Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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While ideas such as discipline and focus are undeniably important, so is the idea of having fun. With a small amount of effort, we can extract all the fun and joy out of most parts of our lives--our relationships, our work, even our leisure time. We can put so many restrictions and should's on everything we do that our very lives become dull, overly ponderous, and routine. Before long, we find ourselves living up to a set of rules--and we're not certain where the rules came from or whose they are. Let yourself go. Have a little fun with life. Or, have a lot of fun with life. If you've spent years being extremely disciplined, reliable, and somber, maybe part of achieving balance is having a decade of fun.
Melody Beattie0 -
Illinois lady - I second that!!!!!
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Good morning.
Bright and sunny here. Later on tonight it will rain and that is what will remain all through Thurs. and Fri. The bright spot is that though the temps will fall, it won't be drastically so for this time of yr. So, that will help keep me going -- that and the beautiful light Di sent me that saves my sanity -- or at least any I might have previously had.
Teka, loved your posts ( April Fool's ) -- sometimes you really have to feel that way don't you ???
Joan, that was so fantastic that you could reach into yourself and find a way to take a negative and turn it to positive. Though we all seem to have those capabilities -- sometimes our spirit just can't quite span the distance. I'm so thrilled you were able too. You never know just exactly the right thing to do. I know of someone ( man and wife ) who while it was the second marriage for both had triplets. Things were not working out and there was a separation --- after one of the triplets ( the boy ) made the remark that he just wanted life to be how it had been -- the people reunited -- for the sake of the kids. Now they are all graduating school and will ALL be heading for a life in the military. I have often pondered how they see their life now!!!!!!!! I mean they were fairly young when the separation came but through the yrs. I'm sure gained a lot in understanding and rationality that was not nearly as possible in the beginning. I guess I'm thinking myself --- would I look back and think of it as the BIG SHAM or would I see as a deep love for myself that the folks would stay together even though they didn't love one another and were doing who knows what on the side, which is what I think these people did. Sometimes there are NO easy answers.
I had hoped to take an Onco score test, but the V.A. didn't routinely do it, so I had to go without. I so didn't want to do chemo, but I'd have likely had to anyhow. It was just that at first when all they thought was there was the Papillary tumor ( very lazy and slow growing ) my MO/surgeon thought I'd only have a very minor amt. of radiation ( may be a wk. ) and no chemo at all. During my lumpectomy when the second much larger aggressive tumor was found -- all bets were off and so chemo became a really have too -- along with the rads ( 7 full weeks ). I survived but I was sort of miserable that it tuned out the way it did. NOW -- well, now I'm grateful that I had such an excellent surgeon that KNEW to make sure while she had me on the operating table that EVERYTHING that needed to come out, did !!!!
We all just do the best we can and some of that is just deciding whether you have faith in your medical team. I had a lot of it. I well recall that after talking to my MO/surgeon for the first time ( she left the office to get something ) my husband and I both looked at each other and said almost simultaneously that she ( Dr. Ryan ) had the healer's aura. She has no idea the level of comfort she was able to impart to me. After coming around on surgery day and hearing that a second much more aggressive tumor had been found Dh and I were positive ( and still are ) that she saved my life. When I look back through the years preceding my eventual diagnosis --- I can see how many different steps led up to my diagnosis and tx.
I in fact, ended up with the Dr.'s I did because we lost our medical Ins. right before and I then signed onto the services at the V.A. When I look back I often wonder if the Dr.'s I had in another tiny little town ( similar to the one I live in ) would have done as well -- and who knows. I just know that circumstances happened in such a way that I ended up with someone who saved my life. I don't look at that as a stoke or luck or happy circumstance. It was truly MEANT.
Ok, time to get busy with some more of my day. I am sometimes far too fond of letting my fingers talk here. If I didn't mention your name -- I am none-the-less thinking of you and caring about you. I hope your day is as sunny and bright as it is right now here in southern Illinois.
See you all later.
