Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
Comments
-
I feel your pain and anger, Sandra. My husband has been fighting pancreatic cancer with liver mets for 2 years. A year ago I got breast cancer. It has taken me the full year to "accept" my "new normal." A week ago My husband was taken off treatment because despite chemo, his pancreatic mass has grown and there's a new one in his liver. Although expected eventually, it's a blow when they tell you that's it; no more they can do. Hope all goes well for your husband.
0 -
Sandra...Keeping you and Mike in my thoughts and prayers! Please keep us updated.
So sorry about all the tragedy that your friends have had to deal with. Wow! I can't imagine losing a child. Our faith is often shaken and tested with situations that just don't seem a bit fair.
0 -
Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.
- Scott Adams -
0 -
Sandra & DeltaLady, keeping you and your husbands in my thoughts & prayers.
Carole, before you settle on a bathroom color scheme, check websites for Target, Bed Bath & Beyond and The Company Store for what colors in towels and rugs are available. Years ago, we redid our bathroom in white, pink (so we didn't have to replace or resurface the tub) and seafoam--had no problems coordinating towels & accessories. But over the years--in ALL stores and on ALL sites--pink and seafoam have given way to darker colors like fuschia or maroon and a deeper yellowier celery-or-leaf green--both of which look slightly “off" with our tub & wallpaper (the green not as glaringly as the fuschia). We've been relying increasingly on white towels. We've faced the same dilemma in our bedroom (dusty rose & seafoam) except that sheetmakers seem to be putting out brighter or pale pink and celadon (more bluish) green instead--so that our duvets and linens clash (not merely “don't coordinate"). It's truly a PITA to repaint and repaper, not to mention look for a new tub.
0 -
Chi Sandy, I know what you mean. But colors last about 7 years, so no matter what you choose it's not going to stay in style. We've gone to white bath towels. I think the thing to do is get duplicate sets when you first decorate so you already have replacements. Sometimes the clear colors are available from LL Bean. Expensive though, but last well.
0 -
Choose Inner Peace.
Nothing is worth losing your inner peace.
Take action as circumstances require,
but never surrender your inner peace.
Stop. Breathe deeply.
Close your eyes and breathe deeply again.
Then, and only then, take action -
from a peaceful heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie0 -
Hi everyone
I am reading your posts every day, but for some reason, cannot respond. This is my eighth try in the past week, 4th attempt today. I am going to post this, then try again, so you will know I have not forgotten you- my computers have gone wacky
Anne
0 -
Annie, A while back I had this problem several times and had to complain, also wasn"t
getting the posts. They finally ironed it out. SO there is hope!
0 -
Thanks for the encouragement Bonnets, but I just lost it again. Too frustrated to try again at this point.
Anne
0 -
DeltaLady, oh my, I actually HURT for you! How awful. Tell us more about your dear husband. How has he dealt with his illness? Men do seem to need to do it "their way".
Jackie, you have a gift. You seem to always be able to choose words that will comfort, support, lead, and inspire us. Your comments, especially the one that said you would wait with me while I'm in this desert, were so thoughtful and dearly appreciated.
0 -
Here I am, trying again. Sandra and Delta, I understand what you are going through. I remember sitting in my husband's room, listening to his side of a phone conversation, which was" okay, unhuh, could you repeat that?" And then he said, I am so sorry to ask this but could you repeat everything to my wife? Basically, there was nothing more they could do, so go home and enjoy the time you have left. I think we had about 6 weeks. He hAd such a large goiter in his throat, they couldn't get a breathing tube down to replace the infection damaged aortic valve in his heart, but his heart couldn't survive the surgery to remove the goiter. His health been declining pretty rapidly and although the news was devastating, it was not a complete surprise. Other than my DD coming down for a weekend, allowing us to get one last family picture, we pretty much lived in denial, never talking about it until one night he took my hand and said, "Honey, I am so tired" and I said," I know you aRe". After a very restless night, he paSsed the next morning. I know your situations are very different from mine aNd pray you have a better outcome, Myonly advice is that you each say everything you need to say. Because one day- and I hope it is years away,you will not have the chance to say it at all.
Well that took me 56 minutes to type. I will try to get back on later- my intention was not to be so gloomy. But my keyboard took control again and I just don't have the time or patience to do anymore.
0 -
Hi, oldies friends. Jackie must have started her week at work. The rest of us will have to take up the slack and carry on the communication!
DH and I went to a potluck lunch today. All the cardiac rehab "graduates" gather for this event once a year. I took a chicken salad. There was lots of food, a good variety. We enjoyed conversation with the two people who sat closest to us. One was a pretty young woman who has been through rehab twice. Her 2nd cardiac problem surfaced shortly after she gave birth to her third child. She is only 41 years old.
Today started out cold but warmed up. I have the ceiling fan on high speed and the kitchen door is open.
Hope everyone is having a good Thursday.
