Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Sandra, Keeping you and your family in my thoughts. Mike is strong and the match is perfect. It will be a few very hard months, but you'll come out on the other side. Hugs.
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My whole attitude to life is spiritual--a feeling of
identification with all nature, all mankind, all life,
the whole of the past, the whole of the future.
Fenner Brockway0 -
Prayers and much thought and care Sandra. Out of our hands and sending positive thoughts to the Universe to be distributed to all involved today. Holding your and Mike's hands and walking with you.
Jackie
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Hi Cactus
Welcome. I imagine what you are feeling is somewhat like survivors guilt, which is also misplaced guilt. We have no control over who survives a wreck or crash, and we have no control over who gets cancer, what type or stage it is when diagnosed and no crystal ball to tell us what to do or how to handle it. I was stage IIIb and had Her2+. If tha wasn't enough, I had triple the amount per cell than most people had. But, by the grace of God, I had excellent care and have been cancer free since Jan 2014. My amazing Dr's chose to do chemo before surgery, so I was actually cancer-free for my mastectomy and radiation.
That said, I agree with Jackie and Stella- a caNcer diagnosis is one of the scariest things you will ever face. And having been part of this group for two years now, I've learned that while the actual diagnosis might differ, the emotions and fears don't. It is not so much the accurate diagnosis as much as it is the word Cancer. I took my son, daughter and son-in-law to my first Dr's visit because I already knew it was cancer, aNd knew I wouldn't hear or retain anything the Dr said. She was nice enough to draw pictures which days later, my daughter explained them to me.
We are a group that supports each other, whatever way needed, whenever it is needed. You are part of this group, not because of , again, what your specific diagnosis is, but because you have joined us on the cancer planet. If you hang around, you will find cancer is the glue that stuck us together, but it is the genuine caring for each other that makes that glue stick. We talk about cancer when needed,but we also talk about families ( good or bad), traveling, gardening, golf, birdwatching, crafts, cooking, the weather, and sometimes what's on the news. We try to stay away from politics and religion, although both come up occassionally, but more as interesting topics rather than personal beliefs.
Just to get you started feeling like you know us, I am a 66 yr old widow in Ft Lauderdale. I lost my husband of 42 years in Aug 2012 to complications of long term diabetes. I have 5 children, three biological and two adopted. More importantly I am the grandmother of six at the moment, the oldest is 17, the youngest will be three in June and just got a big girl bed two nights ago. Sometime this month my seventh grandchild will make her appearance and sometime in June, another little girl is arriving. My oldest daughter lives near Atlanta with my two oldest grandsons, my oldest son lives in SC with my youngest granddaughter. My other 3 kids live in Ft Laud, one lives with me and her 13 yr old son. So I travel frequently between here and Atlanta with road trips to my son from Atlanta. I travel so often that when friends or family call me on my cell, their first question always is : where are you?
Obviously, family is every thing to me, and my personal commitment is to be with each grandchild on their birthday. I am very blessed that each of my children and their spouses welcome me whenever I can be there, for as long as I want.
Other than family, my favorite thing to do is reading - I read all the time and have since I was in fourth grade. My newest passion is coloring. I thought, as did my other kids, that a coloring book and 12 colored pencils was a crazy gift from my daughter-in-law for Christmas, especially when I heard her mother got jewelry. I thought it would be a gift that ended up on my closet shelf, but one day I opened it up. I now color every night, have at least twelve books, and have gotten my 10 and 7 year old grandchildren involved as well.
I can say that as a group, we are sorry you have cause to join us, but we welcome you with open arms and will be here when you need it. By the way, venting your anger, or fear, or frustration that you don't feel comfortable giving voice to with your family or friends is totally acceptable here. We will listen, we will confirm throughour own stories that you are not alone, and we will not judge.
Wow - I got thru that with no hesitations on my keypad! Maybe my computer fixed itself. Yay!
Anne
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Hooray Anne, fingers crossed.
Jackie
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Lew and I had planned on driving to Minneapolis this weekend to visit my dad and attend the annual Marscon Convention. Instead we're staying home and nursing colds, thanks to the young man who rode with us to Roseau last weekend and coughed and sneezed and blew his nose in our car the entire trip. I sent him an email this morning and told him in the future to remember that his actions have consequences for others.
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Puffin, I don't blame you for feeling annoyed. Hope you recover from the cold soon.
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Without forgiveness, we remain tethered to the person who harmed us.
We are bound with chains of bitterness, tied together, trapped.
Until we can forgive the person who harmed us,
that person will hold the keys to our happiness; that person will be our jailor.
When we forgive, we take back control of our own fate and our feelings.
We become our own liberators.
Forgiveness, in other words, is the best form of self-interest.
This is true both spiritually and scientifically.
We don't forgive to help the other person.
We don't forgive for others.
We forgive for ourselves.Desmond Tutu
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Puffin, Sure hope you guys don't have the "cold from Hell" we both had it in January. DH had it for 2 and a half weeks, I had it for a month, went to bronchitis, laryngitis and some pneumonia! Finally got Levofloxin and started to say bye bye to it! Everyone I know who had it , had it for up to 6 weeks. Hope you have just the ole winter colds.
