Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
Comments
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The question, "Which is the happiest season of life?" was asked of an aged man.
And he replied: "When spring comes, and in the soft air the buds are breaking
on the trees, and they are covered with blossoms, I think, 'How beautiful is spring';
and when summer comes and covers the trees with its heavy foliage, and singing birds
are among the branches, I think, 'How beautiful is summer.' When autumn loads them
with golden fruit, and their leaves bear the gorgeous tint of frost, I think, 'How
beautiful is autumn.' And when it is severe winter, and there is neither foliage nor
fruit, then I look up through the leafless branches as I never could
until now, and see the stars shine in God's home.unattributed
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I am sitting here looking at Teka's snow picture, while those of us here ( mid-West ) are dealing with tornado's and huge thunderstorms. We were under storm watch until 11 p.m. last night but did just find. That was not the case farther up in the state in Fairfield which is a suburb of Chicago. I think the town was mainly leveled. I pray for all of them. This is I hate to say normal for Spring and we have to just hold on and do our best to get through it every yr.
The sun is bright here this morning and I think though on the much cooler side today, the sun should last. I would like to hope we can dry out a bit -- but in the next couple of days we will face more rain. There is massive green turning up which I adore. That "fresh" super green of Spring just seems to tremble with new life and it always inspires me.
Anne, your little grand-daughter is so adorable. Makes you understand that poem/phrase -- 'oh', to be a child again'. Their world has few limits and all sunshine and sprinkles on the cupcakes -- for most, and their imaginations can be endless. Sorry to hear there were some ?rivalry ? feelings from the other grandmother -- or that was my impression. Of course, some times I think we could all feel that -- but I think I'd use it as a stepping-stone to attempt to make a good friend of ' the other ' grandparent so all could have the same enjoyment as well as the grandchild getting to view a complete loving family.
I know we all tend to make things difficult. No one has a perfect personality --- and maybe that is why a child's life can be so fantastic --- they just don't involve themselves in the role-playing -- game-playing that adults do.
Even with the stress -- you made the most of a special time with your grand-daughter. That makes for great memories.
Wondering about Mimi and some of our other ladies who don't come as much. I do hope you are all ok and just too busy to come and chat. I am the proverbial motor mouth -- so doubtful anyone will ever ask where I am.
See you all later on in the day.
Blessings,
Jackie
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Jackie- just wanted to clarify- the negative ( jealous) feelings were on my DIL's part, not her mother's. Her mom sees Lucia maybe 4x a year, if that. Anna Facetimes me at least once a week while Lucia is eating, but says often when she offers to FaceTime with her own mom, the mom puts it off because she is "too tired" to pull out her Ipad. Her mom lives within 15 minutes of me and we are about 3 hrs or so from Orlando. There was no reason she could not have joined us for at least part of the vacation, but once again, she used work as an excuse, which is all it was, an excuse. I agree totally with you that grandparents on both sides should be part of the whole, rather than sides. I have been very blessed for the most part with that. When my oldest grandson was a baby, his paternal grandmother used to come over from Naples ( the west coast of Fl) once every two weeks to babysit on Fri. She, a good friend of mine and I would take Michael and go off to a mall, or out to dinner each time. Scott is her only child, so when my second daughter gave birth about 4 years later she became Nana to him as well. And the same with my 3rd daughter's two children. Unfortunately, our married children moved to Ga. She chose to blame my daughter for that, although it was totally Scott's idea. Then we lent them the downpayment on this house. Again, she took that as an insult to her. Then a few weeks before my husband passed, they drove down to see him. They got down late Thurs night, and went home Sun. It was not in any way a "party" type weekend, but when she found out they had been down and not told her, she stopped talking to all of us, and no matter how much we have all tried to make amends, she still will not forgive. She has not seen her 2 biological grandsons,nor any of the other grandchildren in 2 1/2 years.
My second daughter's ex-MIL happens to be one of my best friends. We had a rough time for a short while when Tracy left Doug the first time, and again when they broke up last summer, but are back on good terms again. Jeanne's way of dealing with her son's issues is to basically deny he has any, and when there is a break-up, she is not sure how to handle it, so she kind of goes into hiding until the air clears and she can be with us without having to discuss the situation. That works for me, because I don't believe our adult children's issues need to affect our relationship at this point.
I am on good terms with the grandmother of my 3rd daughters children. I would not consider us friends- we wouldn't get together on our own, without the kids to go out to dinner or anything, but we enjoy seeing each other at family gatherings and have been to each other's houses. I have no relationship with the grandfather or step grandmother of these two grandchildren. We say polite hellos when necessary, but that's it.
That's probably TMI but it is a miserable rainy day here, so I got started and forgot to stop.
Well Michael has finally shown his face- it is 12:45, so we are off to buy a birthday gift for his first ever girlfriend's 16th birthday. Wish me luck...
Anne
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Hi ladies - we've got Internet again. The deck is almost complete. The screens are repaired on the house. Didn't have to do anything with cats as they were not in residence when everything got locked up. Since we were stuck in place for a bit, we took the opportunity to replace all the cushions in the camper, and wipe it out top to bottom with disinfectants and febreze.