Blessings
Jackie
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Something i always do when i get a cramp is get up n walk on it, the cramp goes away
Hp gc hope it was a good day
Welcome any newbies
Eyes still watering really annoying, making thr font bigger n closing 1 eye helps.
what r the plans 4 sunday
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Rita, I had that one time from being at the beach. It was when Mexico was on Fire and all there was on South Padre was smoke, so you thought nothing about. I went to the Dr. and he told me to use hydrocortizone. It worked
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DD & SIL came up from Florida got here Monday morning. He is laid off for a few weeks while GE does some retooling. He is changing out the clutch in our 83 Toyota Motor home. DGD was not to excited this is the first time since Jan. 2014 she has seen her Mom. It went pretty well, untill DD decided she needed to get into my wine. I like to have a glass or two of wine in the evening, sometimes a little more.
Kimber got home from her activities and her and Mom went into her room and they talked, everything was OK until DD asked her for a hug and Kimber said yes and DD Pulled Kimber to her and she got very afraid. She left her Mom in her room and came to me crying saying how afraid she was. I was heart broken.
We decided she should not be here while her Mom is here. Kimber is staying with school friends the next two nights and then going to her Paternal Grandmothers on Friday, through Easter. It is hard.
My 90 year old Mothers liver cancer has went from 2 cm in Oct. 2014 to 4 cm this month. She is refusing treatment. I really wish she would at least take low dose chemo if that will help. I would rather see her die from chemo related causes than the horrible pain of Liver Cancer.
Any way life is good no matter what. Hi to all who are new.
Hugs
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Ah geez Mommarch.... I can remember that feeling, from when I was little..... When someone thinks that they can make up for lost time, or thinks you "owe" them any show of affection, and then they need a little "something" to give them the nerve, it never ends well. Even my Dad.... who I LIVED with... When he drank, and me being a 10 year old was just "fair-play" for him and his drunk friends.
Funny I still remember that......... I'm glad your Grand-daughter won't have to be around that.... Little kids just know... but they will "hide" certain things that happen to them, that hurt them to the core.... I wish I could have protected ME from that when I was little.... You are a god-send in her life. Her guardian angels!
I'm so sorry about your Mom.... Watching your loved ones going through this is just so hard......... They won't let your Mom have much pain..... When my Mom was going through her kidney failure, after her quad-ruple bypass and stroke, they said they could START Dialysis.... but she was so frail, and sick, and she didn't know what was going on... She couldn't drink, or eat...
So we all just thought we had to let her go..... to not put her through this.... And we had talked about this with her months before...
So they finally quit that battle of saving her life.... and moved her to another private room, and kept her quiet with morphine.... and we could be with her, and know she wasn't in any pain...... It is just never easy.......... I'm sorry......
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Good morning. I'm off to the gym with dh in a few minutes. Then my mother's hair apptment is at 11 am. That's the scheduled part of my day!
Happy Thursday to all.
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“Suffering is necessary until you realize it is unnecessary.”
Eckhart Tolle0 -
hi ladies. We are getting our house ready to be left alone for a bit and the truck ready to drive around for awhile. Right now we are hoping to get on the road sometime next Tuesday. We haven't made many plans of which direction to head, but it'll be generally east as we can't go too far west from here!! : .
Hope everyone is healthy and happy.
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Hah, no you can't, unless you get a boat.... Ha! I've heard of some people just heading out.... no special place to go, but have some sort of map, or a GPS? I always wonder how those guys on "Pickers" don't get lost, with all the places they go.... I know they have their gal send them "co-ordinates".... So you need a "co-ordinator"....
I don't how we ever went ANYwhere before there were cell phones!
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GG, Have fun and enjoy wherever you go. It's fun just to drift and enjoy what comes your way.
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GG, count me in on hoping you have a great time. I bet you could type in on your computer ( unusual or out of the way places to visit -- whatever direction you start heading ) and make up a list for the first state you be in -- and maybe just keep doing it. I think you could just break into some fun visiting sites. For instance, we have a little town called Collinsville here in my state -- and I think it is home of Heinz Tomato and has a big tomato bottle at the "entrance" to the city.