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Success
They have achieved success
who have lived well,
laughed often, and loved much;
who have enjoyed the trust of
pure men and women,
the respect of intelligent people and
the love of little children;
who have filled their niche and accomplished their tasks;
who have left the world better than they found it
whether by an improved poppy,
a perfect poem or a rescued soul;
who have never lacked appreciation of Earth's beauty
or failed to express it;
who have always looked for the best in others and
given them the best they had;
whose lives were an inspiration;
whose memory a benediction.
--Bessie Anderson Stanley, 19040 -
Puffin, so sorry you had to pass up Marscon. But there's still Minicon on Easter weekend. I used to go every year--in fact, the band I was in at the time were 1985's Musician Guests of Honor.
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Election day here in Louisiana. I went by the polling place after I got all sweaty at the gym with my hair in wet strings! As usual there wasn't a line for my precinct though there was a line for the other precinct. This state has closed primaries so if you're a registered Democrat, you get to vote for a Democratic presidential candidate. If you're Republican, you vote for a Republican candidate. If you Independent, you don't vote.
It's a pretty, sunny day. DH is at the golf course and I have a peaceful house to myself. I plan to spend some time in the kitchen, starting tomorrow's dinner at my mother's house. I'm making beef stew with veggies. Today I'll cook the beef until it's almost tender. Tomorrow I'll add small potatoes, carrots and onion quarters. I'll also make cauliflower mash and a tossed salad tomorrow. My mother will cook rice in her rice cooker.
Today I also plan to make a batch of stuffed colored bell peppers with ground turkey, brown rice and other ingredients. I'll freeze the extras for future meals. My WW eating plan is going well. I consider getting my weight back under control a birthday present to myself. Another present will be a vacuuming robot called a Rumba. My birthday is next Tues., March 8th.
Happy Saturday to all.
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Welcome Cactus Pear. This is a good place to hang out....lots of good conversation with a great bunch of wonderful ladies.
We played a round of golf today with a couple from North Carolina. We have really enjoyed their company this year and they are about ready to head back in another week.
Sending healing vibes your way, Puffin! Colds are just so miserable!
I went to the library this week and came home with a bag of books. I think it's time to drag one out and start reading! Everyone have a wonderful weekend.
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Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet.
Only through experiences of trial and suffering
can the soul be strengthened,
vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.
- Helen Keller0 -
I just finished reading Sarah's Key, a story of a young girl in WWII intertwined with a modern storyline. Good read.
Since I'd broken my foot last fall, the weeds had taken over my flower beds so I spent a couple days attacking the weeds. Today my husband decided to scalp the yard, which drove me inside. I just couldn't take the dust it kicked up. We are supposed to be getting rain all week so the weeds will probably find a way to come back.
I had hoped to take my granddaughters to a movie but was told that Zootopia would be to scary for them and there was nothing else appropriate for them to see. I asked about lunch and got another rebuff. I just want to spend time with them. My DIL complains about no "me" time but insists she has to be present for any activity involving the girls so they can share and talk about it. I'm just frustrated
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Fourth day of Mike's pre-transplant heavy chemo regimen and he hasn't had one moment of nausea or any other side effect. He is half way through. They are giving him 2 kinds of chemo plus 8 other meds. So far, so good. He will get the bone marrow stem cells on Thursday. It's a wonderful facility...only 8 patients currently for 10 rooms. There's always 10 nurses on duty plus various medical assistants and 3 doctors. Mike has a good appetite and goes to the in-unit gym every morning. The nurses say next week he won't be so chipper but marvel at his good attitude and absence of complaints.
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Oh Sandra, so glad you stopped in. Glad to get such a great report on Mike. I'm sure the nurses are right, but doing well and going into this w/o backlash from chemo and meds surely must be a positive thing. Hope you are finding some time to look for a little peace --- even just for any small tiny bit of time. I'm still finding sand between my toes while we walk. I hope things continue to go well and you know you have a very, very large cheering section in all who are here. Grateful I can be around with outlandish amts. of hope and peace and all sort of healing energies and praying all the while they get to you and Mike.
Jackie
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A smile costs nothing but gives much. It enriches those who receive without making poorer those who give. It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. None is so rich or mighty that he cannot get along without it and none is so poor that he cannot be made rich by it. Yet a smile cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away. Some people are too tired to give you a smile. Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give.
unattributed0 -
Morning all
I had a busy weekend - Saturday I was out of the house by 9 to go with my pregnant daughter to a huge garage sale my town puts on twice a year. Got some really cute clothes and I got the high chair seat that straps on to a regular seat, then we went for breakfast, then to watch my 10 yr old GD at soccer practice. This is her first time playing.
Then I was up and out by 8:15 for church Sun morning. I haven't gone in ages because my whole sleep pattern has changed through the cancer and where I used to go to sleep by 10:30 and get up no later than 9:00-I know find myself watching TV till midnight or later, and getting up no earlier than 10:00. Over he last week or so,I have been getting up by 8:30 or 9, which I like much better.