We think we'll probably be able to hit the road Monday or Tuesday, but I'm not going to get too stressed over it.So the story of our Comcast experience.... Our neighbor came running up to my husband and said that someone was sitting in their car across the street and taking pictures of our garage (the garage door was open at the time as hubby had pulled the boat and was working on it in the garage.) The guy took off like greased lightning when my husband attempted to approach him, so we figured someone had nefarious intent towards us. We decided to get an alarm system. Since we already had Comcast, we thought we'd give their system a try. Hubby called them and was quoted a price for the installation and a rate for cable tv and internet (which we already had) and the alarm system. So all was scheduled. A subcontractor (not a Comcast employee) came to install the alarm system. He was at our home (in and out of it) for TWELVE HOURS. For some unbeknownst reason he swapped out both the TV cable box AND the Internet modem (I checked - the modem was the exact same model we had before....) and then installed the alarm system.
The next morning I checked our email and saw the Comcast bill/receipt. We were charged more than double the price quoted for installation and $55 per month more than the price we had been quoted. After the misery of the prior day we had been looking forward to getting out of the house and doing some fun stuff, but instead hubby got on the phone to attempt to resolve the issue. He was passed from pillar to post around the world talking to people who were supposedly going to fix the problem. Then he was put on hold, after holding for about a half hour, they hung up. He got on the phone again. Same maypole dance, but when they put him on hold this time, I took the phone and held on, while he called back using our other phone. After I was on hold for over an hour (the guy came back twice to say he was going to talk to a supervisor - but I think he was just checking to see if I had given up yet) they hung up on me. Meanwhile, hubby had yet another Comcast person on the phone. It finally became evident that they were not going to give us the monthly rate we had been quoted, so we said, OK, we'll just go back to the service we had. Well, that wasn't going to happen either without a brand new two year contract. At that point I flipped out and said "NO!!". So, hubby and I went around and took out all the Comcast equipment (funny it took me about one and a half hours to take out what it took the contractor twelve hours to put in). Comcast had scheduled someone to come pick it up. He arrived, and said he'd only take two things instead of all of it. Hubby said, take it all or take none. The Comcast guy called in and was connected overseas - finally hubby just told him that we'd take it all back to the Comcast store ourselves. What a nightmare. I told hubby that I was going to send Comcast a bill for our time - at the rate I get paid when I do contract work - but I won't bother, they'd just ignore it anyway....
So now we have a local internet provider and a local cable company. No more offshore call centers. We have decided that anytime we have a service that uses offshore call centers we will find a local provider and use them instead. Too tired of the hassles and we want to support local industry.
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Hi ladies - we've got Internet again. The deck is almost complete. The screens are repaired on the house. Didn't have to do anything with cats as they were not in residence when everything got locked up. Since we were stuck in place for a bit, we took the opportunity to replace all the cushions in the camper, and wipe it out top to bottom with disinfectants and febreze.
We think we'll probably be able to hit the road Monday or Tuesday, but I'm not going to get too stressed over it.So the story of our Comcast experience.... Our neighbor came running up to my husband and said that someone was sitting in their car across the street and taking pictures of our garage (the garage door was open at the time as hubby had pulled the boat and was working on it in the garage.) The guy took off like greased lightning when my husband attempted to approach him, so we figured someone had nefarious intent towards us. We decided to get an alarm system. Since we already had Comcast, we thought we'd give their system a try. Hubby called them and was quoted a price for the installation and a rate for cable tv and internet (which we already had) and the alarm system. So all was scheduled. A subcontractor (not a Comcast employee) came to install the alarm system. He was at our home (in and out of it) for TWELVE HOURS. For some unbeknownst reason he swapped out both the TV cable box AND the Internet modem (I checked - the modem was the exact same model we had before....) and then installed the alarm system.
The next morning I checked our email and saw the Comcast bill/receipt. We were charged more than double the price quoted for installation and $55 per month more than the price we had been quoted. After the misery of the prior day we had been looking forward to getting out of the house and doing some fun stuff, but instead hubby got on the phone to attempt to resolve the issue. He was passed from pillar to post around the world talking to people who were supposedly going to fix the problem. Then he was put on hold, after holding for about a half hour, they hung up. He got on the phone again. Same maypole dance, but when they put him on hold this time, I took the phone and held on, while he called back using our other phone. After I was on hold for over an hour (the guy came back twice to say he was going to talk to a supervisor - but I think he was just checking to see if I had given up yet) they hung up on me. Meanwhile, hubby had yet another Comcast person on the phone. It finally became evident that they were not going to give us the monthly rate we had been quoted, so we said, OK, we'll just go back to the service we had. Well, that wasn't going to happen either without a brand new two year contract. At that point I flipped out and said "NO!!". So, hubby and I went around and took out all the Comcast equipment (funny it took me about one and a half hours to take out what it took the contract twelve hours to put in). Comcast had scheduled someone to come pick it up. He arrived, and said he'd only take two things instead of all of it. Hubby said, take it all or take none. The Comcast guy called in and was connected overseas - finally hubby just told him that we'd take it all back to the Comcast store ourselves. What a nightmare. I told hubby I was going to bill Comcast for our time, but they'd just ignore it anyway. These big corporations do seem to think they own us, and unfortunately too many of us seem to think that's just A-OK.
Anyway, now we have a local internet provider and a local cable company. No more offshore call centers. We have decided that anytime we have a service that uses offshore call centers we will find a new and if possible local provider and use them instead. Too tired of the hassles and we want to support local industry. Oh yeah, we also have an alarm system....
