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How beautiful F.F. lovely work and thank you for the timely reminder. Sparrowhawk..that is so true...the Holy Spirit can sometimes deepen a line and send you into revery. A wonderful thing. I am reading The Ladder of Perfection by Walter Hilton and Revelations of Divine Love...Julian of Norwich in this slow way. Very good for the soul. I cherish a weekly group lectio divina at a Carmelite. It really connects the members of the group in a deep way. They have great talks their too.
Sparrowhawk...may I ask which order of nuns you belong to? How is that breast pain?
Love and blessings to all.
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Astrid, I will send you a message.
The breast pain is coming and going, and still strong - sometimes strong enough that I catch my breath! Sometimes it will come on unexpectedly and without me doing anything to set it off. I know certain movements, like raising my arm, really hurt (the other day I forgot and really reached up to get something and felt like I was tearing my breast off), so I'm taking care getting dressed and doing other things.
Today I was back at work - I'm a pastoral care worker in aged care. Part of my job involves moving residents to the chapel for Mass. I found I was able to push wheelchairs with no pain, but didn't even attempt to push people up or down an incline! Tomorrow we have Mass outside our facility (in an adjacent church). It's mostly level ground so I don't think there will be much trouble.
Blessings to all 😊
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Sparrowhawk, I'd say you're doing exceedingly well to be pushing people in wheelchairs already! Don't overdue it :-) Will pray for your continued healing.
Feelingfeeline, I've never thought to make my own bags or t-shirts! That was a grand idea. No telling how many people have researched that encyclical after seeing one of your creations. I have to admit that I haven't read it myself.
On a separate note, I was searching Catholic podcasts for women earlier and came across one called Abiding Together from Ascension Press Media. Sr. Miriam James Heidland is one of three hosts on the show. I listened to a recent episode (well, part of it) while washing dishes about learning to dream. It was incredibly good. It made me think how a breast cancer diagnosis can thwart our dreams and we can get stuck among the worries and what ifs. Of course, God can use something like a cancer diagnosis to fuel and shape our dreams into something bigger and more beautiful than we could have ever imagined. One of the hosts reminded listeners that a great place to start when trying to resurrect our dreams is to invite the Holy Spirit to come and speak to us. So basic, but maybe overlooked.0 -
I love that R.S.
So true.
Will look it up.
Thank you
Blessings xx
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Thank you! I'm doing well! I learned early on im my work that when I push wheelchairs, especially up an incline, it's important to keep my back straight and use my leg muscles for power, rather than shoulders or arms. That's helping tremendously, and our facility is really level so it's not very draining. I avoided any inclines at first as I knew I wouldn't be able to do it, but yesterday I managed it! I was tired yesterday and today, though, so taking it easy.
And yes - inviting the Holy Spirit to come and speak to us, to be in our hearts, is so beautiful. Each day begins for us with a prayer to the Holy Spirit (Come, Creator Spirit). I find it very helpful. There are many versions around if you are interested!
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God is in the midst of our surprises. I was diagnosed today with a phyllodes tumour, and received a phone call from a friend who has supported me in such wonderful ways. There's a lot of unknowns in such a diagnosis - particularly if the tumour will grow back - but God knows, and that is a reassurance beyond any other. And to know and feel that I am loved and prayed for is such a blessing.
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Hi Sparrowhawk, it is good to get some definite information, even though, as you acknowledge, so much is not in your own hands but in God's. I hope that it is benign? I also hope you have a chance to mention the pain as I have been worried that you are not getting the right pain relief? Love from Susanna in Ireland XXX
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Hi Susanna - thank you! The tumour is benign, but I have read that these tumours are often regarded as having malignant potential because of how they grow. Plus the doctor took small surgical margins, perhaps because she really thought it was a fibroadenoma, and indicated that can increase its recurrence.
I did speak with my doctor about the pain and she said what I was describing (tenderness and stabbing) was normal. It hurts more since she has taken the dressing off, though not so badly that I need meds. She said my wound is healing very well. My breast is still firm and hard but I feel better than I did.
Each day is a bit better than the one before, and God holds me so tenderly. I found myself very emotiomally confused and thinking very hard that I couldn't concentrate properly as I drove home and ended up having a small car accident. No one was injured but our car needs repair. In hindsight, I should have stopped on the way or asked for transport help. God protected me, I know, and kept me calm.
Love - Sr S from Australia.
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Oh such good news that it is benign. I can totally understand the accident. I remember that spacey "glass wall between me and the rest of the world" feeling. It is I think a little bit of shock that causes that. You are aware of it now and thank God you were not hurt. That is why at the hospitals they often ask if there is someone who can drive you. It is so natural, no matter how strong you feel. Thank God you know you can lean on the Lord!
