Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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The art of thanksgiving is thanksliving. It is gratitude in action. It is applying Albert Schweitzer's philosophy: "In gratitude for your own good fortune you must render in return some sacrifice of your life for other life." It is thanking God for the gift of life by living it triumphantly. It is thanking God for your talents and abilities by accepting them as obligations to be invested for the common good. It is thanking God for happiness by striving to make others happy. It is thanking God for beauty by helping to make the world more beautiful. It is thanking God for inspiration by trying to be an inspiration for others. It is thanking God for health and strength by the care and reverence you show your body. It is thanking God for each new day by living it to the fullest. It is adding to your prayers of thanksgiving, acts of thanksliving. -Wilferd A. Peterson
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Good morning. It is warm today and pleasant for my walk. I have a few errands to run and that is about it for today.
Betrayal, I am short legged and long waisted, too. The last suit I bought (for my mom's funeral) the pants were too big and the jacket too small. I took up the pants and left the jacket open.
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It is best for me to try the different combinations they sometimes have on the rack. That prevents me from having tops or bottoms that don't fit.
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With my long legs and short torso, as well as generally needing a larger top than bottom, I always shopped separates to get a good fit. When my workplace went to business casual, happily only needed a couple of suits for Board meetings or similar business meetings. Retired now, so donated these to a local charity, "Dress for Success", along with lots of other business like attire.
Now, I wear more exercise leggings and tops than anything else. Weather is warming up nicely here in N Kentucky.
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Oh, what I would give for long legs. I used to work with a woman who I swore had legs long enough to run into her arm pits and she was a real clothes horse. She was average height as well and could wear clothes off the rack. I have always had to shorten bottoms or skirts even if they state they are made for petites. I have opted for separates even for suits where I can because I need regular for tops. The petite tops can be too short when I raise my arms and the sleeves can be too narrow. I have a muscular arm from years of lifting patients so the sleeves can sometimes be too snug. I used to hem my own pants but sometimes what I had to cut off was substantial so I switched to using a tailor so the leg bottom didn't look odd.
Regan goes for her second behavior training lesson tonight and has done well with sit/stay with me increasing the distance over the week. Still working on "paw" but she is getting better at giving me her left paw. She was reluctant to share this one but would offer the right with no issue. She loves baby carrots so they are the bribe I use for "paw".
They carted off the last of the ash today and the aspect of the backyard has really changed with the removal of 4 trees. It seems more open but it will take until spring to see how much shade we have lost. I may be able to add plants that don't quite require as much shade which would be wonderful.
Happy Thanksgiving to all who post here and thanks for all the support that is shared on this forum by such wonderful women. Hope everyone has a wonderful holiday.
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Lets see. I have long legs, and torso. I was the tallest girl in grade-school. In high school only two or three were taller than me. I also have mostly long, thin bones. When I got up to weighing 220 #'s no one believed me. I really didn't like carrying extra wt. around, and it was actually harder to find clothes to fit well. i also have one leg (I think almost everyone does), longer than the other. It was noticeable and I was so glad to start wearing jeggings. It is much harder to tell, and I do not have to have the bottoms of my jeans and slacks fooled with.
Most of the time I got along okay, but my problem is I have not only no make-up sense, but no clothing sense either. While I buy a few things from time to time, I get a lot of my clothing at Goodwill. That way if I make a real mistake, it usually isn't costly.
Had a good day today are the Cardiologists office. He is upping my Carvedilol to the full dosage. He later on plans to change the Losartan to another heart med. He seems to be quite happy with where I am at the moment. I will go back and see him in about a month. It is such a godsend that the V.A. is working on getting a system where many of the Dr's to out to the satellite clinics to see people. It is just under a 150-mile rd. trip so not only has it been costly at times on gas prices. It has removed as much as four hrs. gone from home and work that is waiting for my return.
Hope you all had a wonderful day and have the same tomorrow for Thanksgiving. Having you here is indeed something I'm very grateful and thankful for. Someone, or in this case, lots of someones, have helped me along the way easing my fright and discomforts and filling my life with a large group of admirable people. Thank You.
