD (and my Baclofen antispasmodic) makes me sleepy and the CBN lets me stay asleep, without the morning "hangover" that comes with either an indica THC edible, Benadryl/Unisom or a Lyrica. I know it's time for bed when I start yawning and not wanting to finish my late-night posting here--or even nodding off during TV shows. (It also helps that I wear an Always Discreet night pad, in case the "pee dream" lasts awhile). Last night I turned in at 2:30 am; Heidi woke me at 5:30 for another nuzzle-kneading session and I rolled over. to enjoy an unusually pleasant dream..next thing I knew it was noon! (Fortunately, nowhere I had to be, and the gloomy pre-storm skies were good for sleep).
My dreams, beside the aforementioned pee dream, always seem to involve some form of travel, performance or both. I no longer get the one where I find myself back in high school or even college, the day before a final or term paper in a course for which I'd forgotten I'd registered but needed the credits to graduate.That one always enda with the realization I didn't need a diploma because not only did I already have a college but also a law degree, so I wake up. The travel dream usually begins with preparing to depart for the flight home (from some exotic destination) but realizing I'd never finish packing in time...but when I do get to the airport I barely have time to find the gate and then have physical difficulty climbing into the plane and reaching my seat (which always turns out to be first-class). The performance aspect is usually when I find myself suddenly thrust onatage for a gig nobody told me I had and I have absolutely no idea of a set list. A shrink would have a field day--yearning for yet fear of change, fear of dying, "impostor syndrome," etc. I never get the topless-or-naked-in-public or teeth-falling-out nightmares any more.
One I sometimes do get is the "sideways elevator" dream, during which I marvel "whoa, how come nobody'd invented this before?" I used to get the one where I was in a luxe high-rise apt. with floor-to-ceiling windows and saw tornadoes approaching from several directions...those stopped once I first encountered an actual twister. The travel dreams I like are the ones where I'm in a city that combines streets & landmarks from a variety of cities where I've not only visited but lived. I can almost construct that mashup-city from memory. It must be how Scott Turow devised the map of the fictional Midwest Kindle County & Kindle City in which his legal-thriller novels are set. "Kindle" seems an amalgam of Chicago, Joliet, Milwaukee & St. Louis.
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Sleeping: relax, blank your mind (stop thinking), don't move. Works really quick for me, usually.
I, too have a repeating dream that I had forgotten I had signed up for, did not go to class, and did nothing once I had found out about it, which was coming in from all directions. close to the end of the term. The professor had a bad reputation for being irritable and rigid. It was something boring, about the mechanics of writing, which is odd, because as a senior in high school I actually enjoyed diagraming sentences. The not necessary was not a cop-out in this case, because I was an English major.
Sandy, I have had that dream about high in the sky with tornadoes in Kansas City (and area), where I lived for maybe ten years total.
These skirts are silk and synthetics which must be washed gently in pillowcases and line-dried. I don't have a clothesline. I am very busy getting ready for a crafts sale.
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