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Sparrowhawk,
Good news about your tumor! Hopefully, your pain will fade away in a few days. I know what you mean about God protecting you in your minor accident. Every now and then, my son (who has autism, depression, and anxiety) attacks me while I'm driving him and his twin brother to school. It can be nerve-wracking, but I know that God is with me. I know that He will help me find an appropriate response, whether that means pulling off to the side of the road or whatever. Many blessings to you -- at least you have a diagnosis and you know what you're up against.
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Yes, I am so glad of that! 😊
Thinking back on it now, I think I was just stunned that it wasn't a fibroadenoma. One of my sisters even asked me if I wanted a lift, as she thought I was having stitches removed. Your understanding means so much. Some people might look at it and say "It's benign, why were you so emotional?" Because I was anticipating a diagnosis which turned out not to be what I received, and while I still have good results, it means something different. The knowledge that I had something else growing in my breast, not just a fibroadenoma - and something that could have become cancer - gives me such a surreal feeling. The doctor was really clear with me that it can come back, and is more likely given the small margins, so I guess I'm not out of the woods yet in a way. At any rate, I am determined to keep living and loving and healing.
@ET, those situations with your son would certainly be nerve-wracking. Your trust in God is beautiful. When we put ourselves into the hands of the Lord, He always leads us to good...even if there are bumps on the way. I sometimes think that it is such a gift to have the health care I do, and to have been able to have had surgery as I did, while other women suffer with no diagnosis, misdiagnosis, and poor treatment. It's a gift I can so easily take for granted, but I pray this experience will open my eyes to see how others live and open my heart to help them as I am able.
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I still don't have any pathology report, or information on whether they could save the nipple. Meditation on Gesthemane and Hail Marys helped in the last minutes of consciousness. Chemically happy right now.
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sparrowhawk
You are truly a wonder.
Such beautiful trust and faith, such a beautiful soul. I feel blessed that you are here with us and so happy your tumour is benign. I had to google phyllodes tumour. It seems a tricky sort. Your faith will help so much and you have a medical support team in place so that is good.Do take it easy with work for awhile if you can? Give the wound time to heal. Perhaps stay off pushing for a couple of weeks if possible..get an attendent to help ?
Oh dear...Might not be feasible...but asking for help..it is a big one isn't it. Trust that others want to help you.
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MCBaker, thinking about Jesus in Gethsemane has helped me through this. That, and John 15 with the vine and branches discourse, which is such a beautiful image. We are as close to Jesus as branches on a vine...and even more beautiful is the fact that He WANTS us to be close to Him. Waiting was hard. You have my prayers, truly.
Astrid, you are so lovely. I don't see myself as having great faith, and I certainly tell God how it is a lot of the time, but I feel myself becoming more trusting and that's all through His grace working in my life. I feel blessed to be here too; honestly, when I saw there was a Catholic thread I was so happy. It means so much to me to connect with women of faith who know what my situation involves and more.
I've been taking it easy, especially with the heavy lifting, and pushing wheelchairs on level ground is not strenuous for me. The uphill stuff is an issue so I'm still avoiding. Thankfully, we have a good number of staff who are able to help and so I'm not doing so much on my own. It's mostly walking around the facility, actually - the first few days it was painful just to walk far, perhaps because of the movement, but not so much anymore. My sisters are great and helping me out when I need it. I know I can ask them and they will assist.
Inside me there's a little apprehension about potential recurrence. This surgery and treatment was expensive, even with insurance, and it was hard to tell myself not to feel bad that it cost money, because my health is what is most important. I still can't get over the completely unexpected phone call of my friend yesterday. Thinking about it, I'd had such an emotional day and it was sort of like God's way of saying, I love you and you're not alone in this. The love of my friend for me, and the kindness she showed, is just a glimpse of God's love and kindness. For me that just blows my mind. I know He'll never leave me. He'll never leave you. To Him, we are worth more than anything we can imagine, and loved beyond measure.
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what a beautiful post sparrowhawk.
You made me remember the times a friend called out of the blue
At just the right time when I needed.
The Holy Spirit is so wise and gracious. I know also when I've had a little 'prompting' to call someone..so many times...you know, they will say...'Oh wow..I'm so glad you called because...'
Or 'oh...that is spooky, I was just thinking of you...'
we have so much to be grateful for and wonders to behold,
so fragile here, but held in Christ's ever present and loving embrace.
God bless you Sister
And may all your surgical pain disappear quickly.
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Astrid, I love what you wrote: 'we have so much to be grateful for and wonders to behold,
so fragile here, but held in Christ's ever present and loving embrace.'
So beautiful. The Holy Spirit moves in us and in those around us. I know that my small difficulties at this time can be used for good, in prayer, even as a way of being able to relate to another person better. In those I see such grace. Yes, it's been hard, and it's not over yet, but this whole experience has opened me up to others. I now pray for people I never thought to pray for before. I know what it means to go through tests, to wait, to receive important and unexpected news alone, and this helps my connection with others.