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Deciding to be grateful for our situation, our experiences, our unique perspective, quickly changes our outlook on everything that did happen, on everything that is happening now, and on everyone we meet. Accepting that we are in charge of whatever kind of day we will have forces us to accept responsibility for our joy, which can always be ours, or our unhappiness. And being grateful feels so good. Gratitude is an attitude, and I can feel it whenever I want. -unattributed
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Happy Thanksgiving.
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Happy Thanksgiving to all who post on this thread, and those who read it without posting.
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Happy Thanksgiving 🥧🍴
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I have Grade 3, Stage 11b, HR/PR+, HERS-2-. 4/7 positive lymph nodes. My confusion is whether to skip chemo or not given the low percentage efficacy. Anyone have this experience?
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Welcome Lovestopaint to the place no one wants to be. I did not do chemo, just radiation, but my lymph nodes were negative. It is a difficult decision. Talk with your doctor, do research and check the many sources of information available on this website.
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I hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving! Mine was peaceful, quiet and low stress which is exactly what I hoped for. The crockpot turkey breast was so easy and delicious!
On the downside, my BIL's wife fell and broke her leg again. She fell in September and broke the same leg badly, healed well and quickly, maybe a little too quickly? We didn't get more information than that, and that she is in the hospital, but my husband will make calls today to find out more. They live in MI, where my husband was from. He was born and raised on a 200+ acre farm.
My daughter had a nice Thanksgiving in WI with her in-laws. They are flying home today. I think working remotely and ordering things online for their new puppy they're picking up on Saturday, helped her anxiety over her MIL. I am glad because family is family. It is hard to be nice to someone you may not care for, but if they are family, I believe one should accept the person for who they are (assuming they don't have extreme issues) and bite your tongue. Her MIL is nice, just different and caused some major issues before my DD and SIL were married. She isn't a mean person, and she is my grandchildren's other grandmother, so I really care that things go well when they are all together. My DD sent me a photo of my grandkids and they look so happy, which of course makes me happy!
I was also able to FaceTime with my granddaughters in the mid-west. I am truly thankful for FaceTime! I don't know exactly how I will get to see them in 2023, but I know I will! Three years of not seeing my sone and his family, is three years too long! Thank you Covid! Ugh!
Wednesday, we bought our live Christmas tree. We always get it either the day before or day after Thanksgiving, then put it in water in our garage until we are ready to set it up and decorate it. We always get a Fraser Fir, because it has strong branches that hold heavier ornaments, and it has amazing needle retention. It was a struggle this year. My husband has a really hard time getting around. He insisted he could handle getting the tree with me, but I know it might be our last year of doing this, or at least, of getting a 6-7' tree. I am okay with that.
Today is my traditional day to decorate the house for Christmas. I should say, the day to START decorating the house for Christmas. I am glad I pushed my date to go back to work to mid-December. I just don't have the energy I had pre-surgery yet, but it I do feel I am getting it back slowly. I won't feel pressure of getting the house decorated in limited time. Everything seems to take me twice as long to do right now.
Next week, I have two doctor appointments, PCP on Tuesday, PS for fill, on Wednesday. I am looking forward to having all the reconstructive things done with so I can concentrate on moving forward! I gave a bit of thought about working one more year, but even though it would increase my pension a good bit, I know in my heart that pushing myself just for the money, would not be good. I turn 70 in the summer and I am ready to do something else.
I hope all who were headed to Florida or winter homes in the south, arrived safely!
Happy Friday Everyone!!!
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My heart is a home for love. I open my heart to compassion, to charity, to respect, and to recognition. I encounter those I meet with openness and with respect. I honor the path that each is walking. I salute in all that I encounter the dignity of God. All differences, all difficulties, are noticed but not condemned. I respect the individuality of every soul. I accept our equality and our brotherhood. -Julia Cameron
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lovestopaint, I very much agree with petites advice. It is a personal thing and though I had clean margins and no lymph node involvement, I went ahead and did all the chemo recommended as well as the 5 yr. pill recommendation. I wanted to take advantage of everything that might offer a possible increase in good ned results. Not only for myself, but to also give comfort to my family.