0 -
Hi Ladies,
DeltaLady and Sandra, keeping both of you and your husbands in my thoughts and prayer.
Carole, your potluck sounded like a nice way for people to get to meet. 41 years old is seems so young for cardiac problems but I guess age doesn't matter with that disease either.
Today is cold and windy but at least we did not get the snow storm that was predicted.
DH and I both had dentist appts today. Mouth is sore but only have to go back for a cleaning in March unless we have problems. We received a picture of our house yesterday. The outside has been painted, roof is on, drywall is up and tile is laid.Bath tub is in the extra bathroom and cabinets were to be hung this week along with driveway and sidewalks being put in. We ordered our furniture. hopefully it is want I pictured when doing this.
Hope everyone is having a good day.
0 -
Oh termite! How exciting! It sounds like your house is "moving right along."
I missed Jackie's quotes on the Illinois ladies site and was hoping that she was OK and just working some longer hours. I don't get on everyday here, depending on what is on our schedule. Yesterday was a very windy day that did not lend itself to boating, fishing, or golfing, so we drove up to the Port Charlotte area and explored Stump Pass Beach State Park, Gasparillo Island, and Boca Grande. We had never been there so it was interesting. Dave took his metal detector that I bought him for Christmas. He had a ball on the beach. He found 43 cents, a fish hook, a padlock, beer cans, and many beer tabs. Maybe in a couple of years he will have found enough of value to pay for the batteries!
Today is a fishing day on the causeway at Sanibel. We are moving rather slowly this morning!
I hope everyone is having a good day!
Rita
0 -
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with our old nonsense."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson0 -
Well hi everyone. It is nice to be back on. I was so confident about having my computer here but only just got it a few minutes ago. I was told where the router was here but I couldn't find it. So Dh came over to look but he had trouble too --- and later thought he had it. Turns out he was wrong so the next time I talked to Dr. B he told me the exact place. In plain sight had anyone thought to go into the special utility room. So, today I was finally able to get things going. Sure feels good to talk to every one again. The withdrawals were getting miserable.
Anne you sound like you don't have withdrawal syndrome quite so bad as I, but still frustrating --- just as much I imagine to "expect" to use a device that should function fully and it doesn't. I sure hope you are able to 'find' and fix the issues. I dealt with so many odd things and then finally gave up and bought a subscription from Microsoft and any time any little upset shows its very unattractive face I call them and some nice person fixes it all for me.
I can't go back but hope I gave you a warm welcome hello Delta Lady.
Termite, your house sounds like it is taking shape really nicely. I'd be sort of excited, but then most of the time I see changes like you are making as a great adventure.
It is 80 degrees in Puerto Rico -- oooh sounds nice. Tuesday ( when my employers left ) it was pretty nice here. The next day the wind was blowing ( gusting up to 55 mph. ) and snowing like everything. Despite the fact it snowed all day --- I think a lot of it got blown elsewhere as we didn't get that much on the ground. It is staying between 35 and 39 so will slowly melt -- what little came down which ended up more slush than anything. I'll be glad when its gone though. I was ready not to have anymore.
Anyway, lots of mail to deal with so I'll see you all later.
Blessings and hugs,
Jackie
0 -
Jackie, it's good to have you check in. We were experiencing "Jackie Withdrawal"!!!
0 -
So glad you checked in, Jackie! We missed you!
0 -
Hello everyone from Vancouver. Dx at 65, so I will join you if I may. Bless you.0
-
Welcome STELLAMARIS. Our door is open always. Wish you really didn't need us -- ugg, but we welcome all here. It is a home away from home where all the good ladies understand the journey of a cancer dx. We are good hand holders and listeners. Tend to talk about everything here, but we have formed friendships and see each other through lots of different life events no matter what brought us here. Please come often. Usually someone is here on a daily or almost daily basis. Hoping to see you again soon.
Blessings,
Jackie
0 -
Hi everyone,
I am happy to be finding time to read back a bit and see friendly posts from "old" and "new" ladies here.
Teacher, glad you are back and hope you are getting better each day.
Sandra, your story about your visit from friends is very touching. We just never know what others are going through. The photo is really special. You have the thoughts and prayers of so many here. Please know I will continue to keep you in prayer through Mike's procedure.
Deltalady, I am sorry to hear about your husband's most recent diagnosis. It must be very difficult. Sending prayers to you and your family.Ritajean, it is so nice to hear your reports from Florida! It makes me think more seriously of retiring. WE have a financial meeting at DH's job on Monday. You never know.....
Carole, so glad you got to play golf. It sounds like you are experiencing what we consider "vacation weather". We will have a little warming period this week end.I am happy it is the week end and I do not have to get up early.
Jackie, I am glad you found the router and can check in!0 -
Today I choose life.
Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy,
happiness, negativity, pain...
To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue
to make mistakes and choices -
today I choose to feel life,
not to deny my humanity but embrace it.