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Jackie, I'm glad the bad weather didn't come to your town. The destruction sounds terrible.
Gardengumby, what a trial you went through. So exasperating to deal with a company that doesn't provide good service.
Anne, I can't imagine anyone not getting along with you. You seem such a kind and generous person.
I wish Mimi and Cammi and all the other absentees would check in and let us know how they're getting along.
Guess I'd better get into action and accomplish a few chores. I also want to mix up a pizza crust for tonight's pizza dinner. And roast some cherry tomatoes to use for a topping.
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BTW, Carole - love the idea of your new car. Our car is a 2004 Accord and I'm hoping against hope that it will last us for a few more years....
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Carole Congrats on the new wheels.
Sandra glad you are getting some rest, the sound of the ocean is always relaxing.
I got the results of my MRI on Wed. I have a small tear in my rotor cuff and bone degeneragion. I am going to start therapy next Tues. They think if they can build up the muscles it may help and I will not have to have surgery. I am not to reach or carry anything heavy. I am to take 400 Mg of IBprofrin and then 6 hours later take 500 mg of Tylenol three times a day. It has helped and when it bothers me put ice on it. I used the ice yesterday and it really did take away the pain. If I can avoid the surgery it will be better because it is in my right arm where I had the lumpectomy and I am really afraid of Lymphodema if they start cutting on it. It was 4 years on April 6th since my surgery.
Hugs to all
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mm- you may want to give acupuncture a shot as well. I think it's helped my shoulder...
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Garden & Carole: So many of my friends are buying cars and saying "This is my last car". I'll stick w/my 2003 Camry for awhile before I buy yet another "last car". Who knows - this may be it!!!
Monmarch - so sorry to hear about your rotator cuff. Hope the therapy works. I guess we're all wondering - what will break next. Just like our cars - LOL.
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Morning gals!
Yes Jackie... I must have skimmed over your note to me, about my car...
This car doesn't even compare to my older '99 Chevy Prizm. It is not only automatic, which took some time to get used to, because my left leg was going crazy, with my right arm, trying to shift " SOMEthing".... Ha!
So now my "clutch" foot just SITS there, and so does my shifting arm
And the seats move forward, backwards, and I can pump the seat UP or down, and the back will tilt... AND I can slide out so much easier in this one with that smooth, upholstery. The OTHER car must have had velcro on the seats!
Every time I get in, I feel like "My new car!"..... Yes... all things must have happened for a reason... I had to break my hip to get a newer car, Ha! Not really, but it's Karma, that the clutch DID go out, (finally) and I HAD to get another one! Someone was listening to my prayers.........
Carole, I looked at a picture of your new Pearl White car... BEAUTIFUL! I love my "Diamond Silver" color also... Don't they make the colors prettier than they used to?
Yes, my other car was a dark blue... and they DO get extremely hot when parked... not to mention showing all the dirt more.
I had to have those windows tinted years ago, because I am REALLY allergic to the sun! And driving in the sun was just as bad as being IN the sun. My arm would always break out in hives.... I would drive with a towel over my arm, until I had the windows tinted.
Hi Blondie! How are you feeling?
And Rita... that sounds soooo good! I'll use my ham bone with Pinto beans, onions, and garlic.... Cook them each separate, so the beans will get soft, then add it all together. Do you use "play beans?" Or cook your own? Ha!
Jackie, I remember when I used to clean this ladies house... She made egg-salad with butter, mashed in, and mayo, a little mustard, and a couple shakes of soy-sauce... It was good too! I loved that "Happiest Season" quote you posted! It was beautiful, and so true..
Teka, that IS a beautiful picture of the snow... Did any of you gals ever make "snow ice-cream"??? I remember my Mom making it with fresh clean snow, canned-milk and was that ALL? We loved it anyway!
Anne! Good Grief Gertie! So was it fun? I know it was with your Grand Daughter, but all that dealing with personalities is a bit much! I think we all know just what you mean.
There is always someone in every-one's family that is just no fun to be around. And they just drive us nuts! We put up with stuff because we "have" to we think... so we don't make waves, or say anything. But you just want to get back to your safe place, take a shower, and try and think of FUN things. Stress is stress... sometimes we can avoid it, and sometimes you are in it, and just have to ride it out.
Your GD looks darling!
Anne, my MIL never did anything with my girls either... They LIVED close, but for some reason, she never asked to take them to the park, or over to their house for the day ..... nothing! Some people just plain don't care...
Only asked them to baby-sit one time..... And when we came back, FIL had our oldest Daughter... maybe 7 at the time, on his lap, trying to teach her to smoke!
And people wonder why they get shot! Never asked them again. And MY folks were in another State, so my girls didn't have any Grand Parents, other than MY Grandma and Grandpa! But they were not able to spend time with them alone....
LittleGardend! THAT IS A NIGHTMARE!!! At least you had your Husband for moral support... Ha! Isn't it amazing how these companies jack you around and when you FINALLY hear a live person, THEY don't know WHAT they are talking about, and don't WANT to help!
We should shoot THEM all too! As long as we are AT it! Is there someone you could report them too? I mean that is recockulous! That's what Cammi would say!