Teacher, I understand your frustration. My DIL will be down here for almost 2 months this year ( she has to be here by 34 weeks so my DS can be there for the birth of their second daughter). There is a great place here called Young at Art which is a hands on place with an area specificcally for my DGD's age (3) with train tracks, sand play, water play, etc. I had a yearly pass when myDGS was her age and his sister started school. We were there at least once a week. I would love to take Lucia thete but her mom will not let her out of her sight unless she is sleeping and even more, will not let anyone other than herself or my son drive anywhere with Lu.
It is not the plaCe for a mother about to give birth, nor for a newborn. And my son is with over a hundred kids from 7am till 6:30pm every day , in the hot Florida sun, I just can't imagine him wanting to go to a place that is full of kids on the weekend, although he would probably do it once for Lu. Taking her there would be so much fun for me and her, but the chances of getting her even to my house without a parent is close to impossible.
When they are down here, they stay with my DIL's mom, who has a very tiny villa, which is fine for her and her tiny dog. It is not so fine when you add two more adults, one preschooler and two more dogs to the mix. Especially since several gates have to be set up to keep the dogs form running away. One of the dogs has a severe anxiety issue. She said the other day that she is going to try to leave Cuppy with her cousin in Jacksonville, but if that doesn't work, my son will have to drive up and bring him to my house. I asked if it wouldn't be easier all around if Cuppy stayed with her mom and everyone else stayed here. There are 3 people living here and two dogs, but we are in a 2300 Sq. ft house with 5 bedrooms and a large fenced yard. She asked if I would be hurt if my DD came down and stayed with her MIL and I said not if they had the space and I didn't. Logically, she is making my son stay at his MIL's instead of his mother's. Which really isn't something we can really argue about because he is back to our house within a half hour of her heading home. I seriously believe that his 8 week stay here without his wife is one of the few reasons they are still married. I know it is second only to Lu and the new baby.
Sorry for any typos- my keyboard is wonky again and it takes too lng to try to correct it.
Anne
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Sandra, so glad to hear that Mike is doing well. Thoughts and prayers still coming your way.
Welcome to all the new comers. This is a good place to come with a group of great ladies.
Carole, your stuffed peppers sound delicious
I spent the day at dr. appts today. Saw onc dr. he said so far everything looks good but if they find something on the ct scan I had today for my right lung to let him know right away but he didn't think the spot would be any bigger than before. Had my yearly exam and pap test. Also had a ct scan for the spot they found in my lungs in October. Won't get the results of that for 2 or 3 days and a few days for the pap test. I am glad all my yearly visits are done.
Dh's count for prostrate was a little high so he goes in for a biopsy the middle of this month,
The cabinets are now along with the tile, carpets, showers and bathtub, sidewalks and driveway are in our house. It is getting closer and I am getting anxious, nervous and sometimes want my old house back. Guess that is normal. We spent the day with on ds and 3 of our grandchildren on Sunday and went our for lunch with them and then back to their house. DS and dil are separating but are still together in the house. Being around them you would never know their was anything going on. She still calls us mom and dad. It is like nothing is different. I am glad for the kids that they get along.
Hope everyone has a great week.
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Termite, Hope all is clear on your lungs. They found a spot on mine in January, not having another CT til July. Am told sometimes they see spots that are not anything and just disappear. Hope that is the story for both of us!
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Bonnets, thank you. The pulmonary dr. said that also. Hopefully, we both get a good report.
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I have fingers crossed as well bonnets, and termite that you both have great reports.
Jackie
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Sandra - thanks for such positive news about Mike. We're still keeping you in our thoughts every day.
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Sandra, thoughts and prayers are with you and Mike.
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Sandra, hopes and prayers that the new bone marrow takes and proliferates normally, and Mike weathers the long isolation process. Thursday marks the beginning of the way back up--climbing is arduous but the summit awaits. I found Suleika Jouad’s “Life, Interrupted” blog in the NYTimes about her own stem cell transplant journey to be fascinating and inspirational. There’s also hope to be gained from the stories of GMA anchor/ex-athlete Robin Roberts and Jose Carreras (one of the Three Tenors, 25+ years post-transplant).
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How true it is that, if we are cheerful and contented, all nature
smiles, the air seems more balmy, the sky clearer, the earth has
a brighter green. . . the flowers are more fragrant. . . and the sun,
moon and stars all appear more beautiful, and seem to rejoice with us.
Orison Swett Marden0 -
Bonnets and Termite
They found a spot on one of my lungs at my first CT scan back n Sept 2013. ONC said we would watch it, but she didn't think it was anything to worry about. It was still there after chemo which made her even more confident that it was nothing. Finally, last Jan they did another CT scan and sure enough, it was gone. She said it was probably left over from a bout with bronchitis or something. Hope very thing works out for both of you.
Sandra, along with everyone else, I am thinking and praying for you and Mike.
Anne
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Sandra - borrowed my son's computer to check in since I'm out of town. Still thinking of you every day and sending hugs & prayers.
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We can never untangle all the woes in other people's lives. We can't produce miracles overnight. But we can bring a cup of cool water to a thirsty soul, or a scoop of laughter to a lonely heart.
Barbara Johnson
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