- Kevyn Aucoin0 -
Had wonderful news at cardio visit. New med is working. No surgery needed. I don't have to go back for six months. It was such wonderful news
0 -
Happy to hear your good news!
0 -
Hope you can feel and hear the hoorays all the way from sunny southern Illinois.
Jackie
0 -
So happy for you, Teacher. You deserve this good news.
0 -
Nice start to the weekend with good news Teacher, thanks.
Welcome Stella- sorry you're here, but happy to offer you as much support as possible. Also happy to take you off the "cancer planet" for a few minutes here and there as we talk about anything and everything going on in our lives. We are best, though, at listening and giving support that others, who haven't dealt with cancer can not. We will understand your fears, your worries, your feelings, your anger - whatever's going on with you, we will listen and understand. And the only "judgement" you might get is someone who says they didn't go through what you are going thru, but mentions someone else who might have. Meanwhile, we look forward to getting to know you.
I am the mother of 5, grandmother of 6+2 more on the way- one at the end of March, one in June, both girls. I live in Ft Lauderdale, but since my oldest DD moved to the Atlanta area with her family ( my two oldest grandsons) 5 years ago and my oldest son moved to S.C, and he has my youngest granddaughter, I am a traveling woman. I divide my time mainly between here and Atlanta, with frequent and increasingly long visits to see Lucia who will be three in June and is getting a baby sister for her birthday. I was Dx and treated in Atlanta so I go there for all my checkups but right now I am in Ft Lauderdale for the longest stretch since my husband passed three years ago, aside from my cancer treatment time during which I was on the cancer planet. My daughter here is having her baby, Alexandria Rose at the end of the month.
My keyboard is slowing down to an aLmost a complete stop, so I am done for now
Hope you allhAve a great weekend
Anne
0 -
Anneb - thanks for your welcome note
I've been on cancer planet since October, and still stuck in surgery mode. I have two grown sons who live on the East coast (I am on the West coast) and no grand kids yet. Late bloomers I guess, lol. Up until my dx I was working full time and living a very carefree life - hiking, skiing, kayaking in my spare time. Since dx I have become a couch potato, either having surgery, recovering from surgery, or preparing for surgery. I feel like a pin cushion. The great thing though is I have started knitting again and getting caught up on my reading. I'm still hiking every week too! Looking forward to getting to know everyone.
0 -
Teacher, great news!
Stella, welcome. What a beautiful picture! You are the kind of active person I admire and I expect you to resume all those outdoors activities once you're recovered. Goodness, I see you had three lumpectomies and then a MX and reconstruction. In hindsight you probably wish you'd started out with the MX.
I opted for bilateral mx even though my tumor was small. I didn't want to undergo any additional mammograms and be told again that I was positive for bc. Not everyone's decision but it worked for me. I played tennis for years and then switched to golf. My husband and I bicycle a lot during the summer when we're in MN in an area with about 200 miles of rails to trails bike paths. I used to walk 3 miles almost daily for exercise until my feet started rebelling. Now I go to the gym on the average of 3 times a week and get some cardiac and strength exercise on machines. I walk on the treadmill, use the elliptical and also the upright bike, not all on the same day! I also do a circuit of strength building machines. I would like to start going to some pilates and yoga classes but haven't managed to do that yet.
It's a lovely day here, sunny and mild. DH is playing golf and I am getting some things done in the house and the kitchen. Hope everyone is having a good Saturday.
0 -
Beautiful Saturday here too. Warm enough outdoors not to have to wear a coat if you have a sweatshirt on. Ran out and fed kits while my little patient was finishing her breakfast. Got laundry going and just stuck a meatloaf in the oven. Maybe a salad and small baked potato to go with later. Seems like a long afternoon but it is off-putting sometimes to work in a kitchen you don't use all the time. I lied -- I use this one a lot, but mainly for breakfast. It is just on occasion that I am responsible for ALL meals.
Anne sounds like you are still having computer woes. Not having it at all, or only being able to write small amts. before weirdness sets in. I have had some of those issues where I would type and five mins later the words appeared. It didn't backspace well then either to remove things or fix a spelling error.
The last two days have been nice enough to melt most of our snow. It is just where piles were made or odd places against a tree or in deep shade that have hung onto any of it. I'm not sorry to see it go. I had high hopes we would not be treated to anymore.
Stella, your part of the world sure looks pretty. You look like you are standing on the side of a mountain. I actually like snow, but we have only had it twice this season and not much either time. So, I'm ready to do without. I love the sun, and don't mind if its chilly if the sun is there to temper it good.
Things are well for me here so far. New bed to sleep in that will raise the head or feet and give a massage too. I haven't tried it yet --- too afraid I'll fall in love with those features and won't like my bed anymore at home.
Dh working today and tomorrow -- he has been getting a lot of work so far and I think is already looking forward to when some new people are hired so that he can go down a bit on the schedule. He wants to be part time for the most part.
Off to handle the dryer. See you all later.
Jackie
0