We have Comcast for our cable, but Century Link for my Internet and land-line phone.... We had GREAT service one time from Comcast... but it was the GUY that came out... He connected EVERYthing up right, and showed me how to work ONE controller instead of two for the TV...and cable box. Evidently it wasn't the same guy YOU had.... Ha!
Carole, I don't know about MiMi, but Cammi has been having an awful time with her "Big D" problem... She has this off and on, and it just knocks the beans out of her, and makes her weak, and not able to think straight, like she could on a GOOD day....! Ha, little Cammi.... just teasing you....
She'll be back...
I told her I WOULD BE OUT THERE to straighten her up if she didn't get it taken care of.... She just whimpers and says "okay".... It has happened ever since her chemo... That was 50 years ago, but some things just hang on....
Mommarch.... you just have to take it easy I guess... I'm so sorry for all that pain.... DD went through that torn rotator cuff surgery, and it was not the funnest thing she ever did.....
Minus.... Man I just HOPE this is my last car! All the new gadgets and stuff made my brain tired... I found looking things up on the computer, and watching video's of what I was asking, really helped.
Okay gals... going to fool around a little planting seeds today... Can't put out any tomatoes yet... and I am NOT growing them from seed... Ha! Too much work and time, and they didn't do as well as the PLANTS I bought to set out....
Have a fun week-end!
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Chevy, you are lively and cheerful early in the morning. It's 7:31 here in central time. Aren't you earlier?
I said last night that I wasn't getting up early this morning. I stayed in bed until a few minutes ago but I was just dozing. Not really sleeping. Funny how my sleeping pattern goes with the season. I can sleep late in the winter when the bedroom is dark.
No plans for going anywhere today except maybe to the supermarket to get some dry kidney beans, Camellia brand. I agreed to cook a pot of beans for dinner at my mother's house tomorrow. I'll use the ham bone from the Easter ham, onion and garlic and couple of bay leaves. The beans will simmer until they're tender and creamy. Red beans are better cooked one day and warmed up the next. I don't notice a lot of difference between beans soaked and not soaked.
I also have house chores to do. Not sure what the weather will be like. We had rain yesterday and everything is wet outside. Thank goodness! An excuse not to do weeding. As long as the a/c works, it should be cool and comfortable inside.
Have a good Saturday, everyone.
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Small but mighty:
Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling.
Margaret Lee Runbeck0 -
Boy, Chevy you did get long winded today -- but I'm always glad. Gives me lots to think about. You know, sometimes we get in a bit of a rut ( usually not a huge one ) but you forget how many different ways there are to see something. Like -- recalling how a new car smells -- or how you spend the first few weeks of having a new automatic by reaching for the clutch and gear shift lever.
I haven't driven a standard transmission in so long that I bet it would be as funny as a rubber crutch. I can just see myself nearly giving whiplash ( or brain shaking syndrome ) to myself or any passengers. Then of course, is the thing dying on me -- as sometimes happened. Funny but I drove standards for a long time. When we lived in Santa Barbara, Ca. there were a lot of little hills and we lived half way up one -- on the Mesa. I just got very good I think at dealing with a clutch on hills and parking -- wheels turned up if you were parking uphill and turned in if parking downhill. The trick was backing into parking spaces where the wheels had to turn one way or the other. Mamma mia -- hard to believe I use to that and think nothing of it. Ah, the carefree abandon of a young age.
Mommarch -- well, I hate that you have the rotator thingy -- but then almost sort of glad that it was THAT and not something else. You know, I think once you have gone a round with the big C --- other things become something to be happy about in a 'not funny' way though desirable. I talked to a neighbor ( my old boss ) who just had the rotator cuff surgery. He said he had the difficulty about 7 yrs. ago. It wasn't bad enough for him to do anything then and he was still working daily as a rental/repair manager for some buildings the company he owned, managed as well. He said lately though it had begun waking him from sleep so he thought he should do something about it while he was still relatively healthy and not too old. Still said he expected that it would be about 4 yrs. before it was GOOD as new.
He is a really interesting person -- a little tough to work for as he was/is something of a perfectionist -- but a very likable fellow. Anyway his wife had them on the Adkins diet you know -- the no bread or sugar and mainly protein diet. Well, after a couple of yrs. this guy got sick. Went to the Dr. and had cholesterol up the wazoo. Dr. told him if he wanted to live --- get off of that diet. His wife had a fit -- she had done well with it and just felt ( the book says it somewhere ) that other Dr.'s will tell you not to do it, and that her husband did not have the problem --- well, that was not true -- he originally went to the Dr. for symptoms that the Adkins book did not mention that were troubling him. He is not a wimp -- so for him to go to the Dr. for something it had to have REALLY troubled him
Long and short of the story --- though he did get a lot better after giving up the Adkins diet -- his cholesterol would flare up on him it seemed more than he liked though never reached a point that made him physically ill in any way. Since he retired it was a bit worse. His Dr. wanted to put him on some medication but he didn't like that idea. He got a Nutri-"Bullet and had a nutritionist from the V.A. help him design an eating plan along with drinks made in the Nutri-Bullet. He lost a lot of wt. and his cholesterol now is as normal as can be.
Wow !!!! give me the floor and you never know what you will get. All over a rotator cuff problem. You know --- I never much heard of that until these later years. Like never knowing anyone much with cancer until I got it. I don't have rotator problems and hope I never do, but I sure know a lot of people who have injured that part and needed lots of attentions of some kind for it.