As is my usual --- I don't see many of my own state's sites. Don't know why we feel it it is worth anything it must be somewhere in another state. There are I bet plenty of things in a person's home state. Anyway, hope you have a fantastic time.
Blessings,
Jackie
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Good Afternoon everyone! I am trying to paint my door red. Oh my goodness, Two coats and still not covering so I went to Lowest and paid 18.00 for a can of paint. It better cover.
PS I hate to paint!!!!
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Have fun, GG!
Suzanne, you'll have to post a picture of your red door. I always like red doors. I have a red bathroom. You need to use a special primer before painting an intense color. NOW I tell you!
Had a nice day with my mother. We went out to lunch after her hair apptment. She ordered a pasta with seafood in a cream sauce and enjoyed it. The serving was large and she brought home half of it.
When I arrived home, dh had mowed our large lawn (2 acre property). He had managed to ride over a newspaper in the driveway so there was newspaper confetti in one section. I went out with a plastic bag and a rake and got up quite a bit of it. I can just imagine his language when this mishap occurred! The air was probably blue.
It is hot, hot, hot here today. High in the upper 80's and it's the first part of April.
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Well, if it isn't one thing it's a hundred million others.... Walked into the laundry room and told my husband I smelled cat urine. (we don't have cats - in fact we're both REALLY allergic to them.) It turns out that some feral cats have decided to make a home in our crawlspace. Hubby's back is far too bad for him to be crawling under the house to replace the screens on the crawlspace, so we called someone else to do it. They can't do it either. The screens that the cats tore down are not accessible. In fact, they are under our deck. Now we have to tear apart the deck to replace the screens. We were planning on not messing with the deck for another 4 or 5 years, but apparently now it's going to be this weekend. @#$%^&*() I think hubby has decided (with my urging) to simply have them replace the entire decking, so it'll last out our lifetime and other than sealing we won't need to mess with it again. There goes my plan to redesign it. Ah well... it'll be less expensive this way anyhow.Since we're stuck here for a few more days, I'm going to a nursery tomorrow to buy a tree peony for the front yard. We had someone tear out the phlox that was under the front window and in it's place I've planted a couple red azaleas. I'll plant the tree peony in between the azaleas, and I think that will finish off the front area for this year. I also put in a ceanothus last year (I'm going to need to be trimming it faithfully, as I can see that how big they said it would get wasn't at ALL accurate... in fact it's already the size they said it wouldn't get bigger than....). I also planted a gardenia and a white azalea. In the back the daffodils are still blooming. I've also planted a yucca, two more ceanothus (one dark with itsy-bitsy leaves, the other is a prostrate with relatively (for a ceanothus) large yellowish leaves. It looks like two of the grapes made it (I haven't had a ton of luck with grapes, but we'll see how these do long term.) The boysenberries seem to be doing VERY well, though. I put in about 10 strawberry plants, some daisies, saxifrage, dutch iris (that are starting to come up), thyme, sage, cone flower, black elderberry, a bay tree and a few evergreen shrubs. But everything is pretty small now (other than the blueberry, lilac, azalea and rhody that were here when we moved in.) As things grow, I'm hoping the garden will be a friendly place to sit and read. The soil seems to be getting healthier with all of the amendments I've been adding, as when I dig now I come across worms. When we first moved here there wasn't a worm to be seen.
My granddaughter asked me to macramé an owl for her. She said she wanted a cartoony looking one that she could hold. I've just about finished it. When it's done I'll take a picture of it and post it here (if I remember - my memory is a pitiful remnant of what it used to be
Anyway, it certainly looks cartoony. It's green with yellow and black eyes and yellow and black wings. Hopefully she'll like it. It's hard to make something for someone when you can't peer into their imagination to see what it is they think (hope) it will look like.0 -
GG, Sounds like your yard is coming right along. I don't think we have room to plant another thing. We had a salad tonight of fresh greens from our garden. I just tasted greener than what you can buy. Sorry the cats are going to keep you in town. Have you gotten rid of them? I know what you mean about the deck. It really is nice to have the no maintenance kind.
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Gardens! Yikes! Is there some organization that will come out and remove the cats? Or they probably don't STAY in there anyway, right?