Maverick, it is good to hear your Thanksgiving was positive save for your BIL's wife having another broken leg (same one recently broken). I hope there is a fix for it that will enhance bone strength wile healing. Nice too that your daughter was able to have a good visit with her MIL. and the kids could enjoy their other grandma. This always has the possibility of being problematic when there is a fair amt. of difference in personalities and life responses when quite different. Hopefully traversing the fine line in a successful manner will continue.
We had a VERY nice laid-back day. Our only issue was losing our Internet and t.v. for a while. Something hit the house and apparently pulled the line down. We had to wait about three hours, but then the Spectrum guy showed up on time, fixed the outdoor wiring and put a new router in as that, even though not that old seemed to have turned up some problem when the power surge and blow-out took place.
We have great leftovers to look forward too. Yun. Hope you all have a really good time, whatever you did, and whomever you were with. It is always wonderful to be grateful together with everyone.
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I won't be putting up my decorations until Sunday, the first Sunday of Advent. A friend of mine and his mother and I went to the local community Thanksgiving dinner. We walked there (and my knee is hurting) and had a pleasant meal. I need to get busy writing. I still need to cook that Cornish hen I got. Recipe says to cover any area without skin with some bacon.
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I hope everyone had an enjoyable Thanksgiving. We had a lovely time with our family at my cousins home. It was nice to see my aunts and uncle, cousins, brother and SIL. Unfortunately my son and DIL were sick and couldn’t attend.
Sorry you find your self here lovestopaint. I know things move quickly sometimes when you get your diagnosis. I followed the advice of my breast surgeon and oncologist. I did chemo, mastectomy and then targeted treatment as recommended for the type of BC I had. I’ve been on AI drug for two years. I’m taking all of the recommended treatments.
Sorry to hear about your BILs wife maversmom. I hope she’s able to recover quickly.
If you shop at Amazon for your holiday gifts, remember to use smile.Amazon.com so that you can donate to your favorite charity while you shop.
Have a great afternoon.
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Lovestopaint - None of us chose this route but we try to muddle along and support each other. What is your MO recommending? Only you can decide what "odds" are comfortable for you. I don't think I would make the same decision I made 6 years ago because I'm six years older and DH is not in good health. Things to consider are your age, general health, and family history. The women in my family have a history of dementia which I'm more afraid of than more cancer. I did chemo as I was HER2+ but I won't do AI's again.
Fill in your profile and make each item public. Your post didn't say whether you have already had surgery, which influences how soon you have to decide. Keep asking questions until you are comfortable with your decision and then don't look back. Ask for a second opinion if that will help clarify the pro and cons.
Stay close.
Taco
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Feeling sad. Today I got a response to a letter I wrote to Fox Chase Cancer Center in Phila., where I was refused a bilateral mastectomy in 2019 due to a policy of not removing a healthy breast. Well, it turns out there never was such a policy. My breast surgeon at the time, Dr. D. lied to me and to my husband who was with me!
I thought I might be helping others if I wrote to Fox Chase and asked for them to review their policy. Nope. Today I found out that not only was it not their policy, but the letter states also that the doctor I had "performed those procedures himself!" I feel like someone smacked me in the face!
I don't think I will ever trust a doctor again. I am not even sure if I will continue to see my breast surgeon, MO or plastic surgeon once I go back to work. I don't want another surgery. I will be fine with a partially filled expander. I don't need to do an implant exchange. My body has been sufficiently mutilated.
I had avoided doctors for years. I feel that is where I am headed again. This isn't the first time a doctor lied to me. I am not sure any of them tell me the truth.