Carole, I stayed in bed a bit more this a.m. Funny --- I was dreaming about being somewhere ( ? White House ? ) with the First Lady. I enjoyed the dream but don't recall much except sitting and talking to her --- not sure exactly what I had been doing there before the conversation.
It is gorgeous here today with the sun though will be a little cooler -- only 68 or 70 --- but we won't have yesterday's strong breezes, so it should feel nice and warm for the most part. I will work later today/tonight. That is good.
Glad to hear Camille is ok. I think when all sort of 'worry' now and then about people we don't hear from too often. Just want everyone to be fine and enjoy life.
Anyway, I'll shut my yap and be back later. Almost time to go out and feed the feral cats now anyway.
Blessings,
Jackie
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Good Sat morning everyone
GG-just wanted to say we have been thru a similar fiasco with Comcast. After months and months of fighting, and 3 visits from non-comcast contracted technicians, we finally got someone to the house who was actually able to fix the problem, but he had to get another guy to bring him a box he didn't have on his truck. When we got our next bill, there was an extra $500-600 on the bill for that visit including a whopping fee for the "specialist" the original guy had to call in (all he did was hand the original guy a box). My daughter spent hours on the phone in numerous calls, but finally got them to remove the charges. She got home yesterday to find a note on the door-- our cable had been shut off because we were late paying the bill. Tracy is never late paying a bill. Again, hours later, they admitted it was there error- they had not deleted $100 of the erroneous charges. Can't wait till our contract is up- either June or Sept- to get rid of them. What a lousy company.
And yes, Chevy, it was wonderful getting back to my second home, take a shower in my own bathroom and enjoy the TLC only DD#1 always provides. It really is a sad situation with my DIL. My son is as easy going as I am, but his wife has some serious issues- she claims she is a vegan, and she is, but her eating issues go far beyond that. She will eat nothing that is not organic, and also will eat nothing that might have fat in it. She eats mainly fruits and vegetables - mainly lettuce and other nutritionally useless foods. She is terrified of gaining a pound and does 2 hour workouts at the gym as often as possible. The biggest problem is she is feeding the baby according to her standards, regardless of my son's or the pediatrician's advice. She does give Lucia some fat (organic peanut butter and olives), because my son insists, but that's about it. And that doesn't even begin to go into her control issues. After 21 months, she is still telling my son how to feed, change, bathe and carry his daughter, and reminds him to watch Lu carefully every time she leaves the room. And I do mean EVERY time! Like you said, I deal with it in order to be with my son and granddaughter, but my heart breaks for him. He never wanted anything other than to be married and have a family. His dream has become a nightmare in many ways. And while he wanted a houseful of kids, he will very likely only have the one, whom he adores.
Off to get a haircut- since BC I still get a thrill being able to say that.
Anne
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Anne, I do see how difficult of a situation things are. I feel for your son. Not sure from your description if the DIL was always like that, but from experience of my own I do know that youth can often aid us in simply not recognizing the difficulties that could come later. I don't think organic is ALWAYS organic as many companies, suppliers, retailers etc. find clever wording to get around that. Still, anyone not using any product, fruit or veggie that isn't -- along with with-holding fat is living a dangerous existence I think. The vegan diet is one that is VERY hard to maintain. The body has a delicate balance is what nutritionists have said to me and they are pretty much against a vegan diet because of the constant monitoring that should be done to keep the whole body in check. I'm sort of horrified that a mother would expect her baby to be vegan as well.
Jackie
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Anne, we still haven't received our "final" bill from Comcast, so I'm still a bit terrified of what they will try to charge us. I'm quite certain there will be another fight in our future, though. I think they are a disgusting and dishonest company, and will never do business with them again
Our deck is now complete and it looks so nice. When I was a little girl my dad made a cradle for my dolls. When I had babies, my mother painted it and each of them spent there first month in it. Neither of my kids were interested in it for their babies, so it's been stored forver. I decided it would make me happier to use it than just have someone who doesnt really appreciate inherit it when i die, so hubby turned it into a planter for my birthday present. Its going to sit on our new deck and cradle my herbs.
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GG, fantastic idea for your new herb garden. I use an old doll bed for a magazine rack though the books and magazines ere basically stacked instead of upright. I think you are right to be worried about your "final" bill from Comcast. Many of the Internet, Phone, and T.V. providers feel with all the upgrades in modern living they have you by the short hairs. I think enough fighting may get you somewhere but I'm sure they are hoping your blood pressure ( the saving of ) will win out.
Jackie
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I think I said on this board that my granddaughter asked me to macramé an owl for her. Well, I finished it...
she said she wanted a "cartoony" owl, so this is what she got....
Making the owl inspired me, and now I'm making a necklace for myself, and have another one planned for my MIL. 0 -
GG - don't give up with Comcast until you are satisfied. It's a long, frustrating fight, but we did win.
Jackie- I know my DIL was abused as a child, both emotionally and physically, as were her brothers and her mother. I am sure that contributes to her need for control. She never relaxes, ever. I have no doubt that she loves Lucia, but motherhood to her is terrifying. She trusts no one except Rob to watch the baby when she is awake. I am the only one that has watched her while she is sleeping. The one day she left me during Lu's nap, she called me to let me know Lu had woken up. I had both a video and audio monitor right next to me. She can view the video one on her iPhone. I told her I already knew she was awake, but since she hadn't slept as long as usual, I was watching to see if she would lay down and go back to sleep as she often does.