That reminded me of a Fox family, that made themselves a home, under, or in the old Elitch's Theatre, when it was left alone. They developed all of Elitch's property, except leaving the Theatre for restoration.... They finally DID some work on it.... and the Foxes haven't been seen...
The neighbors used to put dog-food out for them, and it really WAS fun to see them all out, with their babies, playing in the sun... But I was told they were re-located...
Isn't it funny, how things happen to throw all your plans out the window? And you just have to change your direction altogether! But it might work out better in the long run.
I just found this on Google.... The old Elitch's Theatre... You can see how it was in the center of some of the developement...
The "field" in front is where we would watch the Foxes come out to sun themselves...
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Hi Carole, I will try. I had to have my daughter come over and take the pictures off my phone and put them on the computer so I could transfer them to here. I do not know how to get them off my phone to here. I sure wish I did. It is looking good. I can't remember what all I told you guys but I bought a quart of Krylon paint from Wal=mart. 4.97 a can. It went on terrrible and I mean I have never seen anything like it!! Would not cover!! So go to Lowes and ended up spending 30.00 for another paint, pan, and roller. I guess that still isn't bad but 5.00 was better. LOL Did I tell you that when we last had it painted the painter said do you want red and I said oh no, I want a plum color. I could see a beautiful deep rich plum. I picked out the color but it looked lavender. And you couldn't even see it from the road.
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here never was any heart truly great and generous, that was not also tender and compassionate.
Robert South
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Ah GG -- you know me. I hope you are able to have the cats relocated. They often get into places where you don't want them as it would be difficult to "save" a whole litter from the things that happen to baby kittens. One of the worst is that male Toms will hunt out where the female has had her babies and will kill all the males. The adult Toms do not want the competition. Other animals come along and are just 'hungry'. So anyplace that offers "great" protection might be looked for and the expectant mothers are really 'good' at finding these spots.
Enjoyed hearing about the foxes. They are such a beautiful animal. We have some here though seldom see them. It is a real treat when we do. Always amazes me that they are relatively small. The bushy red fluffy looking tails always get me too. Sounds like your "foxes" were fairly cozy where they were Chevy and would come out more often. Of course -- living in such a big wooded area like we do here, we don't even see the raccoons and possums as much as you might think -- we pretty much enjoy it when we do. Just not always the snakes. Don't see them too often -- only in the yard now and then when it is a VERY dry year. That makes food and water scarce and they will end up ion the yard and on the prowl.
Suzannecarole -- I am not much of a painter myself. When we painted the inside of our house we had to use several coats of primer. I was so anxious to get the "color" on and since I don't much care for painting, it made it all sooo tedious. When we bought out house the man who originally owned it had taken materials normally used for the exterior of a home and put them inside. I think due to the 'texture' of the wood. I didn't mind that, but the colors were gray in two different shades -- I think the wood was called Masonite. It was very hard to cover and we had to use about three coats of primer first. There are some things I have all the patience in the world -- and other times almost none. The painting project fits the last category.
Rained tons last night and we just got done with more of a drencher this morning. A bit later we will head to the V.A. in Marion. Maybe stop for lunch at Steak & Shake. Of course -- I'll get my all time favorite...Garlic Burger. I can almost taste it now.
Will see you all later anyway. I hope you are having a really good day.
Blessings,
Jackie
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We actually thought we had solved the feral cat thing when we first moved in. Captured a couple cats, relocated them and fixed up screeens, but we didn't realize (or else it hadn't happened yet) that the screens under the deck were just - gone. So time to buy another have-a-heart trap and hopefully catch the new critters. We need to be certain the cats are NOT under the house when the screens are fixed!!!
We're in normal spring pattern weather here. Some rain and some sun each day. This morning was beautiful, but I see that there's a 90% chance of rain and thunderstorms this afternoon. I love spring and summer
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GG, Check with your animal shelter about borrowing the traps. No reason to buy if you don't need to.