I go back to work on the 14th of December. I will just make the excuse that I need to see my work schedule before I make any more appointments. Then I just won't make any more appointments. They won;t even notice I am not there! It is a revolving door at the plastic surgeons office, they have enough patients to keep them busy. The only doctor I will continue to see is my cardiologist. I have seen him for years and he has never lied to me, at least not yet.
I have two appointments next week. One is with the plastic surgeon for a fill, I need to keep that so I can get my letter to go back to work. But once I am back at work, there won't be any pressure on me to see any doctor!
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Mavericksmom, I cannot understand why your doctor lied, it's an appalling thing to happen to you. It is no wonder you are devasted and have no trust in your doctor. Unfortunately there are rogues in every profession, can you go to another hospital /doctor for your check ups? 15 years ago, I wish I had both breasts removed, but I was never offered a double mastectomy. I did not know much about metestatic disease, did not know what questions to ask and information wasn't as readily available. I hope you get signed off to go back to work and wish you well.
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This is quite odd, that your surgeon was doing bilateral mastectomies when only one was cancerous. I hope you can get over the anger and hurt. There has to have been a reason. I hope it wasn't because he had a rushed schedule that day.
I was glad to be done with the expander. I am sure you will get the exchange done eventually.
I was never asked, and righty had always been troublesome, and lefty had always done her duties well. I wanted a mastectomy rather than a lumpectomy because I wanted to be done with it. My MO reminded me that lefty still could develop a cancer of its own.
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I am feeling better about all of it now that I wrote a letter in response to it. All of it is water over the dam now. I can't change what happened or why.
I am not currently being treated at that hospital thank goodness. I will never set foot in there again! Perhaps there is a silver lining in this, or at least I hope so. My current PS wants to do mapping of my left arm where I have severe lymphedema. He wants to do that when he does the exchange surgery. I have always been fearful of that mostly because Lymhedema treatments still aren't covered by Medicare. There is current legislation for payment for garments, but that isn't my concern, my concern is getting slammed with mega medical bills because I gave permission for a surgery or procedure they won't cover. He keeps saying they code it so the insurance will pay. I don't trust him when it comes to insurance issues. I don't want him messing with something that isn't causing me harm in the first place. Kind of like "let well enough alone!"
Anyway, I am definitely NOT having anything done with my lymphedema! I don't even care that I have it anymore, it's been 20 years! I wear oversized long sleeve shirts all year round to hide my arm. It works for me.
I don't know if I will go through with the expander surgery or not, but now isn't the time for me to decide. I need to rid my thoughts of all things breast cancer and concentrate on the holidays.
While their letter did rekindle my mistrust of doctors, I am ok with that too. Honestly, once I get back to work, I only need to see my cardiologist. The only reason I see him is because he monitors my BP and I have a fear of having a stroke and being a burden to my family. As for my MO and BS, their visits are far and few between. I will keep seeing them, but I will let them do all the talking and get in and out as quickly as possible.
I will keep my doctor appointments this coming week. I am seeing the NP at my PCP's office, which is who I prefer to see anyway. As for the plastic surgeon, I am keeping my mouth shut and only answering any questions he asks me. It is only for a fill anyway.
I am sorry for venting here. I promise, I won't bring this up again. I will keep it to what I love reading about here, normal lives, good times, family events, community events, weather and travel destinations! Thank you for your kind responses and all of your daily comments! I love this online community!
The sun is out, time to think positive and let go of what I can't do anything about!
Have a great weekend everyone!
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Right here is the place to do your venting and air your frustrations. That is what it was set up for. Vent away!
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What is time? The shadow on the dial, the striking of the clock, the running of the sand, day and night, summer and winter, months, years, centuries--these are but arbitrary and outward signs, the measure of Time, not Time itself. Time is the Life of the Soul.
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Maverick, Mary is soooo right. We are here to hopefully lift you up by having willing ears and wide open hearts. Each person will encounter a lot of different things on the cancer road. Even if we don't have an answer, we can listen and offer our camaraderie, since we all have the same basic problem. We learn through our sameness as well as what is different. I can't say for sure what helps most, but knowing you are not alone, and someone has heard you makes a far less lonely road.