We used to laugh at her. She has a gate system inside her front door to make sure the dogs ( and now Lucia) don't get out. If you are using the front door to leave, everyone leaving must be within the locked gated area before the front door can be opened. Going thru the garage, everyone must be in the laundry room, with the door going to the house closed, before the door between the laundry room and garage can be opened. And that door must be closed and locked before the big garage door can be opened. Every time, no matter how many people are coming or going. Now, I no longer find it funny- I find it sad and scary.
I told Rob when Lu was about 9 months old that regardless of her vegan status, I didn't believe she was eating enough to nourish both her and Lucia, who was totally breastfed at the time. I have gone out of my way when there to find good vegan recipes, which she usually doesn't eat much of, although she does let Lu eat them. She plans to tell the baby as soon as she is able to understand the reason she is a vegan, and the horrors animals go thru to become meat on our tables. I again, feel this is absolutely wrong to tell a preschooler because 99.9% of the people in her world are going to become animal abusers in her eyes.
It is a very sad situation that seems to be getting worse with time. She does not respond to any suggestion that she is a little overboard in any way. Rob has told her that once the two dogs they have die, they will never have another one, because she stresses so much about them. He is very aware of her issues and says he will do whatever necessary to make sure Lu isn't affected, but so far, he is allowing the veganism, because Lu seems to be doing well on it. She has, in 21 months, never been sick or on antibiotics. That could also be because she has very little contact with others. I am very careful in what I say to her as she has no problem cutting people out of her life and I am not willing to take the risk. The saddest part of all this is that Rob really doesn't care that she is a vegan, or that she is so protective of the dogs. It is the fact that she cannot allow him to do anything, no matter how simple, without her input on the "right" way it should be done. He is getting more and more frustrated.
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Wow, Anne. This young woman really sounds mixed up. I'll bet you wish your son had found someone more "normal." I think being a vegetarian sounds a lot more reasonable than being a vegan. I don't mind some vegetarian dishes and meals but I'm too much of a carnivore to want to give up meat. We had barbecued baby back ribs tonight and they were delicious. I can't imagine raising a baby on a vegan diet. But what do I know? No one had ever heard of vegan when I was young.
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Anne, if you didn't watch Dateline on NBC last night you need to see it! It was the story of a DIL who sounds exactly like yours. She (and her father with her mother's help) ended up killing the husband and father of their little girl so she wouldn't have to share custody with him. The DIL seemed like a normal person when the son married her. She was a kindergarten teacher and the couple were elated when their daughter was born but she began doing exactly the things you've described. Hubby could do nothing right and he grew increasingly irritated until they finally divorced when the baby was, I believe, 10 months old. If you have Comcast 'On Demand' or go to NBC/Dateline you may be able to watch it.
Carole, how fun to go to the car dealer for one thing and walk (I mean drive) out with a new car. I also love the new car smell and having everything in it so fresh and new. The Prius is such a nice looking vehicle too! We have a 2008 Chrysler that we're trying to baby along for another few years, but the thought of a new car is pretty enticing.
Sandra, how nice that you got a week of relaxation and rejuvenation. It's so important that a caregiver takes some time for her/himself. In our case it wasn't me but my husband who was taking care of me. In 2012 I had a debilitating illness (Guillane-Barre' Syndrome) that left me paralyzed from the chest down for 1 month and I had to slowly relearn feeding myself, using my arms & hands, walking, writing etc. over the next 3+ months. When I came home from rehab after the first month, I felt more and more frustrated and grumpy with how slowly recovery was going and of course I took it out on my loving caregiver, Mike. I know how your Mike is probably feeling......frustrated and, I' m sure, afraid. I encouraged Mike to get away from me as much as he could to save his sanity
so I hope you don't feel any guilt.Mommarch, Hope the meds are beginning to relieve the shoulder pain. As I believe it was Jackie who said after the big 'C' we can deal with these other issues in life, but I'm sure that's small comfort when you're experiencing horrible pain.
Spring has sprung in Oregon which means every tree leafing, every bush blooming, every nose dripping and every eye watering. It also means day after day of sun and/or downpours of rain or hail.
Went to the Opthalmologist (sp) last week and received bad news and good news. I was having trouble watching TV or reading while lying down. It was like I could only see the bottom half of the screen or page. Well the bad news is my eyelids are drooping down into my field of vision. I knew I wasn't able to put on eye make-up as I used to especially eye shadow as there isn't much room anymore on my eyelids. The good news is I will be getting an eyelift covered by my insurance......yea! I'll be having that done the end of May......so excited! Now if I can just find a good medical reason to have a chin lift, LOL.
Hope everyone is having a good weekend!
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Okay Anne..... I would fix that girl up a hamburger and stuff it down her throat. We can talk about this stuff here, but I know you can't say anything to anybody else.
That girl really does have mental issues... and maybe she CAN'T help it, but I think I would go absolutely nuts if I were in your shoes. I don't see things ever changing...