God bless you, too. I am doing better today but feel numb just above where the tumour was. Each day, one day at a time. I'm so grateful for everyone and everyone here.
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They expect release orders sometime this morning. Nurses and aides are more concerned about my hearing loss and weak ankle than my mastectomy. They are specialized. I hardly slept last night. They kept the balloon things on my lower legs all.day yesterday and last night. I am surprised at the size of the tissue expander.
I am also expecting Catholic chaplain on a sacramental visit. Will not be going to Mass tomorrow. Scared of germs. Also expecting a sacramental visit Sun.
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Glad to hear you will soon be released. And so happy you will be receiving Jesus. He is the greatest healer. When I returned home from my surgery I asked to receive the Eucharist. Afterwards I felt much better - of course, I was tired and in pain, but having Jesus so near to me - within me - was very important and gave me strength. I am sure it will strengthen you, too.
I just want to add something that touched me so deeply. Last night, I asked one of my sisters (74 yo and very dear to me) who has a history of breast cancer how she felt about it all. It turned into an almost 40-minute conversation. There is a lot that I've kept inside and buried in an effort to keep going. She helped me to see that it's okay to talk about it, and that this whole experience has a purpose - it helps me understand people who are ill and waiting for results and diagnosis, it will hopefully deepen my empathy and has directed my prayer. I'm not one to believe that God has caused my suffering, and so for me, this thing just happened. But God's using it to bring me closer to Him, just as He uses all other things...it just depends on me seeing it and allowing Him access.
Don't be afraid to be vulnerable with God. It is a scary thing. Sometimes being open and honest scares me too. But I really feel God wants me to be vulnerable. He has been incomparably vulnerable with me and with the whole world at the Incarnation...and in His Passion and death. I remember what C.S. Lewis said: to love at all is to be vulnerable. God has shown such love...can I also love in my own little way?
Anyway, just a little thought. God bless.
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McBaker, good news about going home! I can never sleep in hospitals; there's too much going on and too many people who check on you in the middle of the night. Many blessings to you, and I hope your healing goes smoothly.
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mc, happy to hear you will be out soon..maybe home by now!
You are in my prayers and hoping for a really good path report for you.Sparrowhawk, so glad you had a good talk with your Sister and good share about BC.
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MC wishing you a speedy recovery and healing, XX
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Thanks Astrid. Our conversation made me feel a little less alone and gave me the space to express myself. A blessed time.
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Advent coming up soon
.Time for some spiritual soul-cleaning!Irish Catholic Bishops have an online advent calendar with a thought to ponder for each day of the season.
Sharing the link in case anyone would like some nice (low calorie) Catholic advent inspiration. Doors will only open on the right day, starting with first Sunday of Advent, Dec 2nd. This will be Irish time (GMT) so perhaps in the evening for Sparrowhawk
and all ready each day in plenty of time for anyone in the UShttp://www.catholicbishops.ie/advent-calendar/
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wonderful...thaNkyou!
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I have bookmarked that calendar. Thank you. I am sure the bishops will be excited to see it gaining. interest internationally.
I realized that I don't have enough button down shirts. So I asked a single male friend to go to Goodwill and get me two or three shirts. He rang the doorbell but it did not wake me up. So he called me when he got home. My phone is a specialty phone for the hearing impaired. I thought it was morning! His choice was subtle dark colors, but tactile richness. Really nice. We are just letting the relationship develop.
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Thank you for the calendar and beautiful words from Pope Francis! 😊
MCBaker, it sounds like you have a good friend there. I'm glad for you and am praying for you both. I hope you continue to recover well.
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Feelingfeline - thank you for sharing the link. I look forward to checking it out! It may sound odd, but God used my search for Christmas traditions when our kids were young to help open my eyes to the Church. That, and Catholic radio. And since I worked in Christian radio, it was a beautiful combination that the Lord used to grab my attention and to teach me about the One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church!
MCBaker, like you I didn't have any button downs either and went straight to a thrift store where I found several I liked! But to have a personal shopper,,,,now that's even better! :-)
I hope everyone here has a beautiful Thanksgiving!0 -
I wrote that I hope everyone has a beautiful Thanksgiving then realized not everyone here celebrates that. Sorry! I love the fact that we're an international bunch!! Have a blessed week, all! ~ Kim
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I think Thanksgiving is a lovely practice and really enjoyed the celebration when I was in the US six years ago (wow, time flies...).
Actually, one sister living in our convent is American, so we do celebrate Thanksgiving at home - American flags, songs, turkeys... We are an international house (and international congregation) so we try to make sure all cultures are respected. Just one of the many things I love about my sisters. 😍
I wish you all a lovely celebration. I am thankful for you all!
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