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Gardengumby, There are organizations and people who will catch feral cats, neuter them and release. I am an animal lover and am in favor of that. If they are not neutered, the problem just continues. These little creatures did not ask to feral cats with no home, they just happened to be born without a home. Instead of just trying to catch them and move them, if you find it in your heart, make an effort to find an organization that will help you solve the problem for yourself and for others.
These little guys just want food and shelter. If they are neutered, new litters will not be born. Otherwise, every female cat will continue to produce at least 2 liters a year.....and on and on.
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We have a neighbor who's involved in this program. In Houston it's illegal to re-locate feral cats. This group helps to trap the cats, takes them in to get neutered, gives all the shots, and returns where they were picked up. Lots of people are upset by the animals coming back to dig in their yards & leave their dropping everywhere, but as Sunshine says, at least they can't keep reproducing. The way to tell here is that the ear (I forget which one) is lightly clipped so you know they have had rabies shots & all vaccines & are sterile. Our neighborhood group donates money every year to this group since they are so helpful. Now if we could just stop neighbors from putting out food in front of their driveways. I'm OK if they must feed the cats, but with our temperatures already over 80 - the smells & mess of the food sitting out is not a good thing. Wish they would use their back yards.
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I know they can be a problem for a lot of people. I also feel sad for these little kitties that have been born into a world of feral cats. They have drawn that card in life and we have been dealt the BC card. None of us - or feral cats want this in our lives. My belief is to try to deal with situations the best we can, without hurting anyone or anything.
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Our same neighbor will put an ID chip in any pet for free. The only cost is the lifetime registration with the lost pet company. He keeps a scanner in his car and is always on hand to identify lost pets.
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This evening began Passover - and U.S. Easter is Sunday. Best wishes and peace to any who celebrate.
Am knee-deep in chores as I am having 9 for dinner Sunday - it is very disjointed....DD#3 flying in from Indianapolis; SiL bring the kids to all meet up and have Easter afternoon at my house. DD#2 decided to come after I had done all the shopping -- 2 more kids to entertain. Saturday - cook, bake, and get last minute items -- make games and egg hunt...then finish clearing the guest rooms where the toys are.
Chevy, thanks for your words of support and encouragement. It must have been so hard for you to walk away from your parents' home with just memories...an empty feeling for sure. I wonder how we get through sometimes.
Jackie, thanks also for your supportive words. I try to look forward and truly believe that where there is life, there is hope. Anything can happen. Your story is amazing...one can only hope! My other DD who is divorced is spending a lot of time with her ex and one of her best friends told me there may be some reconciliation. They vacation with the kids and now DD is working for his company...Don't ask, don't tell....until they tell me! Life is like a soap opera....
Jilly, I agree my onco # was low...I did look at the statistics over and over ,..I think it was a 2-4% recurrence rate without chemo for my #. The way I looked at is "there are 100 women in a room with my type of BC...96 women most likely will not have recurrence. 2-4 women may have a recurrence. However, those 2-4 women may be treatable and survive a long time." So, I could live with the numbers. Darned MO -- she left me with two weeks of stress and uncertainty. I am glad that is behind me now, and I hope the statistics remain favorable, and that better treatments and the cure are on the horizon.
"Selfie" of granddaughters & me on our hiking adventures.
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Carole, your mom is amazing. And newspaper confetti--too funny!
GardenG(happy birthday) - that is a tough situation with the cats.
I just spoke at length with my brother who lives near a golf course in Ohio where there are many feral cats. There is a woman who voluntarily cares for the cats and has begun to systematically have them neutered and returned. Eventually, they should be down in numbers. There are coyotes and other animals that are harmful to the kittens. My brother had one of the kittens just walk in to his house one day...and the little guy turned out to be the best house pet and pal ever. Lucky kitty.
Jackie, I never heard about the Toms attacking the male kittens...although not surprising as it is common in big cat families like lions. The dominant male will kill or run off all the males, including his own litter.
I am looking to adopt a kitten or young adult cat. I am doing a lot of reading and searching. There are so many shelters and non-profits that do wonderful work with unfortunate dog and cats. The demand for foster care and adoption is tremendous.0 -
This was on Bing this morning! So cute!
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