Has your Son thought about mabe taking a break from her? Like telling her if she doesn't stop her tyranical behavior that he is going to leave her ... WITH their child? She doesn't listen to reason... and makes her close up even more, it sounds like.
I know he can't just run off with his Daughter, but he could probably get full custody, unless she comes down from what-ever Planet she is on. Her behavior and habits are just not normal... What-ever she does to herself is up to her, but not to THEIR Daughter..... And your Son should have at least 50% input on her care.
Okay, so she WAS abused.... A lot of us were..... But we grow up determined to make our life a better place to be in... and not like the one we came from. She's got a screw loose somewhere.... and everyone has to suffer for it.... And YOU can't say anything, because she is Lord and Master of her universe, and everything IN it..... I'm sorry.... It's just in your Son's hands, and how he handles it now.....
Maui! One of our friends has the same problem... she is younger... maybe 58? But going in for that eye-lift surgey also.... She is Asian, and sometimes she can't see the full "picture" either.... They said then she will be able to see perfect. The muscles in her eye-lids just become lax.... meaning too much loose skin.... like my neck.... Ha! Yes, I sould like some neck and chin repair done also....
Wouldn't it be nice to just be able to sculpt yourself a whole new body? I mean there IS enough flesh there, just too much OF it. I could build another person with the left-overs!!
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When you awaken to what I call the Authentic Self, which is the spiritual
or evolutionary impulse, what begins to emerge is the dawning recognition
of the fact that each one of us, at our highest level, is that Authentic Self,
which is actually the same energy and intelligence that originally inspired
the entire creative process. You begin to intuit and feel directly
connected to the very impulse that initiated the whole event
fourteen billion years ago and is driving it right now.Andrew Cohen
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Morning everyone,
There really is too much of a lot of us , huh !!!! I was thinking the other day of the shape I was in when we came back home. It wasn't bad -- and though it soon came to be tiresome and something of a drudge -- I could run up and down stairs endless ( it seemed that way then ) times during the day and not think much of it at all. Dh just couldn't stand that we were on the ambulance route so within the year we were looking for another home and found the perfect one on the lake here in the woods. Anyway -- we were all on one floor then and for some reason -- over time, not going up and down stairs seemed to help me pack on pounds. That wasn't all of it, but it helped.
Just saying -- if I could use all the extra's to refashion me, I would. Funny --- way back when I assumed I'd always be a certain way -- slim for sure because I spent a lot of my life that way -- tall because I always was. Energetic -- where have all the good things gone.
Anne, I feel much as Chevy does. I too feel you have likely had to bite your lip so often. Thank goodness you are deeply perceptive about this situation but it is still sad. I don't see huge help for the situation either. I think as Chevy said and as I have deeply felt for soooo long, each of us are born into this life to make the most of our soul to be presented back to our Creators at the right time. All sorts of challenges and stumbling blocks may be placed in the way. It is not those blocks themselves --- many are extremely difficult --- but our overall response to them. Are we able to grow despite them or do we get stuck almost unable to move? As Chevy also said -- many children are abused in one way or the other and they may struggle in a lot of ways but be able at some point to FIND themselves. After all -- the most fortunate begin to realize that they are in charge -- not the circumstances and events that have made up their existence. Once they have gotten to the point of being able to utilize their own ability to change their life for the better, the obstacles that were a part of them fall away and lose the hold and power. It seems from your description that your DIL would benefit from a really GOOD therapist though she would likely need that therapy for yrs.
A bit on the cloudy side, but it will be warm today. Nearly 75 or 80 I think. We had lots of sun yesterday so though a bit cooler ( high 60's ) it felt really warm. It is almost time to mow the grass for the first time. As we are underneath so many trees, most of our neighbors start a week or two ahead of us. Yesterday I could hear the riding mowers ( most of our neighbors have 10 acres to their property sites ) and the odor of wild onions was wafting through the air. Most yards here have wild onion in them so you tend to smell this during the first few cuttings of the season. When we were growing up ( I know this has been mentioned before ) we got our milk from a local dairy farmer who would deliver it -- still warm from the cows. Two inches or more of the top would be cream. My folks poured that off for their coffee. Anyway -- for two or three weeks the milk would taste of wild onion. My mom would try and convince me it tasted fine -- no thanks. I never wanted my Cheerios' or oatmeal or anything else to be flavored with wild onion. Mom finally gave up --- I was tastefully perceptive at the time and you just weren't going to convince me that that "flavor" didn't completely ruin the 'breakfast' experience.
Ok --- anyway, I'm thinking of all of you ladies.....saying a big hi to those not posting lately or too much and know that no matter how much you post or how much you don't....I want everything to be wonderful and right in your world.
Blessings
Jackie
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Morning all
Oh how I have missed being with you all on a daily basis. No matter what the topic, it's always interesting.
Jackie- your story of the wild onions reminds me of my father trying to get my sister to eat peas. He would, always, at some point, tell her that peas tasted like candy. My response always was,"Daddy, I love peas, but they don't taste like CANDY".