I wonder if your Cardiologist might have a possible recommendation. I'm baffled by why a Dr. would take opposing views and actions. He may have had a reason, but sure should have shared it with you, if that were the case. Hoping for the best comfortable solution for you.
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Mavericksmom- I second what Mary said, it’s ok to vent here anytime, you’ve been through a lot. HUGS
Lovestopaint- I had 5 nodes, all clear. As others have said you need to ask questions to your MO, and feel comfortable with the answers or get a second opinion. There also maybe a forum on here re chemo vs no chemo.
Betrayal - Escape to the Chateau I also enjoyed. Haven’t seen it in quite a while so I’ll check it out on Peacock. I have a cousin with a lot of turmoil in her life, she said it’s her “go to” to relax.
Long legs - I’m a long legged one. Back in the day I could wear a bridesmaid gown off the rack, w heels, and no alterations. Saved myself a lot of money especially when I had no extra to spend. I’d get some sales on “long” dress pants and maybe a handful of times need a tailor. Looking back, I was fortunate. I think my inseam is longer than my partners.
Thanksgiving - we had our dinner at stepsons family house in Texas the week before the actual date. Arrived in FL Tuesday, normal chaos of arrival plus Ian remains. For Thanksgiving we went with a roaster chicken already cooked at BJ’s and all regular side dishes. A pecan pie from our realtor topped off a great lazy day meal. FaceTime w family and we were good. I’m also thankful for all you ladies!
We spent some time yesterday sitting on the front walkway picking out dead leaves from the stone cover. We replaced the mulch w stone last season which meant they were still there upon our return. This morning I went out for the newspaper in my robe and realizing it wasn’t too hot (75) I started picking shingles out of the planting along the side and back of the house. Neighbors had picked up majority of it right after the storm, but as wind or other rain come through more shingles hit the ground. Today as temperatures climb I’m thinking to take out the little power washer to do the front & back walk as well as both lanai’s. I’ll put a bathing suit on and be a vision of loveliness. HA! There’s more work here than in NY.
Wishing everyone a great weekend, with great shopping deals even if from you own couch.
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I had a box coming in the mail. It was supposed to be two saris that I bought from a woman who had been making wrap skirts, etc from saris. She was selling her whole collection. It wasn't selling. EVERYTHING that I had ever said I liked. Close to a dozen! Theoretically $275 worth. I am going--------
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mavericksmom - sorry to hear about your experience with your former surgeon. So awful that he didn’t provide you with the best medical advice and care. This is a safe place to vent, so please feel free to vent.
Sounds like you won the sari lottery Mcbaker!
We’ve had a couple of days of beautiful weather - upper 50s and sunny, great for walking outside. Walked around the lake, now watching football.
Hope everyone has a wonderful afternoon
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CindyNY: Glad you have reached FL even if you have a new "to-do" list to tackle. Dick and Angela Strawbridge have a new series where they assist others with DIY projects. This is therapy for me as well. They are both so creative and I am learning new tricks from her as I watch the show.
Mavericksmom: By the time I had my "completion (2nd) lumpectomy", I learned that my BS was not invested in women nor their outcomes though he talked a good game. He was on the board of a local BC support group so I thought he was the one to pick. He is one of the reasons I use the moniker Betrayal because he, as well as my RO, taught me that some physicians talk out of the sides of their mouths and are not to be trusted. I fired him when he removed the stitches from my second surgery and the RO at my last follow-up visit when I revealed to her how betrayed by her I felt after she strung me along for 18 months. Only then did I realize that their treatments caused the mutilation that could not be repaired by PS. She still wanted to do follow-ups but I could no longer trust her and hope I never need an RO again. I found radiation to be so traumatic even tot his day. I love my MO because she has been nothing but supportive and explains the pros and cons of every decision I've had to make about my care. So vent away, this is the place to do it without judgment from any of. All we will offer is support.
Mary: You have won the sari lottery and now that you have, just a reminder to come up for air from your sewing machine occasionally and walk Tippy so you both remain mobile. With this lucky happenstance, maybe you should also buy a lottery ticket?
I hate how you can no longer roll back to the previous page without losing your post, so welcome to the newcomer because I forgot to write down the names of those I wanted to respond to.
We are predicted get heavy rain tomorrow so I have an organizational project I have started but it still needs several hours to complete. We have these large pantry type cabinets in each of the bathrooms upstairs and they have pullout drawers (lower section) as well as shelves in the upper cabinet. They need a good sorting and reorganization of toiletries, etc. So the master bath is first since it has the most in contents. I would like to reduce the contents by at least 25% but would be happy if I can get closer to 50%.
Regan did well in her second class but still is nervous around other dogs. By the end of class she is not shaking but still not eager to sniff the other dogs. She now has decided that giving me both paws is not so painful and I just have to say "paw" to get her to give me them alternately. So we will still work on this but look for another skill to add. She is getting more settled in the house as well though still confined to the family room-kitchen areas until there are no accidents due to miscommunication or timing. She loves my DD and DSIL. They came yesterday to take her for a long walk which she loved. She did get in the dining room on Thanksgiving and of course was hoping for someone to drop food but that seldom happens unless the grandchildren are here.
I avoid Black Friday and have been shopping online for Christmas. Trying to buy gifts they will not purchase for themselves and yet will welcome as a present. DD wants new bath towels and I know that she will not buy what she considers "good ones" due to cost. So check, that is done. DS and DDIL needed a new mattress, so check that is done after I sent them to store to find one they liked. It is their respective birthday and Christmas gifts this year as well but they are happy with that trade-off.
Hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving and has a good weekend.
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Betrayal, wow, we have similar stories. In 2003 when I had IDC, my first breast cancer, my surgeon was great, but the RO was horrible! She was so mean to me, told me not to use anything on my breast other than was with Ivory soap! She said she would say what and when to use anything else. I had 33 rounds of rads, by day 21 the technician went to put the plastic cup on my breast which was blistered and oozing and she immediately took it off and told me she would not do radiation to me until I was checked by the MO. Luckily, Dr. T. was absent that day, and the other RO looked at me and gave me cream to put on my breast. I had an appointment the following day with my MO and he nearly hit the ceiling when he saw what they did to me! He gave me a new prescription for the cream and told me I wasn't to go back for radiation until he said I could! I am pretty sure he gave her a piece of his mind!
That came back to haunt me again after I had my ILC in the same breast and had mastectomy and DIEP reconstruction. My breast had large open wounds that had black crusty areas. I had my surgery in January 2019, and it didn't stop bleeding until July!
Yep, got to watch out for the doctor liars!
Finding out my former BS lied to me came at a bad time. I have been feeling more and more depressed which is very out of character for me. I think it is being back on Letrozole, not necessarily the drug, but the changing of my hormones that the drug is supposed to do. I have been on it for 3 weeks and it started after about a week and got progressively worse. I will tell my PCP when I see her on Tuesday and will call my MO if she thinks I should.
I did all my Christmas shopping online too. The only gifts I need to get are small gifts for co-workers. I usually get some kind of food for them.
I usually start decorating the house the day after Thanksgiving. My DH got the bins out for me, but I did nothing yesterday and only hung stained glass decorations on my bow window in the living room. I am so glad I am not going back to work on Monday as I originally planned. I would be so stressed over not having the decorations up and bins put away! I just have no energy to do it. Bouncing back after surgery is a lot harder than I expected it would be.
DD and DSIL adopted the puppy today. He is so cute and the grandkids are thrilled. I haven't seen it yet but not in a hurry to either. I can't have puppy paws jumping up at me. He is a big boy at 14 weeks. Looks like a golden-doodle but was supposed to be poodle and Bernese Mt. dog. Doesn't matter, he will be loved no matter what he is.
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