Chevy- my son takes a ten week break from her every summer. And until last year, looked forward to it. (They live in S.C, but he runs a summer camp in Fl and stays with me mid-June thru mid-Aug.) He is a Special Ed HS teacher during the year. He is very involved in Lucia's care and has been since day one. He changes diapers, bathes her, fixes her food, and does it all very naturally. Not to toot my own horn, but he has my gift when it comes to children, which I got from my dad. Once he comes home from work, Lucia is at his side till she goes to bed. They play wrestle for a while, then they eat, then the two of them snuggle on the couch watching a Disney movie. Of course, she can't express it yet, but I think she feels her moms stress, and Daddy is her safe, soft place. He disciplines her when necessary, but calmly and effectively. Anna is not abusive in any way towards Lu, it is just the tenseness that is always there.
Rob is very open with me, which gives him a safe place to vent. I recognized resemblances between Anna and my DH before they ever married. He wasn't as extreme in the same ways -eating or over protective- but he was extremely controlling and ready to blow up at any moment. Didn't know how to enjoy himself or his kids. I talked to Rob numerous times before they married, asking if he really wanted to marry his dad. It came up two weeks before the wedding and he asked if we would be willing to pay Anna's mother back all the money she had spent so far on the wedding. My DH said no, as I was saying absolutely yes. But Rob wanted to be married and most of all to have a family. He was almost 30 and didn't want to have to start all over. Little did he know she would make him wait seven long years before starting a family. She wanted him to finish school first. Which was sort of understandable, but he was so much older than most if his classmates and was maintaining straight A's while working full time and going to school full time. Or that Lucia would most likely be his only child. He always wanted a houseful, and didn't care if they were biological or adopted.
Chevy- he has threatened to leave her, but I don't think he would ever do it, because Lu loves her mommy. Right now,he is working really hard to get Anna to move back to Fl., for several reasons - they now have full winters in SC, minus the snow, which he hates. He has sinus infections constantly due to allergens where they are. But most of all, he does not want to be away from Lu all summer. She won't agree to come all the way back to So Fla,but will consider the Orlando area. He is trying to get somewhere between the two, where he could go home every night during camp, even if the ride was an hour or more. Orlando he will only be able to go home on the weekends. One big reason for the move is to be closer to both grandmothers and some of his siblings and friends for both of them.
Anna's biggest problem is that she doesn't see any of her behaviors as abnormal. She is just trying to be healthy, and protect her daughter and dogs from any dangers. She does not see herself as controlling- only helpful. He is thinking about suggesting couples therapy because they are always bickering, in hopes that once he gets her there, the counselor will be able to convince Anna that she needs serious therapy.
Just FYI, Anna's mother gets along much better with Rob than with Anna. Several years ago, she lived with them in SC for nine months and cried when Rob left to do camp. Her exact word were "you're not going to leave me alone with her for 10 weeks, are you?"
In other news, I am meeting my grandson's girlfriend for the first time today. The three of us are going to lunch. My DD says when they took her to dinner, they were given a laundry list of dont's. And Scott blew it by asking if she was going to eat her apples, since she had barely touched her food, and he loves Chili's apples. Nancy says Mike burned a hole thru Scott with his eyes and whispered "Dad,she's a guest, not your kid". So far, I haven't been given any rules. But he told his mom she couldn't come this time, and told Sailor last time, if you like my mom, wait till you meet my grandma! I teased him at dinner last night about seating for today. Every time we have eaten together since his birth, he has always sat next to me. That's a lot of meals. Being the certified genius that he is, he said no problem. Grandma, we'll just get a square table. Then I can sit next to both of you, and hold both your hands under the table. I said I was not shy and he can hold my hand in top of the table.
Anne
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Carole - I've had a Prius for 3 years(this July)'and still love it. Amazing mileage. My only problem is that if I get any shorter, I won't be able to close the back hatch without a lift!
I've had fun playing in the dirt and planting white vinca, day lilies, and blue plumbago. Last spring was a bust on plants with surgeries so it has been doubly therapeutic to dig in the dirt. When it's warmer and butterflies start enjoying the plumbago, it will mean more quiet therapy
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Anne - my BFF's daughter is a vegetarian (I know - easier than vegan). She's raising her son the same. He is now 3 and she sends special meals to day care so he won't get meat/chicken/fish. For example - if the school is serving spaghetti & meat balls that day, she sends spaghetti w/o meatballs so he won't feel so different. He is at least allowed milk & eggs & cheese. My friend does request that her daughter get blood work for her grandson with his yearly physical to make sure he's getting the requisite nutrients for healthy growth, and so far he's doing fine. It's not the best solution but gives her some peace.
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Anne...love the pics of your grandchildren. The time you spend with them is priceless and is building many good memories for all of you.
mommarch...I hope that you can get some relief from rest and therapy. Like you, I would also select surgery as my last recourse;...on anything! Sending good healing vibes your way!
gardeng..What a unique idea of using the cradle for a planter! I am just not very creative when it comes to that kind of thing. About the only good idea I've ever come up with is to use an old golf bag for a planter. If you have one with the side pockets, you can even plant in them. I should take a picture of mine later this summer when the wavy petunias are blooming and show you. Other than that, I just imitate! I always used to hate it when others would copy my ideas and remember my grandmother telling me that it shouldn't bother me at all. In fact, according to her, I should feel honored because immitation is the greatest compliment of all! I guess she was right! If that's the case, I do a lot of complimenting others now that I'm older.
Well I am going shopping with a friend tomorrow and we always make it a "shop til you drop" day so I need to get things organized for that and get off here! I hope everyone has had a nice weekend!
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